paranoid dependence

You Xiaoyue entered the mourning hall, wearing a long black dress, her hair was pulled into the simplest bun, gentle and cold, she was still the same as before, as beautiful as a person in a painting.

The mourning music in the courtyard has already played again, You Xiaoyue stood in front of Shen Chongshan's coffin and bent down for a long time without getting up, Shen Nian stared at her for a few seconds, then got up indifferently and walked back to the coffin, knelt down and saluted again, still She didn't cry, and there was no difference between You Xiaoyue and others.

Gu Zhi also came over and knelt beside Shen Nian, but his eyes were looking at Shen Nian, afraid that he would feel uncomfortable or hurt.

Later, You Xiaoyue got up, stepped closer to the ice coffin, reached out and touched Shen Chongshan's eyebrows and eyes through the glass, she was extremely gentle.

She looked at Shen Chongshan lying in the ice coffin for a long time, and then slowly looked at the two people who had stood up. She first looked at Gu Zhi, her eyes seemed to be looking at another person through him, when Shen Nian raised her head Seeing You Xiaoyue's gaze, perhaps sensing Shen Nian's gaze, You Xiaoyue slowly looked at Shen Nian.

His eyes were indifferent without any emotion.

You Xiaoyue walked over silently for a moment, Shen Nian was still hesitating what to call her, but You Xiaoyue had already spoken, but the words were not addressed to Shen Nian.

"You are Gu Ming's son?" You Xiaoyue looked at Gu Zhi.

Shen Nian's hand hanging by his side curled up subconsciously, and there was no other reaction.

Ever since You Xiaoyue entered the mourning hall, Gu Zhi had never cared about this person at all, never even glanced at her. He heard her mention the name he didn't want to hear the most, and his dislike for her deepened. He turned his head Looking at the face similar to Shen Nian, he didn't understand why the one in front of him was so annoying.

"What does it have to do with you?"

"It's nothing." You Xiaoyue was retorted in an unfriendly way, but she still had no emotions, and seemed to be tolerant of Gu Zhi: "I've been hearing about you from Chongshan, and I want to make sure."

Gu Zhi frowned slightly when he heard the words, he didn't expect the two divorced people to keep in touch frequently, and he didn't expect Shen Chongshan to mention himself to You Xiaoyue, so what about Shen Nian?He subconsciously looked at Shen Nian, but there was no change in Shen Nian, standing there silently, being ignored by You Xiaoyue.

Gu Zhi took Shen Nian's hand.

Everyone thought that since You Xiaoyue appeared, she should say a few words to Shen Nian, even if it was just a "sorry", but she didn't, she didn't even look at him except for the look before she walked over Taking a look at Shen Nian, it was as if she hadn't noticed this person at all.

After meeting again after six years, Shen Nian was still completely ignored by her, just like the 11 years he lived by You Xiaoyue's side.

You Xiaoyue saw that Gu Zhi had no intention of talking to her, so she didn't bother herself, but when she turned to leave, she inadvertently saw Gu Zhi and Shen Nian holding hands together, she was silent for a few seconds, and didn't say anything after all. , or if he didn't want to say it at this time, he turned and walked towards the door, as if he was about to leave.

When You Xiaoyue stepped out of the north room, Gu Zhi almost wanted to catch her back. For some reason, You Xiaoyue clearly didn't say a word to Shen Nian, but Gu Zhi was sure that his Nian Nian would become more serious because of this ignorance. Self-denial.

But even if Gu Zhi goes to arrest You Xiaoyue now, what's the point?Will she care about Shen Nian and love him?Will not.Even if she can be forced to put on a show, Shen Nian is not a fool, he won't fail to feel it.

"Nian Nian..." Gu Zhi called out in a low voice, Shen Nian waited for a few seconds before hooking the corners of his lips, and knelt down again.

Under the insistence of Liang Qiu and Gu Zhi, Shen Nian changed his posture and did not kneel again. He leaned against the wall and looked at a place without focus, his heart was in a mess, but what was certain was that Shen Nian hated the current self, he He didn't understand why when he heard Liang Qiu say that You Xiaoyue was coming, he had a faint expectation for this woman.

He expected You Xiaoyue to give him a hand.

But You Xiaoyue just glanced at herself, no different from looking at a stranger.

why? After 11 years of ignorance and six years of separation, why does he still have expectations for You Xiaoyue?Just because she is a mother?

And why did he forget that he was a child abandoned by his mother?

At some point, her gaze fell on Shen Chongshan's body again, and she thought of You Xiaoyue's eyes when she touched Shen Chongshan's ice coffin.

