32 days

Leaving from Doctor Tian Lu, Yi Alan will not be able to tell how she feels for a while.

This is the first time he has seen a psychiatrist, and he doesn't know what effect psychotherapy will have and how long it will take to suddenly see the light.Rationally, he felt that what Dr. Tian Lu said was very reasonable, and he should enlighten himself and sort out his delusions as he said, but emotionally, it was really difficult to agree, and he even wanted to refute instinctively.He wondered if this was a common problem among people with mental illness.

When driving past the campus section, Yi Alan noticed that the school next to him was surprisingly quiet, which reminded him of the real silence of the 32nd.

But the reason why the school is quiet is that the college entrance examination is about to vacate the classrooms and prepare for the examination room.

If counting from the few days of the college entrance examination, it has actually been ten years since Yi Alan left her mother and the city.

After four years of university, Yi Alan continued to study for a master's degree, and worked in the school's location for another three years after graduation.He changed from an adolescent boy to a man who was only three years away from turning [-]. His former classmates and colleagues all found their partners one by one, got married, had children, had a second child, and some even divorced and remarried (of course, Yi Alan It is by no means a resignation in the hope of sending out one red envelope after another and not getting it back).

He can't just run away, he has to go home, face his aging mother, face the life he will eventually come, die alone, or kneel in front of his mother and beg for forgiveness.

The days passed day by day, and the memory gradually became blurred. It was only half a month ago, and Yi Alan was no longer so sure about whether the 32nd day existed.

By now, Yi Alan didn't want to know anymore, he lost the desire to seek, because it would only make him fall into a dead end.So what if it used to exist, it is enough to live a good life now.

Yue Ximing has always been a kind and gentle woman. Although she wished to sever ties with everyone on Yi Yunshan's side, Yi Yunshan's mother was Yi Alan's grandmother after all. Now, the old lady was suffering from the loss of her son again, and she was depressed , her body deteriorated day by day, and she couldn't bear to let Yue Ximing stay alone.

Yue Ximing took the old lady to live with him and supported her in her old age.

Yi Alan helped to bring all grandma's things over, and arranged them one by one in grandma's room, but she had a problem with Yi Xiaoshan's posthumous photo, and she didn't know where to put it.

Grandma sat on the bed and waved to him: "Take it here, and put it next to my bed. I know you young people are taboo about this. I'm dying, so what are you afraid of?"

She took the posthumous photo, and wiped the frame and glass carefully with her sleeve, her sunken eye sockets became moist.

Yi Alan was silent for a while, and asked: "Where is his posthumous photo?" He was talking about Yi Yunshan, his father.There was never a photo of Yi Yunshan in his family, and Yue Ximing never took him to pay homage to his father.

Grandma's lips trembled, she felt guilty looking at Yi Alan: "Behind Xiaoshan's photo."

Yi Alan looked back, but there was nothing there, and then he understood that the photos of Yi Yunshan and Yi Xiaoshan shared the same photo frame, with Yi Xiaoshan in front, and Yi Yunshan was covered.

The grandma explained: "Your mother won't be happy to see him, she will get angry every time she sees him, your mother is a good daughter-in-law, Yunshan is sorry for her, and she is willing to take care of me, how can I be angry with your mother? Just wronged Yunshan. Alas, he deserves it, and he deserves it too!"

Yi Alan looked at the black and white photo seriously, as if trying to see Yi Yunshan through Yi Xiaoshan's face, he really didn't remember what Yi Yunshan looked like.

"Do you want to see your dad?" Grandma asked tentatively in a low voice.

Yi Alan shook his head immediately.

Grandma burst into tears all of a sudden: "You hate your dad? You should hate it, how can you not hate it? I gritted my teeth with hatred, how did I raise such a son? He also knows that he is sorry for Mingming and you. Shameless to entrust me with a dream. Xiaoshan entrusted me with a dream, saying that he was cold and scared. Lan Lan, did the cemetery not be properly built and let him catch the cold?"

Listening to the sad ravings of this traditional old man, Yi Alan said comfortingly, "I'll pay my respects to my uncle in two days."

The next day, when it was raining lightly, Yi Alan still went to his uncle's cemetery. He just felt that the atmosphere at home was too depressing and wanted to find a quiet place to stay for a while.Looking at the whole city, there is probably no place that is cleaner than this place.

At the entrance of the cemetery, Yi Alan met a man wearing a peaked cap. At this time, the feeling of deja vu came up again.Yi Alan always felt that he had seen that man somewhere.He thought for a long time to no avail, and decided not to embarrass his sick brain anymore.

Yi Alan noticed that there were muddy footprints in front of his uncle's cemetery, and someone had come to worship his uncle.The image of the man in the peaked cap that he just met in the cemetery immediately appeared in Yi Alan's mind. Looking at the completeness and size of the footprints, he could deduce that this belonged to a man who had just left.

The sense of déjà vu seems to have an explanation.Or many years ago, he met that man among his uncle's friends.

Of course, the cemetery is not as dense as grandma's worries, it is as dense as the front, back, left, and right, sealing a person's life.Thousands of people died in thousands of cemeteries on this hill.They may have their own brilliance when they were alive, but now they are all similar tombstones, and the cold life and death years mark the vanished existence that no one cares about and no one knows about.

Standing in front of his uncle's tombstone, Yi Alan thought sadly that he would be the same, and the years he lived now would become meaningless history in the future.

His existence only made him suffer.

Yi Alan knelt down / couldn't help crying, crying for her uncle who met briefly but parted forever, and also cried for herself.

After paying homage to his uncle, Yi Alan drove around the city without bounds.Suddenly, he saw a tall figure on the side of the road.

