Shiva

[Dosa].

Once a person feels uncomfortable, it will inevitably affect the whole body, from the soreness of the stomach all the way to the legs. As soon as I get on the bed, I feel top-heavy and refuse to move no matter what I say.

Shen Xu's backpack doesn't look big, but it has everything you need. Through the gaps in my eyes, I watched him take it out one after another, with endless postures. I even found that he also brought a pack of Jianwei Xiaoshi tablets, hawthorn flavored. I used to love it.

"You even brought this with you." I spoke angrily. Shen Xu didn't realize what I was talking about at first. After looking around, his eyes stopped on the digestion tablet, and he said that this was not taken when he was sick. Throw it away.

"Shen Xu, do you have mind reading skills..." I buried myself in the pillow, and my voice became muffled, "How do you know that's what I'm talking about?"

The sound of rummaging stopped, Shen Xu didn’t answer, and then there were a few clear collisions—the water flowed into the container, closed the lid and connected the plug, and after a few minutes, it boiled. The sound of footsteps approached, but was weakened by the carpet. As if trapped in a viscous liquid, unable to move by herself, she let Shen Xu fiddle with it.

"It's hot." I was leaning against the pillow halfway, and the tip of my nose was scalded by the steam. I subconsciously thought that the water was also at a temperature that couldn't enter my mouth. Shen Xu took a sip in front of me, "It's not hot."

"Could it be cooler for a while?" I shrunk down and continued to curl up.

Shen Xu looked at the water in the glass, took another empty glass, and poured water back and forth alternately until the steam was no longer hot, then gave it to me to drink with medicine.

"Thank you." Warm water flowed into my stomach, and it made me feel a little better. It took a while for the pills to take effect, and I slid into the quilt again, leaving two hands to pat on it, "My phone——"

"Here." Shen Xu got up slightly, put a square object in my palm, I turned to unlock it, operated the phone with difficulty, and initiated a video call request on a page full of green dialog boxes.

Although that person ignored me, I missed him so much.

The connecting ringtone was cheerful, and I brought the phone closer, staring at the ellipsis that appeared repeatedly, until it dimmed and reflected my own messed up face.

I went back to the previous page, dialed again, and again, I didn’t want to cry in front of others, because it would make me feel humble and weak in this relationship, but the tears still flowed out uncontrollably, on the pillow next to my face I bit my lip tightly and wanted to dial again, telling him that I was not feeling well, that I was distressed, that I was anxious, that I could say something nice to comfort me, but the call hadn’t been dialed yet. The phone screen was pressed down, replaced by Shen Xu's authoritarian face.

I was a little anxious, and used all my strength to break his fingers. What if I pick it up this time, what if?

"You give me back... Shen Xu!" I begged him with tears, but Shen Xu still looked at me indifferently.

"Call your boyfriend?"

"Ah."

"Stop calling." Shen Xu confiscated my phone.

"No." I hugged his arm tightly with both hands, "I won't call, I won't call, you give me back the phone..."

As if a bloody gash had been torn out, I almost begged him in an extremely low tone. Maybe my posture was too unbearable, which caused Shen Xubie to start too fast, and I couldn't see the look on his face clearly. Instant heartbreak.

So no one mentioned the mobile phone.

"If you have anything to say, you can talk to me." After a long stalemate, Shen Xu gently returned the phone to me, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snatched your phone, because I saw you crying just now... I was very worried. "

I took back my phone and hugged it against my chest, the quilt was pulled up high, and I could smell the disinfectant on the quilt cover when I lowered my head a little.

"He used to be very good to me." I don't know what I'm talking about until now, so let's talk about it anyway.I stretched out my left hand from the quilt to show Shen Xu, "He made this for me."

"Do you like it very much?" Shen Xu glanced at the bracelet.

"like very much."

"You like it now?"

"Yes, I still like it."

"Is it a little big?"

Shen Xu suddenly looked at the string of beads with scrutiny. I have lost a little weight in the past few months, and the beads rested on the protruding wrist bone, which seemed uncoordinated. Hold it in the palm of your hand, "No matter how big it is, I get used to it. I have worn it for many years. It was made for me by my boyfriend when he was in school. He knocked out a sample of ore from every place he surveyed, and made it into a necklace by himself, but The size of the mold I bought was wrong, and it hung on my neck like a Drifting Monk, so I had to take it off and change it, pick a few of the most beautiful colors and string them into bracelets...Look at the white one in the middle, it is A stone on the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain."

"What about this one?" Shen Xu tapped one of the brown beads.