She should like Shen Chongshan, Shen Nian thought.

As for why they separated after liking each other, Shen Nian didn't know, it was an adult's world, he couldn't see through it.

Gu Zhi had been sitting next to Shen Nian and wanted to talk to him, but Liang Qiu called him to stop after he called out twice, "Forget it."

"He'll think about it." Gu Zhi said, "He'll hate himself even more."

Before he had experienced these things, Shen Nian might not have too vivid feelings, he would not even think of You Xiaoyue, but now that he has experienced so much, and You Xiaoyue is standing in front of him again, he will realize more clearly that he is A child that even his mother doesn't like.

"If our words were useful, he wouldn't be like this." Liang Qiu also blushed with distress: "Let's wait until the funeral is over, maybe it will be better after the end."

After that day, no matter who comes into the mourning hall, their eyes will be swept over Shen Nian's face, as if looking at him, or wanting to find out the relationship with You Xiaoyue from his face, Shen Nian doesn't care about dead trees He just sat there and let everyone watch, but Gu Zhi couldn't bear it, but at this time he couldn't ask Shen Nian to wear a mask, so he could only put himself on guard, whenever someone came in, he would lean over to block Shen Nian , so that they can no longer see the possibility.

After dinner, Shen Nian vomited again, Liang Qiu and Gu Zhi both watched Shen Nian who vomited but was still retching in the bathroom.

"He's always been like this?" Liang Qiu asked.

"Yeah." Gu Zhi patted his back and handed Shen Nian water to rinse his mouth: "Eat or not, it's been three days."

When it came to the end, Gu Zhi's voice choked up, which was a signal of distress but powerlessness.

After Shen Nian calmed down the turbulence in her stomach, she turned her head to look at him, with a pale face, but still smiled at him and said, "I'm fine."

Everyone knew that it was impossible for Shen Nian to be fine, but no one could do anything about it. This was a heart disease, and none of them could save it.

Later in the evening, the people in the small courtyard almost dispersed and quieted down. Shen Nian was also an individual, and sometimes he couldn't hold on. He leaned against the wall and fell asleep in a daze. Not long after sleeping, he saw Shen Chongshan He sat up from the ice coffin, walked towards him with a pale face, picked him up like a chicken and threw him into the ice coffin, telling him:

"It's you the damned one!"

The ice coffin was covered, and Shen Nian couldn't breathe. He saw Shen Chongshan outside the ice coffin, and also saw You Xiaoyue who didn't know when to come. This time she looked at him, and they all looked at him with smiles on their faces. It seems very satisfied with this result.

"Nian Nian, Nian Nian..." When a voice came from a distant place, Shen Nian was also able to escape from the dream. He subconsciously looked in Shen Chongshan's direction, and only then did he clearly realize that everything just now was just a field dream.

But knowing that it was a dream, Shen Nian did not feel relaxed.

For a moment, he would rather it be true, and he felt that lying there would not be more difficult than it is now.

"Nian Nian..." Gu Zhi called out to him worriedly, Shen Nian turned around and looked over.

"You're having nightmares again." Gu Zhi said distressedly.

"En." Shen Nian responded lightly, and leaned back again, but he didn't know if it was because he had lingering fears and felt uncomfortable. Gu Zhi saw through him and wanted him to lean on him. Liang Qiu from Liang Chunchao came back and sat next to him. He said that he would stay here to accompany Shen Nian for the next few days. Gu Zhi was actually a little upset, but he didn't show even the slightest resistance.

He knew that this was the only friend of Shen Nian, and the only ones who could accompany Shen Nian were himself and Liang Qiu. He hoped that Shen Nian would recover soon, as to whether he brought him to recovery by himself, it didn't seem to matter.

When Gu Zhi wanted to continue the action just now and let Shen Nian lean on his body, Shen Nian who had been silent all this time suddenly opened his mouth and asked, "Where is my father's belongings?"

Gu Zhi looked at him: "It's in my backpack."

"I want to see." Shen Nian said.

"I'll get it for you." Gu Zhi's tone was a little excited, there was no particular reason, he simply felt that it was a good thing that Shen Nian could take the initiative to speak and want to see something.

From Shen Chongshan's death to the present, Shen Nian's mood has not eased, and there are many things, he has no time to think about these things. Now that he has just recovered from a dream, Shen Nian dare not close his eyes again, so he thought of it This, he wanted to see if Shen Chongshan had anything for himself.

