fake god

Eggplant is seven years old this year, and his name is "Zhao Xiaolong". That's right, there is only one word difference from the famous Zhao Zilong.Xiaolong is a well-deserved figure in Yuying Primary School. Everyone knows that Xiaolong’s family is very, very rich. He has a qigong master father, an international designer mother, ten villas in the United States (typos), 20 cooks, and Tibetans. The bodyguard in the tree... Because he is so powerful, even the students in the third and fourth grades respectfully call him "Brother Long" when they see him.

(Because it is not easy to cheat after the fifth grade)

Today is the school's open day, and many students are looking forward to seeing Xiaolong's legendary parents.

It's a pity that Xiaolong's parents are too busy. His father flew to Hong Kong to learn martial arts with Jackie Chen. His mother is preparing for the fashion week in France (F four sounds). Although Xiaolong is disappointed, he knows that the work of his parents is more important. A seven-year-old man, mature and independent.So today's open day, his parents were absent.

Shen Yuze pieced together everything from An An's retelling, feeling deeply absurd.

He told Lu Ping about this and discussed with him what to do.

After hearing this, Lu Ping was in a mixed mood. He was very angry, and felt that it was unnecessary to be angry with a seven-year-old kid: "So, my sister was bullied by such a bragging bastard?"

"It seems so." Shen Yuze was puzzled, "Did no one notice that he was talking nonsense?"

Lu Ping shook his head: "How can children tell the difference? Believe what others say. When I was young, my deskmate said that my great-grandfather was the emperor, and he would be the head of the country when he grew up. He made up It's true, our teacher said in class that the Qing Dynasty had been dead for more than 100 years, he cried after class, and brought a bunch of classmates to burn incense to worship his emperor's grandfather, and said that after the restoration of the country, we will be sealed General."

Shen Yuze: "How did you find out that you were cheated later?"

Lu Ping didn't want to say it at first, but Shen Yuze kept asking. After holding back for a long time, he finally suffocated the truth: "When we burned incense, we almost burned the classroom, and all the staff were invited as parents, and they ate a lot of firewood when we went back. The great cause collapsed in the middle."

Shen Yuze couldn't help laughing.

The two brothers and sisters really deserved to be a family. Ten years ago Lu Ping was coaxed into a daze by the emperor's great-grandson, and ten years later An An was frightened dizzy by the son of a qigong master.

Lu Ping was not convinced, and asked Shen Yuze: "Didn't you meet such a classmate who was full of guns when you were young? Said that he was a descendant of the European royal family, that he had a large manor abroad, and that he knew a certain star?"

"Indeed." Shen Yuze nodded.

"Isn't that enough?"

"But they're not bragging."

"..."

Heck, why did Lu Ping forget that Young Master Shen is so rich, even if there are a few princes and princesses from oil countries among his classmates, that's normal!

After all the parents and students in the third class of the first grade signed in, the head teacher led everyone into the campus for the first activity of the day: visiting the school.

Yuying Primary School was rebuilt a few years ago. The playground was newly paved with a plastic track and evergreen lawns were planted; various wall paintings were painted on the walls, which looked colorful and in line with the aesthetics of the children.Every classroom in the teaching building is equipped with advanced multimedia equipment. After removing the blackboard, you can see the electronic screen. Teachers can directly write on the screen with an electronic pen. These facilities are more advanced than Jiaojiang No. [-] Middle School.

No. [-] Middle School has not been renovated for many years. If they want to use a projector in every class, they need to use a remote control to control the up and down of the curtain. Once the curtain gets stuck, they can only send the tallest boy in the class to pull it.

Lu Ping sighed: "The children today are really happy."

"Your words sound old-fashioned." Shen Yuze said, "In the eyes of children, we are also very happy."

Lu Ping thinks about it too. A seven-year-old child has to ask his parents for their opinion even if he eats a popsicle. Unlike him, there are more than 1000 yuan in the meal card, and he has already realized the freedom to eat popsicles.

After visiting the classroom, the teacher took them to visit the music classroom and the art classroom in turn.

