God said I would meet you

Lin Jinyu's conjectures flourished day by day.

He began to have some bizarre dreams, some of which were close to reality, but very distorted.

In the dream at the beginning, he sometimes sat opposite Zhang Xinli, didn’t say anything, just looked at each other for a long time; The cramped rooms of people hug each other tightly, with thick walls and narrow windows.

Later, those dreams became more and more out of bounds, and Lin Jinyu was no longer satisfied with just looking at him and holding hands with him... He began to try to touch Zhang Xinli, stroking his cheeks and forehead with his fingertips , eyebrows, the tip of the nose, and then down across the lips.

Zhang Xinli would open his eyes to look at him, his thick eyelashes trembling slightly in the dim light... Then Lin Jinyu leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly in the interlaced light and shadow.

This kind of reserved kiss gradually became less reserved with the passage of time. In their dreams, they were like all lovers in love, at the stairway, in the classroom, under the statue in front of the teaching building of the attached middle school... in everything they met Face to face, leaning over to kiss.

Just like the blushing dream that Lin Jinyu had in the car that time, when they kissed and warmed up, Zhang Xinli would take the initiative to wrap his arms around his waist, kiss him fascinatedly and engrossedly, and then fell down with him. On the small bed in that old room in Liangshan.

Lin Jinyu was a little scared, but Zhang Xinli held him down and his crotch was pressed against Lin Jinyu, preventing him from getting up.Lin Jinyu could feel the desire in Zhang Xinli's eyes, which was as earnest as his own, but he didn't dare to let Zhang Xinli notice him, and always tried every means to cover it up. (modified)

He said to Zhang Xinli in his dream, "I have always...very...like you."

After those lingering dreams dissipated, all that was left was an emptiness.

Lin Jinyu woke up several times to the noisy wake-up broadcast. His roommates were either sleepy or snoring loudly, while his clothes were soaked in sweat and his underwear was also wet.

He thinks about those messy things all day long, often distracted in class, no one supervises, and always saves homework for morning self-study to copy. When the latest test results came out, Lin Jinyu regressed by more than 200 points.

Teachers and parents are all facing the enemy. Now is the time to exert their strength. Learning is like sailing against the current. If you don’t advance, you will retreat. How can this trend work?

The teachers of each main subject took turns calling him to the office to talk, while the head teacher, Teacher Xia, called home to report his situation to his parents.

Lin Jinyu had to face the teacher's questions time and time again, but he couldn't tell the truth, he couldn't say "Teacher, I think I might be gay" in the office in full view, right?

But the less he talked about it, the more the teachers asked. Caring for students' mental health is a very important part of teachers' work. The teachers tried to find out what happened to this student. Did the parents have a conflict?It was puppy love, bullying, or something else that caused this student whose grades had been stable in the middle and upper reaches to suddenly regress like a cliff.

The academic and emotional pressure was like a mountain, squeezing him from all directions. He began to find out some youth movies to watch, most of which were about those little stories from his school days. After turning off the lights every day, Lin Jinyu hid in the bed alone , watching other people talk about one green love after another at the best age.

In fact, he couldn't find much resonance from it. Many of those youth movies are triangles, hypocrisy and abortion, or Mary Sue, a handsome guy and a goddess.

After watching too much, Lin Jinyu began to wonder if these movies were based on the stories of this world. He thought: Is the youth of normal people really like this?How could we have such an intricate, tortuous and bizarre n-corner relationship, how could we have abortions again and again, how could we just fall in love there without studying all day, as if love is the whole of a person's life... and it seems that easy is No .1.

Some people's youth is struggling between integrating into the group and being excluded by the group, trying to raise their heads amid various inferiority complexes, gritting their teeth with the eyes of their parents' expectations, trying to seek the approval of others, and staggering. Find yourself.

When he was hiding under the quilt to watch this year's popular new youth movie, Wang Xiu sneaked onto his bed again.

Since they got acquainted, Wang Xiu often came to chat with him like this, probably because he regarded Lin Jinyu as one of the few friends who could make friends.

"What are you watching?" Wang Xiu lay down beside him very naturally, then leaned over to take a look, and said, "Isn't this the movie released this year? You still like to watch this."

"Just take a look," Lin Jinyu said, "Tell me, why do they seem to be able to fall in love so easily."

"I said, why are you depressed recently? You're thinking about spring in your relationship."

Lin Jinyu whipped him with the quilt: "You are just thinking about spring."