Gu Zhi took the backpack back and sat down again, while opening the zipper, he said, "Actually, it's nothing, just a mobile phone and a wallet."

When he finished speaking, he had already taken out these two items and handed them to Shen Nian.

Shen Chongshan's mobile phone is a Nokia that has been used for several years. The numbers on the keyboard are worn out and cannot be read clearly. There is nothing in it except the phone book and text messages.

From the time You Xiaoyue said the phrase 'I've been hearing Chongshan mentioning you', Shen Nian knew that they must have been in contact, and very frequently. At this time, he saw that there were indeed many text messages between the two in the text box. Concerned about Shen Chongshan's body, and Shen Chongshan would often talk to You Xiaoyue about the situation of Shen Nian and Gu Zhi, but You Xiaoyue's reply was always only to Gu Zhi, Shen Nian seemed to be ignored by her.

There was even a point where she explicitly told Shen Chongshan: I don't want to know any more news about that child.

Shen Nian didn't look at it any more, turned off the phone, and picked up Shen Chongshan's wallet like a normal person, in the wallet was a few banknotes and a photo.

He never thought that there would be a photo in Shen Chongshan's wallet, or a photo with another man.

There are obvious creases in the middle of the photo. Shen Nian took the photo out from the interlayer, but unexpectedly found that it was actually a group photo of three people. There was a woman between Shen Chongshan and another man, but Shen Chongshan used the folded way masked.

"This..." Liang Qiu didn't know when he came over, and let out a slight surprise.

In a daze, Shen Nian seemed to understand something, why Shen Chongshan had such a big reaction when he saw Gu Zhi sleeping with him, why he even ignored the college entrance examination and hinted at himself, why he was worried about the relationship between himself and Gu Zhi. What's in between.At first, Shen Nian didn't understand why Shen Chongshan had such a strange idea, but now it seems that he has an answer.

He couldn't love him all his life and lived a very hard life, so he was worried that he and Gu Zhi would repeat his mistakes.

Shen Chongshan in the photo is still in his early 20s, wearing a white shirt, youthful and bookish, the person standing next to him is about his age, the woman in the middle is holding another man's hand, smiling brightly, and Shen Chongshan's eyes were on that person, even in the photos, one could see how gentle those eyes were.

The man Shen Chongshan looked at looked familiar, as if he had seen him somewhere.

"It's a bit like Gu Zhi." Liang Qiu said, looking at Gu Zhi: "Is it related to you?"

Gu Zhi is actually not interested in Shen Chongshan's relics, looking at them is more interesting than looking at Shen Nian, but he heard Liang Qiu's words, so he had to look at the photo, and was stunned at just one glance Without hesitation, he snatched the photo from Shen Nian's hand and checked it carefully before his eyes.

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi: "You know him?"

Gu Zhi didn't answer right away, he seemed to be repeatedly confirming whether what he saw was true, but in the end he gave up, he couldn't deceive himself to say no.

"My parents." Gu Zhi said.

In fact, Shen Chongshan is Gu Ming's good friend. After he left, he took Gu Zhi to take care of him. Having a group photo is a very common thing, but I don't know why Gu Zhi felt that something was wrong, especially when he folded the photo. After getting up, there were only Shen Chongshan and Gu Ming.

Gu Zhi stared at the crease, and the two of them took a long time to return the photo to Shen Nian.

Shen Nian took it over, and he also understood why Shen Chongshan took Gu Zhi by his side to take care of him after Gu Zhi's father passed away, why he was so kind to him, and why Shen Nian often felt that the way Shen Chongshan looked at Gu Zhi was looking at another person. one person.

It turned out that this is the case.

When Shen Nian folded the photo and put it back on the interlayer, Gu Zhi asked strangely:

"So, does Uncle Shen like Gu Ming?"

That look, that crease is so weird.

Shen Nian didn't answer this question, and Gu Zhi didn't seem to care and continued to ask: "So boys...you can like boys, right?"

Shen Nian turned to look at Gu Zhi, Gu Zhi also looked at Shen Nian, there was something different in his eyes, Shen Nian couldn't describe it specifically, but he subconsciously didn't like this change, and even regretted looking at the relic at this time up.

Shen Nian staggered his gaze and did not answer his question.

No one responded to Gu Zhi's words. After staring at Gu Zhi for a few seconds, Liang Qiu gave up thinking and closed his eyes. He leaned back against the wall, as if he was going to sleep, and Gu Zhi just stared at Gu Zhi in such silence. Shen Nian watched for a long time, no one knew what he was thinking, except himself.