[Yuanshen] After full favorability, the dimension wall is broken

Chapter of Abedo's Invitation to Cinnabar

Act V The meaning of meaningless existence

……

"For man, the earth and life are very heavy."

"If you want to become as light as a swallow—"

"—You have to love yourself first."

……

When Abedo handed the painting to you, you were so impulsive that you wanted to leave your work and go to a special shop to frame the painting first.

In fact, you have always thought that Mr. Abedo is a realist—er, sometimes it is a bit abstract realist; in short, in your impression, most of the paintings drawn by Abedo are in line with reality.

"...Artistic processing is an important part of art. This sentence is not that you are different from the painting, but that you have presented different styles of beauty. The basis of the painting is still you."

On the snow mountain, Abedo said to you with a faint smile on his face after finishing the painting "Mona Paimon's Smile".

However, in this painting, the bare branches of the magnolia tree that has not yet bloomed are full of white flowers.

Hmm... This kind of flower is definitely not a magnolia; but, I seem to have seen it somewhere...?

Under the tree, a girl with loose long hair was sitting on a chair.Although she looked a little nervous and her body was a little stiff and straight, she relaxed when she smiled at the person in front of her.

Eh……?At that time, it seemed that I was so nervous... Hehe.

And the close view closest to the painting is the painter who cannot see the face clearly.

It is clearly a close-up, but the painter is just a rather blurred back.The figure is simple, the color is simple, and the long platinum hair is a blur of light and shadow; however, the artist's hands are depicted in considerable detail.

He is drawing on the picture book with a paintbrush in his hand, but the content of the painting is just a blooming flower that is almost the same as the flower on the tree, occupying the entire canvas.

Abedo has painted many people.

About the sky and the sea; about strange-looking plants, animals, even slimes and Qiuqiu people; about things that really happened and things that haven't happened in legends.

Confident in his painting skills, he calmly observes the world.

However, he still remembers that when he showed his painting to that woman for the first time, there was a feeling in his heart that did not fit or belong to him——

- He was a little "nervous".

Abedo had been exploring with her for as long as he could remember.She taught him alchemy and knowledge of countless worlds, and taught him to calmly watch the never-ending birth and death in this world with a scholar's eye.

She has always been so cold, except for the day when he showed her his painting for the first time.

——"Is it a painting made out of your own ideas?"

After getting an affirmative answer, those always cold and serious faces suddenly relaxed.For the first time, she squatted down and rubbed the top of his head, who was still young:

"Then, keep this feeling and continue drawing."

However, the "mood" at that time is no longer there.

After all, "mood"... what is it?

"How do you like it?"

He heard his own voice sluggishly.

The gears of the instrument slowly rotated and engaged, and his body was tensed like a string.

"I like it very much!" The girl hugged the painting tightly and turned around, her eyes sparkled, "The light and shadow are very good, the flowers are beautiful, especially—"

She showed a big smile: "——It's the first time I saw Abedo draw himself. Oh, it's very touching, it's a pity not to draw more."

Abedo was stunned.

...This feeling, what is it...?

You opened your eyes suddenly and realized what you just said—oh my God—this is not a forum or a place where you shout "Mr. Abedo, my wife of fate" with relatives and friends!you actually...

Just when you regretted and began to draw circles in your heart, suddenly, the boy in front of you showed a sincere smile.

The corners of his mouth curled up, and he has been observing the world calmly, his ice-like eyes are like melting clouds, and his platinum hair has become soft and warm:

"Thank you, I'm glad."

"...Ah, that! The next, the next event is the exhibition hall!" You stumbled and interrupted a strange atmosphere that you didn't know how to describe, "I just read the information, and there is a very worthwhile reference The exhibition about the epidemic is on display! Let's go, let's go, it's almost too late!"

"Traveler, lunch..."

"—I, I ate too much in the morning! Lunch is—"

Of course, in the end, Mr. Abedo pressed you to go home after knowing the specific time of the exhibition.

"It's better not to skip lunch," Abedo stood in the kitchen, his ice-blue eyes slightly lowered, while flipping through the recipes you bought to collect shipping costs, while skillfully putting the chopped ingredients into the pot, " not good for health."

"Know-know-" You secretly made a face, "Mr. Abedo!"

There seems to be a chuckle coming from the kitchen, but when you look again, you only see the serious figure of Abedo.

You: "..." Someone laughed just now, right?

After lunch, you rested for a while, checked the time, and walked towards the exhibition hall.After checking tickets and taking body temperature, you walked in with the sparse crowd.

It has to be said that when the line of thinking was changed, the materials came one after another.You took a lot of photos along the way, the ones that were not easy to take, the ones that were too messy, and anyway, there were no people on weekdays, so you just found a chair and wrote down your thoughts directly in a notebook.Before I knew it, it was almost four o'clock in the afternoon after visiting the entire exhibition hall.

