After the rebirth, the scumbag went crazy for me

You want me to die again, don't you?

He couldn't figure out his own emotions, and strange anxiety and restlessness would always confuse him.

He had never felt such emotions before.

Uncontrollable and unexplainable strange emotions made him subconsciously resist, so he found the answer later.

It should be said that he gave that emotion the answer that he feels at ease.

Yuhuai Xing is good-looking, soft and well-behaved, he has a cleanliness obsession with that aspect and feelings, and this beautiful kitten just meets all his requirements.

It's not surprising to keep him by your side.

Obviously he thought so, obviously he didn't need to care about Yuhuai Xing's mood, let alone his leaving.

but……

The moment he saw Yuhuai Xing lying in a pool of blood, he panicked, his whole body seemed to be pulled out of his soul, and even breathing became difficult.

"I..." Gu Cinian caressed Yu Huaixing's face, lowered his forehead against his forehead, and softened his tone, "I won't do that again, really, so let's go back to the way we were before. Um?"

He didn't realize that his voice was trembling, and he looked at Yuhuai Star with his dark eyes. Although he restrained his emotions, his gloomy eyebrows and eyes revealed his uneasiness.

Yuhuai Xing's current attitude scared him, and he said again in a soft voice: "I was wrong before, and I apologize to you, Xing Xing, can you trust me again? We were so happy before. I'm happiest when we're together."

Gu Cinian has been playing the emotional card, he knows that Yu Huaixing is easy to soften his heart towards him, just like how he suffered all the grievances in those ten years and continued to stay by his side.

In the past, he would never change for anything, let alone soften his attitude, but if this could bring Yuhuai Xing back to him - he could do so.

"Star……"

Gu Cinian's voice at this moment is as gentle as if wrapped in honey, which was what the former Yuhuai star had been longing for.

Now that he got what he once longed for, Yu Huai Xing just looked at him calmly: "If you treated me like this before, I would be happy and I will remember it forever, but now I am no longer what I used to be."

Lifting his half-down eyelashes, he pushed Gu Cinian away, walked to the living room, took out a pack of cigarettes from the drawer of the table, took out a cigarette and lit it, the scarlet flame flickered, and a puff of white smoke was exhaled.

Raising his eyes, looking at Gu Cinian, he smiled lightly, and said, "The old me...he is dead."

The mint-flavored smoke dispersed in front of his eyes, covering Yu Huaixing's face with a layer of white gauze, which looked so ethereal that Gu Cinian's heart panicked for a moment.

"Yuhuai star!" Gu Cinian walked quickly to Yuhuai star, grabbed the cigarette in his hand and extinguished it, "Don't say that! He's not dead, you, aren't you alive? I know you blame me , I will apologize to you, and I will always be with you in the future! Don't talk like this again, Yuhuai Xing, Xing Xing... okay?"

He took Yu Huaixing's hand, and gently twisted his fingers: "Xing Xing, if you don't know how to tell Gu Ciyin, let me tell you, leave everything to me, huh?"

Gu Cinian, who has always been arrogant, lowered his figure to such an extent that it is shocking, and Yuhuai star is no exception.

He has always had a lofty attitude, but he has such capital, just like the bright starlight in the sky, he will always be the existence that others look up to.

Yu Huaixing was deeply moved, it turned out that his toy was so valuable to play with in Gu Cinian's heart that he did not hesitate to lower his figure.

There was a huge wave in his heart, hitting his soft heart.

Taking a deep breath, Yu Huaixing calmly tried to withdraw his hand from Gu Cinian's, but Gu Cinian held his hand tightly.

"If you don't promise me, I won't let go." Gu Cinian said.

Yu Huai Xing just thought it was funny: "So what if you don't let go?"

He smiled bitterly. In his previous life, he was kept in the dark by Gu Cinian. In this life, he thought he could draw a clear line with him, but the reality gave him a slap in the face.

He would never forget how sad he was before, and he was tired of entanglement with Gu Cinian, so he didn't continue to struggle, he said: "Gu Cinian, do you want to sleep with me?"

