paranoid dependence

Miss brother.

Because of this title, Shen Nian was stunned for a moment, after all, he hadn't heard Gu Zhi call him that for a long time.

He would only call himself that when he was trying to pretend. It sounded intimate, but he was just pretending to be obedient.

Shen Nian didn't think about what Gu Zhi meant when he called out this name, because no matter what it meant, it was his own fault and there was no reason for it.

"I'm sorry Gu Zhi, I couldn't come back yesterday."

The smile on Gu Zhi's face remained unchanged, but he didn't respond. He maintained that posture and expression and looked at Shen Nian for a long time, as if he wanted to see something from his face, but in the end he seemed to have failed, or in other words, He didn't want to believe what he saw.

So he got up and walked towards Shen Nian, wanting to see more clearly:

"How did Brother Niannian promise me yesterday? You said you would come back early, I waited for you all night, where are you? What are you doing? Huh?"

At this moment, the oppressive feeling from Gu Zhi's body was too strong, Shen Nian almost subconsciously wanted to back away, but he held back, he stood still and watched Gu Zhi approach him step by step, and finally stood in front of him.

"Did you have fun?" Gu Zhi asked him with a smile: "I haven't seen you for such a long time, you should be very happy, right? If you are happy, you forget about me."

"I'm sorry." Shen Nian apologized again: "I didn't know in advance that he was going to take me up the mountain, I thought I could come back."

"That's it..." Gu Zhi nodded when he heard the words, but he didn't seem to believe what he said at all, and he didn't care about his reason at all. He looked at Shen Nian with a gentle and cold look in his eyes: "Since brother Nian Nian I also feel that I have done something wrong, so how can I make up for it?"

He said this because he already had a plan and thought about the compensation he wanted:

"What do you want me to do?"

"What do I miss, can I do it?" Gu Zhi tilted his head and looked at him.

What Gu Zhi wanted, Shen Nian could probably guess, so he didn't answer, but Gu Zhi didn't seem to care, he just said:

"I won't see him in the future, okay? I don't like you contacting him, and I don't like you seeing him. This is the last time, okay?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, and at a certain moment, Shen Nian's familiar cuteness appeared. This seemed to be a signal from Gu Zhi. care about.

Reason told Shen Nian that he should agree, and only if he agreed, the little lunatic would calm down, and no more crazy things would happen.

But after agreeing?Can he really see Liang Qiu?

Impossible, no matter before or now, he never thought of giving up Liang Qiu as a friend.What if he and Liang Qiu meet again?What would Gu Zhi's reaction be when he said that he couldn't do it again?

So he can't agree.

"Isn't it enough for me to be with you? What can he give you? Ten days of company, chatting with you, taking you to eat, and then? After ten days? He still has to leave, and your side also It's still just me, and it's not a good deal to not want me for more than ten days." Gu Zhi moved closer to him, so close that he could see himself in the other person's eyes: "Brother Nian Nian is a smart person, he wouldn't do that. chosen, right?"

Shen Nian didn't speak, and Gu Zhi didn't force him, he just waited quietly, he seemed to have enough time and patience, but also some confidence to wait for Shen Nian to nod.

But as time passed, Shen Nian never spoke, and the disappointment in Gu Zhi's eyes became more and more obvious, even the fake smile on his face faded, and finally only cold remained.

"Isn't it possible?" Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, but his words seemed to be muttering to himself: "Why can't it be done? I've done it, is it that difficult?"

"Gu Zhi..." Shen Nian sighed slightly in his heart, and explained softly to him: "I grew up with Liang Qiu, and he helped me a lot. Liang Qiu was with me when you didn't show up. He was the one who suffered the most for me. Without him, I might have gone crazy long ago. I couldn’t wait for you to appear. To me, Liang Qiu is my family and my elder brother. I can’t and I don’t want to give up on this friend. He is very important to me, can you understand?"

"I can't." Gu Zhi gave him the answer without any pause, and stepped back a little to distance himself: "I don't have any friends. I've been alone all these years. I'm already crazy. People pull me, brother Nian Nian, how do I understand? What else do I understand?"

Shen Nian opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say at this moment.