You rubbed your head, secretly blaming yourself for repeating the old habit of turning your back on the outside world when you were immersed in your own world at the beginning.Fortunately, when you found Abedo, he seemed very interested, and was drawing something in his sketchbook.

"It's you." Before you could call him, Abedo turned his head and smiled at you gently.

You approached him, and apologized a little embarrassedly: "I'm sorry, I'm immersed in my own world again..."

Abedo shook his head: "It's okay, as long as it helps your work. I'm here, it doesn't make any difference, just follow your pace."

That's what I said...but it's really difficult to do it.

You secretly stuck out your tongue.

"Traveler, I'm more curious. What is the strategy here to achieve such an effect..."

So, while you searched for information on the Internet, you got together with Abedo and answered his many questions earnestly.

"Huh..." You took a sip of water, with a teasing smile, "I didn't expect that Mr. Abedo would be so interested in such an "ordinary" thing. "

Abedo smiled: "Ordinary? I don't think it is ordinary."

"Huh?" You thought that Abedo, who was born of a miracle himself, would have a higher standard for "ordinary".

"In the face of a population that is highly contagious, has no clear treatment measures, has a certain fatality rate, and has a large number of mobility, it is actually able to control the panic, take timely and decisive measures to appease the public, control the spread, and develop related solutions. Plan..." Abedo looked around the exhibition hall, and stated his point of view lightly, "I'm afraid these things are definitely not within the category of "ordinary", right? "

You are silent for a moment.

……yes.

To be able to have such a today, how many sacrifices and tears are behind it?

"The fundamental thing that attracts people is life. Life may exist in various unexpected forms in various incredible environments. Mysterious but tenacious... perhaps this is its ultimate point." Abedo stopped The last stroke in the sketchbook, looking up at you, "Many "ordinary" but constitute a "miracle", is the beauty of life? "

After you came out of the exhibition hall, you were still immersed in what Abedo said just now.Not only for the touch it brings to you, but also to record the complex throbbing mood at this time.

You want to convey this feeling to everyone.

Just when you leaned against the wall and took out a notepad to write down your inspiration, the staff suddenly came over enthusiastically: "Hello, how can I help you?"

You froze for two seconds, then quickly waved your hand politely: "It's okay, it's okay, thank you."

It is said that I obviously did not speak, but suddenly came over and asked myself "Is there anything you need", usually later——

In your vigilant eyes, the staff didn't change their expression, even the arc of their smile didn't change: "Look at what you and that gentleman have been remembering all the time, you must be interested in our art exhibition here?"

—Look, I say.

You are a rational consumer, and you will never bow down for this marketing method——

——So, you and Abedo stood at the gate of the art exhibition with two tickets.

No, no way!Going to the art exhibition with Abedo is one of the things listed in many Beichu's "Things I Want To Do With Abedo Most" list!

However, the exhibition ticket money is really worth it.Although it does not help you with your task this time, on the one hand, the landscape paintings and portrait paintings mainly displayed are not particularly abstract and require artistic literacy—in short, they are all understandable and intuitive. "Oh, what a beautiful" painting; on the one hand, Abedo seems to be very interested in this place, which makes you breathe a sigh of relief.

In other words, isn't the work a little bit tight this year?Why do you work every time when everyone is away, and change places when everyone comes? !

While walking, complaining inwardly, you suddenly saw Abedo standing there in a daze, looking at a huge painting.

You... have never seen Abedor like this.

He was said to be courteous and refined, showing just the right amount of sincerity and kindness to the world.He is always calm, always reserved, like a frozen lake, looks gentle, but always maintains a proper distance.

However, at this moment, Abedo seemed to be like that...

……confused.

Under the huge painting, it is marked with a simple sign:

"The Meaning of Life" - HX Yilu Sefu

——"What is the meaning of the existence that is obsessed with finding meaning?"

This is the only abstract painting.There are various colors laid out on it, and large areas of white paint are applied to cover the original colors.

"...Abedo?" You straightened up, calling out the name of the person in front of you with a hint of doubt, "What's wrong with this painting...?"

"...Traveler, can you please answer a question for me?" Abedo paused, and asked in a calm voice.

Although you don't quite understand what happened, you still nodded seriously: "You say."

"Do you think……"

"...What is the meaning of life?"

……

——"You have traveled a lot on the journey, next, I hope you can answer me a question."

The woman with a vague face picked up the embers after the experiment, and with just a light grip, the ashes turned into light and white dandelions.It held the umbrella lightly, as if it wanted to fly into the distance.

Abedo silently looked at the figure of Dandelion.