His sick mind began to cry out Familiar Familiar again!

This time, Yi Alan didn't carelessly recognize his relatives, he immediately parked on the side of the road, regardless of the possibility of receiving a bunch of traffic police tickets when he came back, chasing the figure that was about to disappear into the crowd with a beating heart.

How could it be hidden!His tall and well-proportioned figure and his calm aura set him apart from many people in the world, and the little girls who passed by all blushed and secretly took pictures.

Yi Alan shouted excitedly: "Zhou Yan'an!"

Zhou Yanan stopped and turned her head.

Yi Alan was so happy that he almost suffocated, he couldn't wait to run to Zhou Yan'an, afraid that it was just a phantom conceived in his mind, which might disappear at any time.

When they got closer, Yi Alan felt embarrassed instead, and said something like a malicious and vulgar strike-up: "Did we meet somewhere?"

Zhou Yan'an looked at him calmly, then she bent down her bright eyebrows and smiled, "Hello, Yi Alan."

Yi Alan laughed loudly: "It's really you."

Zhou Yanan and Yi Alan found a coffee shop to sit down, and they could see part of the scenery of the city from the open-air balcony. The huge sun umbrella cast a shadow, which seemed to envelop them into another area.Even if outsiders heard their conversation, they would not understand it.

Yi Alan took a sip of iced coffee, the bitterness on the tip of her tongue was a kind of enjoyment, "You mean, you also searched about the 32nd on the Internet, but found nothing, not even my search notice ?”

"Yes." Zhou Yanan said.

Yi Alan said strangely: "This is very like the result of being blocked. It was posted, but no one can see it. No wonder no one is curious about those posts. But who can block all large domestic and foreign online platforms? "

"What about hackers like joker?"

"He can't do it either..." Yi Alan was swearing, but when he remembered something, he kept some leeway, "Normally speaking, he definitely can't do it. But if the 32nd day is true, he can use the 32nd day Unattended loopholes, if you find the keys of supercomputers around the world, you can secretly borrow the bandwidth and computing power of those supercomputers to complete the unprecedented shielding of the radiation range."

"If it's really man-made," Zhou Yan'an said mockingly, "it really played tricks on a lot of people. I even wondered if I imagined that day, trying to restore value in the face of disaster."

Yi Alan smiled embarrassingly: "Me too, I also went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said that it was because I was under too much psychological pressure, so I imagined a simple society with few people."

As for the other perfect masculine symbols and reproductive motifs mentioned by Tian Lu, Yi Alan just wanted to format them all.

Zhou Yan'an glanced at Yi Alan.

It's hard to say what kind of eyes this is: pity, love, self-pity, understanding, all are light and indifferent, like looking at the same kind.

At this moment, the two people reached a consensus that they both had mental illnesses. According to medical judgments, they were under unbearable pressure. Perhaps the causes of mental illnesses were different, but the pain they endured was different. The same, so that the 32nd is full of uncertainty.

Yi Alan looked at the injury on the back of Zhou Yanan's left wrist.

"So, we did experience such a... weird 32 days?" Yi Alan asked.

Zhou Yanan nodded: "Unless you are me, or I am your split second personality. Otherwise, it is impossible to explain that we, who have never met before, have a common experience."

"It's very simple to prove this point," Yi Alan smiled, and stopped a waiter girl who happened to be passing by, "Which one do you think is handsome, me or him?"

The waitress boldly teased: "Children only do multiple-choice questions, and I want them all." Then she blushed and ran away like a paper tiger.

Yi Alan spread her hands towards Zhou Yanan: "Unless this girl is also our third personality."

Zhou Yan'an laughed: "Then we can draw conclusions, we have indeed experienced 32 days."

The atmosphere became more relaxed.

Yi Alan nodded, and said, "I remembered a joke."

"Ok?"

"Three people were on a park bench, one was reading a newspaper, and the other two made some strange movements, pointing fingers, swinging arms, as if they were fishing with bait. The security guard said to the man reading the newspaper, your The two friends seemed mentally disturbed and easily frightened passers-by. Can you take them away. The newspaper reader said, ok, ok, I'm very sorry. Then he made a movement of rowing vigorously."

Zhou Yanan understood the self-deprecating meaning in his jokes, maybe they were like these psychopaths, immersing themselves in their own world for self-entertainment, and seemingly normal people were out of tune with the normal world.

Yi Alan laughed, and Zhou Yan'an couldn't help laughing.

Yi Alan likes this feeling so much, even if he is a lunatic, someone will accompany him to be insane, right?

Tired of laughing, Yi Alan said seriously: "We really have a third person..."

"You mean Liang Fei?"

"Ah?" Yi Alan reacted for a moment before realizing that Liang Fei was that woman. When he gave Liang Fei a blood transfusion, he saw the identification belt on her wrist and vaguely remembered the name, "It was her. She gave birth in the People's Hospital at that time. , if it is true, we should be able to find relevant information. In fact, she is the easiest person for us to find."

Seeing that his analysis was sound, Zhou Yanan said, "But you didn't go to verify it, did you?"

Yi Alan was taken aback, and replied awkwardly but honestly: "I thought about it, but I dare not go."

I found Liang Fei, which proved that the 32nd day was not a fantasy. The end of the world really came, but it disappeared again for no reason. This will only increase the fear of the unknown.

If Liang Fei can't be found, it means that she is completely sick, schizophrenic, and wishful thinking.

Either way, it is not acceptable to a normal person.

Zhou Yanan said, "I went to look for it."

Yi Alan quickly asked: "And then?"

"I didn't find her."