My baby tamer can't be the leader

Seeing the courteous smile that had always hung on Dazai's lips was gradually smoothed out by him, I thought with some uncertainty, after all, it's Tongyan Wuji... Uh... Should it?Dazai will still be a little bit measured, right?perhaps?

However, something beyond my expectation was that although he obviously looked at the kid with unfriendly eyes for a while, Dazai was a little eager to ask me if I would like to try his cooking in the middle of eating snacks. Except for the hard tofu, he didn't make any trouble during the whole process...

It made me so unbelievable that after the driver dropped us off at the gate, I kept turning my head to look at him on the way back.

After noticing my gaze, Dazai asked me with an innocent face, "What's wrong? Qi? Is your head still hurting?"

"That's not true, but you really came here just to find Maori detectives to investigate someone?" I hugged the cat and looked at him suspiciously, "Is he really powerful?"

Dazai, who had already put on his coat again, tilted his head and thought for a while, "To be precise, I didn't intend to look for him."

But when I wanted to continue asking, he just answered me softly, "The key to the mystery is already in front of you, Xiaoqi..."

……

For the existence of "Osamu Dazai", the word "honesty" may always be an unattainable curse.

After he finished that sentence, he turned his head back and stopped looking at the other party.

Not being understood by the people he wants to protect, this kind of future is not a fate that he needs to work hard to accept - this is the doomed reality, whether he accepts it or not, it is as inevitable as the sun rises and the moon sets.

The things in his grasp will naturally dance with his will, but he will never use this method to influence the person he cares about... That is an insult, an insult to him and the other party.

Some things are absolutely unacceptable, and some boundaries are absolutely unbreakable. Once he gives up on those...he may fall even deeper than Dostoevsky.

It is precisely because of this that all he can do is stand on the judgment seat of fate and kill him.

As long as there's no expectation, the pain when the final moment comes unstoppable won't be... less unbearable.

He lowered his eyes and pressed his left chest with one hand.

It was just...an illusion.

He obviously suffered more serious injuries than that... Ah, but, maybe it also came from another experience of him?But sometimes, in a trance, he would still be confused by the memory of that scene...

As the leader, Osamu Dazai is nothing more than an empty shell, like a program that has been roughly stuffed with excessive external data, it is enough that it can still operate and achieve his goals, everything else...is not in his within expectations.

Just as Mr. Sen never expected that the "most people" protected by him would thank him, in this regard, he himself may not be as thorough as the other party.

They are clearly master and apprentice... Ah, should they be considered?What a pity, only this part of the content is the 'truth' he has...

Dazai thought a little casually.

Even so, Mori Ogai was the only one who never taught him this.

It's bad.

Like the yellowing dead leaves blown by the evening wind, things that have completed their mission should leave the scene, just like the change of seasons.

Sooner or later he will accept it.

Now it was just one more time, repaying his due fate.

……

To be honest, I'm dumbfounded.

Especially when I saw Dazai's whole aura, which was visible to the naked eye, go wrong, I was even more confused... Nima, you played a riddle with me, and your own mentality collapsed? ?What is this, I didn't tell him to rebound? ?

But to be honest, I am quite familiar with his state... When I was a child, I could often feel this kind of indescribable heavy emotion from him, but I couldn't understand it at all at that time.

When I grew up enough to understand this feeling, it seemed to have disappeared from Dazai, and even the habitual yearning for death disappeared together.

Is the distance between human hearts so far away?

At that time, I didn't understand this, and I was afraid of that kind of loneliness. This fear came from the unknown, from the estrangement that I couldn't empathize with.

Maybe I haven't fully understood until now, but I think, I'm willing to try.

In this foreign land, in this land cut off from all the past...

I think I can finally begin to truly understand his loneliness.

The present is different from the past.

The present is supposed to be different from the past.

I took a few steps forward quickly, stretched out my free hand under Dazai's slightly stunned gaze, grabbed his wrist through a thin layer of bandage, and pulled his hand out of the pocket come out.

"Since it's a decryption game, how can the person who made the question run away alone?" I looked at those eyes rippling like autumn water, and what came to my mind was that I was alone and closed the living room more than a year ago. Looking at all the lights in the house, looking at the bright lights outside, I silently shed tears...

