winter suicide plan

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Tired all over but full of the warmth of a kiss, I was already on the edge of the sleeping window. The moment he asked, I turned over and fell to the window rail, and fell into a deep sleep.

His voice fell to the ground as light as a feather, and in the silence of the car where only the heater was still roaring, his question was not asked as if he was looking for an answer.I feel the dim street lights of the past flashing across my lids, like a tunnel in a dream.

I was half asleep and half awake and felt the car stop, but I couldn't open my eyes, the heat was heavy, and some sweat came out of my forehead.His warm hands stroked the hair on my forehead, wiped my sweat, and rubbed my face with his thumb to my chin.Hearing the crackling sound of the seat belt being pulled, Tang Fengxing gently kissed on the forehead.The car moved, he reluctantly lingered behind my lips for a moment, then withdrew his hand.

Sinking into the soft darkness, no panic nestled in it, the blanket smelled a little of his faint sandalwood.

I don't know how long it took before I woke up, Tang Fengxing kept looking at me, and I looked at him, and then he finally retracted his gaze as if admiring an oil painting, and the outline of his side face could be seen clearly under the street lamp, quietly blushing ears.

I propped myself up, and said in a dull voice, "How long has it been here, why didn't you call me?"

"I see you slept more comfortably than usual." He wiped the sweat from my forehead.

"It shows that kissing before going to bed is good for sleep."

I tried to get out of the car by myself, but my legs and feet felt weak. I thought that I hadn’t eaten dinner today, and I only drank porridge at noon, and the effect of swallowing the medicine was still there.I was sweating all over my body.

Tang Fengxing got out of the car and carried me on his back.Although I've lost weight, the weight that exists is still there.I whispered in his ear: "I'm sinking, let me down."

He didn't listen to me, carried me up to the second floor, put his arms around my waist, and staggered me into the house.I pulled him down on the sofa, which was soft and sunken.I kissed him on the cheek and said, "Tang Fengxing, what should we eat tonight?"

"I bought glutinous rice balls and dumplings, which one do you like?" He didn't get anxious either.

I smiled and leaned on his shoulder: "It's okay, let's put it together. Later, let's go to the night market. There should be a small New Year's Eve party in the square."

"Are you in good health now? It's snowing today and it's quite cold."

"I'm refreshed after watching the fireworks, and I'm not so afraid of the cold."

"Like fireworks?" He touched my waist and slowly touched my protruding ribs on my chest.

I moved it itchyly: "No."

"That……"

"The prerequisite is to watch the fireworks with you." I answered him sternly. "Otherwise, no matter how gorgeous the fireworks are, they are still lifeless chrysanthemums in my eyes."

It doesn't matter what I want to do, when I want to do anything, I want to see Tang Fengxing standing beside me, when I look at him, he can also look at me, and take a quiet kiss.

He was very happy after listening to it. I thought it was a bit earthy and romantic, but it also had a strange taste.I turned my head and said nothing, but he happily pulled me up and asked me to eat dumplings and glutinous rice balls with him.

These glutinous rice balls are bought freshly packaged, and the dumplings are made by Tang Fengxing, stuffed with mushrooms, pork and corn.

It was almost nine o'clock when I came back from the hospital.

After the hasty cooking, he gave me the first bowl, and there was a clean one-yuan coin hidden in the first bite of the dumpling I bit into.

He sat down and told me that if he ate the coins, he would definitely have good luck in the coming year.

I stood up and saw the unfinished stuffing in the kitchen. I put the coins in my pocket into hot water, scalded them, wrapped them in the meat, and cooked the dumplings.

I put the dumplings into his bowl: "You put the coins, and you gave me my blessings. Now I put the coins, and I give your blessings. Maybe I can give less blessings, but You must have given a lot, and we will all have good luck in the coming year."

He ate the dumpling with a smile on his face, took out the coin, smiled at me, and put it next to the rice bowl as a treasure.

"There is no more, no more, less, and our blessings are just right together." He picked up a chopstick and chopped red pepper.

We finished the dumplings, put the coins into our trench coats, and he wrapped me in a scarf and drove to the night market.

A snack street in the night market, the cold wind in winter did not stop those hungry people from coming out to eat roadside snacks.

He wrapped me in an extra sweater and a scarf wrapped a few times, as if I was wrapped in a pile of clothes.He was really happy to see me walking clumsily, we stepped on the snow and ice covered with layers of chaff.

I just finished eating dumplings and glutinous rice balls, and saw that the food stall was getting excited again. I wanted to eat Meizhou pickled noodles from the roadside shop. He shook his head and said, "Dumplings and glutinous rice balls, you have eaten two big bowls, and you still need to take medicine at night." , can’t eat it.”

