Straight male cannon fodder is attracted by the protagonist

Before meeting Meng Chan, Yu Zhiyi lived in an impenetrable darkness, suffocated and depressed every day and night.

He didn't understand why his life could be so hopeless. When he was young, he was beaten by his father, insulted by him, and when he was awake, he suffered endless pain.Once wanting to eat a piece of candy, after his father found out, he threw him out of the door and made him kneel in the snow.

If Yu Zhimei hadn't cried and begged him for mercy, Yu Zhiyi might have been frozen to death. Since then, Yu Zhiyi has been extremely afraid of the cold.

At that time, he didn't understand, thinking that he couldn't have the right to like things, just like that candy, he couldn't have it.

So from then on, he never eats candy again, but in fact he loves to eat candy.

It was Meng Chan who gave him the first candy, which was very sweet.

It was sweeter than he had ever tasted before.

Meng Chan was different from others, ever since he pulled Yu Zhiyi down from the rooftop that night, he was special, like a hero who fell from the sky.

He is the only one who treats Yu Zhiyi well.

Yu Zhiyi began to pay attention to him silently. He went to his teaching building many times and secretly looked at him outside the classroom, but he never noticed him.

After that, Meng Chan saved him several times, and a flower bloomed deeply in Yu Zhiyi's desolate and desperate heart.

He is a very nice person to me.

Yu Zhiyi thought silently.

The last time the two met was in midsummer.

Meng Chan saw Yu Zhiyi who was hiding in the garden behind the abandoned building. He may have fallen and had a large piece of skin on his palm, and he was crying in a corner.

"Little one." Meng Chan didn't know his name, so he called him that, and sat beside him, "What's wrong with you?"

Yu Zhiyi's throat was extremely dry because he hadn't spoken for a long time. He was afraid that Meng Chan would find his voice unpleasant, so he kept silent.

Meng Chan had long been used to his silence, and it seemed that this little guy had never spoken in front of him.

"Wrestled?" Meng Chan said indifferently.

Yu Zhiyi nodded slightly.

"Why are you always getting hurt?" Meng Chan asked, "Someone bullied you?"

Yu Zhiyi still didn't speak, huddled beside him, thin and short, with gauze covering his face, his hair covering his face, he looked like a shivering stray dog.

Meng Chan put on the Band-Aid for him on his own, and became a little interested in the sluggish little one in front of him. He said in a playful tone, "You look younger than me, so call me brother."

"Shout brother, no matter where you are, brother will save you."

The emotion on his face was very light, but there was a little smile in his eyes, and his indifferent and handsome face softened a bit.

Yu Zhiyi seldom saw him smile, so he couldn't help but look silly.

At this moment, the bell rang, and Meng Chan got up and was about to leave.He just came here to rest, the weather is too hot, he can't stay on the roof.Only here it will be cooler and there will be no people.

Because the college entrance examination was approaching, he was very busy and didn't have time to stay, so he stroked his hair and left.

After Meng Chan left, Yu Zhiyi came back to his senses. He stood up and wanted to chase Meng Chan, but Meng Chan had already gone a long way.

In the summer when the cicadas were chirping and noisy, the embarrassed little boy staggered forward, his knee fell heavily on the concrete floor, and soon he saw blood.

The young man's hoarse voice poured out intermittently, tears filled his eye sockets, fell drop by drop along the eye sockets, and rolled down on the hot ground, bubbling with steaming sadness.

"Brother..., brother,...help me, brother, help me."

"Brother, save me."

In the midsummer of sycamore trees all over the street, a grand and scorching sadness accumulated in the heart of a young boy.

No one knows, no one worries.

That was the last time he and Meng Chan met, and Meng Chan graduated shortly thereafter.

They met three times in total, but it was enough for Yu Zhiyi to remember this person deeply, and he could never forget him again.

After that, Lu Li and his friends also graduated, and no one bullied Yu Zhiyi anymore.

But he always misses Meng Chan who appeared every time he was injured.

Meng Chan is his savior.

Because he missed him so much, his obsession became a deformed paranoid, and he went astray, asking someone to take pictures and telling him everything related to him.

Yu Zhiyi once went to his school, followed him to the noodle shop, and ordered the same noodles as him, and he was so hot that tears flowed down his face.

But he finished it anyway.

Until Meng Chan left the store, he didn't notice Yu Zhiyi's existence.

That noodle shop became Yu Zhiyi's favorite place.

Since then, as long as he has time, he will take the subway for more than an hour to his school.

Just to meet him.

After that, he saw that Meng Chan had a girlfriend.