"Brother Niannian." Gu Zhi looked at him with doubts in his eyes: "I told you when you said you wanted to accompany each other, and if you want me to accompany you, you can only be mine, you promise it, right?"

"...Yes." Shen Nian said, "I agree."

"But you didn't make it." When the result was announced, Gu Zhi's lips trembled slightly, as if he was also afraid of the result.

After Shen Nian saw it, he wanted to stretch out his hand to comfort him, but Gu Zhi took a step back, avoiding Shen Nian's touch.

She has always liked Shen Nian to touch him to hold his Gu Zhi, and rejected Shen Nian's extended hand.

"I can't do it... I can't do it, can I?" He muttered to himself, stepped back to the dining table, and stopped when his feet touched the chair behind him. He looked back, his eyes were on the table Stay on dishes that have been cold for a long time.

He thought of the mood he had when cooking these meals yesterday, and also remembered the feeling of sitting here waiting for Shen Nian, watching the hot dishes turn cold.

It's really hard.

Why is he so stupid, always trusting others again and again?

Gu Zhi smiled lightly, slowly raised his hand, and gently stroked the table with his fingertips, as if he was stroking gently. Shen Nian didn't know what he was thinking, but he knew that letting go like this was not the answer. , he took steps to walk over, but before he could move, he saw Gu Zhi slowly laughing, he said:

"I can't do it... why do I agree if I can't do it?!"

Gu Zhi almost yelled the last few words, like a beast that broke free from the chain, he raised his hand and overturned the dining table, laughing wildly amidst a burst of broken and chaotic sounds, looked at Shen Nian:

"I will give you all the preferences and exceptions you want. I am yours, only yours, and everything is yours! I please you, please you, and only look at you! I am happy when you laugh, and I think when you are sad. Way to make you happy, you should have got everything you want from me, right? What about me?"

"Niannian brother." Gu Zhi asked Shen Nian: "What do I want? Did you give it?"

Gu Zhi's eyes slowly turned red: "The bad things I did before made you angry? So you can't give me what I want, right? But I thought you were not angry anymore. Get along very well, very well. Did I misunderstand? I did it... Is it not good enough? What else should I do?"

"I'm not angry." Shen Nian walked towards Gu Zhi in a panic, stepping on the messy ground: "I'm not angry, I won't think about those things anymore."

"I'm not angry..." Gu Zhi repeated these four words in a murmur. After a few seconds of silence, he snorted, "So... even if I'm not angry, I won't be able to give me what I want, is that so?"

"Gu Zhi." Shen Nian took Gu Zhi's hand: "You are very important to me, I admit that I cannot do without you, I..."

"Important?" Gu Zhi looked as if he didn't understand what these two words meant, and then he didn't know what to think of. He suddenly pulled his hand out of Shen Nian's palm and took a step back, as if he had touched something that shouldn't be touched. There was a clear disgust in her eyes: "My mother told me that too, and that I was very important to her, but do you know what she did?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, and smiled: "When it rains, she chokes my neck and slams my head against the wall, asking me why I don't want to die, but when the weather clears up, she recovers and will He hugged me, kissed and apologized, saying she was wrong."

"This kind of thing happened a lot. She has experience. Later, as long as it is cloudy, she will lock me in the cabinet first and give me the key to make sure she won't hit me when she goes crazy. She can't open it outside, but she knows I'm inside. Have you heard the sound of someone smashing the cabinet while hiding in it? It's more terrifying than thunder. I thought I would be deaf, and I hope I Deaf, then I can't hear anything, but I don't have it, so I can only shrink in the closet and watch her go crazy, and listen to her scolding."

"Is this what's important?" Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian puzzled, "This is what you said... am I important to you?"

Shen Nian frowned slightly, he couldn't believe what he heard, he thought that Gu Zhi must have experienced something because he was afraid of thunder and hated rain, but no matter how much he guessed, he never thought that he would encounter these things.

This was crueler than any of his conjectures.

Shen Nian could clearly feel that Gu Zhi was not pretending to be pitiful or sympathetic when he said these things, he was even smiling, he didn't want to get anything from Shen Nian through these things, he just didn't understand, I don't understand why since it is so important, you have to treat him like this?

Or, he is still keeping his promise to Shen Nian until now.

Don't lie to him again, don't count him anymore.

