fictional spring

When I saw him for the first time, it was outside the door of Fern Princess Oiran's room.

This is the Kyogokuya in Yoshihara Flower Street. Relying on the reputation of Warabiji Oiran, Kyogokuya has occupied a place in Yoshiwara. Even the proprietress Mitsu has to bow her head in front of her.

Because the shop I stayed in before, the proprietress was not doing well, and she didn't have the intention to continue the business, so I transferred the shop and people to Kyogokuya.

Before that, I had actually heard about the reputation of Fern Ji Oiran. Although she has an extremely beautiful appearance, she is notoriously bad-tempered.

The geisha who have stayed in the store for a longer time probably know her temperament well, so they push left and right when they hear that they are going to send something to Waraji Oiran.

Just when they were resisting to evade, someone suddenly mentioned my name.

"Muyue has nothing to do now, why don't you go?"

At that time, I was practicing shamisen.

Such a proposal seemed to inspire everyone, and other people began to agree, "That's right, anyway, you haven't made much progress after practicing for so long, it doesn't matter if you go to send it off and come back to practice."

I raised my face and looked at the person who said this.

She was not wrong, because my talent in temperament is almost zero.

No matter how long you practice every day, no matter how long you persist, your skills will not be as good as others.

Since I was very young, my mother often said to me in a regretful tone: "It would be great if Mutsuki could be smarter..."

At that time, my mother was still alive, and my father had not yet become addicted to gambling. Although it was just an ordinary family, it could still be considered a happy family.

It's a pity that my father became obsessed with gambling later. Not only did he throw all the family's small savings on the gambling table, he even sold off his mother's jewelry and kimonos in exchange for the gambling funds that would remain in the casino.

The mother's health was not good, and she fell into a serious illness after being stimulated, but at that time, the family had no savings, and the father at that time... only the gambling table was left in his eyes.

She probably couldn't feel at ease until she died, not only because of her father's fall, but also because of me.

I didn't know what to do for her, I didn't know where to find my father, and my mother realized that I was different from other children since I went out alone as a child and couldn't find my way home.

Compared with other children of the same age, I am obviously too dull.

No matter what I do, I will always be half a beat slower than others, and my ability to respond is obviously inferior to others. Even if someone is talking to me, as long as I am a little tactful, I will not be able to understand what they mean.

I am a very stupid child.

I suddenly realized this when my mother's palm was stroking my head.

Because even at this time, I still can't understand what she is thinking, let alone... what the mother's gaze at me means.

Several years after her death, I was sold to a shop in Yoshiwara Flower Street by my father who hadn’t returned home for a long time.

To be honest, when he appeared in front of me, it took me a while to recognize him—my father, whom I haven’t seen for a long time, has undergone tremendous changes in appearance and appearance.

I stood beside him, staring blankly at him negotiating the price with the proprietress.

When I was young, my father was a very gentle person. He would hold me in his arms when the fireworks were set off by the river, take my mother to watch the fireworks by the river, and give me a gift from the street on the way back. Buy snacks, and buy beautiful jewelry for my mother.

But now he has become too unfamiliar, with a flattering smile on his sunken face, and the words he said from his mouth are to exchange me for more property.

"Look!"

My father dragged me by the arm and pulled me in front of the proprietress, and pinched my face with the other hand to force me to raise my head so that the proprietress could see... my facial features more clearly.

"Isn't this face worth the price I said? Boss, it's obvious that you made money from this business. If it weren't for the fact that the family is really difficult now, I wouldn't sell my daughter to you. I think her mother But there are dozens of beauties in the town, look, our daughter is much prettier than her..."

I stood there with no expression or struggle, just calmly met the eyes of the proprietress.

She touched my cheek, and the temperature of her palm reminded me of my mother for no reason.

"The face is worth the price..."

As soon as the proprietress said this, the father showed an ecstatic look, until he said the rest from the proprietress's mouth: "But if you add her physical condition, it won't be worth so much."

Hearing these words, the expression on the father's face froze for a moment, and the expression on his originally flattering smile also darkened - not to the proprietress, but to me.

It's like blaming me, blaming-why didn't I have a healthy body?

