paranoid dependence

To be honest, even though Shen Nian knew that Gu Zhi was different from ordinary children, he never thought that he would do this, especially when he was caught straight, but there was no shame or embarrassment on his face. He waited here deliberately to let himself see, the way he looked at himself seemed to tell himself:

Look, you got me in trouble and asked me to dump it myself.

Shen Nian didn't speak, Gu Zhi just looked at him like that, poured out all the fruit tea in the plastic cup, then walked over and stood in front of Shen Nian, Shen Nian was standing on the steps, Gu Zhi was obviously lower than himself A lot, but Shen Nian still felt that he was overwhelmed.

"Brother Niannian." Gu Zhi smiled and said, "Don't be nice to me, otherwise how would I do it?"

"What are you going to do?" Shen Nian asked him.

"You guess."

Shen Nian couldn't guess, he had never come into contact with people like Gu Zhi, he had never even met him, let alone know what they were thinking.

Shen Nian didn't speak, Gu Zhi just looked at him like that, in the end Shen Nian was defeated from the confrontation and looked away, Shen Chongshan came out of the kitchen at this time and saw the two of them at the door Standing, a little surprised:

"What are you standing there for?"

Gu Zhi slowly put away the smile he had when facing Shen Nian, turned his head to look at Shen Chongshan and changed into that very obedient look again:

"Uncle Shen, I'm telling brother Niannian that the fruit tea he bought is delicious."

"Finish?" Shen Chongshan saw the empty cup in Gu Zhi's hand, and was a little surprised: "It's so fast, don't you like it? Then let your brother Xiao Nian buy it for you when you want to drink."

"Okay." Gu Zhi said happily, then looked back at Shen Nian, and asked him, "Is that okay? Brother Nian Nian."

Shen Nian saw that he didn't speak, but he already had an answer in his heart, no, this was the last time he showed his kindness to Gu Zhi.

The electricity was cut off at the hottest time at noon, and the meal was also very tormented. Shen Nian didn't eat much because his appetite was affected by various things. Shen Chongshan didn't eat much, but it was because he fanned Gu Zhi all the time. I'm afraid he's getting hot, which will affect his appetite.

Originally thought that the power outage this time would be the same as before, and it would not come until evening, but not long after eating, the ceiling fan above his head started to turn, Shen Chongshan looked up to confirm that the power was indeed coming, and urged Gu Get up:

"There's a call, go back to the room quickly, who knows if there will be another power outage in a while, and it will be cool for a while."

After saying this, he remembered something, glanced at Shen Nian who was helping to clean up the dishes, and then spoke to Gu Zhi, this time it was not like just now, with a tone of discussion:

"Xiao Zhi, it's so hot, let Brother Xiao Nian also go to your room to sleep for a while, okay? He bought you fruit tea, just take it as a thank you?"

Shen Nian didn't expect Shen Chongshan to say that, he subconsciously raised his head and wanted to refuse, saying that he didn't need it, but before the words came to his lips, Gu Zhi nodded with a smile and said:

"Okay."

Shen Chongshan was originally afraid of Gu Zhi's reluctance, but now that Gu Zhi nodded and agreed, Shen Chongshan heaved a sigh of relief, praised Gu Zhi again and again, then grabbed the bowls and chopsticks from Shen Nian's hands and said:

"Then go, don't wait until the power goes out."

Gu Zhi responded, and said "Uncle Shen has worked hard" before walking back to the north room. Shen Nian stood there silently for a few seconds and couldn't think of what he could say to Shen Chongshan, so he had to go back first.

Shen Chongshan asked Shen Nian to go to Gu Zhi's room out of distress or guilt, Shen Nian didn't know, but he knew that Gu Zhi's promise was not sincere, so even if he went back to the North Room, he returned without stopping at all own room.

"You're smart." When Shen Nian was about to enter the room, Gu Zhi spoke behind him, Shen Nian stopped and looked back at him, Gu Zhi smiled at him, and said: "But I like smart people, stupid ones Not fun."

