their ten years

The family had no savings, so I told my dad that I would go home and raise him. My dad didn’t say anything, but said that if I wanted to run away, he wouldn’t come to me anymore, since his son would have died long ago. !Xiao Qi, you know, my father doesn't want me anymore, and my mother is sad for me again, do you know how I felt at that time, you definitely don't know, the pain of bone erosion!

I can no longer find the meaning of my life. I have to rely on sleeping pills to fall asleep every day, and I was awakened by nightmares early. At that time, I felt that my depression had relapsed. By the way, you don’t know it. In the year I went to the UK, I suffered from depression. I spent the whole third year of high school, but it was mild. Later, I took some medicine and slowly recovered under the guidance of a psychologist. I didn’t expect that I had it again this time. Knowing that depression is very dangerous, it will make people have suicidal tendencies, but this time, I voluntarily, I really feel that I don't need to live anymore, I live with guilt and guilt towards my parents and you every day In self-blame, I am really tired, very tired, I just want to take a break, let me take a good breath, let my ears be clean, I know, so I will never see you again, but, I I don’t have the courage to see you again, and I know you will definitely come back to find me, but I really can’t be with you anymore, I just think of my dad’s indifferent eyes, my mother’s crying face paralyzed on the bed, the village Seeing my parents pointing and pointing, I'm about to collapse!

Xiao Qi, I know I'm selfish, I know I'm bad, I'm always timid, I'm not as brave as you, from the very beginning of our relationship, you have been wronging yourself, I was brave once, but I made it like this , Xiao Qi, I really want to see you once, just one time, I really miss your embrace, your warmth, the tenderness when you called me baby, Xiao Qi, I love you, my greatest achievement in this life is to be with you Meet, get to know each other, and love each other.

Xiao Qi, promise me, this is my last request. After I die, you can suffer for me for the whole time, but you must live a happy and happy life, otherwise, I will not feel at ease.Do you remember when we watched Titanic?I didn't understand the ending before, why the old Rose faced the sea and told the dead Jack that she had been married several times and had several children.Now I understand that to love someone is to let him know how happy he is, because this is what he wants to see most.I hope that you are still so optimistic, confident and strong in the days without me. You will definitely find someone who loves you in the future, and you will live happily ever after. I don’t know where people will go after they die, but no matter where I am , I will love you, I will always bless and care for you, you must live a more exciting and fulfilling life, because this is our common life, promise me, promise me, my love!

By the way, before I left, I sorted the clothes into categories, from left to right, from small to large. I won’t be by your side in the future, so don’t put them randomly, it will be hard to find.

Also, if you have a headache, you need to take a break, don't always work, I won't be here in the future, you can take it easy, you know, don't work so hard, I will feel bad, it is best to find a time to see a doctor, don't take painkillers all the time Medicine, this is not good, it will lead to dependence, this is what makes me most disturbed, I can't take good care of you when I am alive.

Also, you obviously know how to cook, but you still oppress me. I won’t be around anymore, so don’t always order takeout at home, try to cook it yourself, the outside is unhygienic (I heard that some big hotels use waste oil).

Also, you must promise me to live happily, continue to find your own happiness, and move forward bravely. I will always silently bless you.

The last point, Xiao Qi, I will be with you in the next life!If I had accepted homosexuality at that time, I would still be a boy, and we would have known each other since birth and stayed together until we were old!If homosexuality is still unacceptable, I will be a girl (although I don't want to! But if you are a girl, this, I can hardly imagine what kind of girl you are!!) We still have to know each other since birth, then childhood sweethearts, and finally Live happily together!

Also, I love you, I originally wanted you to remember me forever, but if my leaving brings you sad memories, then you still don’t want to remember me forever, but you can’t forget me right away!Just forget me until you find the next one.

I love you, Xiao Qi, I love you, I can never say enough, I love you forever!

your daughter-in-law

Lin Yu's must