Some time ago, because of his health, Gu Cinian actually didn't touch him very much, but now he probably has thoughts about that.

Glancing at the time, he asked, "Didn't you get tired of it in your previous life? It's been a long time since you've eaten home-cooked food and you feel fresh?"

"Let's go, it's not convenient here." Lowering his eyelashes, Yuhuai Xing was calm and indifferent, "Go to the hotel or your house, you can do whatever you want, but I hope you won't come to me again after this time."

Gu Cinian gritted his teeth: "Do you think I am so humble to sleep with you!"

"Isn't it!" Yuhuai Xing was furious suddenly, he had already given in, why did Gu Cinian press on every step of the way!

"Didn't you go home before and eat some home-cooked food because you were tired of eating wild game outside? Think back to yourself how you did when you went home in your previous life, and how much time was spent on other things? You go back 90.00% of my time at home is spent on that!"

He smiled wryly: "I was the one who was mean in the past, because I thought you really liked me because I overestimated my strength. I have been begging for everything all the time because I thought you would go home sooner or later. But I don't want to be mean again, please let me go? "

When he roared out, Yu Huaixing felt that he had exhausted all his strength, and his blood continued to flow upwards. He kicked Gu Cinian's leg and quickly pulled out his hand to pick up the fruit knife on the table.

"You want me to die again, don't you? Then you can let me go!" Yu Huaixing picked up the knife and stabbed himself, the blood dripped down with a strong smell of blood.

The knife missed Yu Huaixing's body, Gu Cinian's hand grasped the sharp edge of the knife, and blood dripped from his palm.

Bright red blood was reflected in Yuhuai Xing's eyes. Looking at the dripping blood, he slowly let go of the handle of the knife, looking at the blood that kept flowing down.

Staggering back, he fell on the sofa, his eyes flushed.

Clutching his head, Yu Huaixing's spirit collapsed, his eyes were full of despair, he regretted it, really regretted it.

He spent ten years humblely by Gu Cinian's side, and the other party just treated him as a dispensable plaything. When he woke up and wanted to get out of this quagmire...but he had to endure deeper torture.

Bitter tears fell from the sockets of his eyes and dripped on the back of his hands. The smell of blood wafted in the room. He heard Gu Cinian take a deep breath, and there was a "click" sound of joints when he clenched his hands tightly.

"You, don't do this." Gu Cinian casually bandaged his bleeding hand, knelt down and hugged Yuhuai Xing into his arms.

He hugged Yuhuai Xing tightly with his hands, seeing Yuhuai Xing's tears just now, his heart seemed to be torn open.

"Don't cry..." Yu Huaixing's tears fell on the tip of his heart one by one like hot beads, so hot that it hurt him to breathe.

The body was stiff, Gu Cinian's heart was still flustered, and he stroked Yuhuai Xing's back with his uninjured hand.

Yuhuai Xing was embraced by Gu Cinian, he heard Gu Cinian's panting heavily, and for a long time he said in a trembling voice: "I, I won't force you anymore."

Hot tears dripped on the clothes on Gu Cinian's shoulders, and that sense of powerlessness surged up again, as if thousands of ants were constantly gnawing at his internal organs.

The wind was still blowing, crashing against the window and making a knocking sound, the footsteps didn't know when they left, and when Yuhuai Xing raised his head, Gu Cinian had already left.

Only the coat that Gu Cinian put on her was left.

After that, Gu Cinian didn't come to him for several days, nor did he call or send him a message.

This New Year is immersed in rain and fog, and the weather is dark all day long.

Yu Huaixing hid in the room, except sleeping and drawing when he got up. He didn't know what he wanted to draw, but drawing could calm him down, at least it could give his chaotic brain a moment of peace.

Because of the rain, there is less sound of fireworks this New Year. Except for the fireworks that exploded in the night sky on New Year’s Eve, which is full of New Year’s flavor, now you can’t even tell that it’s the New Year except for the New Year’s goods at home.

This kind of life continued until the Lantern Festival.

City B, which had always been smoggy, finally cleared the clouds and mists on this day, and the sun shone through the clouds, carrying the breath of sunshine.

