God said I would meet you

"I don't know what happened to me, it might be crazy, it's unbelievable, but it happened...I never thought I'd love him any more than I ever thought I'd know him. "

It has been three days since Zhang Xinli left home, and Lin Jinyu has been writing a diary for three days.

He didn't call his parents because he didn't think it was necessary.Anyway, there is water, electricity and internet, and there are people cooking, but I just stay alone, and I don’t need to notify anyone at all.

A person should be free. Lin Jinyu sometimes felt that it was annoying to be controlled by others. He had imagined countless times that one day he would be able to stay like this now, no one was at home, and no one could control him, but when he really He was alone, and he felt lonely again.

As long as he was free, all he could think about was Zhang Xinli, where is this guy now?Is everything taken care of?Have you run into any trouble...

I think about it day and night, and I think about it endlessly.Lin Jinyu sat at the desk, opened the address book, turned to Zhang Xinli's position, just looked at it, and did not dial out for a long time.

...Let's just forget about it. If you leave in such a hurry, who knows if he is busy. It would be bad if you delay his work.

But I really want to talk to someone... Lin Jinyu glanced around with "Zhang Xinli" as the center, and suddenly glanced at Wang Xiu's number.

Lin Jinyu's relationship with him is not bad now. Although many boys are disgusted with Wang Xiu's character and behavior, Lin Jinyu feels okay after getting used to it... After all, he didn't mess with him, so there's no reason to hate him.

He hesitated for a while, and finally tapped Wang Xiu on QQ.

Lin Jinyu typed: are you there, chat for a while?

Wang Xiu quickly replied to him: What, you miss me so much~

He always talked like this, but Lin Jinyu ignored it, and then typed: Boring...wanting to chat casually, he asked: Do you have a boyfriend?

Wang Xiudao: Straight man speaks so directly, why ask this.

Just ask, Lin Jinyu started to make nonsense: I have never met someone like you before, so I am a little curious.

Wang Xiu said: For people like me, you can just say gay or not.

I'm not trying to be euphemistic, Lin Jinyu said: I want to know more about your world.

Wang Xiu said: "It has nothing to do with whether I have a boyfriend or not. If you want to know, why don't you just go to a gay bar with me."

Gay right?What it is?Lin Jinyu has only heard of Ali Baba, Qingba bar, but never heard of gay bar.

In fact, there are quite a few gay bars in Shanghai. They are hidden in the streets and alleys. Most people who have nothing to do with this small world do not know their existence.

Just take it literally, Wang Xiu said: If you want to go, let's go play together someday, many sisters like to play.

Lin Jinyu was a little tempted. He himself liked to explore novel things, not to mention this moment when he urgently needed to communicate with others of his kind.

Wang Xiu said: Is your home convenient? You can wait for a few days to go. There are many people on weekends, and there are special programs, which are more fun.

It just so happens that no one is in charge of the family right now, and he can go wherever he wants. This is simply a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.Lin Jinyu said: OK, so what time is it on the weekend?

Of course it was night, Wang Xiu said: But it’s not good if it’s too late, maybe around ten o’clock.

Too early and no atmosphere, too late... You never know what monsters and ghosts will appear in the gay bar after two o'clock in the morning. Wang Xiu didn't want to scare Lin Jinyu.

So it was decided, Lin Jinyu had been waiting for Zhang Xinli to call him, but he didn't wait until the weekend.

……

At ten o'clock at night, Lin Jinyu got off at the appointed bus stop.

Frankly speaking, he is a little nervous. It is easy for people to demonize a minority group that is unknown to him, and Lin Jinyu is no exception.

In his imagination, this group of people is shrouded in a veil of mystery, and each of them has a unique style, which is different from ordinary people.

Not long after he waited at the station, Wang Xiu arrived.Although you don't look at your ID card when you go in, you will still be stopped if you look too much like a student, so both of them are dressed more maturely, like the kind of young people who come to play casually.

"Let's go," Wang Xiu said, "On the third floor, the bar here is more lively, and there are many foreigners. It's big and handsome."

...that's really exciting ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lin Jinyu followed him. When he came to the door, he hadn't officially entered yet. He had already felt a strong gay atmosphere in the passage outside. There were several men leaning on the railings on both sides in twos and threes. All of them had shorts that did not reach their knees and were smoking cigarettes. Chatting and chatting, looking at the passing men.

After paying an entrance fee of 80 yuan, the staff stamped their arms.Lin Jinyu realized that this was the "admission ticket". This fluorescent laser pattern only appeared under the purple light, and it was all the evidence for entering and leaving the venue.