On the day when he found out that he had a girlfriend, Yu Zhiyi went to the noodle shop, and he was so hot that tears flowed down his face. He didn't know whether it was because of sad tears or being hot. The proprietress asked him what was wrong.

Yu Zhiyi couldn't answer. He clutched his aching stomach and finished the bowl of noodles with tears in his eyes.

After that, he would still go to his school, and Yu Zhiyi found that Meng Chan and his girlfriend would always come out at night.

At that time, Yu Zhiyi always followed them blankly.

He is like a disgusting dog, shamelessly following others.

He knew a lot of things. For example, Meng Chan and his girlfriend didn't have a good relationship. The two originally wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, but they didn't succeed.Another example is that Meng Chan said that he likes to watch fireworks, and his girlfriend said that he would watch them with him in the New Year, but after that, they broke up.

Yu Zhiyi felt happy for the first time, but when he realized that he was happy because of Meng Chan's breakup, his first reaction was to run to the toilet and vomit.

He suddenly realized what he had been doing these days.Stalking, taking pictures, spying on Meng Chan and his girlfriend, secretly delighting in Meng Chan's breakup, everything is proof of his despicable perversion.

For the first time, he felt nauseous, and a strong sense of self-loathing invaded him, and Yu Zhiyi couldn't help throwing up desperately.

It's disgusting, it's disgusting, it's disgusting.

How could I be so disgusting.

As if self-torturing, he frantically scratched his throat, and waited until nothing came out of his stomach, only acid water, and then he sat on the ground exhausted, his eyes were empty.

Just when the company closed down, Yu Zhiyi gave up on having people take pictures. He hid all the pictures, only kept a few, and sealed the rest, as if sealing off his own filth.

He rarely went to see Meng Chan again.

After that, he thought, he was going to meet Meng Chan, and to meet him with a perfect and well-behaved image.

Because he found out that he likes him.

But this liking was too unbearable, Yu Zhiyi spurned it while letting it grow.

He silently carried out his secret love that no one knew about.

But the self-loathing in his heart told him that Meng Chan would not like him.

Meng Chan is normal, surrounded by people, and the complete opposite of him.They are two different kinds of people, and Meng Chan will not look at him in the dry well with loving eyes.

He will die early, while Meng Chan will live a long life.

And he knew that Meng Chan was a straight man, he would not like men, and he was also a pervert who had followed him.

Yu Zhiyi is very aware of all this, but he really likes Meng Chan too much. Meng Chan is his vitality and all his desires to live.

He didn't want to give up Meng Chan.

But he won't love me.

For two years, Yu Zhiyi had been secretly in love with a hopeless person.

He tried his best to be better, although he knew that Meng Chan would definitely not remember him by then.But even so, he still wanted to stand in front of him with the perfect and beautiful Yu Zhiyi one day and pass him by.

But liking can ferment, and Yu Zhiyi's liking for Meng Chan grew stronger and stronger, until it even reached the point of sickness in the end.

It may be because of love but not being able to become obsessed. When Yu Zhiyi was a freshman, he hid in a corner and looked at the person who was thinking about it day and night, and his suppressed love finally broke out.

He actually imagined that Meng Chan was in love with him, and after sleeping with Meng Chan for one night, he believed it to be true.

Later, because of a stomach problem, I was delayed for a week and did not go to him.But after returning to school, he believed in Meng Chan after he fell in love with him.

Since then, every step is wrong.

Because he has never been in a relationship before, and he doesn't know what a lover should do, all his experience is from Meng Chan and his ex-girlfriend.

He naively thought that falling in love meant going to ride the Ferris wheel with Meng Chan, watching fireworks with him, and eating what he liked.

In his fantasy, he and Meng Chan have both done these things.

It's all fantasy.

It's all his self-righteousness.

Yu Zhiyi thought desperately.

All his life was killed in this night.

When Meng Chan woke up, his eyes were completely white, and the disinfectant smelled very strong.

"Brother, are you awake?" Meng Lian said in surprise when she saw him wake up.

"Meng Lian?"

"It's me bro, how do you feel?"

Meng Chan pondered for a while at first, he remembered that the car crashed into a tree, and then he helped Yu Zhiyi block the broken glass without thinking, and he didn't know what happened after that.

He looked around, he should have been sent to the hospital.

"Where is Yu Zhiyi." Meng Chan's voice was very hoarse. Meng Lian quickly gave him water and said, "He's fine, but suffered a slight injury, and he's going home now. Brother, you scared me to death, you know?"

Meng Chan's heart dropped when he heard that Yu Zhiyi was fine.

"I'm fine." Meng Chan raised his hand and patted Meng Lian's head slightly.

