Attempted first love

When cutting the cake, a lot of medicines he took gradually took effect, and Xia Yan's limbs became weaker, so he mistakenly cut a strawberry in the middle, and the fresh fruity smell made him wake up a lot.

"Enough, don't cut it." Shen Qi flattened the cream with a fork, stirred it back and forth, and piled it into various shapes.Obviously he asked to eat, but he never opened his mouth and swallowed a mouthful.

After poking around for a long time, he said, "Actually, I don't like cakes, and I don't like sweet ones."

Xia Yan glanced at him, "Why didn't you tell me earlier, what do you want to eat?"

"You like to eat," Shen Qi took it for granted, "You can eat, we will talk when you are full and have strength."

In fact, Xia Yan was not exhausted from hunger, but under Shen Qi's bright eyes, he still picked up the fork.Perhaps it was the combination of a cold and a high fever that degraded his senses. Cream tasted bitter in his mouth, and strawberries were sour.Even so, I still insisted on eating a small piece.

I don't know if it's because of being full, but his body gradually started to heat up, Xia Yan shrank back into the blanket, trying to keep this enthusiasm, he said to Shen Qi: "You are very smart, talented, and spiritual, it doesn't take me to Say more. When I was your age, I only knew to eat and die in school."

"What do you mean 'when I was your age'?" Shen Qi pretended to be dissatisfied, and protested with a smile on the corner of his mouth: "Stop using this tone, you are not much older than me."

"Just this time," Xia Yan said with a hoarse voice, and smiled, "After going abroad, take good care of yourself, attend classes well, don't be like me, eating takeaway every day, sleeping heavily, and cramming before exams."

The phone that was turned upside down on the coffee table vibrated, Xia Yan clenched his hand that was shrunk under the blanket, and resisted not reaching out to take it.It's too cold outside, let's see later, he thought.

"Didn't your grades in college be pretty good?" Shen Qi asked.

"It's just luck." Xia Yan coughed twice.

"drink water?"

"Okay, thank you."

Shen Qi took the mug, got up to pour hot water, and the hot air hit his face. He thought of Xia Yan's red lips and nose tip, and then thought of the pale moment when they faded from the color of blood——Xia Yan was walking around a topic.

Shen Qi was so flattered by the praise, he belatedly figured out the intention.

When he returned to the sofa, he said condescendingly and mercilessly: "The surname Lu didn't participate in the subsequent scenes after handing in the plan. My aunt said that he has settled in England since he was in college. You are so stupid. Waiting for him to celebrate your birthday?"

"Water." Xia Yan stretched out his arms from under the blanket.

Inserting the mug into his tiger's mouth, Shen Qi sat down angrily, "Don't you believe it? I'll call my aunt right now."

"I believe."

"Then you, you..." He had a calm attitude, but instead blocked what Shen Qi originally wanted to say, holding the phone in his hand, he didn't know whether to dial or not.

The water was too hot, and when I swallowed, I felt a burning sensation in my throat. Xia Yan waited for two seconds before saying: "Shen Ru, Shen Qi. So she is your aunt, I haven't heard you say it before."

Looking at each other for a few seconds, Shen Qi looked away and sat down on the sofa, "Not many people know about this matter. At first, my aunt refused to let me tell her. I thought she thought I was too bad to embarrass her. Later, I I don't want to say it, I don't want others to think that I have to rely on her. I didn't deliberately hide it from you, I'm sorry. "

"Sorry for what? This is your private matter."

The sky was very overcast, and Shen Qi had no intention of leaving at all. He had nothing to say and said: "Yesterday I wanted to say goodbye to my aunt. They were setting the scene on the island. I went together when I was bored. Only then did I hear her say that Lu Zhouyu was in charge. About that exhibit. I didn’t know about it before, and I didn’t deliberately hide this from you.”

After a moment of silence, Xia Yan said, "Yes."

"Actually, my aunt asked me if I wanted to participate in this project on the island at first." Shen Qi stared at the cake on the table for a while, then suddenly said, "Is it a coincidence? Why does it happen every time?"

"What do you want to say?" Xia Yan changed his posture, stretched out his legs and feet curled up on the sofa, and stepped into the slippers neatly, with a serious expression on his face.

Such a posture of preparing for war made Shen Qi very unbalanced, "I haven't said anything, you are going to protect him like this? Okay, what do I want to say? I want to say that I don't want all of this, Mirage Art Museum, Biennale, I don’t want these projects, I quit, so he has a chance to join in!”

Clenching his hands into fists against his knees, he was out of breath, his chest couldn't stop heaving, he still defiantly glanced at Xia Yan with the end of his eyes, but only received a faint sentence: "So you think so."

"Yes, what else do you want to say for him?"

Xia Yan shook his head, "I'm not his spokesperson, we're only talking about you now." Not giving Shen Qi a chance to interject, he asked instead: "Why did you quit, don't you know?"

Plagiarism, plagiarism.

It doesn't matter if you say you can't bear such a serious word, or because of your habit of taking care of him, Xia Yan has always avoided mentioning it in front of Shen Qi after the incident.But obviously connivance and silence are the biggest accomplices.