"I don't miss spring," Wang Xiu said, "I have a sex life."

Lin Jinyu was very curious about how men and men do... that kind of exercise. He wanted to ask, but felt a little ashamed to ask, and finally said coyly, "How do you... that."

Wang Xiu said very bluntly: "Are you talking about having sex?"

"Hush!" Lin Jinyu covered his mouth: "Hush your voice, why are you so blunt, you don't even know how to be tactful."

Wang Xiu took his hand away: "Lue, only a gay guy like you who just entered the circle can be so shy."

Lin Jinyu couldn't understand: "What's in the circle..."

"It's the gay circle."

"There is still a circle in this game?"

"Of course there is," Wang Xiu said, "When there are too many people, they form a circle together. The behavior of the majority of people establishes the atmosphere of the circle... It's useless to say, and you don't understand. Why don't you go into the circle and see for yourself. Look, get to know more gay."

Lin Jinyu was indeed desperately seeking a sense of collective identity. He was a little moved, but when he thought about the recent... his heart stopped moving.He said: "Forget it, you don't know, recently the teacher called me to the office to drink tea as often as going to the toilet, and everyone is talking about studying, studying and studying. Where is the time?"

Wang Xiu said: "Aren't you under too much pressure? Why don't you find an opportunity to relax and relax. Studying in the dormitory will be counterproductive."

After thinking about it, Lin Jinyu thought it made sense, so he asked, "Where are you going to play?"

"Just the gay from last time~" Wang Xiu put on a mysterious expression: "The mixed-race model you missed last time is performing again...and it happens to be on your birthday."

……

When Lin Jinyu followed Wang Xiu out of the hole in the barbed wire fence at the corner of the playground fence, she wondered if she was crazy.

I am a good student who has never skipped classes. How could I do such a thing one day?

You can’t see many stars at night in the urban area. I don’t know which student discovered this hole. The school has never been repaired. It has been passed around, and it has become a secret hole for many social-minded students to sneak out. aisle.

Wang Xiu is obviously one of the long-term customers of this channel. He got through first, and then turned around to pull Lin Jinyu: "Whale, hurry up, I won't be able to catch up with the car later."

Probably people always want to indulge once when they are students. Today is Lin Jinyu's birthday. At noon, Xu Zhao and his group dragged him away. There was a cake fight. At dinner, he was held in the cafeteria by Meng Ge and his roommates, and took a big bag Hanamaki... now she dared to sneak out in the middle of the night and go gay with Wang Xiu.

It was Lin Jinyu's first time to do such an outrageous thing, and she was a little nervous: "I said... we'll be fine, right?"

"Alright," Wang Xiu said, "I've found two people to do the bed check."

"Who?"

"Two sisters, you don't know each other."

Wang Xiu was a bit of a high school courtesan, and Lin Jinyu was out, so it was pointless to worry about what was there and what was not, so she simply didn't want this mess and concentrated on playing.

They got on and off the car all the way, and went to the place where they were last time without stopping, and got their stamps to enter.

Although it is not a weekend, the bar is still lively.

Lin Jinyu came here for the second time, and he became more familiar, and he was not as restrained as last time. He was wearing a printed T-shirt with a luminous effect. He thought it was gaudy enough, but he didn't expect it to be in a nightclub at a midnight show. It's not a big deal at all, Wang Xiu put on exquisite makeup, wearing coquettish shorts, a hundred times exaggerated than him... And there are many people around who wear clothes like him, some show their belly buttons, show their thighs, and wear stockings The drag queen, or the kind of big muscular bully who lives in the gym, with tight tops stretching out explosive muscle contours.

They came late, and when they arrived, the inside was already buzzing. As soon as Wang Xiu went in, she called out to a bunch of little sisters and sisters, and she didn't know if they were real sisters or plastic sisters.

They said, "Wow~ Xiu'er, you girl, is this your new man? Where did you find it? Why have I never found such a handsome guy?"

Lin Jinyu was wearing a hat. She didn't know what to say, so she just kept silent and pretended to be cold.

Wang Xiu said, "Oh no, you bastards, this is my friend."

The group of people laughed at him: "Friend...you're still friends with benefits, what are you pretending to be, you're still ashamed of being an old fritter~"

Countless people on the dance floor were shaking wildly, or they were clapping and screaming at the models on the high stage. Wang Xiu dragged Lin Jinyu straight to the dance floor, and started to play along with the music.

