honey color

Chapter 59

"I rejected me that day... Sure enough, it was because you still like this person?"

"..." Maybe this is the most frank answer I have given. The foreshadowing in front is enough, and my heart has already become clear, "Yes."

Falling into absolute silence, after a while, he spoke again with a serious voice:

"But I know you better now than he does, don't I?"

"..." It was as if my strength was suddenly relieved. For some reason, this sentence made me hesitate for a while.

It's true, no matter how much I like that person, I never want him to see me now, so when we meet, I resist from the depths of my body.

I was silent, but his voice sounded again:

"Compared to him, you now know me better. I like you, and this mood has never changed. And your heart, Ami, do you want to think about it?"

"..."

I was speechless, in the darkness, such language made me suddenly realize something.

Everything is changing, time makes us have to face up to the changes around us and ourselves.Times have changed around me, and in my words, I am no longer who I used to be in the past four years.Maybe it's just vaguely placing thoughts on the past, and even that kind of obsession seems fake.Isn't it common for people to find that they have no interest in it long after they get something they have wanted for many years?

If that's the case, my heart is indeed shaken...

The mobile phone next to me suddenly rang in a hurry, and Mr. Ueda's urgent call finally stopped our conversation.But this evening talk complicated my feelings about my impending return to Tokyo.

VIP latest chapter 62Chapter62. Farewell to the past

This winter is extremely long, and while losing support, we must face new challenges.The expectations for life were finally set after many deliberations.What was already a matter of course, but because of a small change, it turned into a pleasant surprise like a dream come true.

"Winter is here, can spring be far behind?"

This sentence in Shelley's "Ode to the West Wind" was always mentioned by Mr. Ueda repeatedly in the winter of this year.I don't know when, she fell in love with poetry, and often introduced some to me.A painter also needs connotation. Personal experience is the best, but the accumulation and connotation of thought are often hidden in books.A certain sentence on a certain page suddenly has the power to move you one day, forcing you to burst into tears.

Yukimura stayed in Osaka almost the whole winter, and put his time in such a place, even if he learned about my past beautifully in that one night talk, he knew those past events that had tortured me for four years.But he looked at me with a smile after the lights were turned on again, cleverly avoided those sensitive things, and placed his future with mine on the same plane, looking forward to what deflection would happen, what would be beneficial We change.

As for me, although I can't let go of the last question, but because I am busy with the exam, it is the first time I experience the life of falling asleep as soon as I touch the bed.In addition to painting, the examination of cultural subjects is also very important. My grades are very average, and I often even get his guidance in this regard.His grades in high school were excellent, and even when he went to college, he didn't lose much of those things from the past.

We study at the snowy window, and sometimes we think of the chestnut-haired boy standing outside the door through the white gauze, looking at me, looking at me who is not so clear, as if we are confirming our hearts, just It's like reminiscing about the past through this kind of staring.The thing between him and me is thicker than I imagined, and maybe this feeling can only be experienced after we leave each other.

……

When the cherry blossoms this year dyed the branches pink and white again, the person pushing the wheelchair finally changed from his father to Mr. Ueda.The scenery on the slope is more like a round of farewell, the more beautiful the more sad it seems.

When the admission notice of Musashino Art University arrived home, Mr. Fujiki even called to confirm the matter. I knew that I was about to usher in a new life.I came to Osaka from Tokyo and then returned to Tokyo, so this time there is a sense of returning, but if I am not careful, this feeling of returning turns into a kind of parting.

There are also people worth cherishing in Osaka. The four years of life closest to my father after I became sensible took root here. The friends who tolerated my shortcomings and shortcomings are here. They speak interesting Osaka dialects. Lan and Shiraishi were forced to learn a lot of Osaka dialect.So when parting comes again, when they have to face such things again, they will smile and say: I have learned the Osaka dialect, and I have become half of Osaka people.

Maybe so, or maybe I prefer to believe so.

On the day of graduation, Ishida Lan held the graduation scroll of Shitenbao Temple, cried and took a photo with me under the cherry blossom tree of the school, it always reminded me of the year when Nishimura-senpai leaned against the Sakura Well Senior sister sobbing on her shoulder.But now, this person has become me and Lan.I lay in her arms and cried for a long time, even though there was no sound, even though it seemed calm, my uncontrollable tears stained her front.