"It's because you copied other people's achievements, remember?"

Shen Qi's eyes froze, he bit his lower lip and did not speak.

"You may think that it's just a borrowing, it's no big deal."

It's really not a big deal, the instigator is just sitting here with a calm expression on his face.Xia Yan suddenly felt that no matter how much he said with all his heart and soul, Shen Qi would not be able to truly understand, but he still told him earnestly: "Do you know that plagiarism can forever and completely nail a creator to the pillar of shame, even if Just once. There is no reason and no reason is needed."

"It's not that serious. I apologized and lost money..." Shen Qi's voice became weaker and weaker, as if he didn't know how to refute. After a moment of silence, he said: "It won't happen in the future, I promise."

After hearing this sentence, Xia Yan leaned back, put the back of his head on the sofa, nodded and said: "I am also responsible for this matter, I apologize to you, I shouldn't just promise it casually."

"No," he said, "that's not what I want."

The sky was dim, Xia Yan looked out the window, a dark cloud covered the art museum not far away, he asked Shen Qi: "It's going to rain, how did you come here today?"

"The driver will take me."

"Is he still in the car?"

"Ah."

"Go back quickly, don't keep the driver waiting."

Shen Qi responded, but didn't move. He rubbed his hands in his pocket and said slowly, "There is one last question."

"Go ahead."

"When did you break up with him?"

The high fever made his entire face numb, Xia Yan looked up at him expressionlessly: "Why should I break up with him?"

"He left without a word," Shen Qi raised one eyebrow and pointed to himself, meaning that I came to say goodbye to you before I left. "If you want me to say, what's so good about him? Ask him to do a project, and you still fall in love with him."

"It's between me and him."

The implication of Xia Yan's words is also clear, no explanation, no explanation, because it is unnecessary.Until being uncomfortably stared at by Shen Qi's straight gaze, he nodded and compromised: "Okay, but today we won't talk about me and him, but me and you."

Shen Qi didn't move.

"I went out for an exchange when I was a junior," Xia Yan recalled, "I should understand how you feel. Before I left, I was nervous and anxious, so I desperately wanted to grab something to strengthen some connections. To find roommates at the time, mentors, all kinds of people to chat with, hang out with, just like you. It doesn’t have to be liking.”

"How do you know it's not?" Shen Qi retorted, "I just like you."

"Okay then," Xia Yan asked suddenly, "where were you the week after the accident?"

Without knowing it, Shen Qi went in and replied truthfully: "I was locked up at home by my parents."

"There were more than ten interviews with you that week, and I went to each of them for you. Those reporters were very rude to plagiarism, and their questions were very tricky," Xia Yan explained without emotion: "But during that time , I haven't received a call from you."

"I..." Shen Qi's face changed.

"I didn't mean to blame you when I said this," Xia Yan said, "I know it's because you believe that I can handle everything, so you're at ease. Including coming to see me today is also out of trust, but this is different from liking .”

Picking up a strawberry on top of the cream and biting it into his mouth, the juice burst out, sour and sweet, Xia Yan swallowed it, seeing that Shen Qi was silent for a long time, as if he was thinking, so he stretched out his hand to pat his slumped shoulder, Handed over a strawberry half the size of a palm, "You will meet someone you really like in the future, and then you will understand the meaning."

Shen Qi didn't answer, and unexpectedly didn't refute immediately. Instead, he was silent for a long time before replying: "I don't know. Even if you are right, what about Lu Zhouyu? He left without saying goodbye, that's why he didn't like it." Why don't you just break up with him."

His logic is very simple, if I can't get it, others can't get it either.

The strawberry in the palm of the hand was crushed unconsciously, and the fingertips pierced into the pulp, and the sticky juice dripped down the wrist.Xia Yan got up and said to wash his hands, while Shen Qi was wiping the strawberry juice on the sofa, he picked up the mobile phone on the coffee table and hurried to the toilet.

After washing his hands, he put his hands on the edge of the sink.

The single lamp projected on the mirror, but still illuminated the double figures inside and outside, pale and careless.Xia Yan took out his phone and turned it on, there was only one advertisement pushed by the shopping app on the screen.When he clicked on the address book and dialed the number, he swallowed in vain, as if a piece of rusty iron was embedded in his throat, causing a dull pain.

what to say.

where are you?

When are you coming back?

It's okay, just asking if I need to pick you up tomorrow.

……

Say whatever you want, Xia Yan thought ecstatically, or wait for him to speak first.But in the next second, I heard the notification sound of shutting down.

Hang up, dial again, and turn off the phone.

Hanging up again, Xia Yan raised the phone screen to his eyes, and the time displayed was just after two o'clock in the afternoon.

I also contacted him at this time a few days ago. He is used to waking up from a nap. He is so stupefied that he can send Lu Zhouyu some random dreams, afternoon arrangements, interesting exhibitions, etc., all of which can be received. reply.

Maybe still busy?Taking a nap?Bad signal?

The symptoms of a cold and fever became more and more serious, as if the body was immersed in ice water, and it was finally salvaged and wrapped in a hot blanket, but the next second, the ice surface under the feet was caught off guard and shattered.

