half blind

"Sister Rou, do you still have something to eat?" Zhang Qing led Chen Lou to find Duanmu Rou who was resting on a chair.

"Yes." Duanmurou rummaged through her bag, found two egg yolk pies and a piece of ham, and handed them over, "Has Xiaolou not eaten yet? Here."

"Thank you, Sister Rou." Chen Lou smiled shyly, and sat down beside him a little cautiously.

"Let me tell you, people in this line of work must pay attention to their diet. This kind of early-morning and all-night filming will be unavoidable in the future. It's best to let the assistant manager bring some food with him, otherwise his body will suffer after a long period of time. I can't stand it." Duanmurou murmured, "Don't look at me always telling our Xiaoqing to lose weight, but breakfast must not be missed. If you don't eat at night, you have to eat meal replacement yogurt, and your stomach can't be empty, otherwise it will be very difficult in the long run. It's easy to get stomach problems."

Chen Lou was taken aback by Duanmurou, and kept nodding, "Really? Then I have to ask my assistant to pay more attention in the future."

"You said that it's okay for you to talk about me every day, and you go to annoy the little girl." Zhang Qing complained.

"If it weren't for your ability to take care of yourself like a preschool child, I would have to waste my time talking so much?" Duanmurou glared at him.

Chen Lou was amused by the two of them going back and forth, and seemed to be in a much better mood.

Seeing this, Zhang Qing also showed a smile, "Is it better?"

"En." Chen Lou nodded, "Brother Qing, thank you. I just NGed so many times, please accompany me to do it again and again..."

"It's all normal." Zhang Qing smiled, "Who has never been in a bad state, let alone this is your first play, which is already very good. As for what Li Fan said , don't take it too seriously. It was his fault that he didn't notify in advance that he was going to shoot the sunrise this morning, but now he's taking all his anger on you, a newcomer, it's simply..."

Zhang Qing shook his head as he said, "Believe me, the director of a big crew would never do things like this. When you go to a big crew to film a movie one day, you will understand what I mean."

Zhang Qing thought of the "Secret Case" that started to air tonight. It felt very comfortable to film in that crew. From top to bottom, the whole crew, both the director and the staff, respected each other, and the work efficiency was very high. On the contrary, there were very few late work Or the case of temporary processing.

It's a pity that with Zhang Qing's status, he can only play a marginal role. He only appeared in the fifth episode, and he didn't have many roles.He also went to audition for the leading actor, but before the casting of a drama like this, the director and producer already have a default candidate in mind, and the probability of passing the audition is very small.

"Yeah." Chen Lou lowered his head and bit the egg yolk pie, "Actually, I don't know if I will continue to act in the future."

"Why, isn't acting interesting?" Duanmurou asked.

"I thought it was interesting at first..." Chen Lou was silent for a while, "But after I actually acted, I realized that being an actor is totally different from what I imagined."

"It's okay." Zhang Qing smiled, "If you don't like it, there is no need to continue. There are many ways to live your own life in this world. You just need to be yourself, and don't care about the rest .”

Chen Lou suddenly raised his head to look at Zhang Qing, the tears that had stopped welling up from his eyes again.

Zhang Qing was taken aback, and immediately couldn't even speak, "Hey, what's the matter? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry, don't cry."

Chen Lou shook his head and couldn't speak, but tears kept falling.

Duanmurou quickly took out a tissue from her bag, touched her chin and said softly, "Don't move."

Chen Lou was stunned for a moment, watching Duanmurou gently wipe the corners of her eyes with a tissue.

"Your makeup is a bit messy, it's ready now. Don't cry, you have to continue shooting later." Duanmurou smiled, and this smile instantly made Chen Lou's nose sore again, "Crying on, this makeup Only Ah Chen can save it."

A slight smile flashed across the corner of Zhang Qing's mouth, and he raised his eyelids to look in the direction of logistics. Zhou Nanchen was busy near the RV.

Zhang Qing had an illusion, he always felt that Zhou Nanchen was always looking at them, but when he looked in Zhou Nanchen's direction, he was just talking to his colleagues.

"Thank you." Chen Lou choked up and said, taking several deep breaths, "Thank you, Brother Qing."

"Okay." Duanmurou patted her shoulder reassuringly.

At this time, the sky was completely bright, and other actors also rushed to the set one after another. Zhang Qing and Chen Lou didn't have a long rest, and they were about to continue filming the next scene.

It seems that Bai Yidong left directly after filming his scene without even saying hello.Duanmurou lowered his voice and asked Zhang Qing, "Did Chen Lou quarrel with Bai Yidong?"

Zhang Qing glanced in Chen Lou's direction, "Bai Yidong may have something to do, but I don't think...it's not like a simple quarrel."