Meng Lian hugged his waist and was about to cry, "Brother, you can't have another time, my parents and I are going to be terrified."

Meng Chan snorted, "Get up."

"Oh, I'm sorry bro, I forgot." Meng Lian felt as if she let go of her hand.

"But brother, why did you have a car accident? Brother Beauty didn't tell me, but just said sorry to me, what do you mean?"

Meng Chan said without emotion, "I accidentally bumped into it."

He didn't tell the real situation, mainly because he didn't want his family to hate Yu Zhiyi, and he didn't know why.

"Okay." Meng Lian curled her lips, "Fortunately, there is nothing serious about you."

The brothers and sisters chatted for a while, and Meng's mother came back from buying some fruit, chatted with him for a while, and felt relieved when she saw that Meng Chan's face was fine when he woke up.

In the end, Meng Chan was a little tired, and Meng's mother still wanted to accompany him. Meng Chan was afraid that she would not be able to bear it, so she asked her to go back to rest first.

In the end, Mother Meng couldn't hold back Meng Chan, so she went back to rest.

"You don't have class?" Meng Chan glanced at Meng Lian.

"I asked for leave today." Meng Lian helped him peel apples.

Meng Chan stopped talking, and since just now, his eyes have been looking out.

"What are you looking at bro?"

"Where's Yu Zhiyi?" Meng Chan said calmly, "He didn't come to see me?"

Meng Lian snorted, "That's right, I don't think I've seen him come before? Isn't he your boyfriend? Why didn't you come?"

"What boyfriend?" Meng Chan frowned.

Meng Lian said "I understand, I understand", "Brother, don't hide it from me. I saw him sitting on your lap last time. With your personality, how could you allow others to approach you. Let alone, You treat him so well, this is not like an ordinary friend."

It seems like a lot of people think they are a couple.

Meng Chan thought.

He should have vetoed it right away, but rarely, he didn't.

As for the reason, I still don't know.

Meng Chan didn't see Yu Zhiyi after that, which was not like Yu Zhiyi's style.

As usual, Yu Zhiyi should stick by his side all day long, crying and asking him if he was injured, instead of being motionless like now, not even receiving messages from his mobile phone.

Did something happen to him?

Meng Chan thought with a sullen face.

Until one day he seemed to see Yu Zhiyi's figure while he was half asleep and half awake, but he had just had an injection and was very sleepy and unable to wake up.

He could only vaguely see Yu Zhiyi lying on his bed beside him, staring blankly at him, saying something intermittently.

Meng Chan couldn't hear clearly, and could only hear words like "I'm sorry..." and "I'm not a lover".

He could feel Yu Zhiyi's hot tears dripping on his palm, and Meng Chan wanted to wake up and wipe his tears, but he didn't have the energy.

Yu Zhiyi seemed to have been sitting beside his bed for a long, long time, so long that it took as long as one night.

Later, Meng Chan heard the nurse say that since he was hospitalized, there had been a boy standing at the door of the ward, who seemed to want to go in but always dared to go in, usually standing outside the door for a long time.

Only then did Meng Chan know that Yu Zhiyi had been visiting him, but he didn't know why he didn't dare to come in.

Are you afraid that I will blame him, so you dare not see me?

timid puppy.

One night, as soon as Meng Chan closed his eyes, someone came in. He didn't open his eyes because he knew it was Yu Zhiyi.

Yu Zhiyi walked to his side quietly, and sat down beside him again.

He came to see Meng Chan almost every day, but he didn't dare to go in.He didn't know how to face Meng Chan, Meng Chan was almost killed by him, and he had no face to go in.

The most important point is that he dare not face Meng Chan who is not his boyfriend.

Ever since he knew that all of this was false, Yu Zhiyi had returned to his timid self. Perhaps in the hallucination he could flirt with Meng Chan openly, because Meng Chan was his boyfriend.

But in fact, Meng Chan doesn't love him.

He has no identity.

The intense shame turned Yu Zhiyi into a coward.

He was afraid of seeing Meng Chan, but he missed him so much that he had to visit him secretly.

"Brother." Seeing that he was asleep, Yu Zhiyi called him softly.

He wanted to say a lot, but the words were suppressed by his shame and blocked his throat.

What should he tell Meng Chan?

Said that you are not my boyfriend, all this is my imagination, we have never dated.

But can't say it.Even now, he still doesn't want to admit that this is all an illusion.

"Why don't you speak?" Meng Chan's voice suddenly sounded.

Yu Zhiyi was taken aback, "Brother...you didn't sleep?"

Meng Chan sat up, turned on the light, and said softly, "Waiting for you."

