God said I would meet you

Although Kant said that "to be angry is to punish oneself with the mistakes of others", it seems that people can't help self-punishment.

Mustache and the others worked hard to ask for money, but strictly speaking, they didn't enter the unit, they only stood at the door of the street to do their own thing, and they didn't harass unrelated people. afternoon.

The noisy and piercing voice kept ringing outside the window, seemingly colorless and invisible, but to Lin Jinyu, it was the most vicious needle in the world.

But fortunately, after get off work, everything came to an end briefly, and he could go home after get off work.

It started to rain lightly, and the lighting on the first floor of the old community was poor, and the orientation was not good. Even before the sun set, the whole house looked damp and dark. Zhang Xinli and Lin Jinyu returned to this narrow, damp and dark room together.

The old iron door, which has been used for many years, squeaks and squeaks, the house is silent, the doors of the three rooms are closed, the shadow of the old furniture and the dim light make people feel unreasonable Reminds me of the desolate dilapidated house in a thriller.

——In Lin Jinyu's perception at the moment, this is indeed the case.

"Don't take it too seriously," Zhang Xinli said while brushing off the water from his shoes, "I'll go talk to the higher-ups tomorrow, no matter what, it's not worthwhile to make a fuss at the door of the unit."

Lin Jinyu thought to herself: It's useless, no one cares, everyone thinks I'm bad and wants me to disappear from this world.

But he said, "Okay, man, it doesn't really matter, I don't care."

Today they escaped by climbing over the wall from the back building. This kind of escape day after day, racking their brains, made him feel tired. It was really tired. It was the first time. Why did he want to escape? Live so hard, so sneaky.

Zhang Xinli looked at him, Lin Jinyu's expression was flawless, people occasionally awaken some kind of magical skills, as if your body and soul are separated, the body can wear a mask to get along in the crowd, talking about the mountains unscrupulously, while the little self in the heart is in the crowd Sitting in the dark consciousness, he slowly hugged himself tightly.

Zhang Xinli looked at it for a while, but didn't see anything, so he turned on the light and went to the kitchen.

Lin Jinyu stood behind him, lonely, watching his back silently.

Zhang Xinli's mobile phone was placed on the coffee table after he entered the door. At this moment, the screen suddenly lit up. Zhang Xinli turned his back and didn't see it. However, Lin Jinyu saw the message on it. It was from the landlord, reminding them that the household should pay for water and electricity. fee.

The rented water and electricity are charged at commercial prices, which may cost two or three hundred.

"Would you like to eat or noodles?" The social animal works step by step at two o'clock and one line every day, and it's time to cook when I come back. Zhang Xinli opened the refrigerator door and glanced up and down: "There are still dishes."

…I don’t want to eat anything, it’s just a bunch of carbohydrates, it’s the same every time I eat it, and people are also carbohydrates. Lin Jinyu thought: What is the difference between a human being and a corpse?

He said: "Let's eat, aha, I happen to be quite hungry."

Shouldn’t eating noodles be the priority when you’re hungry? It takes at least half an hour to make a meal, and it’ll be ready in a few minutes. Zhang Xinli didn’t understand, but said, “Okay, do you want to stay and watch or go in and play games?”

Lin Jinyu looked at the phone from the corner of her eye and said, "Sit in the living room and wait for you."

Zhang Xinli took the vegetables from the refrigerator to the kitchen and began to wash rice and chop vegetables. Lin Jinyu observed him for a while, and after making sure that he wasn't looking behind him, he picked up his phone and unlocked it—his fingerprints could open Zhang Xinli's lock.

He finished reading the text message and deleted it.

There are several other read messages lying in the inbox. Zhang Xinli is not the kind of person who likes to keep the chat box, or let the processed useless text messages occupy the memory for nothing, so Lin Jinyu saw it in the few lines of the message box at a glance. I got the text message from "Dad".

——Baby, are you done with your work? Your brother starts school, and it's time to be nervous, and your mother and I are also a little anxious.

——You college students, the internship is still on summer vacation. This year, your mother and I are not at home. Your brother may also have to take tuition. Come back and help the family.

……

There are many other things, including the assessment notice sent by the clothing store, Zhang Xinli asked for leave and left early on the day of his attack, was criticized harshly, and his words were ugly, Zhang Xinli never told him.

