God said I would meet you

Both of them had a sleepless night.

The next day, when Lalong knocked on the door and called Lin Jinyu to get up and go to school, Lin Jinyu felt listless and sluggish.But as soon as Zhang Xinli came out, he immediately acted energetic, as if he slept beautifully last night, like a pine and cypress, evergreen.

La Long took them to the school cafeteria to have breakfast, and said: "The rehearsal was over yesterday, and there are other activities in the college during the day, so you play on your own first, and gather at the place I told you yesterday at seven o'clock in the evening."

Everyone nodded in agreement, but Lin Jinyu was a little distracted.

He seems to be looking directly at La Long, but his attention is actually on both sides of the corner of his eye - Zhang Xinli has been staying far away from him since we met in the morning, walking and eating, and he went to the team when Lin Jinyu was at the front of the team At the end, when Lin Jinyu was on the left side of the team, he went to the right side, which can be said to be as far away as possible.

Lin Jinyu didn't let anyone mention him when they didn't meet each other. Except for the time he cried loudly on the street, he always said that Zhang Xinli had better not appear in front of him in this life. When they first met, he deliberately ignored him, but now he really took the initiative to hide. After touching him, he began to feel irritable again, sulking with suffocation, and didn't know whether it was his own or someone else's.

Those ambiguous conversations last night, as well as questioning and answering... Zhang Xinli's complicated face was always spinning before his eyes, and he even felt that he could still feel his warmth remaining on his hands.

Zhang Xinli rejected him, is it because he minds that he has a boyfriend, or because his interest in him has been greatly reduced?

Lin Jinyu began to be troubled by this problem.

Or these two are actually the same problem, he has a new partner, has slept with someone else, is dirty, and is tired, so people are not interested in him... what a mess.

Lin Jinyu was speechless by her nonsensical thoughts, but after a while, she couldn't help thinking about it.

He didn't even remember much about how he spent that day, he only remembered that he was in a very crazy state, confused and thinking a lot.

Zhang Xinli never said a word to him again. Those cares that were not obvious at the beginning, questions that were out of anger or surprise, and bad-tempered anger seemed to disappear after only one night, as if it had never happened, Lin Jinyu When he was a stranger, he also treated Lin Jinyu as a stranger.

In the evening, they went to see Lalong's welcome performance together, but "separately". As Zhang Xinli said back then, the child named Lalong who looked the most inconspicuous, even a little too introverted and cowardly, was actually that The smartest of countless gray children, now he sings a song in Yi language in memory of Ah Mo in a place far away from the mountains. He plays the guitar enthusiastically and unrestrainedly, and his bronze skin is wild and flamboyant.

He is the second "artist" person Lin Jinyu has seen in his 22 years of life. The first one is Lin Ye who likes to grow his hair longer.But Lin Ye is different from La Long. Lin Ye's "artist temperament" is more classical British, far from the rough, unrestrained and original ecology of La Long. Every song of La Long contains his hometown, his The nation, the origin and destination of his life.

Mom, Lin Jinyu bathed in the ocean of fluorescent light in the auditorium, thinking: like father, it is a word that is already very unfamiliar.

……

On the fourth day, the orientation was over, and all the fun, food, and reminiscences had come to an end. He and Zhang Xinli were going to end their 78-hour reunion. They went back to each school, just like everyone else, and returned to their original track of life.

It's so short, Lin Jinyu thought: too short to be called a reunion, it's just passing by.

When boarding the train, everyone came to see him off, only Zhang Xinli did not show up at the station because he felt uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable, it's really an overly perfunctory excuse, he didn't get wind or rain, with his body, what's so uncomfortable, even if he was uncomfortable, when did he shirk things because of discomfort.Lin Jinyu felt that Zhang Xinli probably didn't even bother to fool him seriously.

"Brother Jinyu, are you coming back now?" La Long seemed to want him to stay a little longer: "Let's play for a few more days, it's my first time going to college, what can you teach me?"

"You don't need to be taught what to teach in school," Lin Jinyu smiled: "Take a good class, don't skip class, it's gone."

La Long also smiled, although it was golden autumn when yellow leaves were falling, but that smile was like summer: "You have taught me a lot."

Teach him to skateboard, teach him to read novels, and make him understand why he should go to school for education - when they were both young, La Long felt from Lin Jinyu that he was very close to his brother, Gao Wu, and him. Playmates who started smoking and swearing at the age of one or two were different things, and Zhang Xinli didn't have those things either.

"I can't afford it, you deserve what you get." Lin Jinyu looked at his bronzed face: "If you have the opportunity to come to Shanghai, all meals and lodging are included, I will show you the coastal cities."

"Really?" Lalong's eyes lit up: "I've always wanted to visit Shanghai, a real big city."

"Shanghai is so big," Lin Jinyu said, "Beijing is big. If you study hard, you will have the opportunity to go to many places in the future. You are always welcome there."

"Okay." When the ticket check was about to enter the station, Lalong hugged him and said in a low voice, "Take care, brother."

Lin Jinyu looked at those eyes that were no longer immature, and replied, "Take care too."

The high-speed rail leads in all directions, and it is only a matter of sleeping from here to Shanghai, and they are already far away when they close their eyes and open them.

In this way, Lin Jinyu embarked on the road back to Shanghai alone. Looking at the rapidly receding scenery outside the window, he thought about the person who didn't show up.He began to unconsciously recall every look and conversation between him and Zhang Xinli from the time they met to now.

He will definitely not come to the interview in Shanghai, Lin Jinyu thought: After years of entanglement, our last meeting was actually a ridiculous and vicious molestation and quarrel.