"I don't think so either." Duanmurou said, "Chen Lou has a good personality, not like the kind of girl who would cry like this after a fight. But it's hard to say, after all, the other party is a bastard like Bai Yidong. What heartbreaking thing can you do?"

Zhang Qing shook his head, expressing that he didn't know either.

Zhang Qing filmed the scene all morning, and at noon Duanmurou informed him that he had an interview appointment for "Secret Case" in the afternoon, so Zhang Qing temporarily asked Li Fan for leave to accept the interview.

The interview process was not very smooth, because the reporter originally made some card games as easter eggs, but Zhang Qing couldn't see clearly and couldn't cooperate, forcing Duanmurou to use all his skills in making up nonsense in his life, and barely let the two A reporter believed that Zhang Qing just slept too late and was not in good condition.

It was already five o'clock in the afternoon when the interview ended. As soon as he got in the car, Zhang Qing started yawning one after another.

"Xiaoqing, your eyes..." Duanmurou sighed, "It's been such a long time, why are you still not seeing any improvement?"

Zhang Qing didn't respond and looked out the window.

"Did you quarrel with Zhou Nanchen?" Duanmurou asked again, Zhang Qing glanced at her and said nothing.

"It's too obvious, even a blind person can see it." Duanmu Rou sighed, "He usually comes to see you on set, but today he has been busy with his own business, leaving you to me and running away .”

"En." Zhang Qing responded without a tone.

"Xiaoqing, I'm telling you about this seriously." Duanmurou's tone became serious, "After the filming of this film is finished, you will no longer be inseparable with Zhou Nanchen every day like now. Even now in " During the promotion period of The Secret Case, you have to come out alone to accept interviews or participate in activities. In the beginning, I asked you to live with him, but it was actually just a delay. I didn't expect your illness to drag on for so long... "

Seeing that Zhang Qing didn't intend to answer, Duanmurou had no choice but to continue, "After filming "Slow Half Beat" at the latest, if your eyes still haven't improved, I must tell the company about it. You are not a good person if you go on like this The way, Zhou Nanchen can't be tied to you like a conjoined twin, and his relationship with you is not stable, if one day he walks away—"

"Okay." Zhang Qing interrupted Duanmurou's words, but the latter didn't react immediately.

"what?"

"I said yes." Zhang Qing said, "If my eyes are still not good after filming this movie, you can report to the company."

Duanmurou was a little surprised by Zhang Qing's non-objection attitude. She was about to ask a few more questions, but Zhang Qing preempted her.

"How did Doctor Chen reply?"

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you." Duanmurou slowed down the speed of the car, "Doctor Chen said that she is free tonight. But you have been running all day for work today, if you are too tired--"

"No, let's go now." Zhang Qing rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up.

Duanmurou stopped arguing with him, and stepped on the accelerator, "Okay, then I'll take you there right now. There is meal replacement yogurt in the back seat bag, so you can fill your stomach."

Zhang Qing didn't speak any more, took out the yogurt from the bag, and tore open the package bit by bit.For a while, apart from the sound of the engine, there was only the hissing sound of the yogurt packaging bag.

Zhang Qing sat on the soft sofa and waited for a while before Dr. Chen opened the door and walked in.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She smiled at Zhang Qing.

"I'm the one who should say I'm sorry, and I've delayed your rest time." Seeing the doctor come in, Zhang Qing sat up a little.

"No, the patient's affairs always come first to me." Dr. Chen sat down on the sofa opposite Zhang Qing, "How do you feel recently?"

Zhang Qing didn't meet her eyes, "Don't you ask me why I suddenly consulted the time earlier?"

Dr. Chen was taken aback, but quickly smiled, "You are always so straightforward. Then, why do you need to consult in advance? Did something happen?"

Zhang Qing didn't say yes or no, "Well, I'm here today mainly to discuss something with you."

"what's up?"

"My condition, can I start medication?"

Dr. Chen was taken aback, first adjusted his facial expression, and then asked tactfully: "But I remember that you were very opposed to drug treatment at first, you said that psychotropic drugs have serious side effects, and you are afraid that it will affect your working status. "

Zhang Qing clenched the thumb of his left hand with his right hand, "I... have changed my mind now."

"Can you tell me the reason?" Dr. Chen asked, "Please forgive me, I can't rashly prescribe medicine without knowing the patient's physical and mental health."

"Yesterday, my mother came to see me." When Zhang Qing said this, he unconsciously pinched his left thumb tightly with his right hand.

A trace of surprise flashed in Dr. Chen's eyes, and he wrote a few words on the record in his hand, "And then?"

Zhang Qing explained clearly what happened yesterday, including how he quarreled with Zhou Nanchen afterwards.After the narration ended, Dr. Chen did not speak for a long time.