Life is too impermanent, even though I am only 19 years old this year, I have already seen its cynical appearance deeply after experiencing all this.Every meeting may be a farewell, worrying about gains and losses has always been like a disease, stuck in the most secret corner of my heart, always having a small outbreak at this moment.

There are too many things to say and do, too much to say and do, but a small admission notice can separate us.

She met Kenya Ninzu after she left school, and they did not know when they had formed a relationship that was better than friends.They were childhood sweethearts, and they even knew what the other party's next sentence would be with just a look. The tacit understanding should have pushed the two parties to a closer relationship, but fate sometimes came later than imagined.No matter how early the onlookers discovered that all this was reasonable, the parties still stayed in the fog.You have to go through a lot of wind and rain before you can re-examine all this.

Most importantly, this time, they finally found the right exit.

They can finally pay attention to each other.

On the cherry blossom path, recalling this the day before parting, my eyes were a little moist after all.Hachi is still by my side, and sometimes it still gets into trouble with Godzilla from the Shiraishi family, but their relationship has improved a lot.It's like the kind of friend who always raises an argument, seemingly incompatible with each other, but never classifies the other party as an enemy.But it also seems to vaguely understand that I am about to leave, so it has been very well-behaved recently.It's like a child who has done something wrong and wants to use his cuteness to tell you how to keep him.So sometimes, when I see him drooping his head and rubbing against my legs, the faint attachment and reluctance in my heart will still appear involuntarily.

Perhaps it is this kind of relationship that makes me so nostalgic before leaving, because I am going to entrust it to Mr. Ueda next.Life in Tokyo must have been a lot of hardships, and there will be many things that I can't predict.

I was always doing things to re-adapt, which kept me feeling lost.The feeling of being homeless penetrates into the bones, and maybe one day, standing in the bright sunlight, you will still lament that you are like a homeless leaf.

Saying goodbye to them again and again, and throwing myself into a new life again and again, but I still don't know where the end is.It is this kind of feeling that makes my paintings unrestrained and open, because there is nothing to be afraid of, because I don’t know where I will be tomorrow, so I lack the ties to everything.

Those who live forever in memories are probably the bravest.

When this day must come, I handed Hachi into the hands of Ueda-sensei, and Yukimura in the distance dragged the box for me.The door of the house is closed, and the appearance of my father who used to study the camera here will still appear and disappear in the glass and in my mind when the cherry blossoms pass by.

Thinking of Shiraishi's childhood sweetheart, this house that has witnessed the beauty of kimonos, photography and paintings, finally saw loneliness again in early spring.

The sunlight dyed the cracks of the flowers pink and white, and when I turned to leave it, the shadows circled me into a dejected situation.As he silently recited those two words in his heart, the sourness gradually spread.

A final farewell:

"goodbye."

VIP Latest Chapter 63Chapter63. City of Memories

"If given a chance to be reborn, would you still want to know each other at the beginning?"

"Of course I would."

……

Perhaps, as many songs say, I was ordered by fate and finally returned to Tokyo after four years.

It's like an old friend who hasn't seen for a long time, but the feeling is much jerky now.Everything in front of me looks very nostalgic and slightly different. The scenery, buildings, streets, and groups all have an indescribable feeling.

On the day I arrived in Tokyo, the Matsumoto family also came to pick me up.Aunt Matsumoto's face clearly looked like she had just cried, but at the moment she was holding back the pain.When he came in front of him, that expression had turned into a forced smile.She walked behind, and although she had said before that she would live in Mr. Fujiki's house, Aunt Matsumoto still prepared a room for her.

There was no rejection, and I knew that my previous decisions were somewhat unreasonable and somewhat naive.So I silently accepted this arrangement, and of course I knew that Mr. Fujiki was just a mentor or friend after all, and it was impossible for him to be closer than Aunt Matsumoto.

It's just that she found that the kind of self-blame from the heart tortured her more and more to alienate her.

Four years in Osaka was a chance for rebirth, but for this woman,

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