escape and return

I seem to be unable to accept your favor and concern. I have grown up so much, and the relationship between us seems to have never eased. I seem to be used to it, although I have longed for your approval.Now, your showing of kindness makes me very scared. I am afraid that I will owe you some love because of your kindness to me. I am also afraid that your kindness to me is purposeful.

You may not know that whenever others want to treat me well, I always think about what to do, even if we are relatives.I think, maybe I don't have the ability to be loved, and I also lack some ability to love others, but I still want to love others, and I also long to be loved.

I don't know what kind of mood you will feel every time you think of my son, will you have a little bit of pride and pride?What I want to say is that if there is, I will be very happy, at least you can satisfy me once in a while where I can't see.Of course, if not, that's okay, it's always been like this, I'm used to it.Anyway, I didn't do very well either.

I have never called your mother in front of you. From childhood to adulthood, the time we have been together has not exceeded a year. This fragile family relationship makes me feel precarious every time, and it can be broken at any time. Although this Not the reason I don't call you mom.For me, it's hard, just like asking you to praise me in front of me, forget it, I don't know what I'm talking about, so you just think I'm talking nonsense, writing this letter to you is not There is no other meaning. I had a stomach full of things I wanted to say before I wrote it, but at this moment, I suddenly started to worry again. I guess that when I really spit out a bunch of words in my heart, you will be sad The possibility, maybe this possibility is very low, but I still give up softly, I don't want to hurt anyone.

Yesterday you said you wanted me to graduate and come back to work, and you wanted to hand over Fang Sheng to my care as if you were telling future generations. To be honest, I was very angry. You love him so much, why don't you work hard to live longer?If you really love him, you should let him learn to take care of himself, learn to survive, and learn to integrate into this society. After all, he is only different from ordinary people in some aspects. Have you ever thought that maybe you will change him into become like this?

I can only say now that I can't reply to you, because my own life is not so good. I can't live for you all my life. If you brought me back for this, it would have taken great pains. Treat me a little better before, and I might have promised you immediately last night.

Or, you can ask Fang Sheng what he means, he actually has his own thinking, as his mother, I think you should trust him, instead of classifying him as mentally retarded from the bottom of your heart, thinking that he needs Taking care of others, I feel that he needs you to arrange everything for him. I think your opinion of him in your heart is a kind of unfairness to him. Even if you love him so much, it makes him a little sad. Otherwise, he wouldn't have secretly made money without telling you last time.

If you brought me back just to pave the way for Fang Sheng, then I think you have found the wrong person, and I don't want to be your pawn.It also came out of your stomach, did you ever think that I would be sad too?

Forget it, I won't tell you this either.I'm still not used to living at home, so you don't have to be angry, anyway, your body is yours, may you be healthy!

When Lin Fenghong saw the letter, Fangge had already left with her luggage.Fang Sheng happened to be at Fang Lei's place these few days, and Fang Ge didn't see him when he came home from vacation.He and Yuan Song squeezed the train from the school all the way to the provincial capital. The train was full of seats, and even the aisles were full of people. Many migrant workers did not have a ticket. They crowded in the aisle and stood for several hours. When I meet some kind-hearted people, I will let them sit down and have a rest.Fangge and Yuan Song never imagined such a scene, the small carts on the train could not move forward at all, and it was difficult for them to even go to the toilet.

Yuan Song asked the conductor several times if there were any vacant berths, but without exception, there were none until they got off the train.In this way, the two of them stayed in the bunk carriage for two days. During the day, Fangge liked to look at the scenery outside the window. He could keep staring at the landscape and countryside that flashed by outside the window without blinking. At night, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Yes, leaning against the car window and dozing off.Yuan Song moved his brother's head to his shoulder and let him sleep on his own. He tried his best to maintain an upright posture and tried to make Fangge lean more comfortably. Then he closed his eyes and dozed off.

There are too many people on the train, and the long-time ride makes everyone tired and sleepy. Some migrant workers just spread a few newspapers or sacks under the seats and lie down to sleep.In the middle of the night, Fangge's head deviated from Yuan Song's shoulder, and he woke up suddenly without support. He opened his eyes in a daze to look at the surrounding environment, and then looked at Yuan Song beside him. Yuan Song's head kept tilting. On his side, he turned to Fang Ge in a short while.

Fangge adjusted his sitting posture. His knees were sore and painful because he had been in one position for a long time, but the space here was really limited. Before he stretched out half an inch, he encountered obstacles. The man on the opposite side was lying in front of him. He fell asleep on the small table next to him, and his legs almost touched the grid.Fangge craned his neck to look around again. There were other people’s luggage under his feet, which blocked his path tightly, and there was no place to stretch out. knee.He didn't know that the Spring Festival travel shown on TV was considered light, but the Spring Festival travel in real life can reach this level.