It was just after ten o'clock when they arrived, and there were not many people in the bar. A screensaver composed of the bar's logo and rainbow colors was frozen on the small screen. There were people singing on the stage to warm up the scene, and most of them were drinking in front of the bar. chat.

Most of them are adult men in their 20s and 30s, and there are also girls. Lin Jinyu felt a little restrained when he came to this environment for the first time. He asked Wang Xiu in a low voice, "Is there anything I need to pay attention to?"

"It's just like an ordinary bar, take good care of your belongings, there's nothing else to do," Wang Xiu thought for a while, and then said, "It's nothing to ugly guys. Be careful..." He looked at Lin Jinyu and said, "Well...you probably need to be careful."

Lin Jinyu thought it was impossible, everyone seemed calm and polite now.

As time went by, the number of people in the bar began to increase, and the songs on stage became more and more exciting, gradually shifting from love songs to heavy metal rock music with a strong sense of rhythm. Obviously, Wang Xiu often came here to play, and there were many people Everyone knew him, came up to greet him, and made fun of each other.

The bare-chested muscular bartender stands in front of the bar, and customers can feel free to go up and touch it.

Lin Jinyu couldn't let go, he sat there alone, neither rocking to the music, nor chatting around, he didn't even dare to make eye contact with other people, so he ordered a glass of wine and sat down to drink.

The sound of the music was so loud that people's eardrums were rumbling, and the dance floor was also opened. Countless people stood on the floating floor and dangled in the colorful lights. On the originally empty high stage, hot models began to come out to perform. He is a muscular man who relies on his body for food. He started wearing shirts, vests, and trousers. He danced and began to take off one by one. Every time he took off one piece, the crowd around him burst into screams like mountains and seas.

Lin Jinyu has to admit that this is really exciting. Body, lighting and heavy metal music weave a small world temporarily detached from reality inside this small bar. Countless people come here to vent their pressure when night falls. Seeking emotional liberation, they may be white-collar workers in suits and ties, small shop owners, students, teachers... They may be anyone, and they are all gay.

Some couples who came together would dance face to face on the dance floor, some danced and kissed, and one couple was even less than five steps away from Lin Jinyu. They kissed so devotedly and passionately in full view of everyone.

Lin Jinyu blushed a little, but everyone else seemed to be okay. Almost everyone here was releasing their nature.

"Go and play too." Wang Xiu also twisted, but probably to accompany Lin Jinyu, he stayed by the side and didn't go far.

"No, I look fine."

The male models on the stage changed wave after wave, one wave was more revealing, and one wave was less dressed than one wave. Occasionally, a bold customer would spontaneously go up to do a pole dance or something, causing the crowd to boo and scream.

It's so easy to let go, Lin Jinyu complained in her heart while drinking: The world of adults is colorful.

Just as he was thinking about it, he was suddenly squeezed by the dancers next to him. It was inevitable, and it wasn't a private room. There were too many people on the dance floor on the terrace, so it was inevitable to encounter them sometimes.

Lin Jinyu thought it was just an accident, so he didn't pay much attention, as if he didn't feel it, and didn't even look at the person who hit him... But soon he felt something was wrong, the person who bumped him didn't leave , but kept sticking around Lin Jinyu, even standing behind him, reaching out to touch his upper arm and hand.

This kind of situation is very common in nightclubs. When you come here, you come here to seek excitement by default. There are tentative touches and buttocks. If you don’t like it, you can politely refuse.

Lin Jinyu backed away a little, wanting to stay away from that person, but maybe his refusal was a bit cryptic, the person didn't understand it, and still touched his hand with his hand.

God, I'm going to turn around and tell him no, not interested?Lin Jinyu was struggling, and he turned his eyes to Wang Xiu for help. Although Wang Xiu really wanted to have fun, but since Lin Jinyu was brought in by him, he had to be responsible to others, so he controlled himself with a sense of responsibility. Seeing that it was time for him to go out, he put his hand in and stared at the man fiercely.

That look was really super fierce, the man probably understood the meaning of "I don't want to play with you" conveyed by them, and withdrew his hand and left.

"You can just avoid it," Wang Xiu said, "Although everyone is having fun on this occasion, you should still follow your wishes. There is no need to yell and clearly express the meaning of rejection, and most people will accept it." hand."

Lin Jinyu replied: "I have learned." He was a little suffocated after drinking too much water, so he said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

Wang Xiu nodded: "Come back soon, I heard that the boss invited a very famous model to come here today, don't miss it."

