paranoid dependence

Shen Nian found that her acting skills could actually be very good.

At least this time when he returned to the rental house, Gu Zhi didn't see any difference in him, although he did spend a lot of time adjusting before returning.

"Why is it so late?" Gu Zhi jumped out of the small bedroom to look at him when he heard the door ring, "I thought you didn't want me anymore."

Shen Nian glanced at him, and could see the panic covered by Gu Zhi's calmness. He must have been thinking a lot during the time he didn't come back.

It's just what on earth was he thinking that he didn't even dare to ask blatantly, and turned into such a cautious temptation?

"Did you do something wrong? Worrying about this all day long." Shen Nian looked at him helplessly: "You have a little confidence in me, okay?"

Gu Zhi looked at him, and the smile on the corner of his mouth was somewhat imperceptibly bitter: "It's because Nian Nian is too important to me, I'm really afraid."

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds, then said aloud:

"Brother Zhi, you are also very important to me."

It was so important that many things could be ignored, even Shen Chongshan's last wish was ignored.

Yes, Shen Nian ignored the so-called Shen Chongshan's last wish that Ning Jia said.Although Shen Nian believed it, was at a loss, and was even close to collapse when he heard it, but he still rebuilt his psychological defense line after a long silence. He said to Ning Jia:

"Even if it's true, what my dad is worried about is that Gu Zhi and I really have something, but from the beginning to the end, you guys think too much, we won't be like you think, so from this point of view, I didn't go against his last wish."

He still couldn't push Gu Zhi back into that shadow.

Gu Zhi didn't want to go back, and he couldn't do without Gu Zhi.

He admitted that what Ning Jia said was the truth, that it would be much more difficult for Gu Zhi to stay by his side, and he couldn't even guarantee that Gu Zhi would not regret his choice today after ten years.

But Shen Nian knew Gu Zhi better than Ning Jia, he knew what Gu Zhi was afraid of and what he wanted.

What Gu Zhi was afraid of was never suffering, what he was afraid of was that no one would see him, care about him, or love him.In essence, Gu Zhi is the same as himself, as long as there is one person who only cares about himself, looking at himself is enough.

None of them are greedy, they only want one.

Ning Jia has indeed changed a lot now, and those reports should not be false, but the shadow she cast on Gu Zhi cannot be erased no matter what, it is also true that Gu Zhi still trembles with fear when it comes to thunderstorms, Shen Nian It is not certain that the love and care she will give Gu Zhi in the future can offset the previous harm.

If not, why bother?

Even if it could, what's the point?Apart from making Ning Jia feel free from guilt, Gu Zhi might not feel happy.

Now he has got what he wants and is very satisfied.

The future is very bitter, and they will take it slowly together, and it will always be fine.

As for his own nightmare, Shen Nian believed that one day it would disappear.

After Gu Zhi's college entrance examination and then leaving, he still has three years, which is enough, these nightmares can't haunt him for that long.

After a brief lunch, Gu Zhi went to do the test papers. He said he didn't care about the senior high school entrance examination, but he still wanted to show Shen Nian that his grades were good enough, so he could rest assured that he would go to Shanghai with him.

After Shen Nian cleaned up the room, she sat next to Gu Zhi to accompany him. After Gu Zhi noticed it, he turned his head around, with surprise in his eyes that no one could ignore:

"You don't have to stay with me, you can go to sleep for a while."

He knew that Shen Nian didn't sleep well last night, and the recording was useless at all.

Shen Nian didn't speak immediately, looked at Gu Zhi, looked into his eyes, he remembered what Ning Jia said just now 'he looks at you very differently', but Shen Nian didn't meet Gu Zhi's eyes until now. , and did not find any difference.

Since the two of them delivered their sincerity, Gu Zhi has always seen himself this way.

Shen Nian was already used to it.

"What is Nian Nian looking at?" Gu Zhi asked him aloud.

"It's nothing." Shen Nian came back to his senses and smiled lightly: "Let's do the questions, it's only been a few days, I'll go to bed when I'm sleepy."

Gu Zhi stared at him for a while, and after making sure that his expression was normal, he responded obediently: "Okay."

Shen Nian was actually a little sleepy, but he didn't want to go to sleep. It was one thing to be afraid of having a nightmare, but on the other hand he knew that Gu Zhi wanted him to be with him.In the past, when he was preparing for the college entrance examination, Gu Zhi sat here with him just like he does now.

Gu Zhi likes to be with him, and he also likes to be with him.

Even if he doesn't say anything or do anything, just staying together quietly, he likes it.