……

The rainy season has long ended, and the day he returned to Shanghai was sunny.

Lin Jinyu is now very used to living a frugal life. He hasn't drunk milk tea for a long time, doesn't eat a lot of fruit and snacks, and doesn't buy clothes and shoes one by one. Except for three meals and monthly phone bills, he can hardly control anything else. expenses.

Although the money owed to my old classmate has not been fully repaid, nearly half of it has gone. He still has 2 yuan in his card, which is left after the money transferred to him by his little cousin. But Lin Jinyu didn't intend to move.Anyway, he can still live on his own ability now, but it's just a little bit of financial difficulties. When he graduates, he will find a reason to return it to his cousin.

"Hello, I'm here," Lin Jinyu called Lin Ye as agreed after leaving the station: "Where are you?"

On the other side of the phone, Lin Ye yawned: "I just finished my brunch, so you can come to my place directly, just from the piano shop last time, I prepared a change of clothes and a toothbrush by myself, I don't have much for you .”

Lin Jinyu said yes, hung up the phone, and got on the subway familiarly.

He and Lin Ye come in and communicate quite frequently, so there is no need to be too polite, just say something in advance, and just carry your things over there for a temporary stay just like last time.Lin Jinyu went directly from Lalong School, and only had two sets of clothes. This time, it seems that he can only wash more frequently and wear them in rotation—although he doesn't have many clothes now.

All the way calm.

When Lin Jinyu went to the place with her bag on her back, Lin Ye was eating bread with his messy hair.

"Did you go out to drink again last night?" Since they lived together for more than a month, he knew what was going on with a glance: "This is your brunch?"

"Yeah," the ground was full of things, and there was no place to stay. With bread in his mouth, Lin Ye swept aside the messy music stand, tuner, and footstool with his foot to make a space, and said, "You Just watch and let it go, just like last time, just don't touch my things, come from school?"

"No." Lin Jinyu found an empty space on the ground and put the bag away, sat on the plastic stool that the child used to learn the piano, and told him a few things that happened recently.

Lin Ye may be the person who knows the tortuous relationship story between them most clearly except him and Zhang Xinli himself. The two are talking about love.

After all, it was embarrassing, and there was no need to let him know that this time Zhang Xinli would probably never appear in front of him again in his life.

——At that time, Lin Jinyu thought it was unnecessary, but he never thought that it would be necessary soon.

"Have you met?" Lin Ye was originally lazy, but when he heard the gossip, he became a little more serious: "Isn't it embarrassing to meet your ex? No firewood or something?"

"What are you talking about, don't run the train with your mouth full." Lin Jinyu picked up the metronome and made a gesture to swing him. Lin Ye lightly raised his eyes and stared at him.

"I'm serious about running a train," Lin Ye said, "It's not unusual."

"Impossible, he and I are both decent people." Lin Jinyu said this, thinking in his heart that it seemed that he was really close to a fire, and that guy could really step on the brakes.

"What does this have to do with decent people?" Lin Ye said, "Adults should have a normal sex life."

What kind of normal sex life is ups and downs with her ex, Lin Jinyu stopped talking to him, changed the subject, seemed to be talking to him, and seemed to be talking to herself: "... After such a quarrel, he probably won't come Go to the interview." After that, he added: "...I don't care if he comes or not, I just think about it casually."

This seems to be a meaningless question. It has nothing to do with him whether people come or not. What is he thinking about here, but Lin Jinyu can't help thinking about it, thinking about it endlessly.

"Just think about it," Lin Ye said with a sneer: "I don't know, I won't come, you just said that his interview happened to be the same day as your rejection of the interview?"

I don't know if the person who organized the interview had read the same almanac and it happened to be arranged on the same day. Lin Jinyu's rationality told him that what Lin Ye said was the correct answer, but he subconsciously didn't want to accept it, so he kept struggling.

After all, if Zhang Xinli comes, it means that he still has a little bit of possibility of thinking about staying in Shanghai to develop in the future... It should be like this, a [-]% possibility is also possible.

Lin Jinyu thought, even if they didn't stay, they owed each other, which was better than paying in both money and goods.

But he probably won't come at all.

While eating bread, Lin Ye watched Lin Jinyu's rich expression changes in just a few minutes, feeling amused and embarrassed at the same time.

Sure enough, gay men are not worthy of true love, and their destiny is to die alone.

"What are you struggling with?" He knew what Lin Jinyu was missing, but he said deliberately: "If you think it's cheaper for others, you can just go up yourself. Don't you know the leader? It's not a big problem to be an airborne. You break off with your father now." After graduation, you can only rely on yourself, and the certificate will be very useful to you...Young man, don’t be arrogant, this unit looks down on you, that job looks down on you, and you are the one who suffers.”

If Lin Jinyu went up by himself, no one could beat him under the premise that the selection process was fair, not even the small ones, nor Zhang Xinli.

Everything Lin Ye said made sense, Lin Jinyu smiled nonchalantly, noncommittal.

Looking through the window, there are fallen leaves rustling on the boulevard. He is ready to accept this endless ending. Zhang Xinli will never come to Shanghai again, and he will never go to Sichuan again. Same.

Lin Jinyu always felt that his intuition was quite accurate, but what he didn't expect was - not including this time.

In the far southwestern province, Zhang Xinli finally couldn't accept the result of leaving the show without any struggle after several days of "uncomfortable" entanglement and irritability, and got on the high-speed train to Shanghai Station.

That bus was exactly the one Lin Jinyu took when he came. From the southwest to the southeast, the rivers and mountains outside the window were beautiful and the scenery was the same. I saw people twice.