Shen Nian didn't say anything, and entered the room.

Later, Shen Chongshan came to Shen Nian's room when he packed up the kitchen and entered the north room. Shen Nian was sitting at the desk writing papers. Hearing the sound, he looked back at Shen Chongshan and knew what he was going to say, so he opened his mouth in advance:

"Dad, I'll do my homework for a while, you can go and sleep with Gu Zhi."

Shen Chongshan stopped talking, but he didn't say anything more.

Gu Zhi stayed at Shen's house like this, Shen Nian didn't feel much except sleeping in another room.He tried his best to avoid his stubbornness and didn't have any contact with him. He really couldn't get along with such a child.

That cup of fruit tea was already the last thing he could do to change the relationship between himself and Gu Zhi.He doesn't need it, so forget it.

As for Shen Chongshan and Gu Zhi, they didn't seem to have a running-in period, and they had been getting along very happily. Gu Zhi trusted and relied on Shen Chongshan, and they were almost inseparable at home, and they had to be together when they went out. The later one.

But even so, Shen Nian didn't want to fight to change anything.

The relationship between him and Shen Chongshan was originally weak, perhaps because Shen Chongshan was away from home for a long time, their way of getting along has long been subtly changed to communicate only when necessary, not to mention that Shen Chongshan was away most of the time, Even at home, most of the two people are still silent.

If he were to mend the relationship between himself and Shen Chongshan now, Shen Nian would be awkward and unwilling.

He has long been used to being alone.

It's not that I don't want to be cared for and loved, and some things missed that opportunity, even if I can get it back later, it may not be what I wanted at first.

I didn't ask for it when I was alone, and I don't even want to fight for him now.

It's just that sometimes watching their getting along, Shen Nian couldn't help but wonder if they were real father and son. He had seen Liang Qiu get along with his father, and it was like this.

It was raining lightly in the afternoon, and the air was filled with the smell of earth. Shen Nian was dozing off in the room, but he woke up in a daze as if he had stepped on the space, and then he couldn't sleep anymore, so he got up He walked out of the room and wanted to get some air, but he didn't expect to see Shen Chongshan standing at the door looking out the door just as he walked out of the room.

I don't know when he stood there, let alone what he was thinking.

Shen Nian didn't even think about disturbing him, and was about to go back to the room, but at this moment, Shen Chongshan heard a voice and looked back at him:

"Xiao Nian, come here, Dad has something to discuss with you."

Shen Nian walked over, there were two bamboo benches by the door, one for each person.

The rain was still light, and the ground was not wet yet. It was precisely because of this that the earthy smell in the air was so strong, but it was still cooler than the house, so it was not particularly tormenting.

"Father doesn't want to go out for sports cars anymore." Shen Chongshan said.

Shen Nian looked away from the pot of Phalaenopsis, looked back at Shen Chongshan, and said nothing.

Ever since Shen Nian could remember, Shen Chongshan seemed to be working as a truck driver, and he hadn't changed anything for so many years. It's not that Shen Nian didn't want him to change, it's just that he wanted to change at this time unexpectedly.

Shen Chongshan smiled: "Xiaozhi has been very dependent on me since he came home. If I leave at this time, I'm afraid he won't be used to it, and it will be too hard for him to be in charge of you. You will be in high school in one year. , you should study hard, I have been letting you stay at home all these years and be looked after by neighbors, I am not very relieved, so I just took this opportunity and didn't go out."

If Shen Chongshan was only worried about his hard work, Shen Nian would tell him that there was no need, but Shen Nian did not say, because most of the reason why Shen Chongshan quit his job was because of Gu Zhi, and he didn't want to leave Gu Zhi.

So in the end, Shen Nian looked at the pot of Phalaenopsis and said, "It's pretty good."

"I've almost found a job, and your Uncle Zhang helped introduce it." Shen Chongshan said, "It's the factory behind our alley. They lack a delivery driver, so they deliver in the city and surrounding areas. I sell the truck. If I change to a smaller box, I can come back on the same day, and although I don’t earn as much as before, at least I can be with you and Xiaozhi.”