"Seven Years" has been scheduled to launch two days after the Lantern Festival. Fortunately, the weather has been fine since the Lantern Festival, and even the temperature has become warmer.

Gu Ciyin came back on the day the machine was turned on. After breakfast, Gu Ciyin said, "Xing Xing, I'll take you to the set."

Yu Huaixing was a little worried about his injuries. He was in a coma for so long before, and now he is recuperating, so he can't be careless.

"Okay, it's almost done. I just happened to go to the set to have a look."

This movie was invested by Gu Ciyin, so he said that there is no reason for Yuhuai Star to ask Gu Ciyin not to go.

When they arrived at the set, Yu Huaixing and Gu Ciyin walked side by side. They were engaged lovers to the outside world, so they naturally had to put on a show outside.

Sunlight fell on Yuhuai Xing's face through the gaps in the leaves, and a leaf fell. Gu Ciyin helped him remove the leaves. The distance was very close, and it looked beautiful and ambiguous.

The people around were talking quietly when they saw it, and several girls even secretly took pictures with their mobile phones, their faces were all red.

Knowing that Yu Huai Xing has never acted before, the director did not rush to shoot on the first day of filming in order to let Yu Huai Xing find out.

He asked Qian Jing to bring Yuhuai Xing, so that they could try to find a scene to rehearse by themselves first.

When they were practicing, there was a movement where the male protagonist Shou was held in his arms by the male protagonist Gong. When Qian Jing and Yu Huaixing finished talking about how to act, suddenly Qian Jing was grabbed and his neck was lifted away.

Yu Huaixing turned his head and saw the handsome face he hadn't seen for a long time frowning tightly.

"Young Master Gu." Looking at the eldest son Qian Jing in front of him, his anger was quickly cut off, so he could only greet him with a smile.

Gu Cinian didn't even look at him, his gaze was always on Yuhuai Xing's face: "Did he come with you today?"

Although that "he" didn't say it clearly, Yu Huaixing knew who he was talking about, and looked at Gu Ci Nian lightly, he didn't want to answer his question.

He looked at Gu Cinian vigilantly, but this time Gu Cinian did not drag him away as forcefully as before.

This is the studio, and he didn't want to get involved with Gu Cinian's past and present lives, so he looked at Qian Jing and said, "Let's practice in another place."

Qian Jing remained silent at the side, he observed the two secretly, as an actor, he soon discovered the subtle relationship between Yu Huaixing and Gu Cinian.

He knew that Gu Cinian was Gu Ciyin's younger brother, but now Gu Cinian's attitude towards Yuhuai Xing is obviously not the attitude towards his sister-in-law.

If it is said that he is dissatisfied with Yuhuai Xing and Gu Ciyin being together, he feels that he has used some means to climb up to Gu Ciyin, but instead of contempt, his eyes look at Yuhuai Xing. Unstoppable possessiveness.

Although Qian Jing is dedicated, wise people will choose the former between their own future and dedication.

He secretly glanced at Gu Ci Nian, and said apologetically, "Xing Xing suddenly feels a little uncomfortable, so I won't practice today, and I will talk to the director later."

After speaking, he left and walked towards the director.

Now only Yuhuai Xing and Gu Ci Nian are left in the lounge. Yu Huai Xing wanted to leave, but Gu Ci Nian said: "He only sent you here and then left, which shows that he doesn't love you."

Yu Huaixing didn't know when Gu Cinian came over, nor did he know how much he saw, he just didn't have the heart to talk to him.

"Gu Ciyin doesn't love you at all, Yuhuai Xing, what are you trying to do with him?" Gu Cinian couldn't control his hand holding Yuhuai Xing this time, "I have what he has, why can't you trust me again ?”

"What are you trying to do with him?" Yu Huaixing suddenly smiled, he slowly raised his eyes, and said with a light smile, "You think he doesn't love me, but do you love me? Gu Cinian, do you know how to love? Do you have love? Anyone?"

"Maybe there is." He was powerless, and even his tone was lightened, with a tired voice, "It's just not me."