But after all, he didn't have a good rest for two consecutive days, Gu Zhi's grades were very good and he didn't need to teach himself at all, Shen Nian watched Gu Zhi do the questions, looked at him, he was a little dazed, and finally fell down unable to hold on.

"Niannian go to bed and sleep." Gu Zhi reminded him.

"No." Shen Nian said, "I'll lie down for a while."

Gu Zhi seemed to be worried that he would go back to the small bedroom alone to have nightmares, so he didn't insist. Shen Nian could feel that he was still looking at him, and closed his eyes to remind him: "I don't have an answer on my face."

Gu Zhi smiled and looked away, a few seconds later Shen Nian heard the rustling sound of writing.

Maybe this kind of voice is also a different kind of reminder, reminding Gu Zhi to be by his side, so Shen Nian is also very relieved, and he slowly relaxes himself under such peace of mind.

Consciousness is fuzzy, but he clearly knows that he is not asleep, he doesn't want to dream, he doesn't want to worry Gu Zhi, he should do his best to prepare for the high school entrance examination now, as for other things, let's talk about it after the high school entrance examination, Ning Jia also promised not to come before the high school entrance examination excuse me.

All he could think about was the conversation with Ning Jia, and after it was all with Gu Zhi, how could he tell Gu Zhi that he was not going to Shanghai anymore, and how could he persuade him to agree with his actions?

He will definitely not agree, I don't know if the 'obedient' will be useful this time, but no matter how Shen Nian is, it is impossible to give in.

But even if Gu Zhi agrees with his idea, what about Ning Jia?Ninga will definitely come again, what should they do?

Shen Nian currently has no solution to this point.

But there will always be.No one is stuck in place forever.

The solution has not been figured out yet, but the nightmare still comes uninvited, and the recording is useless. After learning of Shen Chongshan's last wish, Gu Zhi's coaxing himself to sleep seems to have become a pressure on Shen Nian. Shen Nian can imagine that at this time Even if Gu Zhi hugged him, it was impossible to drive away those nightmares.

His thoughts changed a little after two consecutive people thought too much, thinking that those shouldn't be.

Gu Zhi lay on the opposite bed, turned his back to him and didn't look at him, as if as long as he didn't look at him, he wouldn't know that he was having a nightmare, and he wouldn't know that he had woken up.

Shen Nian knew that he was not asleep, or that he was woken up by himself, but he was very grateful for Gu Zhi's disguise, so that he didn't have to bother to comfort him in such a situation.

To a certain extent, this made Shen Nian feel relieved for a while.

It was only 4 days before the high school entrance examination, and the two of them tacitly did not mention the nightmare and Ningja. They waited tacitly for the end of the high school entrance examination. It seemed that they both understood that this might be the rare peace between them. up.

The days before the high school entrance examination are repeated every day.During the day, Shen Nian would occasionally go out to buy groceries, cook after coming back, and then accompany Gu Zhi to do homework after dinner. At night, the two of them would chat while lying in bed, and then fall asleep each with their own concerns. Waking up but pretending to be asleep, without any communication, but all looking forward to the night passing quickly.

Faster, faster.

The day before the exam, Gu Zhi's feet were almost healed, and he could not see any problems when he walked. Shen Nian originally wanted him to have a good rest for a day to change his mind and prepare for tomorrow's exam in the best condition, but Gu Zhi did not. , After the meal, I still went to do the test paper.

Shen Nian thought about it, anyway, his feet couldn't let the two of them go out to do something, idle is idle, so let him.

Maybe it's because he hasn't slept well in the past few days, Shen Nian was by his side and couldn't hold on to the ground again, this time before Gu Zhi opened his mouth, Shen Nian took the initiative to say:

"I don't sleep, just lie down for a while, don't worry about me."

"Okay." Gu Zhi smiled and ignored him, and continued to work on the problem.

Shen Nian really didn't intend to go to sleep, he still had a lot of things on his mind, but this time it wasn't about Shen Chongshan, nor Ning Jia. What, when to go out which way to go, check documents and so on.

After going through these things in his mind to make sure there was no problem, Shen Nian listened to the rustling sound coming from beside him and slowly relaxed himself.

He seemed to have fallen asleep, Gu Zhi noticed this when he looked up, and then the desire to do the questions gradually dissipated, and he kept his head on one hand and stared at Shen Nian intently.

Gu Zhi knew that Shen Nian was getting worse and worse, and the nightmares seemed to be getting more and more serious. He watched the nightmares one after another at night made Shen Nian tortured and exhausted. Shen Nian had several nightmares He knew everything, but he didn't say anything, and even pretended not to know on purpose.