Lin Jinyu wasn't particularly interested in these things. Those male models had really nice muscles, but...he didn't like them too much.

Going out to the small gate, the blasting music was finally cut off, and Lin Jinyu felt as if he had just entered a certain monk's temple, which was extremely clean.

He went to the toilet, and when he came out to wash his hands, he heard the phone buzzing. Lin Jinyu was taken aback. Who would call him in the middle of the night?

It was too noisy on the dance floor, so this is the only place where he could answer the phone. He took out his mobile phone, his eyes lit up when he saw the caller ID, he quickly connected, and said, "Hello?"

"Why did you go?" Zhang Xinli said from the opposite side, "Do you know how many times I called you in one night?"

"No reason..." Lin Jinyu said, "It's too noisy, I didn't hear the phone ring."

The sound insulation effect of the wall is very good, but there is still a faint sound coming in. Zhang Xinli said, "Where are you? I seem to hear music. Are you still playing outside?"

It was nearly twelve o'clock at midnight, and Lin Jinyu didn't dare to let him know that he was gay when he went to the nightclub at this time, so he lied and said, "No, uh... it should be the sound of the TV Bar."

Zhang Xinli was dubious: "Really?"

"Otherwise, where else could I go?" Lin Jinyu changed the topic: "How are you doing?"

Zhang Xinli was silent for a second, and said: "It's not very good... His parents have left, and my parents went to Guangzhou to work. I was afraid that he would be overwhelmed, so I brought him with me. I want to watch him for a few days... It should be a little bit More stops." He said: "I just called you about this matter, have your parents come back? I'll take him to the hotel when I come back, can you let Zhang Xinhe stay at home for a night if he doesn't come back?"

"Of course you can live here." Lin Jinyu didn't realize it a little bit: "You just said... you left... what do you mean..."

"It literally means, passed away."

Lin Jinyu was stunned, and his whole body was like a thunderbolt for a moment: "Just kidding, last year was fine, how could it be..."

"His mother had breast cancer. Do you remember the days when my parents went out to take care of his mother who had undergone surgery, but it recurred at the beginning of this year and walked very fast... His father was drinking outside He was hacked, he went to the hospital but was not rescued, and he hasn’t been caught yet.”

Breast cancer is the nightmare of many women. Natural disasters and man-made disasters are a blessing in disguise. It was the first time Lin Jinyu felt that death was so close to him.

Lin Jinyu said, "Is he okay?"

"I don't know, I haven't talked all the time, and I don't eat much."

"That's not good!" Lin Jinyu said loudly into the phone: "Talk to him more, you will arrive at the station at 01:30, right? Do I need to pick you up? Have you brought all the changes of clothes?"

"No need," Zhang Xinli said in a low voice, "I've brought everything, just leave a door for me."

"OK, come back quickly. You look at him more along the way, and talk to him more. Don't hesitate to say that words are like gold, and saliva is so valuable."

"Understood," Zhang Xinli said, "You..."

Lin Jinyu couldn't imagine how a 15-year-old child would feel if his mother and father were gone in a short period of time. If it were him, he might have gone crazy, and he might commit suicide by jumping off the car. He anxiously stood behind the door Walking up and down, I wanted to tell Zhang Xinli something more: "Be sure to comfort him more, at least drink a few sips of water, eat something, and tell him that his parents' greatest wish is for him to be well, and don't do anything stupid."

"You are better at comforting people," Zhang Xinli said, "You..."

Before he finished speaking, the door of the bathroom painted with spray paint was suddenly pushed open with a "bang". Lin Jinyu happened to be standing behind the door, and was so focused on the phone that he didn't pay attention at all. Right now, my shoulders are numb.

The person who pushed the door said, "Sorry, I didn't know there was someone behind."

Lin Jinyu looked up, he was a very temperamental man, with British-style hair, that kind of hairstyle would look sloppy and greasy on ordinary people, but he kept it just right, with a kind of style between gentleness and slutty breath.

Lin Jinyu subconsciously said, "Ah...it's okay, I didn't pay attention."

The man smiled, and signaled him very gentlemanly to ignore him and continue to call.

Zhang Xinli said, "Who is next to you? Didn't you say you were watching TV?"

Lin Jinyu didn't expect that the lie he just told would be exposed so quickly, he said: "Uh... Anyway, pay more attention to your brother, go home quickly, and leave the door for you, OK, that's it, bye!"