The whole body was hot and cold, Xia Yan washed his face with cold water, and now he was not hot anymore.

He dialed the same number a third time and turned off the phone.

All right.Xia Yan clenched his phone tightly, felt that his nasal cavity was blocked, and it was difficult to breathe, so he opened his mouth to pant heavily.

Two o'clock in the afternoon, London time is seven o'clock in the morning, perhaps not awake yet?But don't wake up and don't turn off the phone.

I didn’t wake up at seven o’clock, so what about 07:30, eight o’clock, nine o’clock, ten o’clock? ... What about tomorrow?

He clearly said he would be back tomorrow.

The surviving rationality told Xia Yan that the phone was just turned off, and there were many objective reasons, he shouldn't and didn't have to think about the worst outcome.

But Shen Qi's "I don't like it" was the last straw, the first thunder, which made him lose his balance and had no power to refute.

Xia Yan could clearly feel that due to the high fever, his thinking became slow and out of control.

Is it true what Shen Qi said... He left again, again, without saying goodbye?

It's not impossible, wasn't it ten years ago?They didn't even exchange names, they just accepted an inexplicable, confused, hawthorn-flavored kiss, and when they woke up, they left.

It seemed reasonable to do it again.

It's just that this kiss expands infinitely and breaks down into moments.

First stay.

Half a fritters.

Paper roses.

good luck.

Try it.

……

No, what's the deal?What's the point?It's unreasonable and unreasonable, it was then, but now—we're in love now, aren't we?

When he went out again, Shen Qi had already arranged the sofa and coffee table, he clapped his hands and said, "My dad urged me to go back and see my grandpa."

"It's going to rain, tell the driver to drive carefully." Xia Yan bent down and pulled out the necklace he brought from the gap in the sofa, "Don't forget to take this one with you."

"Oh, I accidentally fell in." Shen Qi smiled mischievously, "I'm leaving, you can rest."

Walking to the porch, he bent down and knocked hard on the fish tank, and the dragon eyes flickered in the water, teasing for a long time, Xia Yan couldn't help but urge him, Shen Qi straightened up, "Then you don't have any plans for tomorrow, can I come back tomorrow?" ?”

He seemed to have tacitly agreed that Xia Yan would propose a breakup.

"Maybe I didn't speak clearly enough," as if a pair of hands reached into his brain and stirred it, making Xia Yan unable to think, unable to take care of Shen Qi's young and fragile heart, unable to stabilize his body, so he leaned against the side of the fish tank, his hair messed up Yes, a few strands were stained with water and stuck to the side of his face, the tip of his nose was flushed red from the cold, but his expression was extremely serious.

He said: "I like him, I chased him, it was very hard, so it is impossible to take the initiative to let go."

"But he has already left!" Holding the last chip in his hand, Shen Qi threw this sentence fiercely.

"He'll be back tomorrow." Xia Yan said.

"What if you don't come back?"

"No ifs."

Shen Qi slammed the door angrily, and before leaving, he said: "Sunday, you have to come see me off no matter what." Feeling that it was not strong enough, he shouted again: "Otherwise I won't leave, not only won't I leave, but I'll also leave Go to the island and persuade my aunt to remove the exhibits surnamed Lu! Say that he is not a good character, and say that he has always abandoned him!"

The door frame trembled from his shock.

Sleepy and cold, Xia Yan quickly lay back on the bed, covered his whole body with the quilt, and deliberately left his cell phone in the living room.

Since he said he was coming back tomorrow, then wait until tomorrow before contacting him.Before that, he had to get a good night's sleep and let the fever subside.

At the beginning, I always wanted to hear if there was any movement on the phone, to see if there was any new news, and tossed and turned, but in the end, it was no match for the effect of the medicine, so I fell asleep.

It's like dreaming.In the dream, he was a moth that was eager to thaw, thirsty for fire, so he bumped into the dancing flames again and again, and finally ignited into a lamp hanging above the city.

Weird dream.

When I woke up again, my body was sweating like it was melting.It was already dark, and through the window, there were sporadic lights outside.Xia Yan touched his forehead, the sweat was cold, and the skin was also cold, the fever should have subsided.Wrapped in a quilt, he quickly ran to the living room to pick up his cell phone, and lay back on the bed again.

At 55:[-], I actually slept for nearly ten hours, no wonder I felt better and full of energy.Xia Yan swiped open the screen, and processed the news during this period one by one.

There was a WeChat message sent by Shen Qi Daojia, out of anger, there were only two words, "It's here."

There is news about the work group and the update of the project ledger.

There are birthday wishes sent in advance before midnight.

There was even a text message from their parents, saying that 10:30 in the evening is their normal rest time, saying that they will go through the retirement procedures next Monday, but both of them decided to accept the invitation of a local university in the institute to become special lecturers and continue to shine for the cause of scientific research .At the same time, Xia Yan was cordially invited to reunite with his family on the northwest land.

After replying one by one, it was past zero.The major APPs sent birthday wishes on time, Xia Yan muted the phone, cut off the continuous reminders, and dialed again.

Saturday, still off.