In the past, when Nian Nian was haunted by nightmares, Gu Zhi would immediately rush over to comfort him, but now, although he subconsciously wanted to do so, he didn't dare. Every night he could only watch Nian Nian being tortured by nightmares, Finally, he woke up suddenly because of shortness of breath.

And Gu Zhi would close his eyes or turn around before Shen Nian woke up.

He was so distressed that he could hardly breathe, but he didn't dare to go over to comfort him, and he didn't even dare to let Nian Nian know that he was awake.

After he fainted because of his lack of sleep, Gu Zhi knew that he could no longer be the same as before, and at the current stage, his company could not heal Shen Nian, but would become his pressure instead.

How to make him better?Would it be better to leave?

After the exam the day after tomorrow, I will discuss with him to go to Shanghai in advance. I am not sure if it will help his nightmare, but at least it can relieve the pressure on Ningjia, right?Gu Zhi didn't know how Ning Jia found him, but he couldn't be found by her wherever he went, right?

The whole country is so big, and Shanghai is so big, there are always places she can't find.

Gu Zhi secretly made up his mind to do this, and he didn't worry about whether Nian Nian would object at all, because it was just going ahead of schedule, and it didn't conflict with their original plan. If you act like a baby, he will soften his heart.

Nian Nian is really the softest person he has ever met.

In fact, not only is the heart soft, but the lips are also soft.

At some point, his eyes fell on Shen Nian's lips, and he remembered the feeling of touching his lips with his hands last time, and also remembered his plan to bite his lips after the college entrance examination, but this plan was because of Shen Chongshan's death. And shelved for a long time.

But he never forgot.

Gu Zhi knows that the act of touching lips is called kissing, and it's something that only lovers do. He shouldn't do it, and he shouldn't even have such thoughts.

But he likes Shen Nian very much, so much that he wants to kiss him and bite him.

Regarding liking, Gu Zhi never thought of telling Shen Nian now, he was still too young, maybe Nian Nian wouldn't take it seriously at all, he wanted to wait until he was older and stronger, enough to protect Nian Nian from the wind and rain I'll talk about it later.

Some things should be done at that time.

But at this time, seeing Shen Nian falling asleep defenselessly in front of him, thinking that since Ning Jia appeared, even though he hesitated a few times, he still gave himself a guarantee that he would never leave, he couldn't help it Thinking, wondering if Shen Nian also likes herself a little bit?

Even a little bit.

There should be some, right?Otherwise, a cold person like him shouldn't be willing to face this trouble, and he hasn't thought of separating from him until now.

In this case, it shouldn't be a problem to bite yourself?

Once this thought starts, it is very difficult to control it.

"Nian Nian..." Gu Zhi called him softly without any response, so he couldn't help getting closer to Shen Nian: "Nian Nian?"

Still no response, no change in breathing, really fell asleep.

It's rare for Shen Nian to sleep so soundly, Gu Zhi couldn't bear to disturb him, but looking at the lips so close to him, Gu Zhi seemed to be charmed, thinking he just touched them, just to make sure they were still as soft as before , won't disturb Nian Nian.

Just like that, he got closer and closer, so close that he couldn't even breathe.

In the end, it was still a kiss, as soft as I imagined.

Afraid that Nian Nian would find out, Gu Zhi quickly evacuated, sat up straight with his heart beating like thunder, and pretended to do the test, but he almost didn't even know the words on the test paper.

He kissed Shen Nian.

When Gu Zhi calmed down and took a good breath, Shen Nian also moved slightly and stood up. Gu Zhi looked over nervously. Shen Nian was looking at himself. His eyes didn't change from before he fell asleep. He probably didn't notice it. Gu Zhi secretly relaxed. tone.

"Are you awake?" Gu Zhi said with a guilty conscience.

"En." Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi: "Have you finished writing?"

"Not yet." Gu Zhi's gaze fell on the corner of Shen Nian's lips, but he just kissed it without biting, and there was no trace to follow.

When Gu Zhi was looking at Shen Nian, Shen Nian was also looking at him, his eyes were serious and confused, but in the end he gave up and got up from his seat:

"I'll go back to bed and lie down for a while."

"Okay." Gu Zhi actually wanted to go back to the small bedroom with him, but he didn't dare, so he smiled and said to him, "I'll go after I finish the questions."

Shen Nian nodded lightly and went back to the small bedroom.

The room is very small, even in different rooms, some sounds can still be heard clearly, the humming of the fan, the sound of turning the pages of the book, the occasional creaking of the chair, Shen Nian lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling, listening to these The voice didn't feel sleepy at all.

Before Gu Zhi's kiss fell on the corner of his lips, he woke up.