depicting time

Never lied to me?

Then after you saw through my feelings, why did you keep hiding it from me? You fell in love with me at first sight?

……

The momentary doubts soon disappeared, and Xu Yan was preoccupied with Song Ting's next move.

Song Ting suddenly hugged him into his arms, and the unsteady heartbeat rang in Xu Yan's ears, and he said, "If you are afraid that my expression will deceive you, then listen to my heartbeat. I can feel that I am now How do you feel?"

A clear heartbeat gave Xu Yan the answer, "Team leader, your mind is disturbed."

"It's been a mess for a long time, but you haven't noticed it. I've been thinking, you are so smart, why can't you find it?"

His hand stroked the back of Xu Yan's neck, as if teasing and comforting.Xu Yan was obsessed with the temperature of his fingertips, and also immersed in the sound of his heartbeat. It was the warm beating that made him feel extremely at ease, and made him no longer hide his inner voice, "It's your acting skills that are so good."

Song Ting said, "Xu Yan, please think about it seriously, did I really hide my feelings?"

You didn't, you just didn't say so.

Xu Yan found that Song Ting's speaking skills were very good, and he didn't leave any loopholes for himself.Xu Yan brought out the topic he had bypassed, "Then why didn't you tell me clearly? I said it, I don't like guessing feelings. Since you already know that I like you, and you also like me , why didn't you tell me? Let me guess there alone?"

He replied, "I hope you can listen to my explanation. Xu Yan, I know you have high requirements for love. What you want is not only romance, but also purity. Before I met you, I didn't know love. I complied with my parents' decision and planned to get engaged to someone..."

Xu Yan's heart trembled when he heard the word 'engagement'. Song Ting felt the uneasiness in the person in his arms, and hugged him a little harder, wrapping his arms around him tightly, fingertips on the He rubbed his hair, "Our engagement date was chosen after the year, but I met you after the year. The whole thing was caused by my reckless decision, and the responsibility rests with me alone. I hope to do my best I tried my best to minimize the damage. I just want to wait for the matter to be dealt with and face you in the purest form."

His self-blame and apology made it hard for Xu Yan to refuse.Asked, "How long have you known her...?"

"We only met twice, the first time was on a blind date, and the second time was when I confessed to her."

Xu Yan closed his eyes in his arms, and sighed, "Song Ting, your words are so nice, you make me unable to refute you, and I cannot blame you."

He replied, "If you want to blame it, you don't need any reason."

Xu Yan rejected such pampering, "I don't want to be a vexatious person."

Soon, Song Ting's laughter came from above his head, "Yes, you are not a vexatious person."

Then he asked, "Any more questions?"

There are a lot of documents on the table that haven't been looked at yet, but the president just wants to neglect his duties, so that the restless people can feel at ease in his arms and words.

Holding his face, Xu Yan still had his eyes closed, his broad hands were stroking his cheeks, his fingertips were caressing over his tear mole, he couldn't help trembling his eyelids, and the slender eyelashes were brushing against Song Ting's fingertips Pass.

Silent moments, subtle movements, stir each other's heartstrings.

Xu Yan opened his eyes, looked straight at him, and asked, "When did you find out that I like you?"

"Will you be offended if I say I knew it from the beginning?"

"I'm already mad."

I'm angry, so I won't be angry anymore.

Xu Yan was really as he said, he would not make trouble for no reason.Song Ting blamed himself even more, and then hugged him into his arms, letting him hug his beating heart.He asked again, "Are there any questions?"

"You let me discover the paintings in the room today, was it accidental or intentional?"

"I'm betting on whether you'll be curious about other things in the house."

Song Ting's frankness caused Xu Yan to ask three times in a row, "Are you a gambler? You like gambling so much? Can't you just tell me?"

His laughter was low, "I thought it would be more romantic, but it seems I was wrong. It turns out that Xu Yan likes a more straightforward approach."

Song Ting thought that the romance was equivalent to the complicated external form.The romance that Xu Yan thought was only equal to the communication of the heart.He shared a secret with Song Ting, "I am willing to guess anything, it doesn't matter how difficult it is, but I don't want to guess feelings, because I have guessed for too long..."

The person who had just been appeased and calmed was now uneasy again, "From the age of ten to 20, I have been wondering if there is any real relationship between my parents. The answer is no..."

"Song Ting, I'm afraid of the feeling of my hope being lost."

He said he was afraid, these two simple words were enough to make Song Ting feel distressed. "I understand, I won't let you guess in the future."

Since you like the direct way, I will not hide any words, any words about you.

The president brought the work home, but brought the little assistant into the house.Song Ting didn't want Xu Yan to go back to his own room, and he couldn't spare time to accompany him.

So he brought a copy of "Being and Time" written by Heidegger from the bookcase. Song Ting was very good at picking up the book, and chose the book that Xu Yan would definitely be interested in.He took the trouble to move the single sofa in the bedroom into the study, and asked, "Do you want to drink chocolate milk? There is chocolate powder just bought downstairs."

"Don't be so troublesome."

