half blind

Some memories he didn't want to recall poured into his head like a countercurrent.

"You are our only hope!"

"What happened to the first place in the exam? Look at how far No.2 is from you!"

"Are you going to repay us with this kind of achievement?"

……

"I heard that your parents have a bad relationship with you. What's the matter?"

"I heard that everyone has finished acting in a TV series, why haven't you found a role yet?"

……

"Zhang Qing fainted again? Is he hypoglycemic?"

"Don't worry about it, you'll be fine in a while. There's something wrong with his head."

"It's really not easy for you to sleep, and you have to drag such a crazy."

……

"Boycott the murderous idol Zhang Qing!"

"Murderer, go to hell!"

"Get out of the entertainment industry!"

These are not me.

I am not like this.

do not look at me.

I'm……

Zhang Qing woke up suddenly, but his chest was held down, and a soft female voice said: "Don't move around, get up slowly, and adjust your breathing first."

Zhang Qing subconsciously followed the voice's instructions and slowly sat up from the bed.After several deep breaths, he recognized the person in front of him.

"Doctor Chen?"

The psychiatrist smiled at him, "How do you feel?"

"It's okay. This is me..." Zhang Qing looked around in confusion and found himself lying on a bed.

This is definitely not a hotel room. This room looks inexplicably familiar, but Zhang Qing's chaotic brain is still unable to think.

"Why are you here?" Zhang Qing rubbed his temple, "This is... Huaishui."

"It's Huai Shui." Dr. Chen said, "After you fainted, your manager called me. I happened to be on a business trip in the next city, and I hurried over after dealing with the last patient."

"Having fainted?" Zhang Qing repeated.

He passed out?When did this happen?Why do you faint?

Dr. Chen rushed over from the next city... How long has he been in a coma?

"You probably slept all day, and the fainting happened yesterday afternoon." Dr. Chen explained, "I heard from your agent that you saw the boycott team in front of your hotel, and suddenly had difficulty breathing and passed out. I heard the description of the symptoms, it should be a panic attack."

Panic attack... Zhang Qing rubbed his swollen and painful temples and tried hard to remember, "No way."

This is too worthless, maybe Zhou Nanchen will still see it...

Zhang Qingzhen wanted to find a crack to get in.

"As I said before, one of the side effects of the medicine you are taking now is that it is easy to cause anxiety, and you have a history of anxiety." Dr. Chen sighed, "But you are so stubborn, you just don't listen to persuasion."

Zhang Qing smiled bitterly, "Doctor, if you are blind, would you take medicine?"

Dr. Chen choked for a moment, and shook his head helplessly, "Zhang Qing, actually, I think that the improvement of your eyes is not all due to the effect of the medicine."

"Ok?"

"You only need to read the drug instructions to know that risperidone is not very suitable for your symptoms, and your taking it for the first few days has no effect." Dr. Chen said, "I think your eyes have improved, which is very important. To a certain extent, it is related to your mentality, to be precise, it is your relationship with him."

Zhang Qing was taken aback. Since he had been treated by Dr. Chen for so long, it was the first time that she explicitly mentioned his relationship with Zhou Nanchen.

Although Zhang Qing thinks that she knows something, she still feels a little uncomfortable being pointed out so suddenly.

"I met that Mr. Zhou Nanchen when I came here." Doctor Chen's expression softened, "He is very worried about you."

"Really?" Zhang Qing lowered his head.

"I'm afraid he cares about you more than you imagined." Dr. Chen said seriously, "Although we only met once, I can't make a judgment. But you are very important to him, to the point that it is unnatural .”

"Unnatural?" Zhang Qing was stunned.

"That gentleman may need psychological treatment more than you. He has a heavy psychological burden, but he has no desire to vent. It should be because he is used to keeping his emotions in his heart all year round." Dr. Chen said, "But you can rest assured. , I think, he loves you very much."

Zhang Qing's heart trembled suddenly.

"I made him worry, didn't I?" Zhang Qing said in a low voice.

Dr. Chen stood up and patted Zhang Qing on the shoulder, "I don't know what you have experienced in the past, but I have seen too many people who love each other torture each other. Personally, I really don't want you to do the same become one of them."

Speaking of which, Dr. Chen sighed, "Talk to him carefully, don't always hide it from him because you are afraid that he will worry. Since you love him, you should learn to trust him, right?"

"Thank you, Dr. Chen." Zhang Qing took a deep breath, rubbed his face and said sincerely.

"No thanks, these are all my duties." Dr. Chen picked up the bag beside him and stood up. "I'm relieved when you wake up. I still have some work to do. If anything happens, Be sure to call me."

Zhang Qing hurriedly said, "Okay, go get busy."

"I've prescribed some tranquilizing medicine for you, but you have to pay attention to your body and mind. As for risperidone... I'll leave it to you to judge."

After Dr. Chen left the room, Zhang Qing heard Zhou Nanchen talking to Dr. Chen from outside the door.Not long after, there was a knock at the door, and Dr. Chen left.

Zhang Qing closed his eyes and fell asleep, judging from the light in the room, it was already evening.

