half blind

Zhang Qing walked to the desk and opened the drawer on the right. To his surprise, there was something in the drawer.

It was a stack of thick paper. Zhang Qing opened the paper and saw that it was all the certificates that Zhou Nanchen had won in middle school.

Three good students, outstanding league members, the first prize in the Mathematical Olympiad, the first prize in the composition competition... There are dozens of them, piled up in a thick pile.

These outstanding honors from his student days, Zhou Nanchen actually threw them here and let them fall into ashes?

Taking a step back, this is also part of my memories of my student life, right?Just leave it here?

You must know that before Zhang Qing ran away from home, he carefully put all the honors given by the school into his suitcase.

And Zhou Nanchen obviously studied so well and won so many awards, but he seemed to avoid them and threw them all here.

It suddenly occurred to him that Zhou Nanchen could get 985 and 211 grades, but in the end he only went to the most common second-class university... Does this matter have anything to do with these certificates?

Zhang Qing's head was in a mess, he closed the drawer on the right hand side, and opened the drawer on the left hand side.

Unexpectedly, the drawer on the left was not empty either.

Inside was a flip-up photo frame.Next to the photo frame, there is a small incense burner and a few scattered incense sticks.

A bad premonition welled up, Zhang Qing reached out and picked up the photo.

It is a black and white photo.

In the photo is a woman with a haggard and pale face, messy hair scattered on her forehead and temples, and the corners of her eyes drooping tiredly.

This is... Zhou Nanchen's mother.

Zhang Qing's hand holding the photo was a little trembling, and he stayed where he was for a while, when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Zhang Qing was taken aback, and the photo frame almost fell to the ground, and it took several rescues before he was able to hold it firmly.When Zhou Nanchen opened the door and came in, Zhang Qing was frantically stuffing the photo frame back into the drawer.

It was over, he saw.

Zhang Qing turned around in a panic, trying to explain something.But Zhou Nanchen walked to his bedside with the porridge bowl as if he didn't see it.

"I wanted to cook some millet porridge, but I didn't buy millet, so I cooked some white porridge, is that okay?"

"Yes, yes." Zhang Qing stammered and coughed dryly, "Thank you."

Zhang Qing wanted to take the porridge bowl from him, but the latter avoided him.

"Sit down. You have been lying down all day and your body is weak. I will come."

"Oh." Zhang Qing had no choice but to sit obediently by the bed.

Zhou Nanchen scooped up a spoonful of white porridge, put it on his mouth, blew it gently, and brought it to Zhang Qing's mouth.

This kind of feeding like a child made Zhang Qing a little ashamed, but Zhou Nanchen, who was holding a spoon in his hand, did not change his expression and heartbeat, and deeply implemented the principle of "as long as I am not embarrassed, the embarrassing is someone else".

He had no choice but to open his mouth and eat the porridge obediently.

I thought that the taste of white porridge would not be very good, but I didn't expect the taste to be very tasty, not bland at all.

Just like that, Zhou Nanchen scooped up another spoonful and fed it to Zhang Qing, and finished feeding half a bowl of porridge.

"Don't drink anymore?"

"No." Zhang Qing shook his head, "But it's quite delicious, it's different from the white porridge in my impression."

"I put some oyster sauce and chopped green onion." Zhou Nanchen put the porridge aside, "It's just good to drink."

"Did you buy these on purpose?" Zhang Qing asked in surprise.

"It's nothing, you can always use it." Zhou Nanchen said, "You've been in a coma for so long, so it's worth eating something good."

Zhang Qing smiled, "I made you worry."

"I'm fine, but Duanmurou is quite worried. Fortunately, you're awake, and I just called her to report that she's safe."

"Oh, that's good...Speaking of which, where is she?" Zhang Qing was taken aback for a moment.

"She seems to be busy helping you to avoid public opinion." Zhou Nanchen sat down beside Zhang Qing, "You frightened her after you fainted yesterday. We quickly called a car to bring you here, but fortunately no one was watching Yes. Later she found out that someone anonymously posted your hotel address on Weibo yesterday, which caused the boycotters to block you in droves."

"Anonymous?" Zhang Qing suddenly raised his head.

"It's a newly registered trumpet. Sister Rou sent someone to check the IP, but there was no result." Zhou Nanchen nodded.

Zhang Qing sneered, "It's like hiding the IP so we don't know who did it."

"Sister Rou just went out to investigate this matter. She said that she should be back before ten o'clock tonight. I hope I can find clues."

Zhang Qing nodded and was silent for a while, "It's because Sister Rou thinks it's not safe to live in a hotel, so you brought me here, right?"

"Well. As long as it's a hotel, there will be a possibility of information leakage. Since the other party is that Bai Yidong, no one can hide his ID card."

"I'm sorry, I just..." Zhang Qing sighed, but still chose to speak out, "I didn't mean it, it's just..."