"Delivery is also very hard." Shen Nian said: "Dad wait for me for a few more years, when I grow up and work, you can rest and enjoy yourself at home."

Shen Chongshan probably didn't expect Shen Nian to say that, he was stunned for a moment, then laughed, raised his hand and rubbed Shen Nian's head:

"Dad doesn't need you to support the family, not even how good your grades are, or how good you are in a university. Dad just wants you to grow up happily and be healthy. I will do the rest. .”

Shen Nian smiled lightly and didn't say anything.

"I have agreed with the factory tomorrow that I will go to try out a job for a day. You and Xiaozhi are at home. Thank you for your hard work."

"It should." Shen Nian said.

Although the weather was not very good, Shen Chongshan's words made Shen Nian feel that this was a rare afternoon that was comfortable from inside to outside, and even the earthy smell in the air was not so disturbing. In fact, I still want some things that I have never had. As long as I touch it a little bit, it will be like licking a mouthful of honey.

The taste can stay in memory for a long time.

Shen Chongshan sat with Shen Nian for a while and yawned, Shen Nian told him to go back to his room to sleep, Shen Chongshan might be really tired, so he didn't refuse, got up and left.

Shen Nian sat for a while, as if recalling the feeling just now, but it didn't take long, when the rain stopped, he also got up.

The sky did not reveal the sun because the rain stopped, as if it was planning a heavy rain.Shen Nian went to the small courtyard and moved the pot of Phalaenopsis under the eaves. When she stepped into the house, she found that the door of Gu Zhi's room had been opened at some point, and Gu Zhi, who was taking a nap, was standing at the door watching Looking at him, he didn't have a weird smile this time, but directly exposed his most real emotions, dissatisfaction and anger.

Coupled with the gloomy weather, it is really hard to feel good.

"Niannian brother." Gu Zhi said, "Don't get too close to him, I'm not happy."

Shen Nian stared at him for a few seconds, left without saying a word.

This is not the first time that Gu Zhi expressed his unhappiness to Shen Nian.

During this period of getting along, perhaps it was because Shen Chongshan had been with him at home, Gu Zhi was normal most of the time, except for the incident on the day of fruit tea, Shen Nian rarely saw him like that again, but not No.

Whenever he and Shen Chongshan got too close like before, or when Shen Chongshan showed concern for him, or when neighbors came to remind Shen Chongshan not to forget that he was his own son, Gu Zhi would always treat him again. With that uncomfortable look in his eyes, he will be more clingy and dependent on Shen Chongshan.

Shen Nian originally didn't understand these behaviors of his, but the strange thing is that now that there are gradually traceable rules, Shen Nian actually feels that he understands some stubborn abnormalities.

He probably realized that after his parents died one after another and became an orphan, he found that he had no one to rely on, and the appearance of Shen Chongshan was the only life-saving straw in the world for him, allowing him to have a family. like a normal kid.

He wants to hold on to it more firmly, more tightly, and more of his own.And Shen Chongshan's concern for himself and the words of others probably made him feel in danger of being sent away.

He will not think that he is an outsider in this family, nor will he think about whether his behavior has hurt anyone, let alone think about whether it should be done or not, because if he thinks that way, many things will happen. would not exist.

What Gu Zhi said to himself before was probably to drive him away from home and make Shen Chongshan himself. Although it sounds ridiculous and whimsical, Shen Nian believed that Gu Zhi would do this.

He just wants to get what he wants.

As for why Shen Nian understood him, maybe it was because he once wanted to hold tightly in his hands what he liked and wanted.

It just didn't work out.

When Shen Nian got up the next day, Shen Chongshan had already left, leaving a note asking him to take care of Gu Zhi.

Since the light rain at noon yesterday, the weather has been gloomy. It was only 7 o'clock at this time, and it was already so stuffy that people couldn't breathe. It seemed that a heavy rain could be suppressed at any time.

