Rebirth of Shaohua

The bright stars in the sky fell into his eyes and were very bright, "Although you didn't say it directly, I still know that it is also the school you want to take."

Su Shao's throat was dry and tight, and the "why" that was in his throat was forced to be suppressed by him again.

At this time, I really shouldn't ask.

He forced himself to smile: "Hey, you really know me so well, really, where can I find such a good roommate?"

This is ready to divert the conversation, just like last time.

And Su Shao kept repeating a sentence quietly in his heart: Just like last time, Chu Hua, avoid that topic.

However, if he didn't ask, it didn't mean that Chu Hua wouldn't speak for himself.

"Because I want to be with you."

This time Chu Hua did not choose to follow Su Shao's words.He chose to say what he wanted to say most directly.

But Su Shao only felt that his whole body and heart tightened up, and his breathing would stop for a moment.

It still came out.

After the sense of crisis that finally came, the most worrying thing still happened, Su Shao suddenly relaxed, too relaxed, his whole body was a little limp, and he staggered a bit.

Chu Hua tried to reach out to help, but Su Shao hid him.

He wasn't discouraged either, he just stood there quietly, his eyes so firm that Su Shao didn't want to look directly at him. "I don't want to be separated from you, I want to be with you forever, I know it's wrong, but I don't want to change."

Su Shao knew that when Chu Hua said these words, the two of them would have no turning back. The illusion of being friends would be removed, and there would be nothing for them to go back to the past. Either they were together or they were strangers.

Su Shao closed his eyes, opened them again and managed to calm his breath.Chu Hua's gentle gaze made Su Shao's voice difficult when he spoke: "I won't hide it from you until now. I really like the same sex." Seeing that the brilliance in Chu Hua's eyes was even stronger, Su Shao had no choice but to Immediately explained, "But that's not you." Seeing that Chu Hua wanted to talk again, Su Shao understood what he meant, "It's not Zhu He either."

"Actually, it's a bit rude and disgusting. What I mean by liking the same sex is that I'm only interested in the same sex. The interest in the bed has nothing to do with love or not. Maybe as long as there is a man who makes me pleasing to the eye, we don't hate each other. The bed is also compatible, and I can live with him. I once loved Zhuhe, but now that love is long gone. It may be difficult for me to fall in love with someone again in this life, because of certain things, I It’s hard to let go of your defenses and trust someone completely. Therefore, it’s impossible for me to be someone’s lover. It’s impossible now, and it won’t be possible in the future. All I want is a lover.”

"In this life, all I want is family and friendship. Really, Chu Hua, I thought we could be best friends for a lifetime. But I don't know what went wrong, you actually... But no matter what, we can't be together Together. You deserve a better person, and you deserve a perfect love. From this point of view, I am not worthy of you. Moreover, this road is not easy, Chu Hua, if you are in the abyss of GAY If it’s not too deep, pull it out quickly.”

"I've never been into it before." Chu Hua lowered his eyes slightly, "That sentence is very old-fashioned, but I think it's right: I like you, and only you. I am whatever gender you are. "

"Even though I might never fall in love with you?"

"If you can't fall in love with me, then be friends first, and I'll just be by your side, but if one day you fall in love with me, then we'll be lovers, and I'll be with you forever."

The author has something to say: Mr. Su who can't continue to deceive himself~

17. Alienation

That conversation went nowhere.

Su Shao has to admit that facing Chu Hua's sincere eyes, he was indeed tempted for a moment.It's not that I have developed admiration for Chu Hua, but I have developed envy for Chu Hua's sincere and persistent feelings. He once had such a pure feeling, but unfortunately he couldn't get it back after being smashed.

However, it was only a moment of fascination.

Su Shao quickly controlled himself, and repeatedly expressed the hope that Chu Hua would give up that idea.

However, at this time, Chu Hua's persistence that Su Shao once praised was causing him a great headache.Chu Hua has repeatedly stated that it is his business that he likes Su Shao, and it is his business whether Su Shao likes him or not, and there is no conflict between the two.

Even if Su Shao doesn't like Chu Hua, it doesn't prevent Chu Hua from liking Su Shao.Now that he can't be a lover, he can return to the position of a friend and guard it first as a friend.

This kind of seemingly reasonable and well-founded words made Su Shao very entangled.