"Gansu Gobi." I said firmly.

Shen Xu smiled, "I remember so clearly."

I pressed the bead down hard until it was embedded in the flesh.

"Is it still uncomfortable?" Shen Xu asked me.

I shook my head. Once my attention was distracted, the cramping in my stomach eased a lot.

"What about this one?" Shen Xu lit a red bead, which was a little smaller than the other beads, and looked newer because it was added later.

"Carnelian is a gem, and it is called 'flesh and blood' in Latin." I looked at it and felt a suffocating pain. This gem was given to me after he proposed to me. The material is not high-end, but please. A master craftsman with superb craftsmanship grinds it into a perfect circle, and the value increases, and it is strung between two malachites.

The red cardboard was covered with a radish stamp, and this life was considered private. He kissed me in the studio of my school and said that we must be the first to get married among our high school classmates.

"Of course!" I sat on his lap instead, put my arms around his neck and continued to kiss him, it was still bright, the door was not locked, but my lips and teeth could be entwined unscrupulously.In fact, since that first kiss, we challenged the limit of our lips every time we kissed, and we couldn't bear to stop even when we kissed numb and painful.

He learned how to kiss faster than me, how to tease, how to kiss from the lower lip to the neck at the right time, the tip of his tongue has a sweetness that makes people taste the marrow, as if he is playing a trick on me, and advises me not to have sex Excess satisfaction, otherwise you have to take it from him when you want it.

After the tossing and turning kiss, he squinted his eyes slightly with a contented expression, and looked as if he would obey me, so I would take the opportunity to make some requests, such as letting him be my portrait model.

"Are you sure? You have to sit still for a long time." I suddenly felt uneasy, "I draw very slowly, but I have to hand in my homework the day after tomorrow."

"The day after tomorrow, will you start writing today?" His tone was helpless, but his expression was very willing. He sat on the chair in the most comfortable posture, with his long legs spread apart, and one arm resting on the back of the chair. It was he who taught me to do the exercises before. The habitual way of sitting means that his patience is sufficient.

"It's too late, I've counted the time." I had mastered the control of the deadline, and looked at my boyfriend who had entered the state of a wooden man, and I sighed: "Why are you so kind to me?"

"I'm good to you, can you love me more?"

He said this out of nowhere, his voice trembling a little, I was puzzled: "I have always loved you very much, I don't know how I can love you even more."

"Ask," he said, rubbing his nose in embarrassment, then realizing he couldn't move, and snapping back to his original position, I started drafting as fast as I could, but the more I thought about it, the more confused I was, "... ..Are you afraid that I don't love you enough?"

"No."

That is yes, I looked at his expression, obviously he felt that his problem was very petty, so he denied me so quickly.Love or not, who loves whom, and who loves whom more, seems to be more common among sentimental girls.

But he obviously has the best appearance and the ingenuity to comprehend by analogy, there will never be few people chasing him since childhood. In contrast, I, who is not so outstanding in all aspects, is the one who should be worried, so when I Knowing that he has been struggling with this problem, his mood is very complicated.

If it is really what I think, the nature of his kindness to me will change during the relationship. It is not from the heart, but tends to be demanding, which is close to flattery.

"By the way, do you know that our high school classmates misunderstood you before?" I checked the proportions absently. This step is not important. I can draw his appearance with my eyes closed.

He suddenly laughed and said he knew.

"Huh? I thought you didn't know." I said, "I've been thinking about how to ask you for a long time."

"I did it on purpose." He lowered his eyes casually.

"on purpose?"

"Well." He sat like a sculpture in the afterglow of the evening, "They called me 'Great God', said they liked me, said I was a very good person, I just gave it a try when I didn't behave so well with them Will they still like me when I don’t like it?"

I was dumbfounded, for him, the motivation for doing so was a little too naive.

Clumsy probing, he could have proved it in a milder way, and it might have turned out differently, I thought.But I didn't say it, because I suddenly discovered that the boyfriend who is so outstanding in the eyes of others and me is a very inferior person in his bones.

He sat quietly, and as a model he couldn't read books or do questions. I felt sorry and helped him put on the earphones, but he took them off after listening for a while.

I drew longer than usual, and I was not satisfied with the finished color draft, which revealed heavy thoughts everywhere, but the teacher liked it very much. Maybe it was my boyfriend’s face reflecting the dim afterglow that added a lot of points to the picture. I wishful thinking think so.

The selected works will be exhibited in a group. I was reluctant and sneaked into the teacher's office on a dark and stormy night for a month - and stole my homework back.