Yu Zhiyi pursed his lips, his face strangely shy, and he smiled slightly, with a bit of stiffness.

"Why... wait for me?"

Meng Chan put his eyes directly on him, and said lazily, "Aren't you my boyfriend? Why don't you come to see me?"

If Yu Zhiyi heard this kind of words before, he would probably jump up happily, after all, Meng Chan finally admitted their relationship.

But now Yu Zhiyi can't be happy, instead, there are countless shame and stiffness all over his body. The word boyfriend seems to be a kind of criminal trial for Yu Zhiyi, reminding Yu Zhiyi of his sins all the time.

He raised the corner of his mouth, "I...too busy."

He still doesn't want to tell Meng Chan the truth, so wait a little longer and let me dream for a while.

"Your hand isn't healed yet?" Meng Chan saw the bandage on his wrist and spoke in a calm voice.

"Ah..." Yu Zhiyi realized later, "It's almost over, how about you, brother, do you feel uncomfortable?"

"Are you asking now?" Meng Chan sneered.

Yu Zhiyi pursed his lips.

Meng Chan couldn't see his pitiful appearance, and pinched Yu Zhiyi's face with his good hands. Yu Zhiyi froze for a moment, his eyes slightly opened, dazed and ignorant.

"Why are you thinner again?" Meng Chan's face was sombre, obviously there was still a little flesh before, but in just a few days, he was almost thinner, his cheeks were thinner, and his face seemed to be much paler.

"Did you not eat well again?" Meng Chan frowned and said to him.

Hearing Meng Chan's words of concern for him, Yu Zhiyi's grievances over the past few days could not be broken anymore, tears welled up in his eyes, and fell on Meng Chan's hands patter.

Meng Chan hated his tears the most, wiped them away with his rough fingertips, and clicked his tongue, "Why do you love to cry so much?"

Yu Zhiyi didn't know he was crying, he really wanted to say that you shouldn't be so nice to me, I'm just a mental patient with a sick mind, I've been stalking you and even sexually harassing you, there's no need to treat you kindly.

I am miserable.

You don't love me.

But why are you so nice to me.

Yu Zhiyi sat obediently, tears streaming down his face, and felt more and more useless.only cry.

Maybe it's because he hasn't seen Yu Zhiyi for too long, or because the car accident made him cherish Yu Zhiyi more, or maybe his crying face is too painful.

Meng Chan really wanted to hug his puppy.

But he was injured, so he couldn't move too much, so he half leaned on the bed, hooked his fingers at him, "I've lost you, come here and let me hug you."

Yu Zhiyi looked at him with wet eyes, in a daze.

"come over."

As if flattered, Yu Zhiyi stepped forward cautiously, trying to avoid the wound on Meng Chan's body, and hugged him gently.

Meng Chan put one arm around Yu Zhiyi's waist, with a calm expression, "Don't cry, huh?"

Yu Zhiyi resisted the desire to cry, and gave a muffled hum, only he knew how much guilt he felt in his heart.

If Meng Chan knew that he was a psychopath who had a series of hallucinations because of his perverted assumptions about him, would he still be so kind to me?

"To be honest, I'm a little angry that you haven't come to see me these days." Meng Chan's tone was very flat, "But I don't care about you, and I'm too lazy to care about your lie just now."

"Just a little," he said casually.

Yu Zhiyi's waist was so narrow and thin that he could hug it with one hand. Through the clothes, he could feel a thin layer of muscle. For the first time, Meng Chan knew that a man's waist was also very comfortable to hold. He hugged Yu Zhiyi The strength of the waist couldn't help but make it a little bigger.

"Take good care of yourself." Meng Chan's voice was a little lazy, but also wrapped in a very faint sense of coldness, "Don't let me see you look malnourished."

On the one hand, Yu Zhiyi had to take care of his bandaged hands, and on the other hand, he had to pay attention not to touch Meng Chan's injury. His posture was a bit uncomfortable, but he remained motionless, enjoying Meng Chan's hug.

As if it was the last hug.

Because he knows that this seemingly beautiful surface is an illusion, and when all the truth is torn apart, it will cease to exist.

But at least now, Yu Zhiyi can deceive himself and others to enjoy this short-lived warmth.

He leaned on Meng Chan's shoulder, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, and the tails of his eyes were drooping as if he was extremely tired.

"Okay, I will listen to my brother."

No matter before or in the future, even if you don't love me, I will listen to you.

Before leaving, Meng Chan called to stop Yu Zhiyi.

"Come here tomorrow."

His tone was undeniably strong.

The author has something to say: it's he, he won't abuse you, trust our Brother Meng.