This kind of question has been entangled in my heart for a while. I have been sick from time to time since I was a child. When my mother was still alive, she would always touch my forehead and say to me: "Muzuki, get well soon, if you get better. , let’s go watch the fireworks with Dad.”

But she couldn't wait for the day when I got better, and she couldn't wait for the day when my father changed his mind and went to watch the fireworks with us.

I don’t know what the final transaction price is, but I only know that my father left me in Yoshiwara Flower Street, and the proprietress looked at me with indifferent eyes and said to me: “My store doesn’t know how to raise flowers. Trash that only eats."

In order to make guests happy when they come, geisha will learn a lot of talents, but my body is not strong enough to support me to practice dancing, so the proprietress only arranged for me to learn shamisen.

However, I really have no talent. After several months of learning, I can barely play a complete piece of music.

The proprietress looked at me more and more gloomyly, and occasionally even made me feel that she seemed to be regretting buying me.

It's just... I'm actually not very good at trying to figure out what other people think.

So all I can do is follow her orders and do what she asks me to do in a proper manner.

Until her shop could no longer operate.

She came to me alone before the geishas in the shop were sold.

"Muzuki, right." The proprietress was smoking her hookah, the windows were closed, and the smell of smoke in the room made me bow my head and cough.

When I raised my eyes, I saw her frowning, and I pursed my lips and nodded.

Seeing this, the proprietress sighed, and said with emotion: "If I had known that such a day would come, I would never have bought you."

Hearing her say that made my head drop even lower.

I don't know what the right reaction should be at this time, so I don't dare to look at her.

Perhaps it was because they were about to separate, and the proprietress also expressed her true thoughts, "I have never let you receive guests. In fact, I just want to make a fortune at once. Anyway, your body is just like this, and you can live even if there are no accidents." But a few years..."

Only then did I realize that from the beginning to the end, the proprietress just wanted to sell me directly to a rich man with this hobby.

"Although I've only been here for so long, in fact, you also know that rich people always have some strange hobbies, and it's not uncommon for them to like sick beauties. If you are lucky enough to meet a kind-hearted adult, as long as A few coaxing words will probably help you redeem yourself, if the other party likes you, maybe you can be raised by your side or something..."

At this time, the proprietress, I don't understand why she told me all this.

But I didn't ask either.

Even if I didn't say a word, or even looked up at her, she could still ramble on for a long time by herself, so I think, probably she just wanted to find someone to talk to.

This is one of the rare times when I can correctly understand the thoughts of others. She spoke for a long time before stopping her voice, and then suddenly raised my face.

That old face already covered with wrinkles just appeared in my line of sight.

"No matter how many times I look at it, I still think...it's so beautiful..."

As if sighing, the proprietress stared at my face closely, but her tone changed: "It's a pity that you have never been very smart."

Speaking of this, she said again: "In a place like Yoshihara, just having a pretty face is not enough. When you grow up and get old in a few years, the guests will not always look at you. You can't learn waka or shamisen, and besides having a pretty face, you can't even speak well..."

She paused, and there seemed to be a silent and strange atmosphere in the air, so I subconsciously said, "I'm sorry."

Hearing this, she raised her eyebrows: "Kyogoku House is different from a small shop like ours. You can only ask for blessings for what you can live there."

The proprietress who talked to me for a long time before I left left a kimono in my room before I woke up the next day.

It was a kimono with gorgeous patterns, and even I could tell it was expensive at a glance.

Incomprehensible.

With this in mind, I was taken to Kyogokuya.

As the proprietress said, a big shop like Kyogokuya is completely different from the place I used to live in. Girls of different ages are arranged to study together, and I will always be the one who learns the slowest.

Because I'm not gifted, and I'm not as smart as they are.

So when they were asked to give something to the ferocious and angry Fern Princess Oiran, I had no reason to refuse.

In other words, I didn't have a chance to speak at all, so they stuffed things into their arms and pushed me into the corridor.

Occasionally, drunken guests passed by in the low corridor, and the smell on their bodies made me shiver. I lowered my head and carried my things to the room of Oiran Bracken - she lived in the north room on the shady side , this room does not see much sunlight all year round, it is said that the room was chosen by Oiran Ji Ji.