"In the beginning, I was really worried about the side effects of the drugs. Because I have taken anti-anxiety drugs for several years in college, and I know nothing better than that." Zhang Qing said absently, "But now I find that no matter what drugs, they can't beat Zhou Nanchen's every move has an impact on me. He is the kind of bad personality who can't beat a fart with three sticks. If he is allowed to go on like this, I'm afraid that one day I walk on the road and don't see a car. He will not hesitate Rush up and die for me."

When Zhang Qing said this, he couldn't restrain his trembling at all, so he could only hold his fingers tighter, "He won't say anything, he won't tell me anything, the same thing about deleting that email, he would rather Being scolded by me doesn't want me to be hurt after reading the email. But what should I do? What do I have to do to repay such a big favor like him?"

Dr. Chen sighed, "To be honest, I think it is very necessary for this friend of yours to receive psychological counseling. He may have a certain tendency to self-destruct."

"Self-destructive tendencies? Why!" Zhang Qing became excited, "I'm the one who wanted to commit suicide by jumping off a building in the first year of high school, and I'm the one who was abandoned by him without saying a word! I'm living a fucking life Yes, what right does he have to self-destruct?"

"Calm down, take it easy, it's okay." Dr. Chen pushed a cup of hot tea in front of Zhang Qing, and said softly, "Drink some water first, it's okay."

Zhang Qing picked up the tea that Dr. Chen pushed him. He clenched the cup tightly and took a big sip. When he put it down, his fingers trembled, and the water rippled irregularly, "I'm sorry, I didn't think..."

"It's okay, it's safe here." Dr. Chen smiled, "You'll be fine."

Zhang Qing nodded and continued, "So, I want to apply for drug treatment. If possible, I also want to know what medicine you plan to prescribe for me."

Dr. Chen hesitated for a moment, and said, "At present, because your situation is more complicated, I plan to start with anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs..."

Dr. Chen was interrupted by Zhang Qing before he finished speaking.

"No, my situation shouldn't be prescribed in this way. Anti-anxiety and antidepressant drugs can only relieve emotions at best, but can't solve the problem."

Dr. Chen explained patiently: "But your eyes are related to your mood, and you have a history of anxiety disorders. So my plan is to use drugs to help ease your emotions first, and see if your eyes can improve on the basis of emotional improvement. progress."

But Zhang Qing shook his head, "Doctor, there is nothing wrong with my emotions. I am what a normal person is. And even if your plan is really feasible, it will still be a tug of war, and it will take a long time, but I don't have that long."

This time Dr. Chen frowned.

"I have become a doctor after a long illness, so I know a little bit about it." Zhang Qing continued, "My condition should actually be characterized according to visual and auditory hallucinations, right? You should be prescribing drugs for hysteria."

Hearing this, Dr. Chen sighed, "Don't think about your situation so pessimistically. There are many types of hysteria, and each patient's condition is very different. Your symptoms are only manifested in the loss of eye perception. There is no tendency to worsen, and it is not necessary to use psychotropic drugs."

"If you want to use it, what kind of medicine should you use?" Zhang Qing insisted.

"If you insist...I can only prescribe risperidone for you." Dr. Chen said, "but risperidone has a lot of side effects, including drowsiness, dizziness, vomiting, etc., and it is the most safe for you. One of the unfavorable side effects is that it has the possibility of causing anxiety, I advise you to think carefully about it."

"No, I've thought about it a long time ago." Zhang Qing shook his head, "I said, no matter what the side effects are, they can't be worth Nanchen's every move to me last week. I can't go on like this. The relationship between them will only become more and more deformed, and the entanglement will become deeper and deeper, and one day, we will all be destroyed by each other."

And he must rein in the precipice before that, he will absolutely not allow such a thing to happen.

Ever since Zhou Nanchen's arm was broken, he often suffered from insomnia. Even when he fell asleep, he would always be awakened by nightmares, dreaming that Zhou Nanchen would die in front of his eyes in various ways, and before he died, he would hold his hand and smile at him.

If this continues, he is afraid that one day these thorns entangled between them will lead them to an irreversible end.

He must hold the initiative in his own hands and never allow this kind of ending.

"Okay then. I'll prescribe risperidone and anti-anxiety drugs for auxiliary treatment." Dr. Chen sighed, stood up, and found a prescription from the drawer, "I will respect the patient's request, but you If there is any abnormality in the process of taking the medicine, you must call me to report it immediately, did you hear me?"

"Thank you." Zhang Qing breathed a sigh of relief, "By the way, doctor, I have one more request. Can you not tell my agent about the prescription?"

Dr. Chen nodded, "If you wish, I will keep it a secret for you."

"Thank you." Zhang Qing said sincerely.