He literally passed out for the whole day.

Even now, the violent panic attacks linger in the body with horrible feelings.

His hands under the quilt were still trembling slightly, his heart was still beating unevenly, and the feeling of suffocation and near-death before fainting slowly returned to his memory, and his fear made him clenched the bed sheet involuntarily.

Really useless.

Isn't it just being stuffed with threatening letters, isn't it just being called a murderer by a group of strangers?

He already knew these things.

Isn't this kind of thing very common in the circle?

Why didn't he stand up to it?

The door was knocked suddenly, Zhang Qing opened his eyes, cleared his throat, "Come in."

Zhou Nanchen pushed open the door, and the moment he saw Zhang Qing, he relaxed, "You're awake."

"Yeah." Zhang Qing smiled at him.

Zhou Nanchen walked quickly to the bedside and hugged Zhang Qing. Zhang Qing felt an imperceptible tremor from his strength, "You scared me to death."

Zhang Qing closed his eyes and took a bite on his neck, "Now you know how I felt at that time."

Zhou Nanchen was taken aback, unable to laugh or cry, "What's the comparison?"

"One to one, let's draw a tie." Zhang Qing buried his face in Zhou Nanchen's arms and said sullenly.

"Lie down and sleep for a while." Zhou Nanchen let go of him, "If there is anything you want to eat, I'll make it for you."

"I've been sleeping all day, and it's a bit inhumane to let me sleep." Zhang Qing said with a smile.

"Then lie down and rest, and I'll cook some porridge for you." Zhou Nanchen said and was about to leave.

"Hey." Zhang Qing stopped him, "Why didn't you ask me?"

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me why I fainted, what's going on." Zhang Qing looked at him.

Zhou Nanchen stopped talking and avoided his eyes.Between the flashing eyes, Zhang Qing saw a trace of helplessness.

This was the first time he saw Zhou Nanchen showing such an expression.

"Actually, you already knew about it, right?" Zhang Qing sighed, and collapsed on the headboard of the bed as if giving up resistance.

Zhou Nanchen hesitated, "I..."

"You were not surprised by my reaction after receiving that letter, and you immediately knew how to guide my breathing." Zhang Qing asked, "When did you know?"

"Once, I accidentally overheard the phone call between you and Dr. Chen." Zhou Nanchen lowered his head, like a primary school student who did something wrong, "I also checked some anxiety-related information myself."

"That's it." Zhang Qing sighed, "Then I secretly took medicine behind your back to heal your eyes, and you already knew about it?"

"..."

Zhang Qing smiled self-deprecatingly, "Obviously I don't want you to know the last thing, but the more I try to hide it, the more I can't hide it. I'm really useless."

Zhou Nanchen didn't speak, but the expression in his eyes changed, sadness mixed with pain.He suddenly leaned down and kissed Zhang Qing's lips.

Lingering and deep, Zhou Nanchen tried his best to describe every part of Zhang Qing's lip shape.

The tip of the tongue squeezed in between the teeth, not letting go of any corner.Zhang Qing knew that Zhou Nanchen put all the words he couldn't say into this kiss, which was a consistent move that this boring gourd would use before.

When they parted, Zhang Qing felt that his sober head had been filled with lead again.Zhou Nanchen panted slightly, trying to calm down his breathing.

"I'll go and cook porridge for you." Zhou Nanchen collected himself and added as if he had made up his mind, "After eating, I have something to tell you."

Zhang Qing got off the bed, and his body joints were a little stiff after lying down all day.He stretched himself, and while moving his joints in the room, he looked at the familiar room.

The rooms are cramped and old.There was only a single bed and a small, worn-out desk in the room.

There are several places on the wall where the wall skin is peeling off, and the color of the wall skin is also dark. It is an old house at a glance.

Zhang Qing remembered.

This is Zhou Nanchen's house - the old house where Zhou Nanchen lived with his mother.

He couldn't help but walked around the room, touching the cracked wall and the dilapidated desk.

This is Zhou Nanchen's room.He remembered that the walls here were covered with Zhou Nanchen's paintings, his easel was placed in front of the bed, and a large number of pencils and paints were placed on the desk.

Although these things are gone, the process of painting still left marks on the table.Zhang Qing stroked the color blocks soaked in paint on the wooden table and smiled.

They spent a lot of time in this room when they were young.

Chatting here, arguing here, catching up on homework here, playing games here, and doing that kind of thing here.

Because they are too young, everything is not covered up, and the vigorous love can only be expressed in the most primitive way.

From before, Zhou Nanchen seemed to be a different person in bed.

He is usually a good-looking and abstinent handsome guy, but he is like an old hooligan when he gets in bed, and he won't let him go unless he begs for mercy.

There was even one time when he stopped suddenly in the middle of it, looked at his naked body very carefully, and asked him if he could draw him as he was now.

Zhang Qing was thin-skinned at that time, and of course he would not agree even if he was beaten to death.

But Zhou Nanchen's obsessive and serious eyes at that time made his cheeks feel hot when he thought about it now.