An An especially likes to take music classes. The music teacher is gentle and beautiful. She wears skirts to class every day.An An also wants to be like a music teacher. She also wants to learn musical instruments, but she is afraid that she will not be able to persevere.

An An held her elder brother with her left hand, and Shen Yuze with her right hand, chattering happily, "Brother, did you learn musical instruments when you were young?"

Shen Yuze interjected: "You are a family, if he has learned musical instruments, how could you not know?"

"I just don't know." An'an said confidently, "I didn't know him when he was a child."

Shen Yuze: "..."

That's right.

Lu Ping thought for a while: "It's considered learned."

An An: "If you have learned it, you have learned it. If you have not learned it, you have not learned it. What do you mean by 'learned'?"

So Lu Ping told her that when he was young, he participated in the drum and horn team organized by the school. In one team, there were drummers, horn players, and conductors. participated in the competition.It's a pity that the drum team of Nan'an Elementary School is so good that they can change their formation while beating the drums. Lu Ping's school didn't even get a commemorative award.

An Anke was envious, and his brother in a white costume appeared in his mind: "Then brother, what musical instrument did you learn at that time?"

"..." Lu Ping stopped talking again.

An An: "Is it a snare drum? Or a trumpet?"

"Neither of them." Lu Ping struggled to utter a few words, "...it's a big cymbal."

Lu Ping was dark, thin and small when he was a child, but for some reason, he was assigned to play cymbals by his teacher.And it's not a flexible small cymbal, but a big cymbal that is several laps bigger than his head!

The queue for big cymbals was just behind the big drums, and the players who played the big drums were all the strongest boys in the fifth and sixth grades. They carried the big drums on their backs on their chests, and each of them rounded their arms to hammer the drums.While Lu Ping had to endure the thumping of the big drum, he also had to endure the thumping of his own hands. Every time after training, his ears were buzzing, and he had to raise his voice by several octaves, otherwise he would not be able to hear it at all. .

Just remembering it gave Lu Ping a headache.

Shen Yuze wanted to laugh but couldn't, and comforted him: "It's not that there is a saying that what you have learned and experienced, even if it seemed useless at the time, as you grow up, you will definitely use it inadvertently one day. "

"That's right." Lu Ping rolled his eyes at him, "When you have weddings and weddings, I will play cymbals for you for free."

This time Shen Yuze really couldn't bear it anymore, and laughed outright.The sound of their talking and laughing spread to the front row of the team, and the head teacher who led the team reminded them: "Parents of students, please keep your voice down."

Lu Ping apologized repeatedly in embarrassment, and when the teacher turned around, he punched Shen Yuze heavily in anger and annoyance, and scolded him in a low voice: "Don't laugh!"

This circle just hit the center of Shen Yuze's chest. Shen Yuze was caught off guard and immediately coughed a few times.He frowned and covered his chest, looking very uncomfortable.

Lu Ping was a little nervous: "Are you okay?"

Didn't he just hit his trachea?

Shen Yuze narrowed his eyes and glanced at him, sighed, and said quietly: "With such great strength, I really deserve to be a big cymbal player."

Lu Ping: "........."

Is it because others treat others as fools if they don't make a fuss!

Fortunately, the three members of their "family" walked at the end of the line, otherwise their "infighting" would be seen by other parents.

An An watched their every move.An An looked up at them talking and laughing ("Shen Yuze, believe it or not, I'll blow your head off!" "Okay, which head do you want to touch Pingping?"), thinking enviously: Brother Shen and Brother Shen have such a good relationship, I don't know when I can have such a good friend?

……

After visiting the teaching building, they returned to the playground, ready for today's highlight - the parent-child sports meeting.

Because children in the lower grades are quite different from those in the upper grades in terms of physical fitness, the school decided to divide the first and second grades into one group, and the competitions and games will be held within the group.

For adults, it is too childish to participate in games with seven or eight-year-old children. The parents do not speak to each other, and they are all playing with their phones with their heads down. The atmosphere is really deserted.

