The honest person is you

-14-

As the breeze blew by, the light and shadow of the cherry blossom branches fell on Abe Seimei's wide kimono, swaying slightly.

As you talked, you talked about "curse" again.

Abe Seimei said that the mantra is the support of all things in the world. Through the mantra, even the moon in the sky can be given as a gift.

"Have you sent it?" you asked him.

"No," Abe Qingming said, "but if you want..."

He might say that if you want it, he can give it to you too.

However, you have no interest in the moon in the sky.

There is a faint smile on the corner of Abe Seimei's mouth, which is the expression you like to see the most.

But you also know that whenever you stare at him blankly, he can also sense that you are looking through him to see other things.

The love affair with that person seems to have become the whole of your life, so you forget yourself, and you can't let go even after his death.

Abe Seimei has a panoramic view of everything, and he also thought about what he would do for you.

You are enjoying the scenery of cherry blossoms in full bloom in the garden. This kind of flowers blooming and falling, blooming a short-term sad beauty, just like your fleeting sad love.

The time you met and fell in love with that person changed you too completely.

Abe Seimei said that people are always easily influenced by others, so they change, but it is difficult to be themselves again.You take this very seriously, but even knowing it clearly can't have much impact on the facts you face.

You leaned against Abe Seimei, resting your head on his shoulder, as if you were leaning on him with the weight of your whole body.

The faint smell of alcohol was lingering in the sunlight, Abe Seimei was silent for a while, and suddenly told you, don't trust the men in Heian-kyo easily.

You raised your face, but you didn't move your head away, but changed your posture, resting your chin on his shoulder and asking him why.

"Because they've always been good at deceiving people."

Abe Seimei said that their love is as short and illusory as morning fog, as if even a breeze can blow it away.

He has seen too many curses and evil spirits, men and women, love and hate intertwined, entangled.

"how about you?"

You raised your hand, and your white and beautiful fingers gently stroked his cheek and chin, and you asked him if he was as good at deceiving people as those men.

"Are you lying to me too?"

You who ask such words on your mouth actually know better than anyone else.Leaving aside whether Abe Seimei cheated you or not, it is an indisputable fact that you cheated him.

You're not looking at him when you look into his face, you're not talking to him when you ask him to talk to you, you're just looking through him at the past to make your unreal dreams a little more real.

Abe Qingming stared at you intently, his expression was so calm, it made you retreat.

As time goes by, Abe Seimei, whose biological mother is rumored to be a white fox, is also experiencing life, old age, sickness and death just like ordinary people.

You, aware that he is also starting to age, ask him if he wants to pursue immortality.

"Just like you?"

He caresses your cheek lightly, the way you are now when he first saw you decades ago.

Abe Seimei asked you if this is also a "curse".

You shook your head: "This is the Tao"

This is the truth of the way of immortality, which flows down from the end of the "becoming immortal" that all ascetics long for, and comes from the favor of "Tao".

"Curse" cannot reverse life and death, but "Tao" can change destiny.

Abe Seimei hopes that you can be yourself and find your own "Tao".

Tears flow down your cheeks, their source being that unquenchable love in your breast.

You broke down in tears: "I can't do it..."

You can't forget that person, you can't get rid of that "relationship".

……

……

Aging means that death is approaching, but Abe Seimei is not afraid.

This reminds you of the two-faced Su Nuo after a long absence, and you think of his indifference in the face of his own aging.

"why?"

Abe Seimei and Two-faced Su Nuo are completely different existences, but they also showed similar attitudes when facing aging and death.

You just feel incomprehensible.

The cherry blossoms in the garden bloom every year, briefly bloom and then die.Abe Seimei said that this is equivalent to the world.

There are always countless regrets in life, but these regrets are not the obsession to prolong life, but the courage needed to face aging and death.

You shook Seimei Abe's hand, and what he said disturbed you.

It's just like that time - that person is lying in your arms, his body is like a dead plant.

You try to hold on to him, but he walks away from you, even dying with that curse.You don't want to believe that he doesn't love you anymore, but the facts tell you that your love has always been the same.

That's why that "love affair" will reappear in his descendants. Their love for you is the reproduction of his love for you.

"Seimei..."

You grabbed Qingming's hand and suddenly realized what he meant by "regret" to you.

Because he was too old to die.

Abe Seimei never said he loved you when you were sober, and you also never asked him when you were sober.But he also looked at you with gentle eyes countless times.

You sit squatting on the veranda, Seimei's head rests on your lap, he takes a nap with his eyes closed, the sunlight slantly passes through the eaves, and falls finely on the floor.

At this moment, you are stroking his hair, you are very sober, suddenly ask him if he loves you.

Abe Seimei did not speak.

He was as quiet as a dead tree.

……

……

You never imagined how to say goodbye to Abe Seimei, but when the day of his death came, you felt unreal.

He speaks mantras and cherry blossoms with you, he is with you on the porch, the sun falls on you...

Then, his life also came to an end.

When the two-faced Su Nuo died, you only felt angry.The anger at him for not wanting to fulfill you in the end made you curse viciously that he would not be at peace even after death.

But when you realize that Abe Seimei is also dead, you just feel a little dazed.

There may also be brief moments, when your consciousness is in the gap between chaos and lucidity, when you actually hear his voice.

—That's what he's confide in you.

……

……

After Abe Seimei died, the Ka Mo family welcomed you back.

Those who witnessed your marriage with that person in the past have all died in the torrent of time.Among this prominent family of Onmyoji, your existence is so special.

The men and women of the Kamo family... all the descendants with that blood flowing in their bodies are all in love with you like crazy.

They built a garden for you in the center of the Kamo family's mansion, and found countless raw materials for you to cultivate "flowers".

But even in this mansion, no one knows your real name.

They call you "Lady" or "Ancestor", and every head of the family will be sent to you. Sometimes you will glance at it, and sometimes you won't even look at it.

Countless faces flash in front of you, and the short lives of ordinary people are but a blink of an eye to you, so you can't remember their names, let alone their faces.

That cursed love affair made the entire He Mao family belong to you.

In this way, it continued until the Edo period, and the Kamo family changed its name to the Kamo family.When the current Patriarch came to ask you for instructions, your eyes stayed on him for a moment longer.

He was ecstatic because of this, and countless words poured out of his mouth, expressing his love for you.

But you just raised your face indifferently, staring at the cherry tree in the garden.

Hundreds of years ago, Tian Yuan came to you once, and he almost turned into a tree—he was about to die.

Tianyuan, who didn't want to die like this, begged you to help him, so you told him a way.

By assimilating with the "star plasma body" with a special constitution, you can absorb more "Tao" to prolong your own lifespan.

But that is also not a perfect longevity, and it is impossible to truly achieve eternal immortality.

The truth of immortality, the ultimate destination, is to become immortal.

But neither you nor Tian Yuan can reach that end point.

Tian Yuan, who was able to prolong his life after assimilating with the astral body, began to cooperate with the conjurer families, using his own power to create "enchantments" for them.