Like a swallow returning to its nest

Gu Yinglan got a headache from Fang Chun's anger, she lay on the bed in the bedroom to rest, Fang Jian pressed her head, Gu Yinglan held her hands and did not speak, Fangzheng sat on the rattan chair by the window, looking at the green trees outside the window Preoccupied.

The gray fog that could never be dispelled had enveloped the house since she was born, and Fang Jian finally realized that she was the source of the gray fog.

Without Fang Jian, the parents' expectations and elder sister can be fulfilled, and the only thing missing in the family is the hand to play the piano on the evening of the New Year's Eve.

There are too many benefits. Organisms with inferior genes don’t have to be born. There is one less mental illness in the world, a lot of food and medical resources are saved, and parents and sisters don’t have to worry about it.

Fang Chun actually wanted to date the person she introduced, Fang Jian really wondered if she was also mentally ill.

To some extent, this elder sister was even crazier than Fang Jian after Fang Jian fell ill.

Fang simply said, "I want to go to my grandparents' house for a while." Then he withdrew his hand and hid it between his thighs, "I'm leaving, and she should go back to her own home, so you can be quiet."

The mother's hands are helpless to keep her, the tears are puffing, and the tears of the old man are always heartbreaking. When a person reaches this age, he should look down on all the joys and sorrows in this world, but he still cannot avoid being sad for his children.

Standing up and walking to the door, looking back at her mother's swollen eyes from tears, Fang Jian felt calm.

This family was made up of tears. When I was a child, it was my own tears, and when I grew up, it was the tears of my parents and sister. Fang Jian, who committed suicide cruelly, had long been immune to their sadness and guilt.

If a person doesn't even love himself, he certainly can't love others.

Putting on the canvas bag, Doudou wagged her tail and sent her to the gate. Fang Jian squatted down and touched its head. Doudou licked the back of her hand. Fang Jian looked up and saw her parents standing side by side by the window on the second floor.

Touching the little dog tied with a pink hair band on the puppy's head, Fang Jian said, "Take care of my parents for me."

This adorable white shih tzu knows how to please people better than people, and he's sure to be up to the task.

Walking out of the house, looking back a hundred meters away, the gray fog has dissipated above the blue and white townhouses.

Fang Jian was in a good mood and walked briskly. Death was her last trump card. Anyway, death came last, so she was fearless in everything.

After the goal is determined, the things to be done will clearly emerge one by one, and they must be completed step by step. There may be changes in the middle, such as death that has been postponed until now.

Shi Tiesheng said: Death is something that does not need to be rushed, and death is a festival that will inevitably come.

So don't worry, just go slowly.

She made an appointment with Xiao Lai near grandma's house, and Fang Jian took a taxi there directly, with a few piles of socks and a small bag of underwear in the canvas bag.

The car drove into the old street with dense tree canopies in the central city, and passed Xiao Lai on the side of the road. Fang Jian didn't recognize her at first sight. The car drove more than 200 meters before she woke up, and hurriedly asked the driver to pull over and get off. The car ran back.

No wonder I didn't recognize him, Xiao Lai didn't wear work clothes today, but changed into a knee-length white cotton skirt, black flat lace-up sandals, his calves were thin and straight, and his skin was obviously two shades lighter than his arms and face.

Xiao Lai brought a bowl of iced porridge, saw Fang Jian's eyes widen in surprise, and raised a spoon from afar to feed her.

Fang Jian trotted over, stretched out his neck before he could stand still, and the two looked at each other with smiling eyes.Xiao Lai laughed at her wet body photos, and Fang Jian laughed at her legs that were not as white as her arms and face.

They asked at the same time: "What are you laughing at?" They shook their heads at the same time without speaking, and continued to laugh.

"Why did you suddenly take a break?" Fang Jian walked slowly side by side with her. The sun was covered by clouds, and the summer dryness was screened by the shade of the trees. The wind was blowing from the other side of the street, which was rare in summer. a fine day.

An unprepared and well-timed date.

Xiao Lai was woken up by her roommate, "They went to drink after get off work, and somehow they didn't come back until [-] o'clock. I just saw your news, and it happened that I haven't rested for a long time, so I'll be with you."

Fang Jian nodded, and led her to the old community of grandma's house, unconsciously bringing her into the family and life that had been deliberately concealed.