However, in the face of this situation, the homeroom teacher had already made preparations and led everyone to play the icebreaker game first.

Teacher in charge: "Parents and children, let's play a 'hug game' now. The rules are very simple. When I say the password, you have to hug the person who meets the requirements. For example, I said: 'Hug the wearing blue' the person in the blue dress', everyone should hug the person in the blue dress; when I say: 'Hug the person with the two braids', everyone should hug the person with the two braids; To be eliminated."

It's a low-difficulty game, but a lot of fun to get everyone moving, which is perfect for the occasion.

Encouraged by the teacher, all the parents took their children into the activity area.Shen Yuze didn't want to go at first, but Lu Pingsheng insisted and brought him on the stage anyway.

An An was determined to win, and told the two elder brothers: "We must win!"

Lu Ping thought to himself, what's so difficult about hugging someone?He definitely has the last laugh.

"—hug the man in the hat!"

When the first password was issued, several parents wearing hats in the crowd were immediately surrounded by the crowd.Someone was slow to react and ran over slowly, but was blocked from the crowd and was eliminated in the first round.

"—hug the person in the down jacket!"

The second password is a bit more difficult, because the winter in Jiaojiang is not too cold. Although it is December, there are very few people wearing down jackets, and most of them are wearing woolen coats.Lu Ping was glad that he put on a thin down vest before going out today. Many people surrounded him immediately. The children screamed and hugged his legs, but the parents were very reserved and only reached out to touch his clothes. "Hug".Shen Yuze originally wanted to hug him, but there were too many people around, so he could only put his hand on Lu Ping's shoulder reluctantly.

Then, there were various commands such as "hug the person in pink", "hug the tallest person", "hug the person with the earring", and the number of people on the field quickly decreased by two-thirds.Many of the parents who come to the parent-teacher meeting are grandparents of the children. The elderly cannot play this kind of bouncing game and are the first to be eliminated.

Lu Ping and Shen Yuze were the youngest of the "parents", and they were quick to respond, so they stayed until the end.

"Now there are only ten parents and three classmates left on the field. Let's see who can win?" The homeroom teacher was very satisfied with the hot atmosphere in the field, and issued another order, "—please hug those around you kid!"

As soon as this order came out, Lu Ping's eyes immediately turned to the three children on the other side of the playground.An An had already been eliminated in the previous round. If he wanted to stay, he had to run over as soon as possible.

However, before he could take a step, the person beside him unexpectedly stretched out his arms and embraced him.

Lu Ping was caught off guard and directly crashed into Shen Yuze's chest.

Lu Ping: "?"

An An, who was on the sidelines: "??"

Other parents: "???"

Homeroom teacher: "????"

Lu Ping struggled to stick his head out of his arms, and said in a low voice, "What are you doing, the teacher said 'hug the kid'!"

"That's right, it's a child." Shen Yuze remained calm, "Aren't those who are underage children?"

head teacher:"……"

I suspect you're just looking for an excuse to hug someone! !

The whistle sounded, and the round was over, and Lu Ping and Shen Yuze were eliminated as expected.Fortunately, An An was not unhappy, but stood on the same front with Shen Yuze, thinking that his 17-year-old brother was a "children" just like himself.

Lu Ping was helpless: "Whose sister are you, why are you talking to him? Obviously he caused us to be eliminated!"

An An shrugged his shoulders imitating an adult, and said very maturely: "Winning or losing is a common matter in military affairs, playing games, the more important thing is to be happy~"

Lu Ping: "..."

I really don't know what ecstasy Shen Yuze gave her.

After the icebreaker games, the sports meet officially begins.There are many events that can be registered for the sports meeting. As long as you participate in the competition, everyone can get candies, and the top three winners can also get big red flowers prepared by the teacher.

An An was greedy for big red flowers, and pestered her two elder brothers to sign up too.It's a pity that the places for games such as parent-child relay, hula hoop, and parent-child skipping rope were quickly snatched away by other parents. Lu Ping looked around on the event list, and his eyes fell on the last event. The number of people who signed up for that event At least, there are less than ten people so far.