After speaking, without waiting for Zhang Xinli to reply, he hung up the phone with a snap.

The man came out after washing his hands just now, and said to Lin Jinyu, "Come to play alone?"

"No...he came with friends," Lin Jinyu said, "He's outside."

"Oh," the man said, "you don't come to this kind of place often, are you a student?"

Lin Jinyu wondered how he could tell, he thought for a while, and decided to tell the truth: "Yes, student."

The man winked at him: "I'm a student too, but I'm graduating soon."

There are many colleges and universities in Shanghai. Lin Jinyu looked very young, probably a senior in a university: "I'm only in high school."

"It's not good for high school students to come to this kind of place," the man said, "It's rare to have the opportunity to choose your own life. It's better to study hard."

"I just came to play out of curiosity." Lin Jinyu didn't hate him. The man spoke very well, neither seemed too close, but also very modest, so he said a few more words, "What about you? Come to find... Boyfriend?"

The man raised his eyebrows: "I'm just here to relax...but I don't reject finding a boyfriend."

Lin Jinyu recalled the vocabulary she had learned from Wang Xiu, and asked tentatively, "Are you... 1 or 0?"

"Unless you want to date someone, it's impolite for a stranger who doesn't even know his name to ask such a question," the man said, "Let's get to know each other first, my name is Lin Ye."

It turned out to be a surname, Lin Jinyu said, "My name is Lin Jinyu."

"It's a predestined relationship," Lin Ye said, "Looks like it was a family 500 years ago." He opened the door: "Let's go, don't you want to go back and leave the door open for your boyfriend?"

Boyfriend... Lin Jinyu blushed and said, "He's not..."

"No need to deny it," Lin Ye turned his head and blinked at him: "I don't catch puppy love, haven't you heard the saying, 'Like can't be hidden, even if you cover your mouth, it will come from your eyes run out.'"

Lin Jinyu said, "Is it so obvious?"

Lin Ye whistled: "Well, it's obvious."

What's the use of being obvious, anyway, he doesn't understand... Hey, hey, what am I thinking, it's right not to understand, and he must never be allowed to understand.

Lin Ye looked at him in a daze, and said, "Little brother, your thoughts are as straightforward as written on your face, come out, buy you a glass of wine, and talk about your 'prospective boyfriend'. "

……

Lin Jinyu was a little embarrassed. For adults, falling in love may be a common thing, just like eating and drinking. But for Lin Jinyu, it is so mysterious and shy, like a budding rose.

Lin Ye ordered him a cup of not too rainy drink.Strong wine: "This one is better, it tastes like juice, and it probably suits you."

"Thank you," Lin Jinyu took a sip and said, "Actually, there is nothing to talk about," he said, "It's not my boyfriend, he doesn't like me, it's as simple as that."

Lin Ye pursed his lips: "...Okay, clean and tidy, dull and sad, but don't be too sad, it is always harder for us to fall in love than others," he said: "There will be love, and there will be bread of."

Lin Jinyu asked, "Have you ever talked about a boyfriend?"

Lin Ye replied: "A lot... But it's still the same as you now."

Lin Jinyu then asked: "They are all... Are they all gay? Is there someone who doesn't like men at first, but gradually likes them later?"

"The person you like is a straight man," Lin Ye said, "Ah...a moment of silence for you, don't like straight men, they will leave you eventually."

This answer was expected by Lin Jinyu, but he was still very disappointed. Damn, I know, who doesn’t know that normal men will never like men, but I can’t tell myself that it’s impossible, and become Don't like him anymore.

Lin Ye probably sensed that he was very disappointed, and comforted him: "Don't be too discouraged. Fortunately, you are still young. According to my experience, the student days are the only opportunity for miracles to appear. Maybe after daily fighting, he really slowly faded away. ...Don't worry too much about the result, it's good to have it once, right? "

Lin Jinyu felt that he was simply comforting himself, he glanced at his watch, and it was almost a little: "Thank you, but you don't need to comfort me," he said, "I should go home, I can't let my family find out that I go to such a place in the middle of the night. "

"The bus and the subway have already stopped," Lin Ye got up and said, "For the sake of being a handsome guy, let me see you off."

Wang Xiu had already had a good time while he was away. Lin Jinyu called him back and hesitated for a while whether to take Lin Ye's car... Finally, he compromised, because he had to go back before Zhang Xinli arrived home, otherwise he would be exposed.

Wang Xiu's house is not far from here, but he upholds the mentality of being responsible to the end, and he must watch Lin Jinyu enter the house before he can rest assured.