Lin Jinyu looked at each of them, and Zhang Xinli politely rejected Dad Zhang's text messages. He was bound hands and feet by Lin Jinyu, and he had no spare money or time.

There was the sound of boiling water coming from the sink. After Lin Jinyu finished reading, she locked the screen of her phone and put it back as it was. Even the angle was restored to the same score.

Zhang Xinli was busy in the kitchen, that back figure was sometimes clear and sometimes blurred in Lin Jinyu's consciousness, reminding him of many things—for a few seconds, he felt as if he had returned to high school, as if the high school days that had been blurred in his memory There was indeed such a day, when it was raining heavily outside, and wet clothes were rolling in the washing machine on the balcony, Zhang Xinli stood in the kitchen like this, cooking for him.

After Zhang Xinli finished washing the dishes, he looked outside through the kitchen window. The rain was as thin as a cow's hair—there was no heavy rain.

Lin Jinyu thought: What day was that?Is it today, if only today.

"It's too late to defrost the meat, how about frying an egg for you?"

"Scramble an egg and fried rice," Lin Jinyu said, "and stir-fried pork with cucumber."

"?" Just now I said that the meat was too late to defrost, and there were no cucumbers in the refrigerator. Zhang Xinli told him when he came back from shopping for vegetables. Lin Jinyu must be very aware of what's in the refrigerator when they live together.

Lin Jinyu said: "Remember to put less salt, Lord Salt... cut half a piece of ham."

There is no ham sausage in the refrigerator either.

And that very funny name... Lin Jinyu used to tease him like this in high school, but it is rare after reunion. After all, both of them already know each other's taste. When they eat together, Zhang Xinli will consciously try to follow the taste of Shanghai cuisine. Come on, he felt strange, and said, "Jinyu?"

"..." Lin Jinyu didn't speak.

Zhang Xinli put down the knife, turned around and walked in front of him, Lin Jinyu looked up at him slightly, and said, "What's the matter?"

"What did you just say?" Zhang Xinli knelt and half squatted in front of him: "What do you mean?"

Lin Jinyu glanced over his shoulder, glanced at the knife on the chopping board as if casually, and said, "...I'm just kidding you."

No kidding, he wants to go back, really wants to go back, back to when he was 17 years old... or back to the beginning of life.

Would it be possible to start over from the beginning and choose again, this time he must save money from birth, no snacks, no mobile phones, computers and toys, no coming out of the closet, from the first time he met Zhang Xinli Tell him I love you.

"Really," Zhang Xinli said, "I didn't understand."

Lin Jinyu looked at him, no matter how he tried to hide it, the eyes and eyebrows that he was very familiar with inevitably showed a bit of tiredness, the wheels kept turning every day, wishing that it would be daytime 24 hours a day, he thought, the reason why he was not dragged down by him , it's just that Zhang Xinli's health is in good shape.

"Normal, your sense of humor has always been quite weak," Lin Jinyu patted his face: "Go cook, I'll stay by myself later."

Zhang Xinli didn't leave, but just paused in place, carefully observing the expression on his face.

He was still not sure whether this matter really had no effect on Lin Jinyu's mood as it seemed, and the harsh words of the speaker were still in his ears, whoever it was...it would be impossible for him not to be depressed at all.

But Lin Jinyu never gave him a chance to ask a question when he was in the work unit. He seemed to have suddenly become a workaholic.

Zhang Xinli suspected that the current normal appearance was deliberately disguised by Lin Jinyu, but he was not sure if he was thinking too much.

"If you feel bad, you must tell me," Zhang Xinli said, "Don't lie to me."

"You think too much," Lin Jinyu said, "Why do you think so, I'm fine."

His tone was affirmative, as if drawing a knife to cut off the water, and he was decisive. Zhang Xinli looked down at his hands, and said for a while, "You haven't laughed for a long time."

The kind of happy, real laugh without any courtesy.

……

There was a moment of silence, and Lin Jinyu's hands on her knees clenched into fists involuntarily - that was the unconscious nervous expression of a person with a guilty conscience.

After a while, he moved the corner of his mouth and gave Zhang Xinli the smile he wanted: "...you are too busy, you were not here when I laughed."

In fact, he couldn't laugh when Zhang Xinli was not around.

