Kaka is a cat?

When she came to the Echizen house, she still called out gently and politely, "Ryoma-kun, I'm here to visit." There was still no answer, only the sound of "pa-pa" hitting the ball was endless.

"Then I won't bother you." She gently pushed open the unlocked door, walked into the inner room familiarly, put the prepared meals into the empty refrigerator, and then looked at her with satisfaction like a little wife. The messy mansion began to be cleaned.

"What are you doing here?" The man's indifferent voice came from behind.

Her busy movements froze, and then she looked at the man with a hint of timidity in her eyes, "Mr. Long Ma, it was the seniors who asked me to come and have a look at you. Everyone is very worried."

"Thank you. But there is nothing wrong with me, please go back." The man's voice came without any warmth.

She wanted to say something more, but was interrupted by the man's freezing voice, "Don't mess around with Kaka's packed house, she will be upset."

She stared blankly at the man she had been deeply in love with since she was a girl, her indifferent brows and eyes remained the same, but the unruly and bright light shining forever in her eyes could no longer be found, only the dark, A deep pool, that is a haze that cannot be buried no matter what.

This person has reached the top of the tennis world, and only when he is on the court does he seem to come back to life, making her think, ah, isn't Ryoma-kun still the same as I am familiar with?Then she can pretend not to see his repulsive attitude and continue to care about him.

But at this moment, she looked at this man, pouring beer one cup after another, the cans were piled all over the floor, the sportswear on his body was wrinkled, and there was a faint stubble on his chin, and the decadence in his eyes was clearly visible.

Suddenly she couldn't bear it.

Not like this.

Mr. Longma has always been so outstanding and proud, so high and dazzling, there is nothing that can defeat him except tennis.

Not like this.

Mr. Long Ma is very restrained in everything he does. Although he has joined the professional Internet industry, he has maintained the habit of his youth for so many years. The only thing he likes to drink is PONTA, and he has never touched a drop of alcohol.

Not like this.

Although Mr. Long Ma acted arrogantly, he was so happy when he was playing that he could let the audience feel the deep love, instead of the unilateral one-sided, lifeless and ruthless, as if consuming all vitality, which frightened the opponent. vent.

But what if it is not like this?

She suddenly discovered that she never seemed to know him for so many years, and the only chance to get close to him was through Lissan, and then watched the tacit understanding between the two of them in a dark corner, secretly observing with envy and admiration.

In his memory, her youth will always be bright, clean, proud and dazzling like that.

And who is this gloomy man now?

Countless emotions similar to sadness surged, and she finally could no longer deceive herself and tell herself that it had nothing to do with something.

She threw away all her shyness and reserve, and with tears streaming down her face, she rushed forward and hugged the man's waist, sobbing, "Mr. Longma, don't do this. Lissang, seeing you like this, won't leave at ease." of."

Yes, the person who knew him best has left forever.

Even for her best friend, she should take good care of him, shouldn't she?

Then that person seemed to be stunned suddenly, and then pushed her away fiercely without hesitation.

Undisguised haze and a touch of hatred swept towards her sharply from her favorite amber cat eyes, just this seemingly clear glance seemed to kill her body and spirit.

"If it wasn't for Kaka, do you think you can still stay here? Sometimes, I really want to..."

She didn't finish listening to the man's harsh words, she escaped from the house that she had been looking forward to half her life almost in a panic.

He knows?Why would he know?how could be?how can that be possible?

Back home, she collapsed on the bed with almost no image, she hugged herself tightly with her hands, as if this could stop the chill from the bottom of her heart.

In her life, she had had the two most important people.

One is the object of her deep love, and the other is her best friend.

She will always remember the first time she saw Lisang, such a beautiful person, even though she exudes an indifferent temperament, she is still so dazzling that people can't help but want to approach her.

Then she did something completely out of her style almost out of control.

She came to her desk, and said that sentence in a trembling, stuttering voice, with a flushed face, "That,...that...if it's okay,...Classmate Carliss Can you be my friend!"

Then, she lowered her head in annoyance, and was so embarrassed that she wanted to crawl into the cracks in the ground.

"Okay," came a rather gentle female voice, "From now on, you can just call me Liz, Sakura."

She raised her head and stared blankly at the faint smile on that person's face, feeling that she seemed to be radiating light all over her body.

Involuntarily, I want myself to become such a dazzling person.

When you really get to know Lissan, you will find that she is actually a very gentle and approachable person.Moreover, she cares from the bottom of her heart for the relatives and friends she truly recognizes.