The "life" created in this way, even the seemingly free will of "wanting to fly far away", is nothing more than a set "program".

——“For you, what is the meaning of life?”

"Understanding all the mysteries and wisdom in the world," he hesitated for a moment, then replied lightly, "Measure the land with your own feet, turn the "unknown" into knowledge, and know the "truth of the world." "

He answered her with the most sincere words, but she just looked at him steadily with dim eyes.Just when he thought what would happen, she just sighed softly and announced the next topic.

He knew that the answer at that time disappointed Master.

However, he didn't understand, this is obviously what the master who has been teaching him is looking for, why the master is not satisfied with his answer?

You never expected that what traps Abedo...is actually such a question full of philosophical significance.

You really want to give an answer to solve Abedo's confusion... Uh, unfortunately you are not very good at philosophy...

——Okay, I'm very bad at it.

To be honest, most of the time, you are thinking "please life is already tired, why should you think about it, just be happy" or something like that...

After that, Abedo fell into silence, as if the temporarily thawed lake had frozen again.His ice blue eyes are still cold, but mixed with many expressions that you can't understand.

You couldn't help asking: "Abedo... are you okay?"

He seemed to be taken aback for a moment, then woke up from his own thoughts, turned his head to show you his usual smile: "...I really want to answer you "I'm fine". "There was a bit of bitterness in his smile, "But you are my important...friend, I should be honest with you. "

"I once said that if you want to know something, you can ask me, and I won't hide it from you. But I also said that I don't intend to lie to you, so I have been avoiding some things. ——If one thing even I can't be sure about the result. Such imprecise speculation, I think, hastily discussing with you before drawing the basic conclusion will bring you far more troubles than benefits. So, let me do some more research and clarify myself I'll tell you later."

Although Abedo said "Don't worry about me" and "Just continue with your original schedule"...but...but no matter how you look at it, Abedo's current state is super worrying!

"Abedo, can I ask you to accompany me to another place?"

After leaving the venue, you paused, you said so.

The pair of azure blue eyes with a hint of surprise and inquiry turned to you, but before the curious eyes asked their doubts, its owner nodded slightly.

He said, "Okay."

At seven o'clock in the evening, you stood at the door of the hospital.Wearing a mask tightly, you huddled in the corner of the hall where the cold wind passed through, shivering from the cold.

Help... help, you're already starting to regret it.

Does this count as dedicating oneself to art...

——I even started to shudder when I complained in my head...

Just when you kept regretting in your mind, Abedo still didn't say a word.He neither approves nor condemns, but puts your clothes on you without saying a word.

Seeing that you were still shivering from the cold, he hesitated for a moment, then asked in a low voice: "Do you mind... if I hold your hand?"

you:"……"

"..."

"...?!"

You feel that you are not cold at all, your face is so hot that you can fry an egg.

Abedo looked at your face and couldn't help but chuckled: "In the manufacture of handicrafts, there is a process called "refining".And "Red Success" in alchemy is such a stage. "

You stared blankly at the red color of Abedo's palm, and then looked up at the pair of lake-like eyes that seemed to be so calm and silent forever.

"Abedo, don't you always describe yourself as a handicraft or an alchemy creation?" You frowned, "You are my important friend, not some glass bottle."

But Abedo just smiled gently and stretched out his hand to you.

You opened your mouth, a little angry, but you couldn't get angry, so you held Abedo's hand in a fit of anger.He smiled at you leniently, and let you pull him, still silently lost in thought.

very warm.

If Abedo didn't emphasize it, you wouldn't have guessed that it was the warmth produced by "alchemy creation".It's really like how you feel when you hold hands with a good friend in the cold winter and smile together in the cold winter...

Just like that, you sat quietly in the corner, watching the people coming and going in the hospital.You are taking photos, writing and drawing in notebooks, while on the other side of your hand, Abedo is like a perfect ice sculpture, his ice-blue eyes seem to have no warmth at all, those who cannot help but because of his appearance The passers-by who cast their gazes frequently were also frightened away by these too cold eyes.

But, you know, Abedo is not a cold-hearted person.

he may just be...

It's just that you haven't found what you really want yet, have you?

after all……

How can a person with such a warm palm have a cold heart?

Combining the materials obtained in the hospital with the materials from the afternoon exhibition, you finally get the complete and ideal prototype of the idea.

The logic is that you should hurry home, turn on your computer, design software, and try to keep those ideas alive while they're still alive.

But at this time, there are more important things to do.

You turned to Abedo seriously: "Abedo, the question you asked before..."

There was a bit of apology in Abedo's expression: "...Sorry, I made you worry. I myself..."

"—I mean," you pursed your lips, and replied in a low voice but firmly, "I think the meaning of life may be meaningless."