Xu Yan opened "Existence and Time". In fact, he has already read this book, and the philosophical thoughts in it have been recalled in his mind all these years. However, when Song Ting told him, "I believe Xu Teacher Hui Xiao, I would definitely like to sit here and read for a while, and come to accompany you after I finish my work."

Xu Yan couldn't refuse, "Okay, I agree."

He obediently sat down on the sofa, but Song Ting was still attached to this place and refused to leave, "You just sit here, so that I can see you when I look up."

His desk is directly opposite the sofa, and Xu Yan can indeed be seen as soon as he looks up...

Does it need to be this close?

Xu Yan was about to lose control of his temperature rise...

Song Ting is too clingy... Is he originally such a character?

Xu Yan couldn't help covering half of his face with a book, and replied, "...um."

Song Ting's hand came behind the book, stroked his cheek, felt the temperature on his face, and quickly withdrew his hand, "Let's go."

A few steps away, but also to say goodbye so seriously...

When Song Ting was busy with work, Xu Yan tried not to look up at him so as not to disturb his work.However, after he turned over more than a dozen pages, Song Ting had already got up and came to look for him.

Xu Yan suspected that he hadn't finished the work at all, and at this moment, he should return his words. 'Don't worry, I'm right in front of you, let's take our time. '

Xu Yan laughed heartily, but was stunned the next second.The team leader with immense strength picked him up, his overly relaxed appearance made Xu Yan suspect that he had no weight at all.

When sitting on Song Ting's lap, Xu Yan was extremely uncomfortable, but Song Ting was very comfortable, hugging him with a book in his arms, and asked very naturally, "Where did you see it?"

Xu Yan's mind was confused for a while, and he quickly thought of a topic, "Have you read this book before?"

"I've seen it." He whispered in Xu Yan's ear, "What impresses me the most is what Heidegger called 'existence towards death'. Existence is the awareness of the finiteness of the time you have left."

Heidegger divides people into two categories, one is authentic and the other is inauthentic, and he calls those who live in the inauthentic state ordinary people.

Ordinary people do not have the ability to think independently, and are trapped in the cumbersome world and buried in the crowd.Always included in the mass, and one less of you, one more of you, little changes.

Heidegger hopes that everyone can "exist towards death" and realize the real existence of death, so as to find their mission in this life and go for it, so that they will not waste time.

Since Song Ting mentioned 'existence towards death', Xu Yan couldn't help but ask, "Have you found your mission yet?"

Song Ting closed the book in his hand, breathed on Xu Yan's neck, and said, "I don't fully agree with his point of view. Existing towards death makes life too heavy, short-lived joy Everything has become nothingness, the only thing that matters is the mission you set.”

"Ah."

However, in Xu Yan's heart, life is inherently heavy, but most people like to be blinded by the beauty on the outside, and never dare to face up to the sadness in life.

Including himself.

The person who was hugging him at this moment said to him, "Xu Yan, when I realize that time is limited, I don't want to leave anything in this world, I just want to get more from this world. Greed, I just want to get more company with you in the limited time."

"My original plan was to design a romantic scene and then show my heart to you. But I was reminded by a line of lyrics, 'For a hundred years, a lover can only accompany you halfway'."

"I am 32 years old this year. According to my 80-year life expectancy, I only have 48 years left in my life. We know the cruelty of time best. It will not show any sympathy because of our deep feelings. Time can make us Meeting can also separate us. Xu Yan, I can't accept that the time with you can be shortened any longer."

48 years... No matter how close a lover is, they can't be with each other all the time, so how many days do they really get together?

There is still day and night in it... If you really count carefully, there is not much left.

No wonder...

Xu Yan said, "No wonder you are so clingy."

He asked back, "Is it very clingy?"

"Ah."

After accusing him so directly, he said, "I can be more clingy."

Xu Yan was stunned, more clingy... what was it like?

Soon, the kiss fell on his face, the soft touch, the slightly cold temperature, it was Song Ting's lips.

……

Xu Yan experienced another confusion in his head, this...is this a more clingy way?

Song Ting's breath approached again, knowing what he was about to do, but Xu Yan was stiff and did not dare to move.This time, however, it was interrupted by the vibration of the mobile phone.

After reading the news, Song Ting leaned against him and sighed, "There is an urgent meeting."

The team leader's busyness always comes suddenly.Xu Yan held his hand clasped tightly in front of her, and said, "Go."

But he didn't move, and continued to talk, "Xu Yan, I hesitated about a question before. You are my team member, and I don't know if I have the ability to balance work and love time."

His current tone doesn't sound very distressed.Xu Yan asked, "Are you capable now?"

He replied, "I try my best."

Song Ting's best effort is equal to Xu Yan's.

The sound of the wind from the propeller came after a while, and Song Ting judged the distance of the helicopter based on the volume of the sound.

"It's time to go. I will cherish the tenderness at this time."

How to cherish?

At this moment of separation, his kiss finally landed on Xu Yan's lips...

Without encountering obstacles, it easily entered the depths.

Xu Yan was attached to his warmth, put his hands on his shoulders, and sat down facing him unconsciously.