Shen Nian washed up and went to the kitchen to make breakfast, only to find that Shen Chongshan had already prepared most of the work, even the shredded potatoes were wiped. Shen Nian originally wanted to scramble eggs, but in the end he boiled the shredded potatoes and served them cold .

After preparing breakfast and returning to the north room, he saw Gu Zhi standing at the door of Shen Chongshan's room, and he turned around when he heard the voice:

"Has Uncle Shen gone out?"

"En." Shen Nian replied, "You should have heard it yesterday."

"If you go to work in the future, will you leave so early every day?" Gu Zhi asked seriously, as if he cared about this question very much.

Shen Nian looked at him and said, "I don't know."

"I don't like it." Gu Zhi said, "I don't like it very much."

It can be seen that his dislike seems to have spread to every strand of hair, and no one can ignore it.But Shen Nian can't comfort him, he won't need it.

Sure enough, within a few seconds, Gu Zhi changed his face, as if the previous dislike didn't exist at all, he looked at Shen Nian with a smile, and asked him:

"I'm hungry, does brother Niannian have something to eat?"

In the small dining room of the kitchen, Gu Zhi was sitting opposite Shen Nian, looking at the cold potato shreds on the dining table, that uncomfortable smile appeared again, he looked up at Shen Nian:

"Did Uncle Shen ask you to make it for me? Or did you do it yourself?"

Shen Nian didn't speak, just ate. Seeing this, Gu Zhi's smile deepened. He propped his arms on the table and his chin with both hands. Looking at Shen Nian, he looked like an innocent and ignorant child, but Shen Nian saw Yes, I just feel hairy.

"Brother Nian Nian, are you flattering me?" Gu Zhi said, "You are so kind that I am too embarrassed to do anything."

"You won't." Shen Nian said.

The interest on Gu Zhi's face became more intense: "Why?"

Shen Nian didn't speak, and continued to eat.Gu Zhi's interest did not slow down at all because of Shen Nian's silence, he just looked at Shen Nian like that:

"You're right, I really won't stop doing it because of the kindness you gave me, but you will continue to be kind to me before I make it, okay? I like that you are kind to me."

Shen Nian looked up at him, Gu Zhi also looked at him, his eyes were full of innocence, Shen Nian wanted to ask him how stupid he looked, knowing what you wanted to do to me, but I want to be nice to you too.

It's just that this sentence was not asked, because God finally couldn't hold his breath at this moment, and a dull thunder fell. Shen Nian was not afraid but was still a little frightened. He glanced out the window, and the sky was getting darker. It was also quite dark, he got up and turned on the light, but when he turned around, he saw that the complacent Gu Zhi had turned pale.

He was not frightened by the sudden noise, but he was afraid of thunder.

When the thunder sounded again, Gu Zhi not only turned pale, but even trembled all over his body. He stared straight ahead, as if he was looking at something terrifying. He seemed to be nailed there, trapped in the In a situation where you can't move, you can only be forced to face fear.

Because of Gu Zhi's abnormality, Shen Nian has seen many sides of Gu Zhi, eerie, innocent, calculating, and cute, but he has never seen Gu Zhi's current side, but Shen Nian feels that Gu Zhi at this moment Is the most real him.

It turns out that the devil is also afraid sometimes.

Shen Nian didn't understand Gu Zhi, didn't know what happened to him, Shen Chongshan was not at home, but Gu Zhi's state was really worrying, but he didn't know what to do.

At this moment, the long-planned rain finally fell outside the window. Raindrops the size of copper coins hit the glass, crackling as if it could shatter at any time. Shen Nian didn't care, but Gu Zhi seemed to have moved on After recovering from the state, he got up, looking for something like a headless chicken.

He opened the cabinet and tried to drill in, but there were too many things in it, and there were partitions, even though he was 12 years old and a child, he still couldn't get in.

The kitchen was not that big, there was no other place to hide except the cupboard, Gu Zhi was very anxious and was already sweating profusely.

