fake god

This morning's English teaching was a deep torture for both "teacher" and "student".

Otherwise, "homework tutoring" and "veteran driver teaching driving" are the two major killers that destroy intimacy. All Shen Yuze's self-cultivation in the past 17 years has been exhausted at this time.

Call Lu Ping stupid, but he is very good at other times; but what Shen Yuze taught, Lu Ping forgets in a blink of an eye, as if there is a filter in his head, and all English letters are automatically filtered out.

Shen Yuze prepared a pen, and when Lu Ping made a wrong question, he tapped it on the back of Lu Ping's hand... The back of Lu Ping's hand was red all morning.

Lu Ping said aggrievedly: "You can't fight in another place, it hurts, okay?"

Shen Yuze didn't look at him pretending to be pitiful, and said in a cold tone: "This is to let you have a long memory. My English is the first at any rate, and you are a student I personally tutor. If your English score in the next month's test is still only [-] You are not the only one who loses face for half the score of the roll."

"It's more than half the score," Lu Ping quickly clarified, "It's 82 points! It's 7 points more than half!"

"...You are quite proud?" Shen Yuze laughed angrily.His smile was fleeting, and soon he put on an iceberg expression, circled three reading comprehension articles from the exercise book, and pushed them to Lu Ping, "I'll give you 25 minutes to finish three sets of reading, isn't it difficult?" ?”

Lu Ping was shocked: "Why is it not difficult?! Difficult to die!"

Shen Yuze acted as if he didn't hear it, and there was no smile on his handsome face: "There are fifteen questions in total, and you can't get more than two... three wrong questions. If you make one more mistake, you will be punished."

"What punishment?"

Shen Yuze didn't speak, but bent his fingers and made a movement of flicking his forehead.

Lu Ping: "...??"

Damn, Lu Ping hasn't been flicked on the head since he graduated from elementary school!Does Shen Yuze treat him as a primary school student?

Lu Ping still wanted to bargain with him, but Shen Yuze had already taken out his phone and switched to the stopwatch mode: "Get ready, three, two, one—start!"

Lu Ping: "Wait, can we change the punishment method? It's too stupid to flick your forehead!"

"Remind," Shen Yuze glanced at the time on the phone, "You have already wasted 20 seconds."

"..."

Poor Lu Ping had no choice but to cry and do English questions.

25 minutes is too short for the exam. Lu Ping spent 10 minutes each reading the first two articles. In order to reduce the rate of questions, he did it very seriously. He checked several options repeatedly and answered them again and again. Find the sentence in the original text.This leads to too much time wasted in the front, and the last reading-the most difficult one-only has 5 minutes left!

Shen Yuze tapped on the table with his fingers: "5 minutes."

Lu Ping hurriedly began to read the first line.

after awhile.

Shen Yuze: "3 minutes."

Lu Ping didn't even finish reading the second paragraph at this time!

After a while.

Shen Yuze: "1 minutes."

Lu Ping was aggrieved: "Can you stop counting down? I feel that you are not urging me to do the questions, but urging my life!"

Don't be impatient when doing the questions, Lu Ping's tears are about to come out, so he can only bite the bullet and give up reading, and directly skip to the back to write the questions.

When the timer in Shen Yuze's hand had only the last five seconds left, Lu Ping swiped his pen and chose C for the last three questions.

"It's time—" Shen Yuze asked: "——Lu Ping, why did you choose C?"

"It's very simple. This is a math problem." Lu Ping put down his pen and said solemnly.

"Why is it related to mathematics again?"

"See, this is what happens if you don't listen well in math class!" Lu Pingzheng didn't have a chance to taunt Shen Yuze, so he simply taught him instead, "Actually, it doesn't matter which option you choose, the important thing is to choose the same one! There are four options for one question, if I choose one at random, the probability of being right is [-]/[-], right?"

Shen Yuze nodded.

Lu Ping pulled a piece of paper, and wrote down a series of probability equations: "The probability of getting all three questions right is ?x?x?, which is equal to 64 in 64. If two questions are right and one question is wrong, it is 64/[-]. Two wrongs and one right, that’s [-] out of [-]!!! Add up the probability is nearly one in five!!” He clenched his fists, “Give it a go, a bicycle becomes a motorcycle, I don’t believe I’m so unlucky.”

Shen Yuze: "...In the final analysis, it's still luck."

Lu Ping: "Lou, I am relying on the blessing of the God of Mathematics."

"That's fine, let me see if the God of Mathematics has blessed you." Shen Yuze took his test paper and started judging the questions directly.

Lu Ping: "Wait, why didn't you get the answer right?"

"Why do you need to correct the answers?" Shen Yuze asked back, "Do you also need to read the answers when you help your sister with homework?"

"..." But An'an is only in the first grade this year.

Lu Ping puffed his cheeks and swallowed his objection.

He clasped his hands and fingers on his chest, pretending to be praying, and raised his head nervously to watch Shen Yuze judge the paper for him.

The first reading, very good, there is no mistake!It is worthwhile for him to read it twice carefully!

The second reading is also okay, only one mistake.

Lu Ping patted his chest to comfort himself: "It's okay, it's okay, I can't give up until the last moment!"

It's finally the last one, and it's also the hardest one!