Are you the same as me at that time?

I can't even cry in a place where there is light. Is the sadness that starts from loneliness and ends up lonely when I want to escape to the end of the world, is it similar to you?

Or the essence of grief is the same, but some people can step out alone, and some people can't.

same-sex repulsion?Same-sex attraction?I don't care about that kind of talk, but if I had a chance to see myself in the past, I would definitely hold my hand...just like I do now.

"I've said it all... believe me a little more."

"Xiaoqi... don't get so close to me." Dazai seemed to be out of breath, "You will be stabbed by me..."

Good guy, it's a cat but insists on pretending to be a hedgehog, don't say that this guy has 'I'm talking irony' written all over his face, even if he is really a fried porcupine, I have to shave him bald Take it away by force!

I didn't bother to chat with him, so I simply grabbed his wrist and put his hand back into my pocket, saying succinctly, "My hands are cold."

Dazai immediately became speechless as if being strangled by the neck, as if his whole body was in a kind of numbness after pupil earthquake.

Having said that, generally speaking, it seems particularly clever to ask questions while other people's minds are wandering?

I thought about what I should take the opportunity to ask. In fact, I really wanted to ask him about that organization, but even if he was empty, I guess he would be able to respond with one or two words at most. If I had to rely on one or two words I'm so fucking confident to promote an organization, it's impossible to do it!

"Are you looking for Conan today?" I asked abruptly.

"...This trick is useless to me, Xiaoqi." Dazai seemed to have finally regained his composure, and told me in a slow voice, "But it is indeed a very suitable question."

"Well, then, I guess the answer is 'yes'." I leaned closer to him and analyzed with reason, "Although you didn't say it, you just paused because the word 'this' and 'yes' The mouth shape of the word pronunciation is the same? You react so fast."

The other party's original blankness was swept away at this moment, leaving only a smiling expression that made people itch, neither admitting nor denying, looking at me innocently, as if they didn't understand what I was saying at all. What is general, "Is there anything else I want to ask, maybe there is something else I can answer you? Of course, it can't involve what I told you today."

Damn, did this guy go to learn anti-reconnaissance? ?I thought he would at least risk a word!

"How did you plan to solve the bomb case last time?" I thought hard for a moment, "This can always be answered, right?"

"Ah, that." He thought for a while, "Originally, I planned to sell Officer Matsuda's friend as a favor and let the other party solve it, but in the end, the goal was achieved."

Just when I was a little speechless thinking about who the hell is the friend of Police Officer Matsuda, Dazai added nonchalantly, "Although I prefer the other option, after all, as long as Officer Matsuda survives, that guy will die." I have to accept it."

Although my intuition tells me that it's best not to ask... But how can I resist it!

"... what choice?"

"Hmm...it's very simple. The strategy pursued by the organization that that person purchased special materials is to hide in the dark side of society and carry out their plans quietly." Dazai thought about it, "Because of this, the people there They are all so sensitive that they will jump out like a poisonous snake whose tail has been stepped on at the slightest sign of trouble."

He kindly gave me a little time to think, "So just make it seem like the other party is curious about that channel, and has collected some information through the opportunity of the transaction, and by the way, tell them about the police's understanding of this case." The degree of importance, tell them that once that person is caught, their channel may be revealed...then just wait."

I was silent for a moment after listening, "Is this considered instigation?"

"Huh? I haven't communicated with any of them, so of course that doesn't count." Dazai answered me as a matter of course, "I only use the expression 'mention' for the convenience of verbal expression. In fact, even if it is When they passed by the projection screen in the shopping mall, the police’s attention to this case happened to be shown on the screen, so this is also a kind of “mention”? Of course, the so-called “illusion” is also the same.”

"..." I don't really want to think deeply about this topic. On the one hand, it's just a hypothesis. Although it's quite... what he said, I always feel that if I continue to think about it, I might not be able to help but become a Chaoyang crowd... …But it's just a hypothesis after all, and I don't have a particularly real sense of it, and it's more surprising that he would tell me this frankly.

So I asked him heavily, "Wait, why are you so honest all of a sudden?"

Dazai turned his eyes sideways, and his eyes fell on my wrist that I hadn't let go for a moment.

"Because, at least for now, you haven't let me go." He answered me softly.