"Gu Zhi..."

"Brother Nian Nian is planning to do the same? Huh?" Gu Zhi interrupted him: "Coax me when you need me, treat me well, and kick me away when you don't need me. Death is life."

"I didn't think so, and I wouldn't do it." Shen Nian said and approached Gu Zhi again, holding his hand again.

Maybe it was too cold, maybe it was Shen Nian's promise that made him foolish again, this time he didn't break free again.

Shen Nian once thought that what he experienced was already very unfortunate, his mother never gave him any love, making him live like an orphan, but compared to Gu Zhi, he seemed nothing, You Xiaoyue again No matter what, I never took the initiative to hurt him, at most I just ignored him, but what about Gu Zhi?What was he thinking when he was choked and his head was hit and he was locked in the cabinet?How do you feel?

How old was he at that time?

"So you want to be mine alone?" Gu Zhi softened a little, carefully waiting for his answer: "Like me, only looking at you, only for you?"

For a moment, Shen Nian wanted to agree. What Gu Zhi said was not wrong, he gave him everything he wanted, so he should honor what he promised Gu Zhi at the beginning, but on the other side was his good friend for many years, In a sense, Liang Qiu was more important to him than Shen Chongshan.

How could he sever ties with Liang Qiu?he can not.There is nothing wrong with his relationship with Liang Qiu, Gu Zhi's mood is abnormal.

"Gu Zhi..." Shen Nian discussed with him softly: "I promised to be with you, I will not leave, I will not leave you behind, this is not a lie, I can do it."

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian unresponsively, and Shen Nian continued cautiously: "But Liang Qiu is my friend, and my relationship with him is different from ours. He went to Shanghai, and he won't come back much after a year. God, I just meet and talk to him, I promise what happened last night will never happen again, or when I see him next time, will you come with me?"

Perhaps Gu Zhi saw from Shen Nian's persistence again and again that he would never sever ties with Liang Qiu, so Gu Zhi showed signs of compromise.

"What if he comes back one day? What if he says he needs you one day, asks you to go to his side, and never leaves you again?" Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian: "At that time, do you still need me?"

"Need." Shen Nian said without hesitation: "Gu Zhi, I know exactly what I want. Only you can give it to me, Liang Qiu can't give it to me."

Shen Nian's choice without hesitation made Gu Zhi's expression soften a little, as if it was from the midwinter to the cold spring, but he still couldn't believe it, and looked at Shen Nian with a cautious look:

"Really? Will you really not leave me?"

Shen Nian nodded, and was about to say yes, but the phone rang at this moment. Before Shen Nian could react, he just watched Gu Zhi's expression return to the previous coldness. Shen Nian, but the softness that appeared just now was like an illusion.

They all knew who was calling.

This cell phone ringtone is now like a spark, which can set off a prairie fire in this room full of gunpowder smell.

Gu Zhi withdrew his finally warm hand from Shen Nian's hand, put his hand into his jacket pocket reflexively, and took out the phone that was still facing him with almost violent movements, and even glanced at it He didn't bother to slam it on the wall directly.

The ringing stopped, the phone fell apart, and everything fell silent.

Shen Nian watched his series of movements without surprise.

"Brother Nian Nian..." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, and didn't feel that he had done anything wrong. He was still only concerned about the problem just now: "You won't leave me, right?"

"Yes." Shen Nian said softly, "I won't."

Gu Zhi confirmed his answer, didn't say anything more, his expression was blank, he didn't know what he was thinking.

In fact, this matter has not been resolved, but Gu Zhi seems to be tired and doesn't want to care about it.

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi, and after a while, he stretched out his hand to hold Gu Zhi in his arms, stroking his hair like stroking a cat, this kind of consolation has magic power like 'obedient', making Gu Zhi gradually quiet down.

After an unknown amount of time, Gu Zhi recovered his voice and asked anxiously:

"I broke the mobile phone that Liang Qiu gave you, is it my fault?"

"I don't blame you." Shen Nian said, "I did something wrong, little fox is right."

Gu Zhi's face was stuffy on Shen Nian's neck, and his body slowly relaxed and softened under Shen Nian's comfort. After a while, he whispered to Shen Nian, saying:

"Niannian... the little fox is back."