The honest person is you

-01-

Everything in this world is a "curse".

The "mantra" comes from the original mind, and all tangible or intangible things have their "name" in a certain realm.

When you married the magician who picked you up, you made a "curse" to each other to love each other forever.

The name of this feeling is "being in love".

The person you are in love with has a pale and sickly face, and his body is extremely weak after being bedridden all year round, but his eyes are narrow and beautiful like a fox.

When he looks at you with gentle eyes, you can always feel his love for you very clearly.

But now, these eyes are still looking at you so tenderly, and there is still a gentle light in them.

—even though he was dying.

His body was so weak that he was dying.

From the moment you met him, you had already predicted his ending, but even so, it was difficult for you to accept the established fate. You remembered that you followed the master into the sea to seek immortality in the past, just to get rid of your own fate of premature death.

So you started practicing Taoism in Penglai, and it has been more than 1000 years.

You can overcome your own death, but you can't change the life of others. Birth, old age, sickness and death are normal in the world, and not everyone is as favored as you.

"Don't die..." You almost begged him so that your voice trembled.

"Do not do this to me……"

Seeing his eyelids gradually closing, you held his hand tightly, and the curved knuckles even turned white.

You exhausted all your strength, as if you could grab his soul under the flesh and blood—you wanted to keep him in this world no matter what.

You once entangled your body with love at night when you fell asleep, he tied a strand of his hair with yours, and whispered in your ear that he wanted to grow old with you.

He stroked your cheek and said to you that someone once told him that there is a ritual in your hometown where married men and women will cut off strands of each other's hair and tie them together to express eternal unity.

You have been away from your homeland for thousands of years, and the time when you practiced Taoism in Penglai, which is isolated from the world, is illusory.Times change and stars change, and dynasties change. Even the envoys sent to Tang Dynasty who have been there can't understand what you mean by "Xianyang".

"Xianyang" is the place where you were born, but its current name is "Weicheng".

Therefore, you only know that you have never heard this kind of statement, and you don't know who he heard it from.

He stopped talking, just smiled and kissed your forehead, and gently stroked your hair.

Looking back at this moment, you suddenly feel a little regretful, regretting answering him like that at the beginning.Because in the bottom of your heart, you are also looking forward to "getting hair and growing old" with him.

But a person's life and death will not be changed because of your thoughts, and your retention will not be able to stop his rapidly passing life for a moment.

He stretched out his hand—you remember, it was he who stretched out his hand to you in the first place, and the shapely hand gently grasped your wet fingers.

You remember that touch to this day.

The icy river water took away the warmth of your body, and you shivered a little in the night wind, while his touch was as light and illusory as a cloud.

However, these hands, which have become more and more skinny due to illness, are no longer as white and beautiful as when you first met.

Like a rotten tree that is about to fall, it glows with a short life at the last moment. He gently caressed your cheek with his fingers like dead branches, and your tears soaked his palm like this.

You put your face against the palm of his hand, the bony phalanges protruding from the overly thin palm, which is far from the touch in your memory.

Because he was going to die soon.

His face, palm and words are all reminding you of this cruel fact.

You clenched his fingers tightly, tears streaming down your face, you begged him not to leave you, but it didn't help.

Just before he died, he said to you——

"My descendants will continue to love you instead of me."

But that's not what you want to hear.

You have heard the warlocks here say that people with extremely persistent wishes will turn into resentful spirits even after death, to continue the thoughts that could not be realized in life.

That's why the born Ji Jun wept in a low voice at night, and the extremely miserable dream stopped on Suzaku Avenue.A woman riding an ox cart turned into a prajna and drove to Neijing in the miasma, trying to send gentian and waka to her lover who had failed her.

You asked him then if he would change his mind one day.

So he made a promise with you, and agreed with you that he would love each other forever.

He said to you, "I will always love you."

But now, before he died, he gave up the friendship he fell in love with you, as if he no longer had any nostalgia for you or the world.

