Xianmen does not ask about the mundane

Seeing Du Yuehua slap his chest, Qiu Yan suddenly opened his eyes, and suddenly woke up from the bed.He was still in shock for a moment, closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to slow down, then opened his eyes again, staring at the strange top of the bed in front of him in a daze.

Why is it not Xuanqing Mountain? Where is this place?

He felt a little puzzled, and wanted to get up to see what was going on. As soon as he got up, he suddenly felt a piercing pain in his side, and before his head was completely off the pillow, he fell back again, and it took him a while to recover. Come on.

Didn't I get hit on the chest by Du Yuehua's palm? Why does my side hurt so much?

He felt strange in his heart, recalling the last scene before he fainted, it was indeed good that he was injured by Du Yuehua, but thinking about the image of two people kneeling beside him pressing his side suddenly appeared in his mind for some reason. The time is a little uncertain.

Qiu Yan was full of suspicion, and wanted to lift the quilt to see what was going on with his injury, but found that he couldn't move his left hand, and his wrist seemed to be locked.

He turned his head to look suspiciously, only to find that there was a person lying on his stomach next to him, his face could not be seen, only the hair on the top of his head was exposed, but it was inexplicably familiar.

At first, Qiu Yan felt his head was in a mess, but after seeing this hair spin, his mood inexplicably calmed down, and he stopped thinking about those things that gave him headaches, and even had the desire to touch this person's hair spin by accident. impulse.

He was taken aback by his sudden thought. He didn't know why he was interested in the hair of a person who didn't know the details. He struggled for a while, but he still couldn't suppress the impulse in his heart. Active right hand.

He lightly touched the man's hairpin with his fingertips, and a strange feeling arose in his heart.But when the momentary impulse was fulfilled, he suddenly felt dissatisfied, and wanted to touch his hair again, as if he often did this action, and it had become a habit of his unconsciously.

Qiu Yan hesitated for a moment, then spread his palms and covered his hair, gently brushing his hair, not wanting to be awakened by this slight movement.

"...Brother?"

The person in the dream moved and muttered in a daze.

For some reason, Qiu Yan felt inexplicably sad when he heard this babble, and quickly withdrew his hand.Unexpectedly, the man woke up and propped himself up, revealing a face he was most familiar with.

Ah Yuan?Why does something seem wrong...

Qiu Yan hesitated for a moment, and was about to call out to him when he happily moved over.

"Ayan! Ayan, you are awake, how do you feel, does the wound hurt?"

This title awakened Qiu Yan suddenly like a bolt from the blue, and the experience before coma flooded him like a tide in an instant, causing him a splitting headache, ignoring the pain of the tearing wound, clutching his head and struggling in pain stand up.

Seeing this, Zhu Lingyou hurriedly stepped forward to hold him down, seeing him frowning in pain and panting heavily, his hands trembling with distress, he hurriedly called the doctor's name, but for some reason there was no response.

"Ayan, Ayan, hold back a little bit and don't move, I'll call the doctor right away."

As Zhu Lingyou said, she turned her head and was about to go out to find Langzhong, but Qiu Yan grabbed her and refused to let her go.

At this time, Qiu Yan's mind was still in chaos. This move was completely out of subconsciousness, so he didn't say a word after catching him. On the contrary, Zhu Lingyu was in a dilemma. It was neither good nor bad to go. , can only sit back on the bed and hold his shoulders to prevent him from moving around and causing secondary damage to the wound, while slowly sending spiritual power to him, trying to relieve his pain.

It is nothing new for Qiu Yan to act as Qi Zuo in his dreams. He has had such an experience almost every night since he entered Taoism, but he has never been too involved, and has always been a bystander. I look at things from different perspectives, so I have never been confused between dreams and reality.

But this time he was in a coma due to a serious injury, and he uncontrollably experienced too long in his dream.Even though he was able to stay awake at the beginning and knew that he was in a dream, as time went by, he gradually became substituted for Qi Zun's feelings, and later he spent most of his life from Qi Zun's perspective, almost thinking that he was in a dream. He was himself, and even after waking up from a dream, he still couldn't distinguish reality for a while, until he was awakened by Zhu Lingyu just now.

Too many pictures filled his mind, which made Qiu Yan a little confused which memory belonged to Qi Zuo and which memory belonged to him.After finally recovering himself from the chaotic memory, he found that he could no longer look at Zhu Lingyu with the same way of thinking as before.

Zhu Lingyu saw that the other person had calmed down, but his brows were still slightly frowned, and a thin layer of sweat appeared on his forehead, so he reached out and wiped him carefully with his cuff, and asked worriedly: "Ayan, how do you feel?" So, are you feeling better?"

Qiu Yan didn't know how to face him. He originally made up his mind not to look at him, but he couldn't help it when he heard the voice. After hesitating, he opened his eyes, but when he saw the person in front of him, he was obviously familiar but seemed a little strange Looking at his face, thinking about the various emotions he saw in the dream, he felt a little complicated, and inexplicably felt a little resistance, and hurriedly lowered his eyes and looked away, and quietly let go of the hand holding him.

Zhu Lingyu felt his heart tighten for no reason, and felt that he couldn't let him go, so he grabbed his hand with his backhand, but unexpectedly, Qiu Yan didn't even look at him, and just pulled his hand away.

Zhu Lingyou is used to Qiu Yan's eyes always sticking to his body and following him. He never thought that one day he would hide from him like this. In his ear, condescendingly occupying his entire field of vision, looking straight at him and asking: "What are you hiding?"

Qiu Yan didn't expect him to be so tough, panic flashed in his eyes for a moment, but then he calmed down quickly, turned his eyes away and said indifferently: "I don't, senior brother is too worried."