She would often be envious of her grades, and then she wanted to cry at her horrible math test papers. Whenever this time, this person would say to her with a smile ten times gentler than usual, "Well, don't worry, I I will educate you well."

Hey, sometimes Lisi Sang is really scarier than the teacher, I don't want it, mom help...

Liz-san also makes some small confusions like her, but she often doesn't admit it.At that time, they often went shopping together, but every time, facing the unfamiliar streets around her, she would wrinkle her face and say tearfully, "Well, Liz-san, didn't you say you know the way?" In the end, Mr. Longma rushed to take them home impatiently after receiving Lissang's call. Now think about it, although he yelled "stupid" every time, he never sent them home. They left them alone, and he walked far ahead alone, and Lissang would trot a few steps to catch up and grab the boy's sleeve, shake it flatteringly, and smile gently, and then the boy would softly "huh!" With a sound, he lowered the brim of his hat, turned his head to the side, the base of his ears turned red, and the corners of his mouth raised an inconspicuous arc.

She followed them step by step, looking at them enviously, and felt that such a scene was extremely beautiful.

Now think about it, how good would it be if the memory stayed in this moment forever?

At the very beginning, she just simply liked that boy. What she loved the most was the incomparable light in his eyes when he stood on the court. It was more of an idol-like worship.

She knew the difference between Lisi Sang and Mr. Longma, but at that time, she was only slightly disappointed in her heart, and more of a blessing for their future. These two people are such a perfect match, it is only natural for them to be together, isn't it? ?

When did it start to deteriorate?

When she was in the third year of junior high school, the grandmother who had been raising her passed away in a car accident, and many seniors from the tennis club came to express their condolences.

She knelt on one side, listening to the same words of condolences, only feeling numb in her heart.

The relatives she loved the most, who depended on each other for life, left her.

Inexplicable fear and bewilderment filled her heart, what would happen to her from now on?Who else would really care about her?

"Ne, wipe it off, it's ugly." The boy's indifferent voice seemed to come through countless days and nights.

She stared blankly at the young man's bony hand, and took the handkerchief in a daze. She just felt that her heartbeat was out of balance. Some suppressed emotions took root and sprouted out of the ground uncontrollably. Even in the next second, flowers could bloom. Come.

Lisi Sang cast a reproachful glance at the young man's indifferent eyebrows, and gently stepped forward to hug her tenderly in her arms, comforting her carefully.

However, for the first time, she felt that this embrace could not make her feel at ease, instead, she felt a little irritated.

What an eyesore.she thinks.

Then she woke up suddenly, what was she thinking just now?She loves and cherishes Lissang as a friend so much, why did she have such dark thoughts?

However, when some ideas sprouted, it seemed that they could no longer stop, just like her inextricable love for the boy.

As time passed, this feeling became stronger and stronger. On the one hand, she maintained a close relationship with Lissan and enjoyed this pure friendship; on the other hand, she was excited to spend more time with Ryoma-kun. At the same time, when seeing the two of them getting along with each other tacitly at close range, they secretly suffered.

How despicable, she sneered at herself slightly.

In such a moral and emotional conflict, she felt that she might go crazy at any time.

Later, every time she saw the girl's smiling face, she wanted to destroy that smile. Why, why am I so painfully entangled here, but you can smile carefree?You clearly, clearly know my heavy love for Mr. Longma, why, why can you still smile at me so peacefully?

Come to think of it, at that time, she was also suppressed to a certain extent, so when those rumors spread in the school, she didn't come forward to explain, even after knowing the source, she didn't stop it, but silently allowed the situation to worsen, even Unconsciously fueling the flames.

And that time, when she was being bullied by a senior senior, and Liz-sang rushed forward to stand in front of her recklessly, even though her body was trembling with fear and did not walk away, her guilt finally surged like a mountain Come.

Her thoughts suddenly came to her senses, and she tremblingly thought, what kind of obstacle has she been in these days, and what has she done?

She held Lissang's hand tightly, and kept saying sorry in her heart, sorry, how could I be jealous of you, you are so kind to me, so gentle, I'm sorry...

Tears flowed down her cheeks, she thought, from now on, she must treat Lissan well and well.

From then on, she seemed to be the old Sakura again. Only she knew that she silently put her hopeless love for the boy in a place that no one could see in her heart. She just learned to endure , because she finally understands what she really needs to take care of, and she never wants to lose her own care.

In the blink of an eye, they all seemed to have grown up.

Under the pressure of her relatives, she married an ordinary-looking man who had a blind date not long ago.

