paranoid dependence

As soon as he walked into Jianjia Lane, he saw a uniformed policeman standing in front of his house. Shen Nian was momentarily stunned, and even had a bad thought, and was about to break out in a cold sweat. He breathed a sigh of relief, and probably guessed what their purpose was.

Gu Zhi also saw himself, and frowned slightly, as if he was also very dissatisfied with the scene in front of him.

Shen Nian walked over, the policeman saw him:

"Are you from this family?"

"En." Shen Nian responded.

"Where is your lord?" The policeman said, "We came here in the afternoon, and there is no one at home. When will your lord come back?"

Shen Nian turned around and took out the key to open the somewhat dilapidated door, letting the police tell them when they came in:

"I went out for a sports car, and I can't come back for a while."

There are too many things in the village where parents go out and leave their children at home. The policeman didn't show any other expression when he heard the words. He responded lightly and walked in with Gu Zhi:

"You reported the case a few months ago, right? It was said that a child in the family ran away from home. Today we dealt with a fight incident. I think this child is very similar to the one in the photo you gave us before. Although he didn't admit it, but I looked like, we didn't get through the phone number your dad left at the police station, so I brought it here for you to see, this is your brother, right?"

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi and saw that the clothes he was wearing were all torn, his forehead and the corners of his mouth were covered with wounds, and even his neck was covered with bloodstains. He didn't know what happened, but this man was really Fight to death.

The eyes of the two collided with each other, and then they quickly moved away tacitly.

"He's not my brother." Shen Nian said, and then added under the surprised eyes of the police: "But he did leave from this house."

Gu Zhi sneered and didn't speak, he seemed to disdain Shen Nian's explanation, the policeman also laughed because of Shen Nian's panting:

"What kind of enmity between the two brothers can reach this level? They are all family members. Don't take it to heart. After all, he is your brother, right? It must be a hard life outside these days. Can you come back?" It's easy, just stop making trouble."

Shen Nian didn't speak because he couldn't explain too much to the police, and Gu Zhi didn't speak, but Shen Nian clearly felt that he didn't bother to speak.

It seems that the police have completed the task after finding the person and sending them back. Regarding the internal conflicts in their family, when the two of them said nothing, they could only give a few words of persuasion and instructions before leaving.

There were two more people left in the quiet courtyard. Gu Zhi sat on the steps of the West Room and had no intention of entering the house. He was in a gesture of leaving immediately and would not stay here any longer. Shen Nian stood there quietly for a while. Knowing what to say to Gu Zhi, he didn't intend to speak.

But Shen Nian couldn't deny that there was no one in the family, even if this person was Gu Zhi, whom he didn't like, the feeling was much better than when he came back before.

At least not so empty.

"I don't want to come back." Gu Zhi said: "I can't help it, I will leave when they go far away."

Shen Nian did not respond to Gu Zhi's words, as if it made no difference to him whether Gu Zhi left or stayed.

He just rarely feels a little hungry. It's been a long time, and he still feels hungry when he returns to this home, and he doesn't eat most of the time at night, but today he wants to cook something to eat, even though there are not many ingredients at home.

There were only a few steamed buns and a few eggs left in the refrigerator. Shen Nian was too lazy to go out to buy them and wanted to fry them up. But just as the steamed buns were brought to the cutting board, he heard footsteps. Walking towards the door, he was about to leave, Shen Nian who realized this even stopped the movements of his hands, and suddenly he was no longer hungry.

But he didn't do anything, just stood there quietly, waiting for the footsteps to disappear, waiting for the family to become him again, and then talking to himself.

But before the footsteps disappeared, there was thunder, and there was a rumbling sound outside the window, as if it was going to rain again.The students in the class made a mistake. It will rain instead of snow today.

Gu Zhi's footsteps stopped at the kitchen door because of the thunder. When Shen Nian turned around and looked over, he could even see him trembling through the thin curtain, and his whole body was also stiff.

He knew it shouldn't be, but seeing Gu Zhi standing there without leaving, Shen Nian was very happy.

Perhaps it was because of this happiness that Shen Nian decided to go over and tell Gu Zhi to hide in the room, but before Shen Nian lifted the curtain, another thunder came, more dull and heavier than before, like There was an explosion right above his head, Gu Zhi had a pale face, as if he had reached the limit of his patience, he didn't even take a look at Shen Nian, he turned around and ran into the north room almost by reflex.

As for where it went, it is self-evident.