"Wait..." Lin Jinyu was not ready yet, and she was terrified. Wang Xiu said, "Oh, what are you preparing, just play casually!"

It was originally here to relax, what's the point of standing there reservedly like a log, Wang Xiu wanted to take him to play, so she couldn't help but drag Lin Jinyu over and dance with him.

Lin Jinyu couldn't let it go at first, and felt awkward...but everyone on the dance floor was cheering and screaming, and they were so excited that few people had time to watch others. The lights were dim, and the music was crazy. Slowly, he started Infected by this indulgent atmosphere.

On the high platform, the model twisted her waist like a snake, took off her shirt, and set off a small orgasm in the crowd... It was really a beautiful mixed-race face, between Easterners and Westerners, with obvious muscle lines, But not chunky.

His dance is also soft and firm... It was the first time Lin Jinyu felt that a man's face could really be described as "beautiful".

Everyone is cheering for the mixed-race model, people are shoulder to shoulder on the dance floor, and physical contact with strangers is inevitable while moving.

Lin Jinyu felt someone touching him more than once, sometimes it was a hand, sometimes it was his back, shoulders or butt... Even if he has no social experience, he still knows what these seemingly accidental touches represent. Zhang Zhang doesn't know if there is a sincere name post, it is an invitation to have some fun together.

Once a person accepts the concept that "the same sex can also be included in the scope of mate selection", he will feel differently about many things. Lin Jinyu used to think that it would be a bit disgusting for a man to touch a man, but now he thinks it's okay... After all, he also wants to touch. people.

In this kind of occasion, as long as the other party didn't go too far, just pretend to be stupid and avoid it, and just ignore it. Lin Jinyu squeezed in the crowd for a while, feeling a little hot, so she went down to the bar to have a drink and rest for a while.

He sat at the bar, seeing the names of all kinds of drinks made him dizzy, just when Lin Jinyu clicked his tongue at the price tag of [-] yuan for a dozen beers, a familiar voice said behind him: "Are you thirsty, the student is here A glass of alcoholic beverage that is more fruit juice is fine."

Lin Jinyu turned her head and saw Lin Ye holding a glass of wine not far behind her, and slightly raised his glass as a greeting.

"Why are you here?" Lin Jinyu was a little surprised, and also a little surprised, after all, Lin Ye was one of the only two acquaintances he had here.

"I come here often," Lin Ye said, "My boss and I are acquaintances."

...I see, it really is the world of adults.

Lin Jinyu looked at it for a long time and still didn't know what to drink. Lin Ye came over and recommended, "How was the cup last time? It tastes sweeter and the strength is not too high."

Lin Jinyu didn't understand this either, so she said, "Whatever."

Lin Ye ordered a drink for him and asked, "How are you and your straight boyfriend doing?"

As soon as Lin Jinyu mentioned this, he became depressed: "What else can I do?" He said, "He doesn't know anything."

"I guess it's the same," Lin Ye thought for a while, and said, "But..."

Before he finished speaking, Wang Xiu jumped back out of nowhere and said, "Whale, why are you sitting back again? Since you want to relax, then go play!"

Lin Jinyu said, "Ah... I'm chatting with a friend."

Wang Xiu also remembered Lin Ye, and he said, "What are you talking about?"

"Talk..." Lin Jinyu said, "My brother."

"Why do you still miss him?" Wang Xiu said, "Did you forget why the two of us sneaked out? At this moment, let's just play around, why are you still thinking about him, why not be more noble!"

"I'm just..." It's just that I still hold such unrealistic fantasies.Lin Jinyu asked: "Do you think he...is a straight man?"

Lin Ye and Wang Xiu said at the same time:

"No."

"Yes."

These two people actually gave completely opposite answers. Wang Xiulan covered her mouth with her fingers, looked surprised, and said to Lin Ye: "Please, don't mislead him, he is straight at first glance, okay, full of straight men Breath, gay poison."

"I thought so too at first, but..." Lin Ye stopped talking halfway: "Forget it, I'm actually not sure, I just think it's weird and I can't tell."

Lin Ye stopped talking, but Lin Jinyu was eager to hear it. He said, "Say it, what's the matter with half of it?"

"I really can't tell," Lin Ye said, "When a person suppresses and hides himself completely, outsiders really can't see through..." He paused, as if hesitating whether to say the next thing , and finally said: "But I still want to persuade you, even if your straight boyfriend is double, you'd better not be with him... I know you may not like to hear it, but..." Lin Ye sighed Tone: "As a person who has experienced it, I still have to warn the younger generation."

