The 21st Century Doesn't Need a Celestial Master

1.

Si Ling, male, 22 years old this year, is a senior student majoring in literature.

In this beautiful March, we are catching up with the wave of spring campus recruitment for graduates.Countless college students are sad because they will soon be "unemployed upon graduation", submit their resumes like headless chickens, wander around in various job fairs, and return to the dormitory at night and shout three times because they haven't finished the opening report of their graduation thesis. "Life is not worth it".

But Si Ling, because he received at least three calls from his old father every day asking him to go home and inherit the family business, he crazily banged his head against the wall.

Roommate 1: "I don't understand who he is acting for."

Roommate 2: "Give me this blessing... I will kneel down and shout thank you dad."

Roommate 3: "Although, it has been four years and we don't know what the Si Ling family does. Maybe this family business is really hard to talk about. Let's sympathize with him for now."

As soon as the roommate finished speaking, Si Ling's cell phone rang again.

While everyone was watching, Si Ling picked up the phone, and the old father's loving voice sounded on the other end of the phone: "Baby, how is your graduation thesis going? Go home when you're done. It's almost Ghost Festival, and it will be you when the gate of hell opens." It is a great day to complete the succession ceremony and officially become a celestial master!"

Siling grabbed the ground with his head: "Dad!!! I really want to find a decent job! Don't make harassing calls to me anymore!!!"

2.

How should I put it, Siling's father is a celestial master.

Literally, the kind of celestial master who catches ghosts and exorcises demons is the character in the novel who is coquettishly coaxing the Jade Emperor to worship the Jade Emperor.

But in materialistic terms, Siling's father is a charlatan.

When he was a child, Si Ling felt that his father's job was very cool, wow, that's a heavenly master!Can catch ghosts!Knowing how to draw spells can go to the sky and enter the earth!And according to my father, I also have the blood of a celestial master, and when I grow up, I can slay demons and demons to protect the happy life of the general public!It's super cool!

When I was in kindergarten, the idols of the children in the class were Ultraman, and the idol of Si Ling was Zhong Kui.When I was in junior high school, it was popular to play the secret room of horror. It was the first time that Si Ling entered the secret room and seriously pointed out to the escape room staff that they doodled a spell, which was too rough, and was blocked by the store and kicked out.

Until he entered high school, because Si Ling insisted that he had the blood of a celestial master and could cast down demons and slay demons, his psychological counselor, political teacher, and homeroom teacher took turns to do psychotherapy for a month.

There are three themes: you are now in the second year of high school, you should focus on your studies, and you should not indulge in novels, games and movies; what do your parents do, and you can no longer say that your father is a ghost catcher, do they usually work? I'm very busy and I don't have time to accompany you; could it be that the pressure of the college entrance examination is too great? The teacher understands that you at this age may have some uh...fantasies about this world. You can exercise more and listen to music to cultivate some elegant hobbies.

3.

Si Ling, who is in the second stage of middle school, after experiencing the baptism of materialism by three teachers for a month, had to start thinking: He who insisted that he was a celestial master and his class who insisted that he came from a two-dimensional dead house What the hell is the difference.

The answer is that there is no fucking difference! ! !

You said that you want him to firmly believe that there are ghosts in this world, and that his father is really a ghost catcher.

When Si Ling's father held the air in his hand and insisted on saying to Si Ling, "Look, this is not a ghost, what is it?! The one with long hair, the one in white clothes, and the eyes are still bleeding", Si Ling stared wide-eyed. It is even more impossible to be farsighted, so a pair of eyes with perfect vision can stare out the air with two holes, but still can't see anything.

Si Ling looked at his father with eyes that were two parts desperate, two parts desolate, and only one part was affectionate: "Isn't I the blood of a celestial master? Why have I never seen a ghost since I was a child?"

Siling's father's eyes flickered and he was sweating profusely: "This, that, you, me..."

Go to your sister!His young and pure heart was deceived by this dead old man for 17 years!

He is a charlatan!It's too much to even lie to my own son! ! !

So when Siling's father called him for the 28th time this month, Siling was incompetent and furious: "Dad, why don't I draw up a resume for you too, so you go out and find a serious class to join."

4.

In May, Siling's school held a graduate defense.

There are four people in the Siling dormitory, the eldest has already landed for postgraduate entrance examination, and the other three are running around looking for jobs.In modern society, college students who graduated from ordinary colleges and universities are running everywhere. They are completely cheap labor. The salary for internships is only 3000 yuan a month. What is [-] yuan enough for?Pay the rent, water, electricity and food, and give the rest of the money to the game krypton gold. The game will laugh at you as a pauper.

The second brother just visited a talent market today, and came back with a dozen resumes that he hadn't sent out, and yelled: "I earn more money playing games on my behalf than working part-time! No wonder more and more young people don't like to go to work!"