At this time, she realizes that that home is not decent enough for her. It has nothing to do with status or wealth, and it cannot provide a bed for sleeping when she is tired. What qualifications does it have to call it a home?

"My grandpa has bipolar disorder and is an old mental patient, but you don't have to be afraid. He has gotten better over the years, and he has become Buddhist when he gets old. My grandma is a very good person. She will definitely like you very much. of."

"Do you know about bipolar disorder?" Fang Jian said, "It's mania and depression that alternate. The depression usually lasts for more than two weeks, and the mania lasts for more than one week. Although it's a mental illness, most of the time it's like a normal person, not a lunatic. , and would not take a knife to hack on the street, this disease is mainly caused by the suffering of the sick person himself.”

Xiao Lai nodded ignorantly, Fang Jian shook her hand, looked sideways at her, "Are you afraid?"

"Didn't you say that the sick person is tortured by himself? I have nothing to be afraid of."

"But... the patient's emotions will inevitably affect those around him, such as family, friends, and spouse."

"Sick." Xiao Lai expressed understanding, "Who wants to be sick?"

Fang Jian secretly observed Xiao Lai's reaction. Xiao Lai raised his neck and poured the remaining half of the ice porridge in the paper bowl into his mouth. The paper bowl was thrown into the roadside trash can. He licked his lips up and down with his tongue, and suddenly stopped. "What are you looking at me for? Is there something in my mouth?"

"No...you look good." Fang Jian said.

She took out her mobile phone and used the screen to shine a light on her face. She smiled with satisfaction, showing a row of small white teeth, and straightened the skirt. "Part-time jobs are annoying, but you can't wear your own clothes."

Xiao Lai didn't respond, and didn't ask any more questions. Grandpa's bipolar disorder is no different from diabetes and high blood pressure that ordinary elderly people suffer from.

Two people walked into the large iron gate of the community hand in hand. It was a six-story residential building in the last century, with blue-gray exterior walls and dark blue single-layer glass windows. Grandma Fang Jian’s house was easy to find. A nearly three-meter-long crab claw hung from the roof. Orchid, a large piece of green can be seen from a long distance.

"My grandpa was very fierce when he was manic, but my grandma was even more fierce. When she lost her temper, my grandpa would immediately turn off the fire, but she doesn't lose her temper very often now." Taking care of the mentally ill for several years can sharpen people's character .

Falling in love with a mentally ill person, giving birth to a child, and staying with her for the rest of her life are even more extraordinary feats. Grandma is a god-like existence in Fang Jian's heart.

Hey, hey, hey, he climbed up to the sixth floor, but there was no knock on the door, and the landline at home couldn't get through. Fang Jian took out a key from grandma's black cotton shoes under the shoe rack at the door.

When Fang Jian was a child, her parents did not love her at home, but she was favored by her grandparents, who built a small house for her on the roof of the building.

Fang Jian used the key to open the large silver iron door leading to the roof that had just been painted, and took Xiao Lai to the rooftop.

Looking around, the family on the top of the building grows flowers and vegetables, and the cement bricks are built into squares. They all learned from grandma. When she was young, she was the most powerful in this area. , Carry the soil to the roof of the building, build a house and set up a shed.

The corn stalk on the left hand side of the roof is half a person’s height, and next to it is a tripod made of bamboo poles for green beans and cucumber vines. The little bees are busy among the bright yellow cucumber flowers and butterfly-shaped purple bean flowers. On the right hand side is a pool of green water. A two-meter-square fish pond.

Fang Jian lifted the asbestos tiles that covered half of the fish pond, and Xiao Lai bent down to look in the shadows, "Is there any fish?"

Fang Jian said, "Yes, it's called Xiao Hei, and it's a carp, seven or eight years old."

"Can you live for so long?" Xiao Lai exclaimed.

"Yes, it's a big one. It doesn't like to come out. It stays under the water all the year round. I was in the third grade of junior high school or high school. I don't remember exactly. Anyway, I went to the vegetable market with my grandma to buy it during the Chinese New Year. When I came home, my grandma saw that I was squatting by the basin all the time. Talk to the fish, and put it in the reservoir on the roof to raise it."

"Grandma is so nice."