"'Looking over the bar'? What kind of competition is this, is it high jump?" Lu Ping asked the teacher in charge of registration.

He thought that looking up the crossbar refers to jumping over the railing with the body sideways when jumping high, but the teacher told him that "over the crossbar" is required for competitors to participate in the competition, leaning back, lowering their body, and passing under the crossbar Pass.The crossbar will be lower and lower, and whoever can pass under the lower crossbar will be No.1 in the competition.

"Ah?" Lu Ping retreated as soon as he heard it. He suspected that his waist would not be able to bend over at all. If he got cramps, wouldn't he be making a big fool of himself?Lu Ping originally wanted to change the project, but his eyes turned around the applicant's name. After seeing a certain name, he suddenly changed his attention: "Teacher, I will apply for this!"

Shen Yuze next to him showed surprise: "Are you sure?"

"Look carefully, Zhao Xiaolong's name is written on it." Lu Ping glanced at his sister and lowered his voice deliberately, not wanting her to hear, "An'an has been bullied by Zhao Xiaolong for so long, I always have to find a chance, Beat him once in the arena!"

Shen Yuze took a closer look, and sure enough, he saw the words "Zhao Xiaolong's parents" in the applicant column.

Shen Yuze: "I heard from An An that his parents were absent from this event."

"I guess it's uncle and aunt." Lu Ping snorted.When he visited the teaching building just now, there were too many parents at the scene, and he couldn't find someone who was with Zhao Xiaolong, but it didn't matter, he could see it later in the game. "Whoever he is here! Just in time to warm up, I'll have a good talk with his parents."

It is understandable that a child in the lower grades likes to brag and fabricate his family background because he can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality; however, he should not look down on other children, or even laugh at other people’s parents’ work.

Although Lu Ping can't teach Zhao Xiaolong directly, he can talk to his parents and ask them to educate him well.

With this in mind, Lu Ping signed up for the "over the bar" competition.

"Brother, come on!" An An encouraged him, "You must get the big red flower!!"

Lu Ping rubbed his lower back. Although the game hadn't started yet, his waist started to hurt now.

Shen Yuze was afraid that he would be injured, so he said worriedly: "Why don't we change, I will go to the competition, and you will take care of An'an."

"Don't be kidding, you are more than ten centimeters taller than me!" Lu Ping shook his head, "I inquired, and the other participants in the competition were all matriarchs. You are so tall, with such long legs, and you are a lot taller than others. Cut. Others are 'looking over the bar', you are 'stepping over the hurdle'."

"It's not so exaggerated." Shen Yuze couldn't talk to him, and only asked him to do what he could, and don't hurt his waist.

"My brother won't hurt his waist!" An An replied quickly, "My mother said that children don't have waists!"

Lu Ping: "..."

Where did this feudal superstition come from!

……

Shen Yuze took An An to the auditorium, Lu Ping put up the entry card, and went to the waiting area to warm up alone.

When he was warming up, his eyes carefully searched the other contestants next to him, trying to find Zhao Xiaolong's parents.

Soon, he locked onto his target—a young woman in sportswear with her back turned to him, and the name tag behind her was "Zhao Xiaolong, Class 3, Class [-]"! !

While doing chest expansion exercises, Lu Ping approached "Zhao Xiaolong's parent" with a lunge.

"Excuse me, are you Zhao Xiaolong's parents?" Lu Ping cleared his throat, "There is something I want to tell you."

"Ah, yes." Hearing the voice behind her, the woman hurriedly turned around, "What's the matter?"

After they saw each other's appearance clearly, they were stunned at the same time.

Because Lu Ping discovered that he had met Zhao Xiaolong's parents!It's sister Qian who once met in an English speech contest!

Sister Qian was the eldest sister of North Shore Middle School. At that time, the cheerleaders of No. [-] Middle School couldn't find a seat, so Lu Ping went out of his way to get close to Sister Qian, and Sister Qian shared a few seats with them.After the game, they added QQ friends, but they never contacted each other.

"Lu Ping? Why are you here?"