"If you want to hide, there are more places in the North House." Shen Nian said.

Gu Zhi was obviously stunned for a moment, then turned his head and ran out the door, ignoring the heavy rain outside, and rushed directly into the north room, as fast as if something was chasing him.

Shen Nian didn't continue to eat, and followed the corridor back to the north room. Of course he could let it go, but at least he had to ensure his safety, even if it was for Shen Chongshan.

Shen Nian originally thought that Gu Zhi would hide in his own room, which was a place he was familiar with, but Shen Nian went to his room to look for him, only to find that he was not in the room.

Neither under the bed nor in the closet.

Shen Nian went to Shen Chongshan's room, but he still didn't see him, so in the whole north room, apart from the living room, there was only Shen Nian's hut.

Shen Nian went back to her room and turned on the light.

His room is the same as the living room, and it can be seen at a glance, but the living room is because it is empty, while his room is because it is small, and there are winter bedding and clothes in the closet, even if Gu Zhi wants to get in, there is no gap, so Shen Nian Found him under the bed.

I don't know if it's because the room is small that it makes him feel more secure.

He curled up and buried his head in his arms, his whole body was still shaking, every time there was thunder outside, Gu Zhi's breathing would stop for a moment.

Shen Nian didn't know why Gu Zhi did this, but he didn't seem to be able to help, and Gu Zhi didn't say anything, maybe he felt safe hiding here, Shen Nian didn't want to disturb him, and wanted to leave after making sure he was fine up.

But at this moment, the lights above the head went out, and the power went out again.

That's right, this village in the city not only has electricity outages, but also occasionally stops when it is windy and rainy.

But Shen Nian remembered that when he came in to look for him just now, he didn't turn on the light in the room, Gu Zhi probably didn't need it too much, so Shen Nian still wanted to leave, but when he got up, someone grabbed his trousers.

Tightly, as if grasping the last barrier between him and fear.

Shen Nian looked down at that hand, hesitated for a few seconds between leaving and sitting down, and finally sat on the side of the bed.

He can go, based on Gu Zhi's attitude towards him, not to mention being with him, there is nothing wrong with watching a joke, but Shen Nian never takes pleasure in other's misfortunes, he himself is a disaster.It's not very kind to stay, it's just that he is stuck in his room, and he doesn't seem to have anywhere to go.

On a cloudy day, the already dark hut was like the night. Shen Nian sat by the bed and looked at the opposite window. The rain was still heavy, and it seemed that it would not stop for a while, accompanied by thunder from time to time. Every time there was thunder, the hands holding his trousers became tighter.

Shen Nian let him hold it, as if he didn't feel it.

The sound of the rain was not low, but Shen Nian could still hear Gu Zhi crying, the intermittent sobbing mixed with the sound of the rain was actually not clear, but Shen Nian was too close to him, close enough to be able to hear clearly.

He didn't say anything, as if he didn't hear it.

Shen Nian herself actually doesn't like rainy days very much.

He was also very scared when it rained before. Although he wasn't like Gu Zhi, he was still uncomfortable facing the sudden thunder. Stay in the same space.

But now he is no longer afraid, and he has no expectations for a long time.

The rain lasted for a while, and it didn't get smaller until the afternoon, and the thunder stopped in the second half, but Gu Zhi didn't let go of Shen Nian's trousers, and Shen Nian let him hold on. Gu Zhi didn't let go of his hand until the rain stopped and the sun peeked out from behind the dark clouds, illuminating the entire room brightly.

Shen Nian glanced at the wrinkled and wet trousers, got up, and left the room.

The rest of the day was very peaceful, Shen Nian went to the kitchen to heat up the unfinished meal in the morning, Gu Zhi also came over to eat together, but he never said anything strange like in the morning, he just ate quietly With rice, like a frosted eggplant.

Seeing him like this, Shen Nian smiled slowly.Looking up at the sunny sky outside the window, I suddenly felt that it was actually a good rainy day.