"Why..." Lin Jinyu asked, "Why don't you tell him..."

"Because if you don't even dare to accept yourself, then even if he likes you, he will leave you one day." Lin Ye drank his wine and said, "One day he will leave you alone to get married , having children, loving other women... that's too much, isn't it?"

Lin Jinyu remembered Zhang Xinli telling him that if he got married that day, he must do something...

He thought: Yes, in Zhang Xinli's life plan, his life will be normal, he will have a wife, children, his younger brother, and a large family. One day they will graduate, grow up, and live in different places. Running around, he is not in that big family.

Lin Jinyu was visibly depressed, and Lin Ye patted him: "I'm sorry, I just... want to remind you. It's okay, there are so many people in this world, they can always find someone who loves you."

Love me... Lin Jinyu suddenly remembered those romantic movies. Once the hero and heroine are not together, it will be like the sky falling. Suddenly, the sky is dark, the sun and the moon are dark. He used to think it was very hypocritical, and life is not only a play of love So, as for it... Now I feel a little empathetic.

"Understood," he said, "I didn't think there would be any stories at first, you go and play, don't worry about me."

Wang Xiu's sisters came to him again, and Lin Ye also had a lot of acquaintances here, Lin Jinyu didn't want to disturb them like a burden to have fun, he just wanted to be alone for a while now.

Lin Ye knew that this kind of problem can only be figured out by himself, and outsiders can't help, so he got up and said, "Take it easy, relax, get to know other people more, have fun...you will slowly let go too likely."

They went to play their own games, and Lin Jinyu sat alone at the bar, drinking the glass of wine that Lin Ye ordered for him.

The surrounding atmosphere was still very lively. Lin Jinyu sat alone for a while, and suddenly someone walked up to him and asked, "Hey, friend, why are you sitting alone in YUXI and not going to play?"

Lin Jinyu looked up and saw a man in his twenties wearing glasses approaching him at some point. He said, "If you don't want to go, then don't go."

The man he didn't know said, "Can I buy you a drink?"

Normally, Lin Jinyu would have declined, but now he is depressed, and those desires to respond weigh on him like a heavy stone... He wants someone to understand him, talk to him, and solve his doubts.

Lin Jinyu said, "Whatever."

The man then handed him the wine in his hand. The glass of wine was glowing golden, and it looked very beautiful under the dancing lights.

"What's this?"

The man smiled and said, "Try the special cocktail, it tastes good."

Lin Jinyu took it and took a sip.Really delicious, fragrant and sweet.

The man sat down beside him and said, "Why are you alone? Are you in a bad mood?"

Before Lin Jinyu could reply, he said again, "Actually, I just lost my relationship and I'm not in a good mood."

Lin Jinyu's current psychological feelings are also close to being broken in love. Hearing what the man said, he couldn't help feeling a little sympathetic.

"It seems that we are destined." The man said, and pressed his hand on Lin Jinyu's shoulder. The two brothers seemed to squeeze it. When they took it back, they dragged along his arm for a long time.

Lin Jinyu held the wine glass and looked down at him with a blank expression on his face.

This man may think he is polite, but in fact his thoughts are written on his face.Lin Jinyu asked directly, "Are you 1 or 0?"

The man was stunned for a moment, and then realized that Lin Jinyu had understood his hint. He adjusted his glasses and said with a smile, "Actually, it depends on you...but I still tend to be zero."

"Oh." Lin Jinyu took a look at him, pushed the glass of wine back to him expressionlessly, and said, "Well...it's a pity, I'm not interested."

"Don't refuse so quickly," the man said, "Is it a collision? This... If it doesn't work, I can also reciprocate, okay? I really like you."

You can say that you like me so frankly within 3 minutes of meeting?Lin Jinyu didn't like frivolous people. He sat up straight, turned his chair around, and made a gesture to leave, and said, "Sorry, that's not the problem, it's just...not interested in you."

Generally, when a hooker hears this, he should leave, but that man has a bad reputation in this area, and he is notorious for being a stalker.He grabbed Lin Jinyu's hand and said, "It's even better if you don't hit the number. I have good skills, and it will be fun for you to be 1. Try it."

It's very annoying to say such things when others refuse, Lin Jinyu frowned: "Release."