The inconspicuous little movements of Lin Jinyu's hands did not escape Zhang Xinli's eyes. He took these inconspicuous details into his eyes calmly, remained silent for a few seconds, and said deliberately: "That's good, tomorrow weekend, I will take you to Hospital."

Lin Jinyu's eyelids twitched, and the micro-movements of anxiety became more obvious. He frowned and said, "Didn't you say that there is no need to go?"

"I don't need regular follow-up visits?" Zhang Xinli said, "Why?"

What's the point of asking the same thing over and over again?This sentence had an immediate effect. Lin Jinyu was not as calm as before, and even the speed of speech seemed to speed up. He said, "I'm sure, I've said it many times that I'm fine, why don't you believe it?"

From the beginning to now, how long have you been tossing about this bad disease, and how much time, energy and money has Zhang Xinli wasted?Isn't it just a bad mood? What can I do?It won't kill anyone, Lin Jinyu thought: Please don't ask any more, just leave it alone, I will grit my teeth and get through it.

It should pass.

He said in a disappointed and questioning tone: "You don't believe me?"

"No," Zhang Xinli said, "I just..."

It's just that I'm not sure, I'm just worried. Although Lin Jinyu didn't have the typical symptoms of the first major seizure except for that day, such as prolonged sluggishness, silence, and occasional crying, he still felt a faint sense of uneasiness in his heart.

Lin Jinyu said, "No, just don't doubt me," he said, "Don't worry about me."

The suspicion in Zhang Xinli's eyes did not fade away, but Lin Jinyu noticed it, and said, "I'm hungry, let's cook quickly."

People depend on food, and generally speaking, he would not complain of hunger when he had an attack. Zhang Xinli couldn't refuse for this reason, so he got up and continued to cook.

Lin Jinyu silently looked at the wall clock on the wall behind her back.

More than ten minutes later, the rice cooker beeped, and the cold rice was already cooked. Just as Zhang Xinli finished washing the pot and was about to put the chopped vegetables down for frying, he suddenly felt someone hugging him from behind.

"Are you ready?" Lin Jinyu leaned against him tightly from behind, confining him in the narrow space between herself and the stove, before waiting for Zhang Xinli to reply, she gently bit his ear...he knew it was Zhang Xinli's sensitive point .

In fact, there was no need for Zhang Xinli to answer. The table and the stove were deserted, and the answer was obvious—as long as you were not blind, you could tell that it was not done well.

"Stop making trouble," Zhang Xinli said without moving, "Nothing has been speculated."

"Really," Lin Jinyu still hugged him: "I'm hungry, I can't wait." His hand boldly lifted the hem of his clothes, sliding it on his lower abdomen, and even went straight to the point, touching a more daring place: " Or feed me something else first, huh?"

He moved in a hurry, a deliberate eagerness, as if his body was really burning with desire all of a sudden, unable to wait for anything, Zhang Xinli's eyes flickered, without turning around, he went to grab his groping hand.

"Hurry up," Lin Jinyu wrapped his arms around his waist and groped around his waist: "I can't see the front, take it off yourself."

They haven't been here for a few days. Lin Jinyu knows what Zhang Xinli likes. He likes to fuck him, and he likes to use his mouth. , which means he is fine.

Lin Jinyu was about the same height as him, and when he hugged him from behind, he was firmly pressed in front of him. This was a strong position, just like the upper position during a fight. Zhang Xinli propped himself on the edge of the stove with one hand, and grabbed Lin Jinyu's wrist with the other, trying to take advantage of it. The cleverness of turning around reversed this positional disadvantage, but Lin Jinyu was very determined and kept pressing forward, making it impossible for him to break free from the narrow space.

"Don't move," he whispered in his ear, "I haven't tried this place yet, it's been too long, I use my mouth, you feed me..."

——You can only use your mouth, because of a certain unique physical attribute of a man, he can't pretend to be like a girl.

Zhang Xinli's expression was complicated, and the tip of his ear was a little red. The two wrestled with each other until quite a few were placed aside, and the bowls that were originally intended to hold vegetables made a clanging sound.

Hugging at close range requires physical strength, and the sound of their breathing filled every corner of the kitchen. Lin Jinyu didn't have any intention of letting go of him, and gently rubbed against his neck.