After I lost my memory, I attacked the crematorium.

After dinner, Xie Jinian went into the study as usual to continue working on his work.

After replying to the question emails at work, Li Bowen's "Congxin" still hovered in his mind.

He fiddled with the mouse with his fingers, and when he came back to his senses, he realized that he had opened the mailbox that he had almost forgotten.

It was the mailbox that Han Yicheng set up for him when he was in college, and the username was a combination of their names.At that time, although they went to university in the same city, they did not go to the same school. Han Yicheng got an email address and said, "Long-distance love depends on all possible frequent contacts to maintain it."

As a result, in less than a month, Han Yicheng couldn't bear the frequency of meeting only on weekends for a week, and rented a house next to Xie Jinian University. The two officially started living together, and their mailboxes were forgotten like playing house.

Scanning the homepage of the mailbox, he suddenly found that there were more than 3000 unread emails lying in it.

Surprised from the bottom of his heart, he shook his hands and clicked on the inbox.

Sure enough, those emails all came from Han Yicheng without exception.One letter a day, or even a few letters a day, started from the night he left Han Yicheng's engagement ceremony, but suddenly stopped a month ago.

The stop date was the day he and Han Yicheng met in a suit shop.

It was also the day when Han Yicheng misunderstood that he and Song Jinghui were going to get married.

With indescribable pain, he clicked on the last email.

A simple two sentences open the mail interface in black and white.

【Qiqi, I wish you happiness.Even if this happiness has nothing to do with me anymore. 】

The swelling pain turned into a dull pain, hitting the heart cavity, and the hollow echoed with unstoppable soreness.

Feeling complicated, he casually clicked on a few emails from the three years since he disappeared, most of which were about Han Yicheng's daily life.What happened every day, who did he meet, what progress did he make, and what happened to Han Dongzhou made him sick again.

But the ending is invariably, "Are you coming back tomorrow?"

After he returned to the United States two years ago, the emails were streamlined from daily chatter to mostly introspection.

[I say I like you now because I want you to know that I like you, not to force you to accept a response. 】

[Before making any decision now, I will think about whether you like it or not, and whether it will be uncomfortable.You asked me whether I have thought about your mood for even a second, and I understand now. 】

And it ends with, "I'm sorry."

Xie Jinnian's heart couldn't bear the sudden weight, so he shook his hands and closed the mailbox.

But those words refused to retreat, even if they closed their eyes, they were still swaying in their minds.

until he fell asleep.

When Xie Jinian suddenly woke up from the nightmare, the night vision clock showed one o'clock in the morning.

The sky outside the window was thick and dark. Dad and younger brother had been back to China for two weeks. Xie Jinian felt more and more lonely alone in Ji's huge villa.

He, who was most familiar with loneliness since he was a child, would start to be afraid of loneliness, which made him feel helpless.It turns out that people will miss the things they once owned when they are missing, and naturally feel reluctant to give up when they are lost again.

He remembered what Li Bowen often said: This is human nature.You just need to find the correct outlet, no definition is required.

The phone rang suddenly, echoing in the quiet night with a rush that made Xie Jinian's temples twitch.He glanced at Ji Yuchen's incoming call on the display, hurriedly connected, and asked anxiously, "What's wrong?"

Ji Yuchen's voice was also anxious, with an unusual panic: "Dad is injured!"

"What?" Xie Jinian sat up, pressed the phone tightly to his ear, and raised his heart, "Is it serious? I'll go back to China right away!"

He quickly went through the work arrangement in his mind, and was startled suddenly, and asked urgently: "You should be at the holding conference of Qi Nian International now? Is it Han Yicheng..."

"It's Han Xiuqi." Ji Yuchen said bitterly, "The whole family is sick."

"Where's Dad? What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Han Xiuqi brought a bunch of gangsters to smash the scene. It's really messed up. Dad accidentally fell down. I'm fine."

"Go to the hospital?"

"On the way to the hospital. Han Yicheng... protected his father for a while, and he was hit on the head, and he seemed to be injured too." Ji Yuchen said angrily and helplessly, "He probably came to the private hospital as well, I will go later Take a look at his condition."

Xie Jinian got out of bed, switched the phone to hands-free, and quickly got dressed: "I'll be on the plane soonest."