The man didn't let go, Lin Jinyu said, "Looking for a beating?"

The man seemed to be a little strong on the outside, but afraid of Lin Jinyu's tough attitude, he let go of his hand.Lin Jinyu turned around and wanted to leave, but the man said, "Wait! I don't mean anything malicious, I just like you too much." He said, "I'm sorry I offended you just now, but forget it if you don't want to. How about finishing this glass of wine? Please, I owe you an apology."

Lin Jinyu saw his low eyebrows and pleasing eyes, and felt a lot less vigilant in his heart.

It's actually quite polite... As the saying goes, you don't hit a smiling face with your hand, and Lin Jinyu has always been kind to others outside, so she drank the glass of golden wine without brushing off his face.

The man said, "Thank you, I'm really sorry just now."

"It's okay." Lin Jinyu didn't want to talk to him, so she turned and left.

The man stood behind him and watched him until Lin Jinyu's back disappeared into the dancing crowd.

……

The dance floor was crowded with people, and the waves of sound followed.

Lin Jinyu turned seven times and eight times, and finally found Wang Xiu, who was laughing wildly in the crowd, and said, "Shall we go back?"

"Why are you going back so early?" Wang Xiuzheng swayed against a burly man with a flat head, "Look, look, the show isn't over yet."

Lin Jinyu looked in the direction of his finger, and saw that the mixed-race model had already stripped off all her upper body clothes, and her lower body was almost the same... basically only her underwear was left, and she was dancing a very suggestive dance around the pole.

... To be honest, it danced very well. Lin Jinyu blushed and her heart beat after watching it for a few moments.He inexplicably felt a little hot. It must be because there were too many people on the dance floor, and the body temperature was piled up. Could it not be hot?

He said: "When will you stay? It's too late. It's better to go back early."

Wang Xiu said, "Where are you going back? You don't want to go back to school, do you? You can't even get in through the dormitory door."

Lin Jinyu was dumbfounded, yes, it seems to be the case... the door of the dormitory floor will also be locked.

He asked: "What should I do then?"

"What should I do?" Wang Xiu said, "Have fun, and then go to open a room and sleep outside."

Doesn't this... this, this, become a night out?Lin Jinyu thought: The consequences sound a bit serious.

He said: "Wait, blah, blah... Is this necessary? Wait, I'll call and ask the room chief."

As Lin Jinyu said, she reached for her phone, but it was empty.

Strange, where is his cell phone?

Lin Jinyu was stunned again, she was still there just now, but the phone disappeared, this is a big deal!

On the other side, in the bathroom of the bar.

Lin Ye flicked on the phone that he had just found from the man with glasses.

This man has a very bad reputation, not to mention being a stalker, his hands and feet are not clean, and customers often lose things after talking with him, so the boss pays special attention to this man... and Lin Ye happens to know the boss very well.

He went into the bathroom to wash his face, but just bumped into this guy sneaking around with a cell phone that kept ringing all the time, he couldn't sit still, blame him for his poor acting skills and guilty conscience As if sitting on pins and needles, no matter how you look at it, there is a problem.

Lin Ye just went up to ask a few words and he recruited. He said that he accidentally took someone else's, and he didn't know who the owner was. He threw the phone at Lin Ye, turned around and ran away.

Lin Ye looked at the caller id above that was disconnected and called again, and no one answered and then disconnected, his eyebrows were raised, and a playful light flashed in his eyes.

He had heard that name from Wang Xiu. Isn't this just... 26 missed calls were displayed on the screen. This guy really has perseverance.

Lin Ye opened the soundproof bathroom door, and saw Lin Jinyu being crowded by countless men on the distant dance floor. Occasionally, someone would come up to him and ask for his contact information.

Lin Ye looked at it for a while, closed the door, and picked up the phone when it called again: "Hello?" He said lazily, "Who are you looking for? Oh...he's not here, he's busy dancing with others Well... I'm his friend," Lin Ye said, "Who are you? I haven't heard that he has an older brother... Ah, don't get excited, just for fun... Don't, don't, I'll tell you it's okay Well, you must not!"

Lin Ye's tone was extremely frightened, but his face was full of old spirit: "I'll send it to you, and I'll send it to you right away."

He hung up the phone, typed a series of addresses and sent them over.

Get it!

Lin Ye put away his phone, whistled, looked at Lin Jinyu under the blurred light through the crack of the door, and said to himself: OK, now let's see how your 'straight boyfriend' will react...