The closer I got to her room, the quieter the guests in the corridor and the surrounding movement became. Just when I was a little more relaxed, I ran into someone.

"Sorry……"

When I raised my face to apologize to the man, I also saw his face clearly.

It was a very young and handsome young man, with slightly curly short hair blowing down obediently on both sides of his cheeks, his red plum-colored eyes were deep and dark.

When our eyes met, the expression in his eyes seemed to change, and his expression became indescribable, as if he had seen something unbelievable.

——I upset the customer.

Such thoughts ran across my mind for a moment, and I suddenly remembered what the proprietress Mitsu had said to us when I first came to Kyogokuya.

"No matter what, you can't make the guests angry."

At that time, she told us this.

But when she taught us a lesson, an unusually beautiful woman with an arrogant expression walked by not far away, as if answering this question, she glanced in our direction, and then sneered.

Mitsu's proprietress' face suddenly became a little ugly.

The other girls were very sensible and silent, so I also lowered my head and pretended not to see anything, but for some reason, my luck always seemed to be bad.

Mrs. Mitsu got mad at me and punished me for not having dinner that night.

Later, my sister in the same room secretly left some food for me, wrapped a small snack given by the guest in a handkerchief, and opened it in front of me, telling me to fill my stomach quickly.

"Muyue doesn't need to care too much about this kind of thing. The proprietress just wants to intimidate you newcomers. She doesn't dare to say anything in front of Warabiji Oiran, so in order to prevent you from becoming the next Warabiji Oiran , to show off in front of her, she will deliberately pick someone out to punish, so that everyone can be afraid of her."

Having explained it to this point, I immediately understood why.

——I was just unlucky, that's why I was singled out and punished for everyone to see.

So I didn't speak at this time, just quietly eating the snacks she brought.

The sister in the same room sat across from me, hugged her calf, put her chin on her knee, stared at me for a while, and suddenly said: "Maybe the proprietress probably picked you out on purpose..."

There seems to be something in her voice that I don't quite understand, probably... an emotion of envy?

She said to me: "If only I could be as beautiful as you..."

After all, it was brought back secretly, so there are not many snacks. Fortunately, I don't usually eat much, so I can barely eat enough.

When she said this, I had already finished my snacks, maybe because I thought she was a good person, so I asked her: "Why?"

Hearing this, she was a little surprised, as if she didn't expect me to answer at all, she leaned in front of me and stared at me curiously: "Can you actually talk? I thought you couldn't..."

When she said this, she suddenly backed away, adjusted her sitting position under my puzzled eyes, and said to me: "You don't know yet, do you? Although you just came here, someone has already predicted it secretly. You will definitely be able to become the Oiran of the Fern Princess in the future."

I don't quite understand why anyone would speculate like that.

"You also saw it today, the appearance of that Fern Princess Oiran, compared with her, you are not inferior, as long as you work a little harder..."

The expectation of my sister in the same room did not last long, because when I woke up one morning, I found that there was no one in the bedding beside me.

Others secretly discussed this matter, and they said: "She was found running away with her sweetheart at night, so she was beaten to death by the lady boss..."

This kind of thing is already used to them in their eyes.

But even so, the girl who has a good relationship with her still shed tears. I don’t know if it’s purely for her, or I’m also afraid that one day I may also usher in such a future, but it’s nothing to me the difference.

Because it's clearly the first time I've heard of such a thing, but I just think——so it's like this.

At this moment, I can already understand that I am indeed different from other people.

No matter when, my emotions will not change too strongly, and my thoughts on certain things will be completely different from others.

This kind of cognition is entrenched in my heart, and the distance between me and other people is getting farther and farther.

That's why they pushed this kind of thing to me so unanimously, and if I was punished for annoying the guests, no one would intercede for me.

Will he be locked up this time or not allowed to eat?

While having this kind of doubt, I also suddenly realized that no one would secretly bring me snacks anymore.

Just as I was thinking wildly, the man in front of me spoke.

"What's your name?"

He looked into my eyes closely, and the tone of his voice was strange for some reason.

But I still told him: "Muzuki."