"Sister Qian? Are you Zhao Xiaolong's parent?"

When old friends meet, the atmosphere suddenly becomes warmer.

Lu Ping said: "My parents are busy with work, so I will hold a parent-teacher meeting for my younger sister. Are you... Zhao Xiaolong's older sister?"

Why is this world so small!

"I'm not." Unexpectedly, Sister Qian shook her head, "I'm actually his neighbor."

"Ah?" Lu Ping was both shocked and puzzled, "You are his neighbor, why did you come to hold a parent-teacher meeting for him?"

Sister Qian sighed: "Isn't it because his family members are worthless and don't care about him at all!"

"...?"

"His father was an alcoholic. He beat his children and his wife when he was drunk. Xiaolong's mother couldn't stand it. She ran away a few years ago and there was no news. His father became more and more alcoholic. One day he got drunk and fell into the water. The people in the pit are gone... well, they deserve what they deserve."

Lu Ping: "..."

"His other relatives ignored him, kicked him around, and kicked him to the child's grandfather. But the child's grandfather is very old and has lost his sight in one eye."

Lu Ping: "..."

"Our neighbors saw how pitiful he was, so they brought him some food from time to time. He begged me to attend the parent-teacher meeting this time, so I had no choice but to come." At this point, Sister Qian's voice was already a little choked up.She is a very sassy girl, and the corners of her eyes are rarely red.She turned her head to wipe away her tears, fanned the wind with her hands, and then turned to look at Lu Ping, "Forget it, don't mention these uncomfortable things. What did you say to tell me?"

Lu Ping immediately shook his head: "...No, nothing."

Sister Qian: "Really?"

Lu Ping squeezed out a smile: "Really."

Sister Qian didn't think much about it, she patted Lu Ping on the shoulder, and said with a smile: "You also signed up for the 'over the bar' event, right? I'll see you later on the field. For Xiaolong, I won't let the water go."

Lu Ping smiled awkwardly.

After Sister Qian left, Lu Ping immediately took out his mobile phone and sent a series of fatal calls to Shen Yuze.

[Lu Ping: sos! ! ! ! ! 】

[Lu Ping: sos! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 】

[Shen Yuze: What's wrong? 】

[Lu Ping: What should I do, I don't think I can beat Xiaolong anymore! ! QAQ]

He wanted to explain, but then the staff came over and reminded him that he was going to play.He could only put away his mobile phone and follow the other parents to the playing field.

The competition field where the crossbar was leaning over was very close to the auditorium. When Lu Ping came out, An An, who was sitting on Shen Yuze's lap, jumped up immediately, put her hands next to her mouth, and kept shouting "Brother~ Come on" and "Brother~ come on"!

While she was shouting, another voice suddenly appeared beside her: "Sister, come on!!! Take No.1!!!"

An An turned her head and found that the person standing next to her was actually Zhao Xiaolong!After Zhao Xiaolong shouted, a big sister with short hair waved to him immediately.

Zhao Xiaolong also waved happily at the big sister, then turned his head and hummed to An An provocatively: "My sister is amazing, let me tell you quietly, she is a secret agent and has carried out several missions, she is You came here to participate in the competition just for me!"

Hearing that Zhao Xiaolong's sister was so "powerful", An An couldn't help but flinch.However, when she thought of Shen Yuze's brother by her side, she felt a wave of courage in her heart, and said bravely: "Even if your sister is a secret agent, I am not afraid of you! My brother is also very powerful. He was at the beach before and saw a man He was swept away by the waves, so he jumped into the sea, swam ten kilometers and rescued the man, and, in order to save him, he even fought with sharks in the sea!"

Shen Yuze who heard two children comparing each other and bragging next to each other: "..."

Zhao Xiaolong: "Really? I don't believe it."

An An: "Why don't you believe it? My brother is in the newspaper! Go read the newspaper yourself!"

Zhao Xiaolong plausibly said: "But I don't know so many words now, I can't read newspapers, who knows if what you said is true or not."

An An became anxious and pointed to Shen Yuze next to him: "If you don't believe me, ask him! He can read!!"

