honey color

When I was in the shop, I found that the lucky girls wearing gold silk black hats were all smiling and selling mascots woven from bamboo leaves.

Under the clean white kimono, the green bamboo leaves on the display stand are fresh and verdant. Shiraishi and the others bought one after another. When I had to sit in a wheelchair and wait for them, Chitose put a bamboo in my palm.

"Eh?" I looked at the bamboo leaves with indescribable surprise in my heart.

"Of course I will buy one for you." He said it as a matter of course, his dark blue pupils are like a vast sea of ​​night, in my opinion, there is always some melancholy in that quiet temperament, maybe those eyes are is the most important reason. "You don't trust us again." He whispered, and it was hard for me to distinguish his voice among the noisy voices.

"..." I didn't answer him. As he said, the lingering thought of "I'm different from them" has always existed in my heart.They want me to stop thinking about it, but I know that's not possible.

Because the weak person is myself, so I dare not design other people's ideas at will.Natural self-protection, I never dare to get too close to anyone, because I have seen too many "partition" faces, so I don't want to rely on anyone with all my all.

For me, every "trust" means an injury soon after.

Afterwards, we worshiped at the shrine and prayed for a good start to the new year.I hope everyone around me can live a healthy life.

That day, when I took a picture of bamboo leaves and sent it to Yukimura, he said that he was really jealous of us.

"Although there are many friends here, in the end, I still want to worship the shrine with Mi!"

"Eh?"

Although he was puzzled, he didn't say anything further.

It's just pretending not to know again and again, both parties are like this, until they have to face everything, and then they have to lift the transparent net between us.

And that's where I'm at my worst.

……

When the buds on the branches gradually came out, Lan and Qian, who hadn't seen each other for a winter vacation, finally came to school as scheduled.

In the past winter vacation, one can imagine the torture for Lan.I know that they seem to have returned to Osaka in the second half of the winter vacation, but I never contacted them because Shiraishi told me to "suspend".

I knew that the ending would not be so happy. From the moment I sat on the bench in the rehabilitation center with Kenya, I knew that everything was destined to be good.

The boy liked the girl named Yuzi, Lan liked him, but Qian also fell in love with Lan...

As Ishida Lan said in the library, all this is like a "ring", a "ring" that people cannot understand.

So when the cherry blossoms were budding and waiting to open, I saw this girl again through the pink sky.Accompanied by the blue sky, her world has since returned to peace, plainness, and desires.

The white shirt was dyed a touch of light blue, and the bass was missing from the girl's hand.The face under the short hair with ears still shows a faint smile when facing me.It is the smile that is many times more mature than before, maybe it is the "lost" relationship that made her grow up a lot overnight, and I can even see in her eyes that she wants to make a clean break with the previous time.

"I'm giving up on Bess, Amy." When this sentence appeared in my ears without warning, I didn't even know how to answer her. "Because bass just reminds me of the past."

"But...Lan..." I couldn't understand such a clean break with the dream.My abandonment of the past was originally an interruption of fate, "...but that is your thing, right? Why do you want to give up because of that person?"

"No, that's not my thing." She turned around and raised her chin, the skylight fell on her shoulders a piece of pink and white, and in her bright eyes, it seemed that she could see the spots of light in the cracks.

— those suns that were broken into pieces by their branches.

"..." I couldn't speak, I just stared at her blankly as I was covered in shadow by the tree canopy, and I seemed to see something in her after taking off her girlish temperament.Maybe it was this winter vacation that she accidentally caught up with me and walked ahead of me on the road to growth.

"That's just my wishful thinking." She smiled bitterly and raised the corners of her mouth, "So now I have to abandon those things that don't belong to me."

"Lan..." I bit my lip, and suddenly felt that the girl who used to laugh heartlessly was getting farther and farther away from me, and was waving goodbye to me with her Beth in her arms.

"Don't comfort me, honey." She finally turned her head. Although there was a shallow smile in the corner of her eyes, it seemed that all of this was a little weak and pale, "I am different from you. Painting is your life, you have to persist If I go on, I must persist. And Bess is not like this for me, it is just a sustenance. Now that the person worthy of sustenance has turned around and left, I don’t need to waste time on this thing anymore.”

