fictional spring

It was spring day when I first met the boy.

The weather was fine during the day, and the cherry trees in the courtyard were in bloom. The faint scent of flowers filled the air. Accompanied by my maid, I went out for a walk. When I was about to go to bed at night, the servant informed my father that he had returned home.

He said he was going to visit his old friend's father, but when he came back, he was followed by a young boy.

When I came to the hall, I saw the boy's appearance in the lighted light.

The boy was about eleven or twelve years old, with short black hair lying softly on his head, some shadows from the light were cast on his face, and his plum red eyes were big and lifeless.

I don't know whether it was dull or indifferent, when my father brought him in front of me, he slowly raised his eyes and looked at me for a few seconds.

Just a few seconds, then lowered his head again, without speaking or moving.

- is a very strange child.

That's my first impression of him.

I didn't know his identity at that time, and I didn't know why he came back with his father, but I just felt that this kid had a very special personality.

My father didn't express anything special, just looked at the child and said to me: "This child's name is Qingzhi, and Muyue is the older sister. From now on, we should get along well with Qingzhi."

When he introduced it to me, he wanted to reach out and touch the child's head, but he dodged it. The father's outstretched hand stopped in the air, and he clenched his fist and coughed in a little embarrassment.

And that boy just stood there with his head half down, as if everything had nothing to do with him.

this reaction...

If my father hadn't explained the child's life experience to me that night, I would probably have thought it was a child my father had with some woman outside.

"What are you thinking about?"

The father showed helplessness, and his expression showed pity and loss: "When I went there, this child was the only one left in Watanabe's family. If he were left there, he would definitely have difficulty living alone."

The old friend my father was going to visit this time was a senior brother who had been close to him in the gymnasium in Kyoto when he was young, but after they left the gymnasium and returned home, they gradually lost contact.

"Some time ago he sent someone to send me a letter, asking me to go to the capital to talk about the old days. I didn't expect that I was delayed due to business, and I went a few days later, and I didn't even see him for the last time..."

His father's tone was full of regret and regret.

Not only that, but he seemed to place the blame on himself again.And because of this, I thought of my mother who also passed away due to illness a few years ago.

"Then it's better for Qingzhi." I said softly to him: "My condolences are changing, my lord father."

It would be a good thing for him if his father could see more.

But if he can really see through, then I'm afraid it won't be like this now.

Because my father sighed deeply, and his sad eyes fell on me: "Muyue..."

He called my name, his eyes were extremely complicated, I knew it at a glance——

"You're thinking of your mother again, aren't you?"

When I was still young, my mother passed away due to illness. Not only that, but it was also in that year that I, who was originally healthy, suddenly became weaker and weaker.

Even today, many doctors invited by my family have exhausted various methods, but they have not been able to restore my body to health.

The ones my father invited were not limited to doctors, there were also visiting monks who said that this was probably some kind of curse, or some kind of punishment—but every time I just said these words, I sighed and shook my head , Tell my father that he has no solution.

Because this is my destiny.

But my father is an overly responsible person, so he took everything on himself. Whether it was the death of my mother or my weakness, he blamed himself for a long time.

"Muzuki, are you blaming me?"

In the days when my mother just passed away, my father asked me such questions almost every day. He always said that he failed to protect my mother well, and that what he could give me alone must not be enough.

Until I started getting sick too.

He sat by my couch and was silent for a long time.

"Sure enough... I can't take care of you at all." He said, "Whether it's your mother or you, I can't take care of anyone."

And at that point, I contradicted him.

"No." I looked at his face and said to him: "Whether it's mother or me, you have done enough for us and given us enough love, so you don't have to blame yourself for it. "

And I also felt from the bottom of my heart that whether it was my mother's death or my illness, I just had to let nature take its course.

"It's fate, it's no one's fault."

As the father of Nanmachi, he usually has a lot of government affairs to deal with, but he will take time to go home and have dinner with my mother every day, and will take us out to enjoy the cherry blossoms when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and spend as much time as possible to take care of him. with us.

I always remember that when I was young, when I went out to enjoy flowers with my parents, my father held me in his arms, and my mother looked at us with a gentle smile...

Together with that memory, it has a light and soft floral fragrance.

"You've done well enough."

I say.

"So, stop blaming yourself."

The child named Qingzhi was placed near my residence.

As a samurai of the banner, my father has a thousand stones to eat, but I am very frugal on weekdays, because the more expenses in the family are all because of me.

If it weren't for my father's rich food, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to use those expensive medicinal materials—it's a pity that the taste of the medicinal juice won't be easy to drink because of its expense.

But I have long been used to it, so it doesn't matter if it is bitter.

Although I have long been used to these tastes, my father still prepared Jinpingtang at home, and would take out a piece or two every time he took the medicine, hoping that this would make me feel better.

At first, I thought it would make no difference whether there was Jinpingtang or not. I even said that it would be better not to eat this kind of food - after all, it is an imported product, and it is expensive, so it would be better to save it for other expenses.

But seeing the expression on my father's face as he handed me the wrapped Jinpingtang, I changed my mind.

If it makes him feel better, it's better to be prepared.

It has been a few days since Qing Zhi came to our house, and it is clear that our residences are very close to each other—because my father thinks that we are in the same grade, which may make it easier for him to accept.But he seemed like he didn't want to interact with me at all, and I didn't see him a few times at all.

Especially during the day, Qingzhi's room was always tightly closed, as if there was some scourge outside that would eat him up.

Even breakfast and lunch are delivered to his room by the maids, but they don’t stay there for a moment—according to my personal maid, the maids who deliver meals to Qingzhi say that no matter what they say, Qingzhi Never respond to them half a sentence.

"Is it because there is something unspeakable?"

I held my chin and thought, maybe it's because of what happened to him before, so he became this kind of character?

Random guesses are not likely to be right, I'm actually pretty good at reading other people's inner thoughts, whether they're happy or sad, I can empathize with their thoughts.

For example, the maid's envy and sympathy for me, my father's lingering self-blame, and even those people I met for the first time, I can feel their feelings.

However, there is one exception.

This is the first time I have encountered such a situation so far, so when I first saw him, I thought he was a strange child.

Only the boy named Qingzhi, I can't see through his thoughts, nor can I read his mood.

—Maybe it’s because we rarely meet each other.

I convinced myself with this statement, and when the sun almost completely set in the evening, I saw Qing Zhi who finally opened the door.

I was standing on the porch at the door of my room, ready to go to the hall.Qingzhi would go out to eat with us only at dinner time.

When he eats, his movements are extremely elegant, and every move reveals dignity. From this, it can be known that at least he has not been abused to become his current personality.

Since his father has decided to treat him like his own child, he will naturally not force him to do things he doesn't want to do. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want to go out during the day or he doesn't like talking.

What's more, these actions only make people feel that his personality is a bit weird, and it will not affect other people.

So after dinner, when my father went back to the study to deal with unfinished business, I asked Qingzhi if he would like to walk around the yard with me.

He looked up at me and said nothing.

But unlike usual, he didn't go back to his room alone after dinner.

I stood up, "shall we go then?"

I didn't nod or shake my head, let alone speak, but when I slowed down, the black-haired boy also walked slowly beside me.

This time he didn't lower his head as he did when we first met, and I was able to see his appearance more carefully. The young boy has handsome features, and it seems that he can vaguely see his handsome face when he grows up.

I couldn't help but smiled, only to find that the child kept raising his head slightly, staring at me intently, and there seemed to be a little more brilliance in those plum red eyes.