After getting off the plane and meeting Li Shi who came to pick him up at the airport, Xie Jinnian couldn't take care of rest and went to the hospital immediately.

Dad fell and sprained, but other than being in a wheelchair for a few days, his health is fine.Seeing his father sleeping peacefully in the bedroom of the VIP ward, Xie Jinian felt relieved, and finally sat down on the sofa in the outer hall after leaving the bedroom, revealing the fatigue after long-distance travel and mental tension.

Ji Yuchen gently closed the bedroom door of the ward, and came to the outer hall to sit beside Xie Jinian, raised his hand to gently massage his temples, and said obediently: "Brother, you have worked hard."

Xie Jinnian closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of his family, and the desolation of being alone in the mansion overnight, which was eroded by loneliness, was properly dissolved.

In the state of almost falling asleep, there is always an inexplicable thread entangled in the heart and refuses to relax.

Ji Yuchen seemed to know what was going on in his heart, and while rubbing his temples non-stop, he said, "Han Yicheng has a slight concussion, and the doctor said that as long as he doesn't exercise strenuously, he's fine. He was discharged from the hospital after the examination."

Xie Jinnian made a low "hmm" sound, thought for a while, and asked, "Didn't Fu Nianheng say that he would withdraw from Qi Nian International completely? Why did he go to the holding press conference again?"

There was a light knock on the door, Xie Jinian opened his eyes, and looked over with Ji Yuchen.

It was Fu Nianheng who came.

"Our press conference's improper security caused uncle to be injured, so I apologize." Fu Nianheng explained the purpose of coming decently and simply, "If uncle is resting, I will come back later."

Letting Fu Nianheng into the living room, Ji Yuchen handed over a bottle of water, and at the same time asked without any hesitation: "Has Han Yicheng quit Qi Nian International?"

"He intends to retire, but not so fast. Qi Nian was almost built by him alone. Many details, relationships and nodes need to be handed over clearly, but his current situation..."

Fu Nianheng said, subconsciously looked at Xie Jinian, and stopped talking.

Ji Yuchen frowned: "We've been working together for so long, and you're considered acquaintances if you round up. If you have something to say, don't hold your breath."

Fu Nianheng smiled wryly: "I really want to gossip, but Han Yicheng has repeatedly warned me not to mention anything about him in front of your brother, not even a single word. I was entrusted by others, what else can I do except shut up?"

"Why don't you let me tell you?" Ji Yuchen disdainfully said, "Isn't it to be told?"

"He's afraid that your brother thinks he's trying to show his presence, and that he's annoying you." Fu Nianheng glanced at the quiet Xie Jinian, and deliberately lowered his voice, as if whispering to Ji Yuchen, "The big man said Get out, get out, don't snort even if you feel so bad, how handsome." Ji Yuchen sneered disapprovingly: "I never thought he was handsome. But this time he helped my father, I want him more or less." A hypocritical thank you."

Fu Nianheng shook his head: "In fact, he didn't intend to attend the holding conference, but he heard that your father would also attend, so he went."

"My dad goes and he goes, what does he want to do?" Ji Yuchen asked.

"He hasn't really met your father, he said he wants to take a look."

"What are you looking at? Are you afraid that my father will abuse my brother? Who does he think he is?" Ji Yuchen was annoyed, "Except for him, Han Yicheng, everyone is good to my brother."

Xie Jinian said quietly: "Xiaochen, stop talking."

He turned to Fu Nianheng and said, "Boss Fu, is his condition serious?"

Fu Nianheng was startled, pursed his lips, and said in embarrassment: "How can I answer this... From my point of view, he may be dying. But it seems to others, except that he doesn't like to talk to others, and always closes himself. Apart from getting up, he is still the same Mr. Han."

Ji Yuchen glanced at Xie Jinian vigilantly, and took the topic away: "That's nothing serious. Mr. Fu, my dad is asleep, so you can come and see him later. As for Mr. Han, I'll go and thank you."

Fu Nianheng nodded in response to Ji Yuchen, and the phone vibrated in his hand.He glanced at the incoming call interface, then at Xie Jinian, said "Farewell" quickly, and walked out the door.

"Can't get in touch? Is he in the First International?"

Fu Nianheng's voice was very low, but the hospital was too quiet, and it still faintly leaked into Xie Jinnian's ears inside the door.