Words such as toys and pets seemed to be branded on him, and the naked/naked reality was in front of him, severely branding one mark after another on his body.

Gu Cinian was stunned for a moment, but did not speak.

like?love?These are worthless to him at all.

For him, love is just an ethereal and illusory thing based on desire/desire, as long as passion/desire is satisfied, love is not needed at all.

There is no so-called liking at all, it is all because of the extension of passion/desire, and when the passion/desire is satisfied, the so-called liking will also dissipate.

He clearly thought so, but he was afraid that Yuhuai Xing would leave, just like in his previous life when he saw him lying in a pool of blood with his own eyes as if he was about to stop breathing.

Once upon a time, he actually had something to be afraid of?

"It's not important." Yu Huaixing spoke in a very soft voice, as soft as a murmur.

It doesn't matter whether Gu Cinian has ever liked someone, or whether he has no heart at all, and he doesn't care - because he will no longer want the light that has never belonged to him.

"I, I can!" Seeing Yuhuai Xing's dim eyes, Gu Cinian's heart was suddenly stabbed fiercely.

He couldn't describe his current mood, it was as if something had been dug out deep in his heart that he didn't even know. When the sharp knife pierced into the heart, there was a sharp pain, and it slowly penetrated into the bone marrow.

Holding Yuhuai Xing's hand, he repeated it again, afraid that Yuhuai Xing would not hear: "I can! If you want me to love you, I will learn to love you."

Like and love are things that he never considered before, if these can keep Yuhuai star, then he is willing to learn.

"What kind of "like" do you want? " Gu Cinian looked at him, his dark eyes softened, as if there was still some sincerity.

"You used to want me to accompany you more, you said you were happy every day with me, that's "like" right?Then I am with you, do I also like you? He continued, "Then I like you, and I will stay with you."So...don't be with Gu Ciyin anymore, I will spend more time with you than him. "

He leaned over and lowered his head, put his forehead against Yuhuai Xing's, and gently pinned his slightly longer hair behind his ears with his hands, his voice was magnetic and bewitching, as long as he heard a sentence, he seemed to be able to fall into that gentleness.

"Come back to me, okay?"

"Gu Ci Nian..."

Yuhuai Xing leaned against the wall weakly, he couldn't explain what it means to like him, and he couldn't explain how much he liked Gu Cinian in the past ten years in his previous life, so he desperately wanted to make him happy.

And he didn't have to explain.

To Gu Cinian, he has always been a plaything, how could Gu Cinian's love be given to him, and he didn't want it.

It is enough to experience the feeling of pain to death once.

Gu Cinian had never lowered his figure so much before. He lowered his figure repeatedly in front of Yu Huai Xing, but he was already so humble, but Yu Huai Xing never looked him in the eye.

He should have been very angry and annoyed, but seeing Yuhuai Xing's current state, his heart felt congested and he couldn't express any anger.

"I'm already like this, isn't it enough?" Gu Cinian put his hand on his face and continued, "Then what else do you want? I promise you whatever you want, some insignificant things are delayed this New Year , I will definitely spend next New Year with you, and every new year after that, Xing Xing?"

They were so close that they could kiss within a centimeter, Gu Cinian's warm breath sprinkled on his face, Yu Huaixing turned his head and pushed him away.

"I said I don't want anything." Yu Huai Xing looked up at him, "The ten years you think of, what kind of mood do you think I spent those ten years?"

"Gu Cinian, you don't know what liking is, and you don't know how to love. You think about yourself from the beginning to the end." Facing Gu Cinian's dark eyes, a burst of tiredness welled up in his heart.

Looking at this familiar yet unfamiliar person in front of him, he suddenly smiled, and lightly touched Gu Cinian's thin lips with his hand: "You said you want to love me, what do you use to love me? You don't even have a heart at all."

Gu Cinian is naturally cool and cold, he has been the object of others' pursuit since he was a child, and there are countless people who like him, no matter what it is, as long as he wants it, there is nothing he can't get.

In this way, he will pester himself, probably because he feels that even if he doesn't want his toys, he can't give them to others.

His promise just now was just a temporary deal, after that he might not take it to heart at all, and he might not even remember it.