"It's okay, actually this is what I want to tell you. It's fine if you see it first." Zhou Nanchen smiled, went to the desk and opened the drawer, took out the photo frame from inside, stared at it for a long time, wiped Dust on top.

"I thought..." Zhang Qing's throat was a little dry, "You and your mother just have some conflicts."

"I have always had conflicts with her." Zhou Nanchen put the cleaned photo frame on the table, "If it wasn't for this, she wouldn't have died."

Saying that, Zhou Nanchen turned around, with a deep tiredness in his smile, "I was the one who killed her."

This sentence made Zhang Qing's heart drop, "What's going on?"

Zhou Nanchen sat down opposite Zhang Qing.

On this day, he finally confessed to Zhang Qing what happened seven years ago.

He was not rushing, and his tone was flat, as if he was telling someone else's story.

In Zhang Qing's impression, Zhou Nanchen had never said so many things in one breath.

He has been speaking in a calm tone for more than two hours, even his posture has not changed, and his eyes are always fixed on the ground.The period chapter cleared the simple response, not knowing what else to say.

He never imagined that Zhou Nanchen could endure and bear such a heavy past for so many years.

"She died during the summer vacation seven years ago. At that time, our affairs were exposed, and you were locked up at home by your parents and lost contact for a month. She died during that month.

"After she found out about us, she has been going crazy. For almost half a month, she has been using all the dirty words she can find to scold me. Later, she not only scolded, but also beat me with a broom, but she was too drunk, Even the hands that hit people were shaking.

"It would have been nice if I had realized something was wrong at that time, but on second thought, maybe I had realized it a long time ago, and I just wanted her to die.

"That evening, the sunset was beautiful, and there were beautiful burning clouds on the edge of the sky. My mother had been drinking, and she threw empty bottles everywhere. She lay on the ground and called me a scum, a gay who messed with men. Sooner or later Infected her with AIDS. I still can't figure it out. She didn't even have the strength to stand up, so how could she still have so much strength to swear.

"I couldn't stand her shrill voice, and as usual, I locked myself in the room and went to draw the burning cloud in the sky. Seeing me close the door, she screamed like crazy, cursed people, and finally slapped my room hard. Door.

"I ignored her, listening to music with headphones on, and only thinking about the beautiful fire cloud. If I don't draw faster, it will disappear. But after I finished drawing, I opened the door of the room, and she lay It's on the ground, it's not moving."

Zhang Qing was speechless, his chest heaved rapidly, but he was still overwhelmed by the information in these words.

"The police said that she had a myocardial infarction induced by acute alcoholism, and she almost died suddenly on the spot. Even if she was found in time, the probability of being rescued is very low. But I still couldn't help thinking that maybe when she knocked on my door, she was asking for help I didn't hear anything she yelled. Could it be that she was calling for help? Could it be that she died in pain and despair? Could it be that she... hated me for not saving her? "

"Zhou Nanchen." Zhang Qing called his name with difficulty, his throat was wriggling, but he couldn't say any extra words, so he held his hand tightly, not letting go.

"Since then, I found that I can no longer draw. Once I pick up the brush, the blood-red burning cloud and her death will emerge before my eyes.

"I was too cowardly to let you know that I was a cold-blooded murderer. So I ran away and went to a city where I would never see you again. A distant aunt took me in until I went to college .”

Speaking of this, Zhou Nanchen paused, and said softly: "At the time, I thought that I would never see you again in this life. A bastard like me is not worthy of such an outstanding you."

Hearing these words, Zhang Qing suddenly raised his head, tears bursting out like a bank, "Zhou Nanchen, I'm sorry for your mother!"

Unprepared, Zhou Nanchen was punched heavily in the ribs.

He subconsciously dodged backwards, but Zhang Qing approached him and punched him a second time.

There was a burning pain in his chest, and when Zhang Qing swung his third punch, Zhou Nanchen finally clamped his wrist.

"You fucking bastard! What right do you have to say you're an asshole!" Zhang Qing shouted with a hoarse cry, "Why do you make decisions for me? Why don't you follow me? I said, why didn't you wait for me!"

"I'm sorry." Zhou Nanchen pressed Zhang Qing firmly into his arms, and the latter was still struggling.

"We agreed to be together forever, why can't you wait for a month!" Zhang Qing yelled, "I've waited for you for seven years, why didn't you even wait for me for a month, why!"

"I'm sorry." Zhou Nanchen pressed Zhang Qing to his chest, the latter struggled twice, and finally lost all his strength, tears fell on Zhou Nanchen's lapel.

"Give me back the seven years." Zhang Qing cried so much that his tone changed, "Why didn't you tell me this, why didn't you believe me..."

"Don't cry, the doctor said you shouldn't have big mood swings now." Zhou Nanchen hugged Zhang Qing's waist tightly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't..."

"I love you."

In the sobbing voice, there was an ambiguous sentence.Zhou Nanchen's whole body froze.