Without knowing it, he stood up and took two steps towards the door.

"You contact the property, and if he doesn't leave a spare key or password at the property, you should call the police and smash the lock."

After saying something over there, Fu Nianheng uttered a swear word, and said helplessly: "This day... It's thanks to him for six years. Let me tell you that he is a widow. He has no relatives and no lover. I'm just working with him, I don't know the password of his door. Just call the police and ask someone to break the lock. He hasn't recovered from the concussion yet. If he falls again in that small apartment alone, he will be in a vegetable state in minutes What should I do? I'm not interested in arranging the rest of his life for him."

"Boss Fu." Xie Jinian walked to the door and stopped Fu Nianheng, "Is it Han Yicheng?"

Fu Nianheng nodded solemnly, and said bitterly: "Xiaohe can't contact him anymore, and he can't get in."

"Try this password." Xie Qi annual report gave Fu Nianheng a string of numbers.

Fu Nianheng's eyes lit up: "Your birthday?"

Xie Jinian nodded helplessly, and asked Fu Nianheng: "He has already controlled Fenghan International, and he still lives in First International?"

Han Yicheng has sketched countless times the situation after obtaining Fenghan International and kicking Han Dongzhou and Han Xiuqi out of the house, and he has planned his expected results with Xie Jinian more than once: "My grandfather's villa is so big, no matter what, you have to live with me. Let’s live in together and make sure to serve you comfortably”; “We will redecorate and make it whatever you like”; “It doesn’t matter, if you think it’s too big, we’ll choose a room that suits you Just make the bedroom, you can do whatever you want, you can dismantle it, as long as you are with me."

And when he really got back what he had always wanted, Han Yicheng didn't even enjoy the fruit he had been chasing for so long.

The other side of the phone replied "opened", and after a minute, he said something to Fu Nianheng hastily.

Fu Nianheng sighed: "Check the medicine prescribed by the psychiatrist and make sure that he hasn't taken too much, then let him sleep. He doesn't have much time to fall asleep."

After a pause, he instructed again: "Call the private doctor to the First International immediately, just in case."

After hanging up the phone, Fu Nianheng thanked Xie Jinian. He wanted to say something, but he stopped talking and entered the elevator.

When Xie Jinian returned to the ward, he met Ji Yuchen's worried gaze.

"Brother." Ji Yuchen bit his lip lightly, and opened his mouth with some determination, "Although I really don't like Han Yicheng that much, but if you're worried about him, go and have a look."

Xie Jinian stood quietly, as if he didn't hear Ji Yuchen's words.

But the slightly trembling hand he clenched into a fist and stuck to the side of his leg leaked to Ji Yuchen his struggle at the moment.

Ji Yuchen sighed more deeply: "In fact, in the two years since you returned to the United States, I occasionally saw Han Yicheng in Qi Nian. He... how should I put it, just like what Fu Nianheng said, people who don't know him may think that there is nothing wrong with him, It's just cold and indifferent, but when I look at it, I can actually feel that he lacks a little anger, that is... the emotional ups and downs and changes that almost no one will have in life, very depressed."

"And every time he sees me, I don't want to see that kind of look that he wants to ask something but keeps silent."

"I think he should have learned enough lessons now, and he should be able to control his behavior. And I really believe that he can really give you everything he has, and he will treat you with respect."

Xie Jinian numbly supported the back of the sofa and sat down without speaking or making a sound.

Ji Yuchen also sat down next to him.

Like a big brother, he hugged Xie Jinian's shoulders, let him lean on his shoulders, and said softly, "Brother, I know you haven't had a good time these few years. When you and Brother Jinghui were together, it seemed It was very pleasant, but that kind of happiness was covered with fog, which made me feel anxious. In fact, my father also saw it. He talked to me deeply after he returned to China. When you first arrived in the United States, you would have a car accident because you were in a trance. I always thought it was because The experience you experienced when you were a child made you separate from things, and you lacked a little enthusiasm for participation. It was not until Han Yicheng came to the door after returning to China that I realized that your heart would fluctuate. In the past two years since you returned to the United States, you have become a heartless person again. The state of dead wood is very similar to Han Yicheng's state, except that you are hiding, and he has nothing to hide."