Throughout that conversation, I just looked at her from the beginning to the end.Lan's turning point", in a sense it was also a new inspiration for me.

It turns out that the understanding of "dream" has such a huge difference.I thought that Bess to her was like painting to me, but today, I finally realized that this was just my simple thought.

It seems even more helpless to like something for a person.But Shi Tianlan did this without hesitation. She liked that person, so she was even willing to give up her personality and devote herself to something that maybe she didn't like at all deep in her heart.This kind of giving is not despicable, on the contrary, she needs to have a more generous dedication than me.

In other words, my complete disregard of other people's love is just my own thing, and it is a slightly selfish dream.As for her, she must bring a love that is heavier than mine, and must take into account other factors from the side.

So this kind of non-persistence is not a sign of weakness in my opinion, but a rational line.

"Lan, I hope you are happy, this is the most important thing." This is probably the only thing I can say to her.And after hearing my expectations, she finally reached out and touched my cheek, smiling brightly:

"of course!"

When her narrow-eyed smile was rubbed into the shade of trees with flickering lights, I understood that the little girl holding Bess finally turned around and disappeared at the end of the road.

46Chapter 46. The Continuation of the Dreamland

The author has something to say:

Brother Cun, if you go on like this, you will only be cannon fodder even worse [No

After the spring break, Yuxiangli also entered Sitianbao Temple.

On the first day of school, I took a picture of this little girl’s back in an email to Yukimura, and when I explained that she was Shiraishi’s younger sister, he laughed and said on the phone that they really have siblings.

"But in the future, I will be promoted to a third grade." He was on the other end of the phone, his voice lowered a lot in an instant.

"In the third year of high school... that means you're about to enter a higher school, right?" I seemed to understand the reason for his hesitant voice, so I asked immediately.

"Yeah." He replied generously, and I seemed to hear the sound of something "swish" sweeping over the phone.

"Yukimura-kun is reading a book?"

"...Ah, I'm drawing, sketching." He was stunned for a second, "Sure enough, it's more polite to be single-minded when talking on the phone..."

"No, that's not what I meant!" I hurriedly shook my head in panic, even though I knew that Yukimura on the other side of the phone couldn't see it at all.

There was a clear low laugh from the other side of the phone, and he heard the sound of him closing his book, and then he seemed to turn around:

"So honey, don't you ask me what major I'm going to study for university entrance?" I can imagine his expression when he is talking on the phone seriously, the gentle smile in his eyes made me bend the corner of my lower lip unconsciously:

"Art, right?"

"Yeah, so Ami will definitely study art in a year, right?"

"I think it should be like this..." Faced with this problem, I became weak again, afraid of new environments, places with many people, and strangers. I don't know if I will still have the strength to walk into the University.

He seemed to hear something, so there was a gap between us out of thin air.

There is the sound of the pendulum ticking by my ears, and outside the window is the huge cherry rain that makes people feel distressed every year.At the end, he took a deep breath:

"I'll be with you, University."

He knew what I was afraid of, he knew very well, because he had been through such pain.The feeling of having to give up, the feeling of sitting on the hospital bed and crying because of a trick of fate, he also experienced it a few years ago, so he is the one who can walk into my heart. He knows that my inferiority complex cannot Digested.He managed to escape from the tricks of fate, but I will have to spend my life with low self-esteem because of my physical shortcomings.He knew how terrible and helpless it was.

So when I heard his words, my heart was like a flash of calcium carbide.

What does he mean... he wants to lead me to fulfill my... dream of art?

"Yukimura-kun will be with me...?" I couldn't believe it, when I hesitated to ask this sentence, the person on the other side answered me firmly again:

"Ok!"

"..." I couldn't speak, because I never expected that someone would book the next trip with me.It should be said that I never dared to hope.

"So Mi, I will wait for you at Musashino Art University."

"Yukimura-kun has already decided?" I immediately asked.

"Well, it's better to decide earlier. It should be more suitable for us.