God said I would meet you

"...You don't need my forgiveness." Lin Jinyu's face was like a strange, ancient totem. He was crying, but he didn't make a sound of crying.

He looked at Zhang Xinli through those eyes, and the world became wet: "You think I've been blaming you and hating you all this time, don't you?"

Maybe there was a little bit of it at the moment of being deceived, but people are rational animals. When the impulse subsides, the two closest figures around Lin Jinyu may overlap for a short time, but Lin Huainan is Lin Huainan, and Zhang Xinli is Zhang Xinli.

"Isn't it?" Zhang Xinli looked at his wet face. He used to think that the word "heartbreak" was very hypocritical. People are people, and they should be upright, strong, brave, fearless and independent. It would be an exaggeration to say whether a heart is broken or not. , People should never be knocked down by any pain.

But at this moment, he suddenly understood that it really feels like a heartbreak, like two invisible fingers grabbing your heart, and then pinching it hard, the sour liquid overflows the entire chest cavity.

It turns out that people really meet such a person. When seeing him cry, you will be more sad than him.

"I don't blame you, nor do I hate you," Lin Jinyu looked at him, his tear-stained face should have been fragile, but the eyes that looked at Zhang Xinli were clearly shining like a rock: "You Every time you look at me, it's like you're looking at a creditor."

It was a look of guilt, guilt, pain, and apology. Zhang Xinli usually didn't express much, and those emotions were hidden deeply, but Lin Jinyu could still feel it—only he felt it.

There was no one around, and the two of them stood very close to each other. They had never stood together so peacefully since returning from the hospital.

"Don't look at me with that look..." Lin Jinyu said: "...you don't have to say sorry, it's me who should be talking about hurting you."

He said: "I am the one who is sick, but you are the one who takes care of everything. I'm sorry, but... don't hate me, okay?"

Humans are really complicated animals. On the one hand, he harbors a huge sense of guilt. He hopes that Zhang Xinli will not do that. Instead, he looks at him as if he owes him something. The more that kind of gaze is projected on him, the greater the guilt in his heart. But on the other hand, he also hoped that Zhang Xinli would not blame him or hate him.

"Sometimes I really don't want to be like that, but it's always like that." There will always be a day when patience is exhausted, and Lin Jinyu is afraid that this day will come eventually, even he can hardly bear himself, let alone others.

Sometimes he really can't control his emotions... Just like now, he feels ashamed to die of a man in his 20s crying, but the tears just flow out.It's better to stay away from Zhang Xinli and all his family members. He doesn't speak because he hates him, but because he is disappointed in himself.

"...Just say it." From the beginning to the end, Zhang Xinli just listened quietly, without interrupting him or refuting. He stretched out his hand and wiped away the tears on Lin Jinyu's face: "Just say it... gone."

Lin Jinyu tightly grasped the clothes behind him, and put his forehead on Zhang Xinli's shoulder—this was the first time he touched Zhang Xinli after that incident. Zhang Xinli said: "I know you can't control it, I admit, it's very difficult to take care of you." Tired, not as tired as yourself."

Given the choice, who would choose to be sick?

Zhang Xinli knew in his heart that his little cousin and him were in a bad mood, but at least they were both healthy, and they didn't need to stop school to take medicine. No matter what, the person who suffered the most was Lin Jinyu herself.

"...But you have to move forward," he hugged Lin Jinyu back with one hand, his movements were gentle, but the words he said changed with a hint of determination in his tone: "The uncontrollable part is me and your cousin, The part that you can control, you have to go on your own," he said: "Take medicine, actively cooperate with treatment...you have to move forward."

Zhang Xinli is not a person who complains about himself, and he doesn't like such a person. No matter how big the hurdle is, he has to move forward.

"Sometimes I really feel that I can't make it through," Lin Jinyu murmured, "It's too difficult, I can't make it through..."

"There is nothing you can't go through," Zhang Xinli said, "If you don't go, I will force you to go. Don't let me force you."

He apologized to Lin Jinyu, said he was wrong, said he was sorry, apart from really regretting, it was more to let him go forward, to let him let go of the repulsion and hatred caused by the hospital incident, follow the doctor's advice, and cooperate with the treatment... This time Lin Jinyu said that he didn't blame him, but it didn't mean that he would never do it. Zhang Xinli didn't want to do such a thing all the time, but when it was a last resort, no matter how many times he did it, he would still do it.

As long as Lin Jinyu gets better, he will do anything, anything that makes him happy or hates.

……

The room was calm again. When the little cousin came back, he saw Lin Jinyu sitting on the small kitchen bench, helping Zhang Xinli choose dishes.

The too fantastic picture made him think that he was dazzled. The little cousin pointed at Lin Jinyu whose back was turned to him, winked for a long time, trying not to attract his attention, and communicated with Zhang Xinli with hand gestures to understand what was going on.

"Going back?" Zhang Xinli put a plate of dishes on the table, and said, "Let's eat."