Glancing at Gu Cinian's not fully healed palm that was still wrapped in bandages, Yu Huaixing stroked the white bandages on his fingers: "Gu Cinian...I didn't realize it before, and I didn't realize it until later. There has never been love between us, and we have always been in a nurturing relationship. I am just a canary you keep in a cage on a whim."

Taking a deep breath, Yu Huaixing tore open his wounds bit by bit towards Gu Cinian, as if he wanted to force himself to accept the unbearable past.

"We... To put it nicely, it's called nurturing, but to put it bluntly, I'm actually just a toy you play with at will."

Gu Cinian could also feel the pain when Yuhuai Xing opened his own wound, or even worse.

The torn and bleeding wound showed all the scenes of the past in front of Gu Cinian, like a knife stabbing at his heart.

He couldn't forget the scene of Yuhuaixing closing his eyes calmly, just like he couldn't imagine what Yuhuaixing was thinking when he closed his eyes while looking at the sky with distracted eyes.

At that time, he must have been in pain, but he was so afraid of pain, but when he fell into a pool of blood, he didn't frown, as if everything had been relieved, and there was nothing worthy of his nostalgia in the world.

"No, it's not..." Gu Cinian held Yu Huaixing's hand tightly, but couldn't hold back a complete sentence for a long time.

Hiding his bandaged hands behind his back, he was even afraid that Yuhuai Xing would remember what happened to his bandaged back.

When Yu Huaixing stabbed himself with a knife that day, he felt the blood in his body was flowing backwards, and when he realized it, he was already tightly grasping the blade.

Compared with the thrill and pain at that moment, it was more fortunate.

Fortunately, the knife did not fall on Yu Huai Xing.

"No?" Yu Huaixing looked at him with a smile, "When did you become a person who dares to act and dare not to be, Gu Cinian? I don't blame you. It's normal for a proud man like you to look down on me. As long as you I want to drive a lot of people and want to be slept by you. So... just as a charity? Let me go."

Gu Cinian clenched his fists tightly, his dark eyes were no longer calm as usual, and even the surging anger was firmly suppressed.

How many times has Yu Huai Xing begged him like this?

He begged himself to let him go?But what should he do?

"You asked me to let you go, but have you ever thought about me?" Gu Cinian's eyes were red, he held Yu Huaixing's hand against his heart, "I will really change, you can't just leave me like this , can't leave me..."

That day when he hugged Yuhuai Xing in a pool of blood, he watched a large piece of red and snow blend together in the snowflakes all over the sky.

He panicked and rushed to the hospital with Yuhuai Xing in his arms, but he could only feel his temperature gradually disappearing.

Hearing the doctor's announcement that Yuhuai Xing had passed away in the hospital, Gu Cinian's expression was calm, with no emotion visible on his face.

But his pale face and red eyes scared everyone, like the calm before the storm, sending chills down the spine.

That day he walked out of the hospital peacefully holding Yuhuai Star, and the next day the hospital turned into an abandoned wasteland for no reason.

Taking Yuhuai Xing home, he turned on the heater to the maximum, and even brought a lot of heaters.

Holding Yuhuai Xing in his arms, with a warm stove next to him, he rubbed Yuhuai Xing's cold hands and asked in a low voice: "I know you are afraid of the cold, is it warmer now? Here are some heaters."

The stove was very hot, Gu Cinian's body was scorching hot, but the person in his arms was still cold, and even his body was stiff.

He kicked over the stove angrily, sparks splashed and scalded the corner of Yuhuaixing's clothes to a small piece, he hurriedly apologized and carried Yuhuaixing to the bathroom.

"It's okay, since the stove is useless, then, then I'll help you take a bath, you used to like to take a hot bath, I, I'll help you..."

The hot water filled the bathtub, and he entered the bathtub with Yuhuaixing in his arms, carefully rubbing his fair skin inch by inch.

It's just that this snow-white skin is really like snow, and there is no trace of blood.

The author says:

顾:媳妇求你回来?jpg感谢在2022-02-0822:02:44-2022-02-0922:25:16期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦——

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!