Zhu Lingyu: "Then why don't you dare to look at me?"

Chou Yan was trapped in his arms, and there seemed to be a thousand seas of flames tormenting in his heart, but he didn't dare to show it, for fear that if he couldn't hold it, it would all erupt and burn his heart to ashes from the beginning to the end. Tooth refused to answer.

Seeing his avoidance, Zhu Lingyu couldn't help thinking of what happened that night in Xixing Pavilion, and couldn't help being a little impatient: "What's wrong with you? Is there anything you can't tell me?"

Qiu Yan knew that he would not give up if he didn't answer in this state, so he could only answer casually: "There is nothing that cannot be said, but there is nothing to say."

"But that night..."

"Nothing happened that night."

"...Do you have to talk to me like this?"

Zhu Lingyu's tone was too sad, Qiu Yan couldn't help tightening his five fingers, almost unable to restrain his surging emotions, he was silent for a long time before he said inaudibly: "Brother, don't force me okay."

Zhu Lingyu felt a pain in his heart when he saw his ashen face.

The last time Qiu Yan got into trouble with him like this was when he just discovered Du Yuehua's trace. At that time, Zhu Lingyou didn't understand why there was such a big gap between him and Qiu Yan. He obviously felt that Qiu Yan cared about him very much. This senior, he also attaches great importance to this senior, and he doesn't understand why the person who had nothing to say is suddenly so unfamiliar.

It wasn't until Liu Jing's words woke him up that he realized that he really seemed to care a little too much about avenging Qi Zuo, and ignored Qiu Yan's feelings.

After that, he wanted to make up for Qiu Yan, but he didn't expect that such a thing would happen suddenly before he had time, and he almost lost that opportunity forever.But it was only after that incident that Zhu Lingyuan realized that he had already valued Qiu Yan more than he thought.

These days, he has been staying close to the bed, using up the most patience and care in his life to take care of him, just to make Qiu Yan wake up as soon as possible and tell him how much he values ​​him, but when he wakes up, Push yourself away and don't want to tell him anything.

Looking at Qiu Yan's frown that was always slightly frowned, Zhu Lingyou couldn't help but think of the time when he just rescued him from Jiang Jinyue who was possessed by the demon, at that time he frowned in pain like this, and closed his eyes tightly. Looking at it, Zhu Lingyu once suspected that he would never wake up like that.

But now day and night hoped that he would wake up with great difficulty, but he still frowned like this.

Why does Ayan look so painful?

Zhu Lingyou thought for no reason in a trance.

What can I do to make it less painful for him?

"Can you," Zhu Lingyu wanted to ask him, but as soon as he said it, as if he had a premonition of the answer, his throat suddenly choked up, and he was almost speechless, "Can you at least tell me ,Why?"

Qiu Yan's fingertips dug tightly into his palm, refusing to respond.

"……Because of me?"

Qiu Yan still didn't answer, but Zhu Lingyu had already got the answer from his silence.

He felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave in an instant, and his body and mind were completely cold from the inside out.

It turned out that he had been chasing and questioning Qiu Yan for so long, but in the end he was the one who caused Qiu Yan's pain.

Then what am I still forcing him to do?

Zhu Lingyou thought almost sadly, just when he was about to let go of the shackles on Chou Yan in despair, he suddenly heard Chou Yan say: "If I say——"

His eyelashes moved slightly, as if he had been struggling deep in his heart, then his throat moved up and down, and he looked up into Zhu Lingyou's eyes.

"If I said that I wasn't the one who cried that night in Xixing Pavilion, would you believe me?"

"……What's the meaning?"

"Senior brother, have you never thought about where the abundant spiritual power I had when I first entered the Tao came from? Senior brother, that is not innate spiritual power at all, it was sacrificed to me by Qi Zuo before his death."

Zhu Lingyou looked at him suspiciously, as if she didn't understand what he was talking about.

"You misunderstood it from the beginning. He didn't leave the chalcedony to me because he wanted you to save me." Qiu Yan pointed at his heart, "He wanted to tell you that he is here."

"The reason why I have been unable to enter the Tao for a long time is not because of lack of comprehension, but because Qi Zuo knew that Du Yuehua would find you sooner or later, so he deliberately suppressed me to enter the Tao, and wanted me to maintain my mortal body to protect you. I can The reason why I mastered the spiritual power so quickly after entering the Tao was not because of my extraordinary talent, but because I had read his memories in my dreams long ago, and practiced as Qi Zuo for several springs and autumns. On the night of Xixing Pavilion, because Senior brother missed Qi Zuo too much, and he was the one who shed tears."

"Brother, don't you understand why I didn't want to avenge him? At first, I was very grateful to him. He tried his best to protect you even if he left only a wisp of soul after his death. Without him, I wouldn't be able to escape from Du Yuehua's hands." Bring you back intact. But I can't see senior brother always talking about him, and wanting to avenge him regardless of his life, I want senior brother to see me as the only one."

"But until today, I found that I have been stuck in his memory for too long, and I can no longer tell which one is me."

Little by little, he revealed what had been hidden in his heart for too long, every word was bloody.

"I'm looking at senior brother now, and at the same time, I'm grateful that I can live in another way and continue to be with senior brother, and at the same time, I'm full of jealousy because my senior brother is full of thinking about another person. I don't know whether Qi Zuo's consciousness is still It didn't go away in my body, or I became him myself."

"I don't even know whether my feelings for senior brother are my own or just influenced by his consciousness from the beginning to the end. My mind is in a mess, and I don't even know who I am, but I can't let you go."

Seeing Zhu Lingyou's astonished face, he didn't say a word for a long time, and suddenly smiled self-deprecatingly.

"Brother, is it because I dare not look at you now, or you dare not look at me?"