"The selection is over," Lin Jinyu turned around and said, "Do you still want to wash?"

"Give it to me." Zhang Xinli took it from him, took it to the tap, and put it in the pan to fry the last one. Lin Jinyu patted his clothes and got up to get the bowls and chopsticks. A couple who have been cooking and working for many years.

"Uh... this..." The little cousin was so puzzled that he didn't know what to say, reconciled?So fast?Isn't it right, just when you go out to buy a chicken, Feng Shui turns, and the old hen turns into a duck?

Lin Jinyu said, "Sit down, what is this?"

"It's nothing, it's nothing." The little cousin dared not follow his wishes. It was rare for the cousin to speak on his own initiative. When Lin Jinyu said to sit, he immediately sat down.

Xu Zhao slowly put down his phone and came out of the room. Lin Jinyu also told him to sit down, and turned to wash his hands in the bathroom. The little cousin watched his back secretly, and when Zhang Xinli came out after frying the vegetables, he whispered, "What's going on, isn't it always very fast?" Repel you, suddenly there is peace, singing and dancing."

"It's nothing," Zhang Xinli said as if nothing happened, "How could he reject me? You're thinking too much."

"Yo yo yo yo," Xu Zhao was greedy, and was stealing food with chopsticks. Now when he heard Zhang Xinli's words, he threw out a hundred "yo" in an exaggerated tone: "During meal time, it is forbidden to show off in front of the master."

"Huh?" The little cousin was in a daze, took a bowl and prepared to eat.

They usually eat casually, and there is nothing to be courteous among their peers. The three of them took the chopsticks and were about to eat, but they heard a voice from the bathroom: "Brother."

Zhang Xinli and his little cousin responded at the same time.

"..."

???

Lin Jinyu came out, took a tissue from the table, and said to Zhang Xinli, "There's no more soap."

Zhang Xinli said, "Wait and buy."

The little cousin said: "When did you become his elder brother, why did you take my seat?"

Xu Zhao said: "They keep calling it that way, you don't understand the fun."

Little cousin: "..."

...It's really weird, my cousin was clearly a thief and didn't want to see him an hour ago.

Zhang Xinli said: "Aren't you going out to buy chickens, where are the chickens?"

"Ah, I almost forgot!" The little cousin got up: "The impact was too great, and my mind was dizzy... I really don't need anything around here. I can't find any in the big supermarkets, so I had to go to the vegetable market."

The three of them thought that he bought chicken nuggets and came back to stew. Lin Jinyu got up consciously and was about to open the refrigerator, but who knew that the door hadn't been opened yet, when she heard a terrified cry from outside——

???

I saw the little cousin holding the rope tied to the chicken's feet, timidly walking in the door as if carrying a nuclear weapon, and said in the flying chicken feathers: "There are only live chickens left in the vegetable market, what should I do... ...What are you doing standing there? I'm afraid of living things with fur! Hurry up and help me!"

At the dinner table, the three people beside the refrigerator petrified, Xu Zhao maintained the movement of standing up and leaning over to pick up the vegetables, and the egg on the chopsticks fell to the table with a "snap".

"Who..." Zhang Xinli paused, "Who asked you to buy live chickens?"

"It's so unhealthy to freeze it," said the little cousin, "Besides, there is no vegetable market. You know what kind of sick chicken is sick, and it will be sold to you as soon as it is frozen in the refrigerator."

In the southern vegetable market, you can ask the boss to kill it for you. However, the little cousin is not a family man. The number of times he has gone to the vegetable market is one of the few. Kill, the boss is eager to sell the last one and take it home, and urges him to leave, and he really leaves.

"What should I do?" The little cousin had summoned up all the courage to hold the chicken, and just wanted to get rid of it quickly: "Why don't you put it in the bathroom first, feed some rice or something, and then deal with it after it is stewed." Untie the plastic strings from the chicken feet.

Zhang Xinli said: "Stop!"

But it’s too late, the little cousin wants to make this chicken’s last night more comfortable, don’t let the rope affect the blood circulation, amputation or something, pull the plastic rope, and the result will be broken. .

It was too late to say it, and then it was fast, and I saw the half-dead rooster crowing long ago, as if feeling the release of the shackles, kicking its paws and flapping its wings, it turned over like a kite.It was a big fat rooster with a red crown, and its strength was not small. The little cousin had no experience in catching live animals, so he didn't use much strength, so he broke free immediately, and weighed four catties for a big rooster without wings , just like that fluttered in the living room.

"Vegetable! Fuck, vegetable!" The feathers all over the sky were like fucking snowflakes in an instant, Xu Zhao stood up in a "babble", and started to catch the chicken spontaneously out of food protection: "Don't let it fly over!"

The little cousin also subconsciously cursed, and rushed over to catch it, but the rooster was extremely flexible, and the two of them had no experience in catching chickens. They were played around the room by a rooster, and almost didn't get pecked.

Lin Jinyu: "..."