I touched my bulging belly quietly and said, "Is it all in one bite?"

"Who will eat the rest?"

"It's in the refrigerator, I'll eat it tomorrow."

"You will throw it to me tomorrow, am I a trash can?"

Taking advantage of the lack of people and the dim lights, avoiding the eyes of the crowd, I kissed his face sideways and said, "My wife, you are in charge of the money. Buy it. I only have ten yuan in my mobile phone wallet."

In order to prevent me from buying too many items and causing unnecessary money loss, Tang Fengxing reset my Alipay and WeChat payment passwords.

I once bought a home cleaning appliance on Taobao that I would never use because of my overly manic mood.

There are also more than a dozen literary works that I have never read at all. The reason for buying is that the cover of the book is beautiful, and I think it looks good.

I don’t have a cat, but imagine that I have a pet, buy expensive cat food, and finally wake up, I can only sell it to others at half the price. Such excessive consumption made me feel even more depressed later, so I asked Tang Fengxing to set up my payment password.

If I want to buy something, I will ask Tang Fengxing to pay for it. For me, the mobile phone is only used to contact Tang Fengxing.

The wind blew his messy hair up, he was slightly stunned after my kiss, sighed softly, raised the corner of his mouth and said: "Chen Shuning, you fouled."

"Buy?"

"Buy." He pinched my face, breathed out and entered the shop, I was waiting for him at the table.

I unconsciously thought of the sophomore girl in the hospital. Her school is nearby. Would she come here to eat bowls of noodles before?

She came a week later than me, and she didn't go home for the New Year, but everyone in the family came to see her. Before I left, she stuffed me with a special product from my hometown-two sausages.

She told me Happy New Years and I gave her back the roll of tissues and bought the same brand as she requested.

She finally said: "Don't cry anymore, big man."

"Little brat knows what a fart. I'll eat your rice and use your WiFi. I'm not allowed to cry." I refuted her with a smile.

"Stop smoking, no one will cooperate with you next time."

"Got it, man."

"Then happy new year, He Rongnan."

Sure enough, it was a mouthful name, and my tongue still got a little knotted when I said it.

It was the first time she heard me call her name, she shook her messy hair, stuck out her tongue and said, "Happy New Year, Chen Shuning."

With that, she bounced back to her floor.

The smoky little shop, I can't help but think of the sausage, but unfortunately the sausage is spicy, I can't eat it, it's so cheap that Tang Fengxing is popular.

I said to Tang Fengxing: "A sophomore girl in high school gave me two sausages, let's make them and eat them tomorrow."

"Okay, steam it in the rice?"

"Fry it, add some chili powder you bought, whichever you like best."

"Can't you eat spicy food?"

I raised my head and said, "When you marry a wife, follow your wife, and when you marry a dog, follow your dog. I have to get used to what my wife likes to eat, right?"

Tang Fengxing was somewhat immune to my title, but still disagreed with raised eyebrows, and shook his head and said, "You can try to eat some, but not too much. Chili is easy to be irritable, so eat less."

"Don't be in a hurry to change yourself. What you like to eat, I like to eat what I eat. You don't need to find a way to return it to me just because I like you. I like you, not the qualification for you to settle for second best .”

As he said, I really don't like eating chili, and my throat will hurt the next day.I really want to cater to his liking, want to eat spicy food with him, use spicy food to change myself to adapt, adapt to his love, and return his love.

In the past, I gave in to Zhu Meiying countless times. After the divorce, she can eat whatever she likes and follow her temper.I'm allergic to mangoes but she always buys them and never remembers that I can't eat them.Cut it for me, if you don't eat it, you will scold me, scold me for being shameless, just like my dad who is looking for a mistress, he won't eat something delicious.

I'll eat it eventually, and there won't be any left.

In the middle of the night, my whole body became swollen. I got up by myself, wrapped my clothes and went to the small clinic to prescribe allergy medicine. I couldn’t fall asleep all night.

But he didn't want me to do these things, and my heart was full of sour lemonade, and I said awkwardly, "Why do you always say these things at a glance?"

"Because I hope you can understand this, instead of getting into the horns and sacrificing yourself for me."

I nodded, pursed my lips and said, "If you want to eat those two sausages, just say so."

"So petty?"

"Correct."

"Then I..." He bit his ear a little embarrassedly at me.

"Then I... can I exchange the meat for your two sausages?"

There was some longing in his eyes.

We are all ordinary people with seven emotions and six desires, falling in love, not having sex, being platonic is meaningless.

I'm just cheesy.

We held hands under the table, intertwined, I stroked his knuckles carefully, made a circle and said: "deal."

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Chen Shuning's perspective