Lisi Sang looked at her sadly and sighed, "Sakura, you deserve better."

She just smiled, why bother, this is the best, this can finally kill the only remaining delusions in her heart, and you can be together more carefree, can't you?So, Lisi Sang, don't feel guilty, how can you force things about feelings, and how can you talk about guilt?

As long as you are chosen by Mr. Longma, there will never be any mistakes, right?

Her married life was indeed worse than imagined.

Her husband is an incompetent and cowardly person, but in front of her, he is quite machismo.

When she came to Echizen Mansion after being beaten all over for the nth time, Lissan hugged her, tears streaming down her neck, "...that bastard...you must leave him, and you must never continue down..."

A divorced single woman is not easy in society, but it is better than the original life.She still often came to the Echizen house, sometimes talking with Lissan, sometimes helping her with housework, sometimes, the two of them stared at each other in a daze, and the day passed like that.

Mr. Longma is not at home for a few days throughout the year, and she feels extremely sad when she sees Lisi Sang's eyes gradually turning dull.

It turns out that Mr. Longma doesn't care about Lisi-san that much?Isn't their life happy?

So what does it matter if you change someone else?

This kind of thought was only just born, and then she forcibly extinguished it.

Absolutely not, betray Lisi-san again, she swore secretly.

Time passed by so leisurely, she watched Lisi Sang getting more and more desperate day by day, leaving only a touch of distress in her heart, and a little resentment towards Mr. Longma.

Why do women make things difficult for women?Not easy, is it?

Sometimes she thinks, maybe, from now on, it will be like this, the two poor women depend on each other, waiting together for a man who may never turn back, struggling and sinking at the bottom of the darkness together.

Then one day when she went to see Lissan, she told herself that she was pregnant.

It's nothing more than a bolt from the blue.

She wanted to bless her very much, and wanted to wait for the arrival of this child with the same anticipation as her.

However, she couldn't deceive herself, such sour, intense, and painful emotions kept haunting her, how could she give sincere blessings?

She felt deeply betrayed.

Why?

She is already in the abyss of hell, and no matter how hard she struggles, she can't get to the shore. Why, you can still give birth to hope in the same darkness?

If you are unlucky, it would be good for everyone to be unlucky together. Why, God can still give you salvation?

From then on, she always tried not to look at her with the excuse that she had something to do, and now her thoughts were very unstable, and she was really afraid of doing irreparable things on the spur of the moment.

She couldn't have any kindness towards this child, even if it was the crystallization of the two people she loved the most.

Then, what happened later?

She sat up abruptly, leaning against the head of the bed, panting heavily, the night was dark, it was clearly midsummer, but her pajamas were drenched in cold sweat.

Ah, I dreamed about the past again, she smiled wryly.

Later, she saw the tears of the undead.

Such poignant and heartbreaking tears.

That person just lay on the bed without business like that, his face was pale, and there were thin drops of water flowing down from her eyes that would never open again.

She must have been carrying the deepest disappointment and pain before she left.

She took a few steps back uncontrollably, and suddenly didn't dare to look at her again.

But, Liz-san, do you know how much Mr. Long Ma cares about you?

She really, really didn't mean it. She also wants to stay by your side and take care of you, but she is afraid of hurting your child; she also wants Mr. Longma to come back to accompany you, but he is realizing it. Isn't it your own dream? Even if she calls him, he can't make it back, right? You will understand; she always remembers that you have a heart attack. When you were pushed into the delivery room, she just kept I was worried that you forgot to tell the doctor, so she really didn't mean it, she likes you so much and cares about you, how could she want to kill you on purpose?

Yeah?A cold voice kept asking her from the bottom of her heart.

She suddenly felt unable to answer.

It doesn't make any sense anymore, does it?Whether intentionally or unintentionally, she committed this crime after all.

She thought of the man's decadent and lifeless eyes, and finally realized that she had destroyed her favorite boy with her own hands.

Later on, she dreamed about the appearance of the girl countless times, it was not the viciousness like a murdered soul, but the beginning, she said softly to her, "Call me Liz from now on, Sakurano." The faint smile on the girl's lips, and her embarrassed face at the time.

It was the late spring and March, it was a spare stay, and it was an unreachable past.

She gently buried her face in her palms, tears trickling from between her fingers.

They all left her after all, and from then on, she was the only one who silently repented for the rest of her life full of guilt and sin.

Suddenly, I felt as if I had been singing a one-man show.

One person blooms, the other falls. It turns out that no one has asked about it from the beginning to the end these years.

Volume Four