The vocabulary and grammar of the third reading are difficult, and when Lu Ping was doing the questions, Shen Yuze kept counting down, which made him restless and stumbled while reading...Of course, Lu Ping must admit that even if the time is doubled, He is also not confident that he will get a full score in the third reading.

It's just that such an article, which is five-star difficulty in Lu Ping's eyes, is still very simple in Shen Yuze's eyes. The young man frowned slightly, and read the entire article at a glance, and his eyes fell to the five multiple-choice questions below.

Lu Ping couldn't even breathe, he stared at the red pen in Shen Yuze's eyes, and cast magic on it with his thoughts.

The red pen is raised, and the red pen is lowered—two red crosses appear next to the answer!

Lu Ping: "...Why are the first two wrong??"

If it's the last three, that's all. After all, the last three are Meng's answers.But he did the first two questions by himself, how could he be wrong QAQ!

Shen Yuze's pen did not stop, and continued to move to the lower row of questions.

The third way, choose C, correct.

The fourth way, choose C, is still correct!

Shen Yuze obviously hesitated for a moment, and he went back to the original text and read it again... That's right, he did choose C for both of these questions.

The God of Mathematics has indeed favored Lu Ping.

Lu Ping next to him could hardly control his screaming!The hands that were clasped together on his chest are now firmly pressing down on his mouth. His heartbeat has never been so fast. He swears that this is definitely the most exciting thing he has ever experienced!

If the last question is also correct, he will not be the prince of cakes in the future, but the prince of probability! ! !

Lu Ping wanted to sing the BGM for himself in his heart.

However, before the battle song in his heart reached its climax, a fork suddenly broke the coronation ceremony of the prince of probability.

I saw that the red pen that symbolized the devil mercilessly drew a big fork next to the fifth question. The correct option for this question was not C, but D...

But whether it is A, B or D, it will not have any impact on the ending - Lu Ping's wrong questions reached four, which triggered Shen Yuze's "punishment".

Lu Ping was still stubbornly resisting: "...No, wait, I am applying for an appeal, Your Honor! I am applying for a heavy sentence!"

"What is the appeal?" Shen Yuze drew a red line in the test paper with a red pen, "The answer to the fifth question is in the last paragraph of the original text, but a synonym was replaced, and the affirmative sentence was replaced with a double negative sentence. "

Lu Ping stared at the red line again and again, and had to admit that Shen Yuze was right.

The great god of mathematics abandoned the little prince of probability—and now Lupin has turned back into a poor little mouse.

Moreover, it was a poor mouse whose tail was held down by a cat and was about to be punished.

The little mouse raised his hand to cover his forehead, and asked tremblingly, "Shen, Shen Yuze, you don't really want to hit me, do you?"

"Didn't it be agreed before?" Shen Yuze clasped his right thumb and middle finger, and flicked twice out of thin air.That strength, that speed... made Lu Ping tremble uncontrollably.Shen Yuze urged, "There is no room for bargaining between us. Lu Ping, I told you so many questions all morning, and you still made so many mistakes. I only slapped your forehead and didn't spank your butt, which is enough to give you face."

Speaking of this, Shen Yuze's eyes flew to Lu Ping's lower body, and asked with a half-smile: "Or, do you choose spanking?"

Lu Ping hurriedly said: "...Then, let's choose the head."

The lesser of two evils, Lu Ping still understands this truth!

Aggrieved, the boy brushed away the broken hair on his forehead with his hands, exposing his smooth forehead.He raised his neck, closed his eyes with some fear, his eyelashes trembling slightly, obviously it was just a simple flick of the forehead, but because he was scaring himself, he insisted on acting generously.

After pulling up the broken hair, Sunshine could finally kiss the boy wantonly.

Sixteen or seventeen-year-old boys are in puberty, and under the action of hormones, most of them are "crooked melons and dates": half of them have acne on their faces, and the other half have to have sex with messy mustaches every day. struggle.

But Lu Ping's face was clean, not as scruffy as his peers.His skin is fine and fair, even if you look at it from such a close distance, there is no blemish on his face; when he closes his eyes, the ignorance and inferiority in his eyes are all hidden, his face is round, and his nose is still wrinkled because of nervousness Twice, the two lips are pressed together, and the tip of the tongue sticks out to lick from time to time.

Cute and pathetic.

Obviously this face is not so delicate and pretty, but Shen Yuze is still unknowingly fascinated by it.

——He leaned forward, getting closer and closer to the unsuspecting boy, as long as he got closer by a centimeter, he could smell the sweet glutinous rice on Lu Ping's body again.

Lu Ping's world was dark.He waited tremblingly in the dark. He didn't know how long he waited, but he still didn't get the pain that should have fallen on his forehead.

In contrast, he vaguely felt a heat source slowly approaching him.

"?" Lu Ping didn't dare to open his eyes, and asked in confusion, "Shen Yuze, don't you want to play?"

"..."

Silence answered him.

——The heat source suddenly pulled away from him.

In the next second, a pop fell on his forehead.

...Eh, it's strange that it doesn't hurt.

Lu Ping opened his eyes immediately in surprise, only to see that Shen Yuze had returned to his seat, sitting upright, flipping through the textbook in front of him.

Facing Lu Ping's surprise, Shen Yuze's tone was as calm as usual: "Okay, I'll spare you this time."