Shen Nian stood at the door for a while, and then realized that he was still hungry, so he went back to the kitchen and continued to cook. He didn't go back to the north room when he was done, and ate half a bowl in the dining room, and it started to rain outside the window. It was raining, and there was a layer of water mist on the glass windows, Shen Nian stepped over, wiped off the layer of water mist with his hand, and then he saw what was reflected on the glass windows, which belonged to his own bad nature.

He likes the feeling of being at home.So he wanted to keep Gu Zhi, tame him with costless warmth, let him treat himself well, and only have himself in his eyes.

Just like what he did to Shen Chongshan, even better to himself than to Shen Chongshan.

Shen Nian knew that this was easy to do, Gu Zhi had no resistance to warmth just like himself, as long as he showed a little warmth and concern, Gu Zhi would change from hard to soft.

As for whether the warmth and concern given are real, what does it matter?Getting what you want is the most important thing, and Gu Zhi has done so many bad things to him, it seems reasonable for him to fight back.

Gu Zhi's madness is an unknown bomb, but would Shen Nian care?There is nothing more terrifying now than him alone.

The rain is not heavy, but this kind of rain usually doesn't stop immediately, it can last the whole night intermittently, Shen Nian slowly returned from the corridor to the north room, as expected, the fear of rain and thunder is still in his mind In the position that gave him the most sense of security, Shen Nian turned on the light and stood by the door for a while, then walked over and sat down by the bed. He should have been lying down, but he didn't, so his legs were hanging by the bed.

A few seconds later, someone grabbed his ankle, Shen Nian was not surprised at all, but he still looked down, still grasping very tightly like the previous few times, so tight that his joints were turning pale, Shen Nian In fact, it also felt a little painful, but he didn't care and let him hold it.

On this rainy day that none of them like very much, it is a kind of comfort to have someone by their side, even someone who doesn't like it very much.

Gu Zhi must also think so, otherwise he wouldn't be grabbing himself as if he was grabbing the last straw.

It rained for a long time, so long that Shen Nian felt a little sleepy, he ate a lot, at this time the whole person was lazy and tired, but Gu Zhi grabbed his posture so that he could not even lie down. I found it difficult, so I could only hold on.

The rain continued until midnight, when the glass windows were no longer knocked by raindrops, Shen Nian also leaned against the wall and fell asleep, dazedly, he felt someone appeared in the room, and then slowed down to the door Walking, Shen Nian suddenly woke up and realized that it was not a dream, it was Gu Zhi who had crawled out from under the bed and was opening the door to leave.

"Where are you going?" Shen Nian stood up, perhaps because he was so eager that he became dizzy for a moment.

Gu Zhi didn't seem to expect that Shen Nian would call him, turning around to look at him, the defense in his eyes was very clear:

"Is something wrong?"

Shen Nian eased over the discomfort caused by dizziness, took two steps forward, and looked at Gu Zhi:

"I left some food for you, do you want to eat?"

At that moment, Shen Nian saw the obvious surprise in Gu Zhi's eyes, which he didn't have time to cover up, as if he couldn't believe that these words came from his own mouth.

Shen Nian also looked at him, seeing all the surprise on his face in his eyes, he was even more convinced that he had seen through Gu Zhi, in such a dark night that he was afraid of, the little warmth that he stretched out his hand to give him, even if it was just a little He couldn't say no to the bowl of rice that he didn't finish, as before.

They are all fragile and have no resistance to warmth.

Even if this person was once an opponent.

"Don't eat." After Gu Zhi said this, he was about to leave. Shen Nian was not surprised by such a refusal. If he believed in someone, then he would be a fool, but Shen Nian didn't stop him from leaving. After a few seconds, he walked out.

The rain hasn't stopped yet, but it's not as urgent as before. When the door opened, Shen Nian felt cold from the cold air blowing on his face. Gu Zhi wore less clothes than him, but he stood at the door and looked at the pattering rain outside. The rain didn't seem to feel anything at all.He should have planned to leave, but the rain outside stopped him.

Shen Nian stood behind Gu Zhi, looked at the rain on the eaves, and said softly:

"You can stay here."

Gu Zhi looked back at Shen Nian, there didn't seem to be any surprise on his face, and there was even a faint smile on his face, then he asked Shen Nian:

"Accompany you? Brother Nian Nian, you are more impatient with loneliness than I imagined."