"Anyway, brother, you are not happy in your current state. I don't want to see you like this. You have been suppressed for too long, let go of what should be released." He gently followed Xie Jinnian's back, "Let's Just face and solve this problem, okay? It’s not interesting to live or die.”

"But, if..."

"There is no if. There is a word in Chinese that means life and death. You have been trapped for too long. There is no need to be trapped here for the rest of your life. If you go out, you will die once at worst, and then live better." Ji Yuchen Gently but firmly patted Xie Jinnian's vest, "Anyway, no matter what you choose, I will always be your staunch supporter."

Xie Jinian's mind was in a mess.He buried his face in Ji Yuchen's shoulder, closed his eyes, as if he had fallen into a dream.

Only the changing frequency of breathing showed his confused thoughts.

Ji Yuchen leaned back on the sofa calmly, moved his shoulders slightly, so that Xie Jinian could lean more comfortably in his shoulder socket, and stopped disturbing Xie Jinian.

Amidst Ji Yuchen's steady and regular breathing, Xie Jinian slowly calmed down and fell into a dream.

In the dream, there was a little Han Yicheng, and the little him, holding hands and walking straight into the darkness.As an adult, he hurriedly stopped the two young children: "Don't go there, it's wrong."

"But where we are going, we have to pass through there." The little him said to his adult self, his eyes were firm and clear, "Ah Cheng's goal is over there."

He knelt down, stroked his little head, and said softly: "What about your goal? You don't have to have the same goal as his."

"Yeah." The little Xie Jinian nodded, "I'm very clear, Cheng and I will always be together, and everything that wants to separate us, such as that black ball of bad things, as long as we are together, we will definitely be together." You can rush over."

"But you may not be suitable to be together." Xie Jinian tried to convince the little self in the dream, maybe hidden in his heart, "If you force it, you will get hurt."

"But there is no one who is perfectly suitable." The little Han Yicheng looked up at him stubbornly, "Isn't there a word called running in? Qiqi and I are, we will become the semicircle that best suits each other, and then we will be together rushed over."

The next moment, the two little ones held hands and walked towards the black mass with their backs straight.

On the other side of the black, the haggard Han Yicheng, like every nightmare that trapped Xie Jinian, looked at him dejectedly, stretched out his hand, but couldn't hold anything, and then fell into that abyss.

But this time, as if being pulled by an invisible force, he also jumped down.

During the endless fall, Han Yicheng held his hand.

He said, "Qiqi, don't be afraid, I'm here."

Waking up with shortness of breath, Ji Yuchen was no longer in the living room, he was lying on the sofa, covered with a thin hospital blanket.

It was night, and the time on the phone showed two o'clock in the morning.The unique cold smell of the hospital permeated the breath, and the emptiness and silence swept over and devoured the emotions.

Xie Jinian stood up, approached the bedroom lightly, and pushed open the door.

The small light on the watch, with a tiny brightness that does not affect people's sleep, reflects the profile of the father who is sleeping peacefully on the bed, and the profile of Ji Yuchen who is staying behind on the sofa opposite the bed.

Xie Jinian backed away gently and closed the door.

Back in the living room, he looked at the thick night outside the window and was silent for a long time.

When the clock jumped to 03:00, he left a note for Ji Yuchen.

And walked out that door.

When he walked out of the elevator and turned to the corridor, Xie Jinian was stunned.

Even though it was nearly four o'clock in the night, the door of Han Yicheng's Block B was open, and the light in the entrance was brightly lit.

Xie Jinnian knocked on the door, but no one answered, and the room sounded very quiet.

Startled, he quickly stepped into the door.

Bypassing the porch and entering the living room, the lights were on, and there were clearly three people there.

Xiao He was sitting breathlessly in the corner of the sofa and looking at his mobile phone. The standing private doctor was holding a syringe in his hand, and said in a low voice: "If you don't want to get an infusion, you should also inject some electrolytes, otherwise you will fall asleep."

Han Yicheng's eyes avoided the syringe, but his eyes resisted, and his body obviously resisted. Although his hand was stretched out to accept the injection, his muscles were obviously stiff, and the lines of his arms were very obvious.

Everyone was quite tense, until Xie Jinian walked into the living room and raised his hand on the cabinet to knock twice, the three of them suddenly noticed his presence.

Xiao He narrowed his eyes, jumped up suddenly, and called excitedly, "Brother Nian?!"