Yuan Song seemed to be dreaming of something delicious, smacked his lips, and lightly rubbed Fangge's shoulder.Fang Ge lowered his eyes to look at him, and grinned.When he looked away and looked up, he suddenly met a pair of women's eyes, he immediately withdrew the corners of his mouth and coughed lightly.The woman looked a bit like Lin Fenghong, her eyes were red from the hard journey, her face was sallow, and her thin body was leaning tightly on the seat cushion. She had no seat, and she stood there with her hands clasped for an unknown how long.The carriage is quiet and quiet, full of wanderers who are struggling on the journey.

Fangge couldn't bear it, he glanced at the woman again, the woman looked a little embarrassed, she looked away, after a while, she simply put her hands on the top of the cushion, pressed her forehead against it, and was about to make do with it like this Take a little sleep.

"Song Song, sit in a little bit." Fang Ge half stood up with his knees bent, supported Yuan Song's head with one hand, and passed through Yuan Song's knee with the other, trying to move him to the window seat , wanting to give his own position to Yuan Song, but his posture is not very smooth, he can't use his strength, and he is sweating all over himself after moving for a long time.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Yuan Song murmured while half asleep and half awake, he was really sleepy, so he straightened his body, patted the seat beside him to signal Fangge to sit down quickly.

"Song Song, sit down a bit, take my seat, let's change seats."

"Oh~" Yuan Song moved his butt obediently, sat on Fangge's seat, glanced at Fangge in a daze, closed his eyes and fell asleep.His knees were against Fangge's legs, and Fangge's feet couldn't stand anymore. He stretched out his hands to support the small table behind him, stretched his long legs over the obstacle under his feet, and came directly to the woman. .

"Sister, sit down for a while, I see you are tired." The woman glanced at Fang Ge in surprise, and then seemed to react, speaking a dialect to thank Fang Ge.Fang Ge nodded to her and took her place.Sitting for too long, his thighs were a little swollen and blood circulation was poor.He moved his feet, ready to shake his legs, suddenly stretched out a foot from under the seat, startled Fang Ge, and the man was lying on the small dark and cramped space between the cushion and the ground. space.Fang Ge put down his legs silently, picked up the gap and stood there, with mixed emotions in his heart.

There are all kinds of things in the world, and everyone has their own difficulties, but everyone is working hard to live.

There was a new person beside him, and Yuan Song seemed to have noticed it. He moved his nose, but a second before his head tilted away, he suddenly woke up!His eyes were wide open, he looked at the elder sister beside him with closed eyes, and quickly raised his head to search for his brother, and when he looked up, he saw Fangge standing in the aisle diagonally opposite him, leaning on the back of the cushion Get straight.

"Brother?" He called softly, and Fang Ge immediately turned his head to look at him. The distance between the two was only three or five steps, but it seemed that they were separated by a long, long distance. "Come and sit here." After saying that, he said To stand up.

"Sit there, sleep on your stomach for a while, wake up and take my place." Fangge stopped Yuan Song in a low voice, and waved him to sit down, "My legs can't take it anymore, I have to stand for a while."

"Oh, then remember to call me later brother, I will replace you later." Yuan Song lay down on the small table to hurry up and sleep.

The woman sat there for about two or three hours, and then returned the seat to them. After a while, Fangge watched her pick up the big and small bags and was about to get off the car. Before leaving, he said goodbye to the Fangge brothers. , said that these two young men are really nice, and they look good, both of them were a little embarrassed, their cheeks were stained with a layer of blush, making people look even rarer, and everyone around them followed the woman's words to look at the two .

After finally getting to Hangzhou, both of their legs were a little swollen. Many people got out of the car on the way, and the carriage was a little empty. The two of them sat in their seats, patting their legs, just , Seeing that he was about to arrive in Hangzhou, Yuan Song couldn't help frowning because he didn't see any movement from his brother.

"Brother, it's almost time to get off the bus!"

Only then did Fangge make a move.He was just thinking about whether he needed to go back to Fang's house.

He stayed at Yuan's house for two days, and Lin Fenghong called. She made several calls in a row, calling herself, asking Fang Jianguo to call, and then asking Fang Sheng to call. He packed up his luggage, greeted Yuan Tang in a hurry, and rushed to the train station.Yuan Song snatched his luggage with one hand, and sent him to the station with a sullen face and silently.

He has a lot of complaints and temperament towards the other family. This family always comes and goes at his brother's call. Obviously, there is no place for his brother in that family. When he went last time, he saw it at a glance. It's all over, although it is said to be his brother's home, there is no trace of his brother's life.

"Okay, don't be so sad, I'll come again." Fangge tugged at Yuan Song's cheek, trying to pull the corner of his mouth upward.

Yuan Song frowned, and responded with a muffled "Yes".

However, what he didn't expect was that his brother really meant what he said this time, and he came back within a few days.