My previous name was Genmuzuki, but when my father sold me to the previous store, the proprietress no longer allowed me to use my surname. In her words: "You don't need to keep this kind of thing anymore. Just remove it, and it will be called Mutsuki from now on."

Because she said such a thing, even if I wanted to reject it when she said it, I was still forced to accept it.

It's a little strange to say that I didn't feel anything when I was sold by my father, but when the lady boss told me to give up my surname, I felt a certain resistance.

The man standing in front of me was silent for a long time when he heard my answer, while Huakui Jiji opened the barrier for some reason at this time, and suddenly opened his eyes wide when his sight touched us.

In fact, this is the first time I have seen her appearance closely and seriously. Even if she showed such an expression, it did not damage her beauty at all, but added a strange sense of beauty.

She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something to the man in front of me, but he raised his hand to stop her.

"fine."

The man in front of me spoke, and then turned his eyes to me, showing a gentle smile on his face, and his voice was very approachable.

He told me: "It's just a little thing, don't apologize to me."

I blinked my eyes when I heard this, but from the corner of my eye, I suddenly caught a glimpse of an extremely strange expression on the face of Fern Ji Huakui, as if I saw something terrible... Perhaps this is not accurate, it is more like , she felt as if she was in a dream.

Is it because of the man in front of me?

While being so puzzled, the man standing opposite me suddenly asked me why I was here.

Only then did I remember my reason for coming, "Someone asked me to bring something to Fern Ji Oiran..."

Fern Ji Huakui's performance at this time is really more approachable than ever before, she took the things from me, and even showed a kind smile: "Let the maids do this kind of trivial matter." It's okay..."

For some reason, I always feel that this smile is also a little stiff.

There seemed to be some kind of strange atmosphere circulating in the narrow corridor, Fern Princess Oiran looked at me, then at the man in front of me, hesitant to speak.

I've never been good at dealing with this kind of thing, and I don't understand why Waraji Oiran's guests have to stand in front of me for so long, thinking of what others said before, Warahime Oiran's guests went to other geisha's place and she was angry Look, I seem to be able to see my future.

But for some reason, the performance of Fern Princess Oiran at this time made me think that the situation might be different this time.

After the man left, Fern Ji Huakui squinted her eyes and stared at me for a while, then suddenly asked me: "What did that lord say to you?"

I was startled, "He... asked my name."

Hearing this kind of answer, Fern Ji Huakui almost twisted her whole face together. She looked at me deeply for a while and said to me, "You can go."

There was no scolding or punishment, and when I returned to the practice room, the rest of the girls gathered in the corner and whispered.

I didn't intend to listen to what they had to say, and I didn't want to know what the eyes they cast on me meant, so I practiced my shamisen very unskillfully.

Thoughts seem to drift to a very distant place.

Thinking back to the man I ran into at the gate of Huakui Fern Princess, a strange thought suddenly came to my mind—as if, in some other place, we had met like this before.

I raised my face and saw a familiar face, my figure was reflected in the red plum-colored eyes—I was probably smiling in those eyes.

Because I know him.

This eerie sense of familiarity and weird memories that popped up out of nowhere still haunted me even after I returned to the room. Lying in the bedding with my eyes open, I seemed to see that person again in a trance.

We hadn't met before, I'm sure of that.

A man like him, if I had seen him before, should at any rate have some impressions - even if the impressions were very superficial.

But looking at the past 16 years of my life, no matter what moment, I have never seen him.

This strangeness has always accompanied me to sleep, and it is probably for this reason that I have a dream.

In my dream, I was overwhelmed by the bustling crowd. I could only see the lanterns hanging in the darkness and the people around me whose faces couldn’t be seen clearly. Suddenly, my body seemed to bump into someone, and that person held my shoulders. Pulled me slightly closer.

He was walking around in the crowd holding my hand, and the background in his black bathrobe made people feel palpitating for no reason.

Even if there is no evidence, I don't have any clues to make a judgment, but I just feel that the person I met outside the door of Huakui Jiji's room may be the owner of the figure in the dream.

Although I have no actual evidence, that person seems to have some kind of strange idea. When I got up the next day and went to the practice place to play the shamisen as usual, someone suddenly told me——

"Muyue! Go to the door and check! A guest brought you a gift!"