"..." Abedo seemed to be stunned.

You were a little embarrassed, but you continued firmly: "...the universe is very big, the earth is very big, and the history is very long, and the existence of the entire human race may be just a momentary breath for the entire time. .Perhaps, the existence of human beings is not shouldering any "task" or "meaning" that must be completed at all, it is an accident in itself?In this case, why bother to pursue the so-called "meaning"? "

Abedor paused, and said in a deep voice: "Living in this world, we vulgar people must search for meaning."

"The meaning of life is blank." You stared at those lake-like eyes stained with bewilderment and sadness, "A seed grows into a tree or a flower, not because the meaning of its existence is "to grow" become a tree or a flower", but an end for themselves. "

"Abedo, you too."

"When Reindort created you, she may have had reasons. However, you are not her "tool", but a real "person", right? You looked at him seriously, "At the beginning, she left you and left behind such a subject because she wanted Abedo to find her own "meaning", right? "

Abedo looked at you blankly: "My own... meaning?"

"I... I'm not very good at this either." You were at a loss for words for a moment, but you directly held his hand with a bit of pleading, "Abedo, I just want to say..."

"I hope you don't live as a "Son of Chalk", but walk around the world as an "Abedo", doing... what you really want to do. "

"It doesn't matter if we can't find meaning for a while, at least we have this moment, don't we?" You gritted your teeth and almost cried, "At least...at least, the warmth of your palm now, the "red color" you said ", isn't it true?We are here, aren't we real? "

Abedo stared blankly at the tears that the girl in front of him was about to shed, and subconsciously wanted to reach out his hand to wipe away her tears.

what……

...Subconsciously...huh.

——"What is the purpose of exploring the truth of the world?"

That day, when they were sitting by the campfire sorting out the ancient relics, he raised his head and summoned up his courage to ask.

She just turned her back to him in silence.

After a few breaths, she replied lightly:

"To find the meaning of life."

She approached the bonfire, and her calm and cold eyes were dyed with flames: "I want to know why life is created if it is destined to be destroyed; In pursuit of the truth."

"Even if you know that the end is destruction, those who know have something to do... That's all." She raised her head, and when her eyes looked at him, a complicated expression appeared for the first time, "...What about you, Abedo? Is there anything you want to do?"

Abedo leaned over to help her pick a big bonfire.He didn't have any emotional fluctuations, as if all this was taken for granted: "My wish is to fulfill your wish."

She didn't say anything, and she didn't show anything.

Until one day, they found a holy relic called "Heart of Naberis" in the depths of the world.Since then, she has disappeared.Only a note, a letter of recommendation and a tome were left.

It's been a long time, but he still remembers it so clearly.

That day, she looked into his eyes and asked again:

——"Abedo, is there anything you want?"

Seeing his expression, she sighed again and shook her head.

……

""Black soil" is the etymology of alchemy, and it is also the original state. "

"Chalk is the beginning of change.Pulled out of impurities, ready to receive all knowledge. "

"You are the Son of Chalk. "

He knew that there are two stages of alchemy, "red" and "gold".

A long time ago, when he asked about this matter, she just said indifferently: "Chalk is the material of the original person. And redness is the refinement of emotion. That is a necessary step for you, but it is also..."

"A step that belongs only to "you". "

——"If one day, you really understand its true meaning..."

——"The world will give you the answer."

He looked at the girl in front of him.

"...When you are red, you will feel warm."

At that time, when she taught him, she showed a rare smile.

"At that time, I will feel the magic and charm of life from the bottom of my heart."

"—It's just that, after these alchemy products are finished, they won't glow with the warmth of when they were made red again."

"However, you are different."

"So, go find it—find the possibility that belongs to you."

she said so.

Master, is this the result you want?

Abedo looked at the girl holding Chicheng in front of him, and smiled involuntarily.

It turned out that Master smiled at that time because he was exposed to such warmth.

"...Thank you, Traveler."

He said.

There are things you know and things you don't know.

I wasn't born this red--

"Chicheng", in alchemy, means the refining of emotions.

——And my red color comes from you.

The author says:

References:

① "For humans, the earth and life are very heavy. If you want to become as light as a swallow, you must first love yourself." - Nietzsche's Collected Works

②The relevant copywriting is based on Abedo's background story and audio data, and the background story has a fictional part based on the original work.

③Look at the meaning of life, don't worry about it.

④ That picture is purely fictional.

谢谢支持！鞠躬！！感谢在2022-01-2111:41:58~2022-01-2211:11:10期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: 1 ghost white;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 5 bottles of Fengmuling; 2 bottles of Jin Xiaoer; 1 bottle of A Tao's Rainbow World;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard! ?