Being poked into the mind by Gu Zhi, Shen Nian did not see any panic, he was still looking at the eaves, the cool breeze was blowing, his fingers were obviously a little stiff, but he still did not retreat into the room, because he knew that there were also people in the room. It doesn't get any warmer.

"What about you? Don't you need someone to accompany you?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, and a few seconds later, he withdrew his gaze from his face, and said almost resentfully, "No need!"

"What if a person tells you that he will never abandon you?" Shen Nian asked, "Isn't that necessary?"

Perhaps this proposal was too tempting for Gu Zhi, so that he didn't reject it immediately. After a short silence, he spoke out with a bit of disdain:

"You? Why should I trust you?"

At this moment, Shen Nian finally withdrew his gaze from looking at the eaves to look at Gu Zhi, with a calmer indifference on his face, he looked at Gu Zhi, and said:

"Because I am also a person, unlike them who have so many choices, leaving you behind, am I also a person?"

Gu Zhi opened his mouth as if he wanted to refute, but he couldn't find a reason. Through the dim light in the room, Shen Nian could see some confusion on his face, and he was shaken.

He used to think that adults were more capable of protecting him and loving him, but after experiencing so much, he gradually realized that they might indeed be more capable, but at the same time they faced too many choices, and they weighed the pros and cons carefully. What they think is good, but the needs of these children are often not taken seriously, not put in the first place, even if they take care of them, they can be given up and left behind in the face of more important choices.

Maybe it will be said: Everything I do is for your own good.

He will never be the only one in the eyes of adults.

Gu Zhi has given up on seeking a one and only in the world of adults.

That's why he left the Shen family, and that's why he would rather pick up trash than live here.

But Shen Nian can do it, he is only two years older than himself, he doesn't have so many choices, even if he has a father, no one knows better than Gu Zhi what Shen Chongshan's father means to Shen Nian, and his best friend also left He is gone, he only has himself, if he can become the only one for Shen Nian, then Shen Nian will not abandon himself.

If he didn't want to be alone, he would never make such a stupid choice.

Does he want to be alone?Unexpectedly, Gu Zhi could see Shen Nian sitting on the same street corner for several days in a row, looking at cars and people. If he enjoyed loneliness, he would not appear there. He was so lonely that even Gu Zhi couldn't ignore him.

He used to dislike him so much, but now he said something to persuade him to stay, if it hadn't reached the point where he couldn't bear it, Shen Nian's temperament would not have opened his mouth.

Shen Nian is lonelier than himself, and wants to escape from the situation in front of him. Rather than pinning his hopes on an adult who will face more choices at any time, perhaps it is more suitable for them to hug each other for warmth.

No one understands each other better than them.

Winter is really too cold, Gu Zhi also admitted that Shen Nian's proposal tempted him.

He has been abandoned three times, he should have been more vigilant about Shen Nian's proposal this time, he should not trust another person so easily, it is not in line with his previous determination, even at this moment he is It can be seen that because Shen Nian is not good at lying and acting, what is shown does not have much sincerity.

He didn't know what Shen Nian was thinking or planning.

But unexpectedly, Gu Zhi was willing to gamble one last time.

"Think about it, it's not that easy to keep warm with me."

Shen Nian looked at him and didn't speak, waiting for him to finish speaking.

"You should know that I'm sick, and what's mine can only be mine. I can't allow you to be nice to others. I can't stand it." Gu Zhi looked at him, possessiveness first appeared in his eyes: "You just want to treat others well." Could be mine."

"I know." Shen Nian said.

"I have something to fear, and when I encounter it, I may go crazy occasionally, and I can't control myself."

"I know."

"If you decide to stay with me, I will never let you go in this life." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, walked in front of him, stared into his eyes, and said word by word: "The last time I trust who will accompany you." Look at me, if you don't mean what you say, I will definitely not be as kind as I was to Shen Chongshan, and I may not even know what I will do to you, which is very dangerous."

Shen Nian didn't speak for a few seconds. He thought a lot about the past, the present, and the future, but the consequences that Gu Zhi said were not as terrible as him coming alone, so he nodded and said:

"Okay, then don't let me go for the rest of your life."

It's good to have someone haunting him all his life.

Regarding Shen Nian's answer, there was no surprise on Gu Zhi's face, as if he had known the result a long time ago, he stared at Shen Nian for a few seconds, and smiled slowly:

"It's actually not that scary. While you are me alone, I will only be you alone. I will accompany you and protect you. No one can bully you."