Lin Ye drove very steadily and quietly, completely different from Uncle Zhao's bold and unrestrained style. Lin Jinyu watched the scenery flash by outside the car window, and arrived in a short while.

At 01:30 at night, only the street lights were still on in the community, Lin Ye opened the car door and got out, and went to the other side to open the door for Lin Jinyu and Wang Xiu.

Putting it on others is obviously a gesture of courteousness, but he did it just right, so that people don't feel flattering, but only feel educated.

"Hurry up and go home," Lin Ye said to Lin Jinyu before he got out of the car, bowing his head, "Don't let mom and dad find out."

The car door obscured the exact distance, and from a distance they seemed very close.

Wang Xiu jumped out of the car following Lin Jinyu, and jumped on him: "Did you have fun today, Hani! I'm afraid you're bored."

Lin Jinyu carried him behind her back, took his hand hanging around her neck, and said, "It's good, I really saw a lot of things."

Wang Xiu said: "You missed the performance of that super handsome mixed-race model! Let's go together next time!"

He must have drunk a lot, and he looked very excited. Lin Jinyu patted his hand and said, "Okay, okay, come down."

Wang Xiu jumped down, and the night wind blew a few strands of grass, which floated to Lin Jinyu's shoulders. Lin Ye had an obsessive-compulsive disorder and helped him remove them. From the other side, he seemed to reach out and caress Lin Jinyu's cheek.

Lin Jinyu was about to say thank you, but before she could say it, she saw two figures walking out of the shadows in front of the building, and Zhang Xinli's voice sounded from the other side: "What are you doing?"

Wang Xiu was taken aback for a moment, but Lin Jinyu was startled suddenly, and hurriedly turned around, keeping a distance from Lin Ye and Wang Xiu, fearing that Zhang Xinli would find out if he went to a nightclub.

Zhang Xinli came over, inserted between him and Lin Ye, glanced at Lin Ye, then at Lin Jinyu: "Do you know each other?"

"Recognize..." Lin Jinyu thought: How should I answer, does it count as acquaintance after just knowing each other for half an hour?

Lin Ye deliberately said, "We know each other. We hit it off right away. We had a great time talking." After speaking, he looked over Zhang Xinli at Lin Jinyu, winked at him, and said, "Isn't it?"

Wang Xiu hugged Lin Jinyu's hand and said, "Oh, I must know him. He sent Xiaoyu back. How could he not know him, right?"

"Where did you go?" Zhang Xinli said, "I lied and said I was watching TV at home, but in the end I went to play with men?"

Wang Xiu said: "What's the matter with playing, playing with men and women is not the same, and there is nothing to do, just play, and there is no partner, there is nothing not to play with."

Zhang Xinli frowned: "Don't think I don't know who you are, don't make plans on him."

Listening to what he said, Lin Jinyu had an illusion. He couldn't tell whether Zhang Xinli was dissatisfied with him for running out to play and lie in the middle of the night...or dissatisfied with him for running out to play with other men.

Other men... that's a strange word.

Wang Xiu almost never deliberately concealed that he was gay in school, and it was not surprising that he noticed Zhang Xinli. This kind of talk was nothing. Well, Xiaoyu and I are good friends," he pretended to be shy and said, "Actually speaking of making up your mind, I'm more interested in you~"

Lin Jinyu: "?"

Zhang Xinli said, "I'm not interested in men."

Lin Ye kept an attitude of staying out of the matter, and only moved his eyebrows slightly when he heard this sentence, and looked at Lin Jinyu, showing a slightly sad expression.

Lin Jinyu thought: I already knew that.

He yelled impatiently, and said, "Stop talking nonsense, okay? If you want to go home, go back quickly, and say something inappropriate." While talking, he pulled Zhang Xinli and left.

Being pulled by him, Zhang Xinli turned his head and glanced back, his eyes swept over Lin Ye and Wang Xiu in turn, that look did not fall into Lin Jinyu's eyes, but Lin Ye found it very interesting.

Perhaps even Zhang Xinli himself didn't realize that it was a look of warning and demonstration, like a lion demonstrating on the edge of its territory.

Zhang Xinhe stood in the shadows in front of the building, his eyes were lowered, his face was expressionless, and he was almost completely different from the pretty smiling child in Lin Jinyu's memory.

He didn't say a word from the beginning to the end, and he didn't look at this side much, just like a dumb scarecrow, standing quietly in the shadow of the city.