So, Zhao Xiaolong's suspicious gaze shifted from An An to Shen Yuze.The little boy raised his neck, looked at Shen Yuze carefully several times, and asked, "Who are you? Are you also Lu An's brother?"

Facing the eyes of the two children, Shen Yuze sighed silently in his heart, and lowered his proud head.

"No, I'm Miss An An's bodyguard." Shen Yuze said with a serious expression, "What Miss said is true, Master Lu Ping did jump into the sea, first fought a shark, then swam another ten kilometers, and rescued a person .”

……

Lu Ping: "—Ah Choo!!"

A gust of cold wind blew by, and Lu Ping, who took off his coat, sneezed heavily.

Seeing this, Sister Qian joked with him: "You are not strong enough, the game is not over yet, you are about to surrender."

"Who said I'm going to surrender?" Lu Ping shook his stiff waist, refusing to admit defeat, "It's not certain who will win."

The game of looking up the crossbar is very simple. The referee puts the crossbar on the vertical pole and lowers the height a little bit. The ten players participating in the competition pass under the crossbar in turn. Whoever passes the lower height is the final winner. By.

In this competition, Lu Ping was the only male contestant, and the rest of the contestants were all petite, a head shorter than Lu Ping.A boy in Lu Ping mixed among these women and was often teased.

They all thought that Lu Ping was the first to be eliminated, but they didn't expect that Lu Ping's flexibility exceeded everyone's expectations, and he successfully passed the test again and again!

The other mothers-in-law and aunts were eliminated one by one. Before leaving, they couldn't help muttering a few words: "It's better to have a young man's waist."

Now, only Lu Ping and Sister Qian are left on the court.

The referee lowered the height of the pole again, and Lu Ping made a gesture. Now the crossbar is not as high as his waist!

Sister Qian asked, "You first, me first?"

Lu Ping was frightened and said, "You go first."

Sister Qian moved her waist, then took a deep breath, bent her knees forward and back, and moved towards the crossbar bit by bit.

This height is too low. During their competition, the entire audience was silent, for fear of affecting the players.At this moment, a scream came from the auditorium: "Sister, come on!!!!!! Sister, you must get No.1!!!!"

Lu Ping followed the shouts, and saw a black and fat boy jumping up and down in the auditorium, and standing beside him were his sister and Shen Yuze.

I think that little black fat is the legendary Zhao Xiaolong.

Unfortunately, Zhao Xiaolong's blessing was in vain—Sister Qian's body hit the crossbar, and her attempt failed!

The pressure of the game came to Lu Ping: at the same height, if he can pass, then he can win the championship, if he can't pass, then he has to enter overtime with Sister Qian and challenge again.

Lu Ping and Shen Yuze in the audience looked at each other, and saw worry in his eyes.He knew that Shen Yuze wanted not to force her, but he couldn't let his sister down!

With the thought of taking back the championship for his sister no matter what, Lu Ping sank into his dantian, holding back his breath and bending back.He supported his back with both hands, and tried his best to bend his body into a bow shape, feeling that his entire back was about to be broken.

Then, he bent his knees again, and in a very difficult posture, he slid inch by inch under the bar.

Come on, come on, come on...just a little bit, just a little bit...

Seeing that Lu Ping was about to succeed, Zhao Xiaolong couldn't help feeling impetuous. He thought: "I can't pass it, I can't pass it, I can't pass it!"

An An was furious: "You are talking nonsense, my brother will definitely be able to pass!"

"I can't pass! That pole is so low, your brother can't bend it!!"

"Who said, my brother can do it, he can definitely bend down!!!" An An's voice became louder and louder, and she simply gathered her hands into a horn, piled them on her mouth, and shouted loudly toward the field: "Brother, come on——!! !!! You are the most crooked——!!!!”

Shen Yuze: "..."

"Brother, you are the most crooked in the whole world - the whole earth - the whole universe!!!!!!!!! You are more crooked than everyone else -!!!! You are the crookedest - ——!!!!!!!!!”