At this moment, Song Ting hugged him and stood up.

The kiss never stopped, they came to the window together, Xu Yan was at a high place, bent down to kiss the person who was holding him.

The closed window was opened, and the team leader wanted to regain his sanity before the work came. Xu Yan was put down by him, but he did not separate.

It wasn't until the helicopter's escalator descended that Song Ting let him go, and said to the breathless person,

"wait me back."

He jumped onto the windowsill, ran to the night outside the window, and hung on the escalator.

When his figure disappeared with the sound of the wind, Xu Yan came back to his senses, stroked his lips, longing for the tenderness he had given him.

The Second Secret

Xu Yan's secret was almost impossible to hide.

After the first psychological consultation, Yu Yang didn't say much to Xu Yan, but called me instead.

He said, "Xu Yan is still in a state of depression, but he doesn't realize it."

This is bad news. I originally hoped that Yu Yang's diagnosis could tell me that Xu Yan had come out of his past depression.

After all, his every word, every move is so normal.

Yu Yang said, "His mind-wandering time is longer than ordinary people, and it is easy to fall into his own world."

I discovered this very early on. He would always stare at something for a long time, and his lifeless eyes told me that he was not thinking about philosophical issues.

Rather, it is simply detached from itself.

Once such a diagnosis result is known to the superior, it may affect Xu Yan's work, and the superior may not allow a depressed patient to stay in the group.

...and I couldn't bear to let him go.

He loves life now, more than any of us.

His anticipation of the mission is definitely out of his heart... because saving so many lives, to him, is saving himself.

If he is forced to leave, his memory will be erased a second time, and there will be another blank period in his life.

He has already encountered too many gaps.

Even if I don't love him, I don't want to see him so lonely and helpless.

Besides, I love him.

Therefore, I assured my superiors based on his previous excellent performance, "Xu Yan will never lose his mind during the mission, he is capable enough to be a space-time restorer."

"No one is more suitable to be a space-time restorer than him."

……

The timeline is after the end of the third space-time shard.

Voice of the Past

On February 2th, we ushered in a new task.

The location given by Lao Wang is in the first spring of Area A, where time and space fragments once appeared outside the Yi'an community.And when we arrived at the origin, we couldn't see anything except the heavy snow.

The heavy snow in winter blocked our view and made the search difficult.

And I realized that this space-time fragment seemed to be guided by other people, otherwise, it would not have left the origin so quickly.

Others can only be new space-time restorers.

This guess made my team members very excited. The previous mission was too difficult, and we were all waiting for a newcomer to join us to rescue the current predicament.

I ordered Fu Ye to search the surveillance cameras in the streets outside the community. The surveillance showed that only 5 people had passed the origin of space-time fragments before we arrived.

Two women, three men.

After checking the trajectories of these five people one by one, we finally locked one person.

The snow-white coat was almost the same color as the heavy snow in the sky. He liked to walk with his head down, and he didn't notice the fragments of time and space following him.

I observed his expression from the surveillance camera. He was clearly walking in the daytime, but he looked confused as if he was in the night.

That day, I made an inexplicable decision. I asked the team members to wait in place, and drove to the street where he was alone.

Obviously I chose a more troublesome strategy, but my team members did not question my strategy.Fu Ye shared his real-time location with me through the walkie-talkie, and I followed the information he said and drove across a street.

The snow was getting heavier and heavier, and it became difficult to move on the road. While I didn't understand my behavior at the moment, I was waiting for Fu Ye to tell me his latest location.

Very contradictory.

This is something I rarely feel.

……

Fu Ye said that he ran out of the flower shop following the fragments of time and space.

At that moment, my thought was that through the guidance of time and space fragments, he was about to enter my life.

When space debris flew towards my direction, I knew that he would also come towards me.

He stopped on the opposite side of the street, holding a bouquet of bright red roses, which was extremely gorgeous and beautiful.The most beautiful person I have ever seen is in the teacher's painting.

He drew his lover.

And on that day, I met a more beautiful him.

His voice was tentative and tense, and such a familiar tone let me know that he was very interested in me.

I have to say, at that time, I was very happy.

After many late nights of thinking, I finally figured it out.

From the moment I saw him, I felt a heartbeat I had never had before.The so-called love at first sight is just love at first sight. I agree with this sentence very much.

In the end, what made me unable to look away was his unique eyes and his unique wisdom.He is like a bystander, observing the love, love, separation and reunion in the world...

Many times, his figure is so lonely that I want to pull him back from a distance.

It also makes me very fortunate that I can become a nostalgic part of his life.

I want to take him out of the past life, and I am very fortunate that I have such ability.To be able to see the colors in his eyes getting richer and richer is probably the joy that nothing in the world can replace.

I never hide my love, but dare not tell him.Always wait for the right moment, the purest moment, to explain everything.

I thought that by bringing him here, his life was always under my control.And that day I realized that I had no control over time.

Time has brought too many tragedies to people in this era, and I don't want to be one of them.

I have always believed that the best preparation for the future is to cherish the present.