Su Shao really didn't want to get entangled in this kind of thing. He felt that the long-term pain is worse than the short-term pain. It is best to cut off Chu Hua's thoughts about him once, so that he can relax.

However, no matter how deadly he spoke, Chu Hua remained silent, silently lowered his head and looked at the road, and followed Su Shao's pace quietly.

When Su Shao stops, he also stops, and when Su Shao moves forward quickly, he also speeds up his pace. In short, he always maintains the same horizontal position as Su Shao.

Obviously it was a very weak gesture, but he sat up calmly and took it for granted. His appearance of being soft and hard and making his own decision in his heart made Su Shaozhang not know what else to say.

After all the words were clear, he didn't know what else he could do.

The only thing Su Shao can do is to alienate Chu Hua directly.It's not the covert alienation from others like last semester, but the alienation on the face.

Yi Lei and Qi Lian found something was wrong when they returned to their dormitory that night.No matter what Chu Hua said to Su Shao, Su Shao's response was very cold, nothing more than a word of "um".Yi Lei carelessly wanted to ask something, but Qi Lian insisted on holding him back.

The next day, even the people in the class were slightly aware of it.Because the two people who used to be inseparable from Meng didn't sit together, Su Shao hesitated for a while as if he didn't see Chu Hua's signal, and sat in the back row by himself.

The sparkle in Chu Hua's eyes is not as dazzling as before, and the whole person looks a little tired. Every time Su Shao feels that someone is watching him for a long time, when he turns his head, he will find that that person must be Chu Hua.

Seeing Chu Hua like this, Su Shao felt very uncomfortable.Having experienced love betrayal, he actually cherishes love more than anyone else, and hopes that people with sincere love in the world will live happily.It's just that he can't afford Chu Hua's happiness.

Qi Lian came to find Su Shao privately, asking about the matter between him and Chu Hua.

"He confessed to you?" Qi Lian asked straight to the point, Su Shao was almost caught off guard.

Although he felt that Qi Lian had insight into everything, Su Shao never thought that Qi Lian would say it so easily. He thought that Qi Lian would always keep this matter in his heart, so he just watched it.

"...Yes." Up to now, there is nothing to hesitate.

"And you turned him down?"

"Yes."

"Why? I think Chu Hua is pretty good, at least better than that Zhu He."

A trace of surprise flashed in Su Shao's eyes, and then he suppressed it. "Lianzi, are you persuading me to be with him? Don't be kidding, Lianzi, I'm not surprised that you can see that I'm gay. You've always been thoughtful, but because of this, you should be able to see that Chuhua is gay. No - at least he was definitely not gay before. And I don't love him, how can I drag him into the muddy water?"

"So I decided before that if Chu Hua didn't confess to you, I would not interfere. You are still friends if you don't confess. It's easy to cover up for four years, but you have come to this point. But to be honest, Su Shao, Although I don't like men, from the perspective of an outsider, I think you and Chu Hua are very suitable. I don't know what you are worried about, but since you really like men, Chu Hua also likes you, and he is very good, you guys Why not give it a try?"

"...But does Chu Hua really like me? Maybe he is just confused for a while, but if I really bring him in like this, then it will be a lifetime of mistakes. Or don't say this, even if Chu Hua Hua is really gay, but I'm not suitable for him either, Qi Lian, let me tell you the truth, I was... emotionally hurt before, it's hard to fall in love with others. I don't have love for Chu Hua now, It will probably be difficult in the future." Su Shao was silent for a while, and simply said everything in his heart.

"So this is the key point." Qi Lian sighed, "You don't believe in Chu Hua, let alone yourself. You said you wouldn't like Chu Hua, but how would you know if you just talked about it and didn't try it? "

"You..." Su Shao frowned at Qi Lian.

"I know what you're wondering," Qi Lian immediately continued, "You must be wondering why I want to make you two into a couple so much. Let's put it this way, Su Shao, you and Chu Hua are my friends, we Can't say which one is biased, I hope you both are doing well. I didn't see anything in you before, but you have changed a lot since the middle of last semester. I don't know if you are really because of the relationship with that Is it because of some other reasons that Zhuhe has something that makes him so depressed? Although you have been trying your best to conceal it, I can still feel it. Chu Hua is not a dull person, and what I can feel, he must be able to I felt it. But it was at that time that the relationship between the two of you was getting better and closer, and I realized that Chu Hua treated you... In fact, looking back on the past, there are many things that did not come without warning , very early