The doctor turned his head to look at him, then turned back to see if Han Yicheng's arm was relaxed and if he could get an injection.

And Han Yicheng stared at Xie Jinian with a sleepwalking expression.

There was no light in his eyes, but the cold expression softened instantly when it fell on Xie Jinian's face.

He called hoarsely and slowly: "Qiqi?"

Then he closed his eyes and opened them again, still with that sleepwalking expression, his voice became even hoarse and bitter.

He smiled wryly at the same time: "Besides auditory hallucinations, have I already experienced hallucinations?"

The doctor answered in bewilderment, but still lowered his head and focused on trying to make Han Yicheng relax so that he could complete the injection.

But suddenly a glint flashed in Han Yicheng's eyes.

In an instant, the doctor screamed, and Han Yicheng raised his hand to snatch the syringe in his hand. In the blink of an eye, Han Yicheng stabbed the needle point of the syringe into the back of his hand forcefully.

Xiao He and the doctor screamed at the same time, and Xie Jinian hurried over to block Han Yicheng's arm that was pushing down, barely stopping the depth of the needle's penetration into the back of his hand.

However, the back of Han Yicheng's hand was still dripping with blood from the needle point in an instant.

"What are you doing?" Xie Jinian couldn't help shouting, "Are you crazy?"

The sharp pain distorted his expression, but Han Yicheng's eyes were bright.He took a good look at Xie Jinian, and murmured: "I just want to make sure that you are not my hallucination..."

He choked up and couldn't continue.

But his gaze still refused to leave Xie Jinian's face, with unconcealable greed and eagerness.

Xie Jinian threw the syringe on the ground forcefully, gasping for breath, unable to say anything, but the tears that burst into tears rolled out of his eyes irresistibly and hotly.

Han Yicheng raised his hand and hurriedly wanted to wipe it, but suddenly woke up and retracted it like an electric shock.He said eagerly: "Are you crying? Don't cry, I don't deserve your cry."

As he spoke, he stopped his voice again, that sleepwalking expression covered his face and eyes again.

"It must be my hallucination." His voice was full of sadness, "Qiqi will never come to see me again. He will never cry for me. He... is very happy. Really, I met you in the United States. He's gone, and he's smiling at the man, smiling very happily. I haven't made him happy in years, and I... I have nothing left."

His eyes turned around in a panic, and then landed on the syringe thrown on the floor by Xie Jinian.

Seeing Han Yicheng's body move slightly, Xie Jinian took a step forward, pressed hard on his shoulder, raised his hand and pulled out a red string from his shirt.

A piece of jade and a ring dangled from the red rope.

He pulled hard, and the red rope broke.The ring rolled down on the floor with a slight but sharp sound, and the piece of jade was held in front of Han Yicheng's eyes by him: "You see clearly, is this an illusion? Am I an illusion?"

Han Yicheng gently stroked the piece of jade with trembling hands, his voice became more choked: "This is...you found it?"

He looked up at Xie Jinian in disbelief, his eyes were so red that it was unbearable to look at him, his voice sounded like a dream: "Are you still looking for it? Are you looking for it?"

"You found it...you take it with you...you want it..." He held the jade tightly with trembling hands, covering his heart, "you want it..."

Xie Jinian tightly closed his lips, breathing chaotically, and did not answer.

"There is still a ring..." Han Yicheng looked down on the ground, "Is it the ring I proposed to you? You carried it, and you didn't throw it away?"

Xiao He hurried over, found the ring that had fallen from the floor, picked it up and handed it to Han Yicheng.

He thought for a while, pulled the doctor back to the entrance.

Han Yicheng took the ring and looked at it carefully, the brilliance in his eyes became more and more clear.It was as if the life that had been emptied was all accompanied by the arrival of Xie Jinnian, the piece of jade that he pawned when he was a child to let Xie Jinnian see his mother for the last time, and the ring that he thought Xie Jinnian had thrown away long ago. Bit by bit, it was re-injected into the soul marrow.

With that fleeting reliance, he mustered up his courage: "Qiqi, you keep them. Then you...you get married..."

He looked straight at Xie Jinian, his hands were trembling, his Adam's apple was trembling, and the water in his eyes was also trembling, as if he was waiting for the final verdict in his life.