Fang Jian re-covered the asbestos tiles, leaving a gap two palms wide, and beckoned, "Come and see the hut I used to live in."

Next to a large piece of eggplant seedlings, there is a small house made of cement bricks. The four seasons of wind and rain have eroded it, which has long since lost its original appearance. Push open the decayed wooden door and enter. The horizontal bar is covered with spider plants that can't help drying.

There is a bamboo basket in the corner, a few pairs of plastic sandals, a doll with eyes as big as copper bells in the ghost film, a game console, a spinning top, and a plastic candy jar filled with glass beads.

Time casts an old yellow filter on them, Fang Jian pointed, "Have you ever played?"

They are all toys for children in the city. Xiao Lai said: "I have worn sandals similar to them. I have played spinning tops at school, but I have nothing else."

He dug out a wooden bench from the pile of debris, but couldn't find any paper to pad his buttocks, so Fang Jian simply sat down and patted his thigh, "Then what did you play when you were young?"

Xiao Lai obediently hooked her neck and sat down. Chlorophytum swayed in the wind on the top of her hair, and a small tender leaf seemed to grow from the top of her head, which was extremely cute.

"It's just for children in the countryside to play."

Fang Jian tiptoed her, "What are you playing?"

Xiao Lai counted on his fingers, "Go down to the river to take a bath, catch fish, go up the mountain to pick mushrooms, let the horses and dogs go."

"Let the horse go?"

"Yeah!" Xiao Lai was very proud, "My family has two horses, one big and one small, and three dogs!"

Fang Jian took out her mobile phone from her bag, and clicked on the photos saved in the album to show her, "Is this your horse?"

Xiao Lai probably knew where her photo came from, and said, "It's called Amber. It's a breed that my father went to the farm to bred. It's a pony. Its mother is Baozhu. It's a mature horse."

Xiao Lai also talked about the three dogs in the family, a Xiasi dog, a small dog, and a tabby. They are all very powerful native hunting dogs, named Zhenzhen, Aiai, and Lianlian.

Fang Jian asked, "Then do you always go to school on horseback?"

Xiao Lai said: "I used to ride it when Baozhu was young, but it shitted on the school playground and ate up the thin lawn. I only rode for a few days and the principal wouldn't let me ride it." .”

Fang Jian's eyes widened in surprise, "Really?!"

"Really." Xiao Lai said, "So the little pony is not calm enough, but too lively. It takes five or six years old to become mature."

Later, Xiao Lai told her that he was born on the No.12 Arbor Day in March, but he was born under the sign of Pisces, and his blood type was definitely B. His hometown is Taoshan Town, Taoyang County, and he has a father and an elder brother.

Neither she nor her elder brother was their own, they were picked up by their father.Dad is a forest ranger, and his brother is a soldier. He is very proud of these two unrelated family members in words.

"Did you know?" She tilted her head, raised a finger, and looked very cute when she said excitedly, "I may have a twin sister! But I don't know where it went. Actually, I don't know my sister. Birthday, Dad picked me up on Arbor Day..."

Fang Jian held her calf and listened quietly, her butt was a little numb.The more Xiao Lai talked, the more guilty she became.

She recalled the message she sent to Xiao Lai in the morning, the formal farewell to her parents, and the mood when she left home with her bag on her shoulders. Was she trying to avoid Fang Chun, or really wanted to get closer to her? Why did she sit on the roof of her grandma's house? In the little house came...

"Did you listen to me?" Sensing that she was distracted, Xiao Lai lightly bumped her with his shoulder.

"I'm listening." Fang Jian nodded hurriedly, counting on her fingers, "My birthday is Arbor Day, Pisces, blood type B, a father and an elder brother, neither of them are my own. My hometown is Taoshan Town, Taoyang County, I remember it all .”

"It might be Pisces." Xiao Lai emphasized, "Because I don't know my real birthday."

Fang Jian: "Yes, it may be Pisces."

"What about you?" Lai asked.

Fang Jian was confused, "What am I?"

She lowered her head, her long eyelashes flickering, "I have told you so much, about my father and brother, as well as my horse and dog... I said I like you yesterday, you think about it, then you think about it No ah……"

The author has something to say:

"Death is something that does not need to be rushed, and death is a festival that will inevitably come." ——Shi Tiesheng, "The Temple of Earth and Me"