The third child was more easy-going, and comforted him: "After the internship period, there will be five or six thousand dollars. The game agent is not stable, and there is no next meal after eating."

The boss is in school, his grades are good, and his graduation thesis is smooth. He is playing games at the moment, listening to their complaints and giving suggestions: "How about we go to worship the gods on weekends? I heard that the graduation season is full of depression. The mountain is overcrowded by college students, and when I was taking the postgraduate entrance examination, I could always see people visiting Wenquxing in the group."

Si Ling was taken aback: "Fuyu Mountain?"

Second brother: "Xinnan prayed to the God who is in charge of scratch games to give me good luck. I don't want to win 5000 million. 99 million is enough for me to buy a small villa for the rest of my life."

The boss nodded: "Isn't our side here is Fuyu Mountain? It's better to climb Fuyu Mountain directly than go to other small temples."

Si Ling hesitated to speak, but stopped talking: "Don't be too superstitious, right? I don't believe in this, and the entrance fee to Fuyu Mountain is very expensive! The cable car costs more than 400 yuan for a round trip! It costs at least 200 yuan to ask the gods to serve incense."

Second brother: "Damn, you know it so well, it seems that you often go to Fuyu Mountain, and tell us not to be superstitious? If you say that, I have to go."

Boss: "Then it's settled, let's go to Fuyu Mountain to worship on weekends."

Siling: "Then I won't go..."

Everyone: "You have to go, and save the money to find a tour guide!"

Si Ling: "..."

5.

The temperature rose on Saturday, and the highest temperature today was a full 23 degrees Celsius. Although the spring covered the autumn and the frost, the group still packed lightly because they were preparing to climb the mountain.At the foot of Fuyu Mountain, everyone realized how correct this decision was. There was a sea of ​​people in front of them. With so many people crowded together, the temperature was much higher than other places.

"Let me tell you, during the graduation season, Fuyu Mountain was overwhelmed by college students."

"Damn, what Si Ling said is right, it's too expensive to come here, I regret it a bit."

"How about we go..."

"Hurry up, 'Bah, bah, bah', there are gods on the top, how dare you say that you regret coming here, come here, be careful what you say!"

"Bah bah bah!"

The four of them chatted and walked towards the ticket gate.

Fuyu Mountain, the main mountain that suppresses the Northern Five Elements, walks up the Tongtian Ladder. There are large and small temples dedicated to gods from all walks of life. At the same time, it is also a national 5A-level natural scenic spot. Even if it is not a weekend, it is a weekday or even at night. There are endless streams of pilgrims.

At the ticket gate, a lady with long hair and wearing a sports suit was enthusiastically evacuating the guests. She held a horn in her hand, and her voice was clear and sweet: "Hello everyone, please understand. Larger holidays and weekends adopt a diversion system, and the last batch of tourists have just entered, so let’s line up and wait for 10 minutes before we can enter!”

Her appearance is really outstanding, and her temperament always makes people feel extraordinary. Standing under the scorching sun to evacuate tourists has attracted people's attention frequently.

The beautiful woman with the trumpet walked along the long queue to appease everyone's emotions, but stopped strangely when passing by Si Ling and the others.

6.

The second brother standing in front of the beauty thought: As expected of Fuyu Mountain, I just said that I regretted it and gave me such a beautiful peach blossom. Is it so embarrassing to be a tour guide now?It's a pity that this kind of beauty is exposed to the wind and the sun every day!

So the second brother greeted confidently: "Hi beauty!"

The beauty smiled politely, and said to the second brother, "Excuse me, can I pass in front of you?"

The second brother put away his confident smile: "Cough, ah, haha, it's okay, you go."

The beauty walked through the long queue and stood from the left to the right of the queue.

And Si Ling turned from facing right to facing left in an instant, in short, he just didn't look at the beautiful woman who turned around behind him.

The boss was heartbroken: "Do you think this world is really fair? The family business is waiting for Si Ling to go back and inherit it, but he is not willing. Even in the queue, you can meet beautiful women chasing him, but he ignores them."

The second elder brother sharpened his knife and turned to Siling.

But seeing the beautiful woman grabbed Si Ling by the back collar of his jacket, her posture didn't match the sweetness on the surface, she abruptly dragged her to her face, and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Si Ling had a painful expression: "Sister, I'm here... to worship the gods."

Beauty:"……"

Siling's expression became even more painful: "I beg the gods to help me find a good job."

fall back

Welcome everyone to read the article!It's not scary, everything is made up, don't take it seriously, just make up the background.

Looking forward to every collection comment starfish~

Fuyu Mountain is adapted with reference to Mount Tai!All the gods and villains in Mount Tai, the adaptations made are all plots that need to be harmless and full of respect, please don't argue with me! (pious