In this way, he cut off the last connection between you, and this sentence replaced his vow of "I will always love you" like a curse.

How could he treat you like this...

I don't know whether it's anger or sorrow, but your face is almost distorted like a ghost at this moment.

……

……

Because you were too young when you left home, and because of the long years that have passed, your memory of your homeland has long been blurred.

In the time when you were born, that was more than 1000 years ago.At that time, a alchemist wrote a letter to the first emperor, saying that there were three mountains of gods in the sea, so that thousands of virgins and boys would go to the sea to seek immortals.

——That is the master, Xu Fu.

The fleet led by the master found the holy mountain in the sea, which was an isolated island.The outermost is "Yingzhou", the middle part is called "Fangzhang", and the island in the center, which is shrouded in mist, is "Penglai".People outside will be blocked by the complicated trees and forests in Yingzhou, and those who are not talented in the fleet will be left behind in the abbot, and only a few people will actually enter Penglai.

You devoted yourself to following your master and practicing Taoism on Penglai Island for thousands of years, until one day, a secret was accidentally revealed to you.

The master's wife, Mrs. Bian, was actually using living people on the island to make alchemy.

Some of those people are the virgin boys and girls who went to sea with you back then, and some are their descendants.Because not everyone's physique is suitable for cultivating Taoism, and not all people who are suitable for cultivating Taoism are as talented as you are, so the virgins and girls brought by the master at the beginning have become less and less in the past 1000 years.

The master once taught you in his lectures that birth, old age, sickness and death are human nature, and that cultivating the Tao is to follow the destiny, and life and death are actually one of the forms of "Tao".

At that time, you were extremely convinced by the words of the master, so you were unmoved by the aging and death of other people around you. There was no foreign object in your eyes, only the endless "Tao" between heaven and earth.Therefore, the master once said to you that you are the most gifted child he has ever seen.

In other words, he believes that among all the monks in Penglai, only you are the most likely to become a true immortal.

Because the master has placed great expectations on you, you yourself have great faith, but since he decided to retreat and study more than 100 years ago, you have never seen him again.

You accidentally discovered Mrs. Bian's secret, so you want to tell the master about it.From your point of view, Grandmaster is a person who firmly believes in the truth of immortality, and he will certainly not tolerate such a thing by Mrs. Bian.

Taoism believes that there are "three corpses" in the human body, that is, three kinds of evil desires. If you cut off the "three corpses", you can be calm and desireless, and you can become a fairy.In addition to cultivating Taoism, this goal can also be achieved by taking "Dan".

However, ordinary "Dan" does not use living people as the source of materials.

Trying to use this way of harming others to refine the elixir and use it to reverse the life and death of people... This is against the way of immortality.

However, after you sneaked into the master's retreat, you discovered an even more terrifying reality.The master in the temple has become a "tree".

A cultivator will return to the original form of life when he is about to die, which is the posture of a tree. After that, the "qi" in the body will also dissipate and merge into the space between heaven and earth.

The Grandmaster is dead.

His body is still intact because Mrs. Bian used a special method to transform it into a metal state to maintain the integrity of the body.And according to your judgment, it has been at least a hundred years since Grandmaster died.That is to say, in fact, the master did not conduct retreat studies from the very beginning, and he died quietly a hundred years ago.

You immediately understand that there is no one in Penglai who can stop Mrs. Bian.In order not to let yourself become a material for alchemy, you stole the secret scroll left by the master, jumped into the river leading to the outside at night and escaped.

……

……

The river is icy cold, almost taking away all your body temperature, and when you touch the land again, you almost cry because of it.

This is the first time you have fallen into such a predicament since you started cultivating the Tao.You were once the most talented disciple in the eyes of the master, and also the most likely ascetic in Penglai to become an immortal.

The master even thinks that you have achieved "spiritual tranquility and sexual clarity", so you are very close to the truth of immortality.

However, it is only now that you understand that it is only because Penglai, which is separated from the outside world, is too peaceful, so "ignorance", "greed" and "anger" seem to have been completely separated from you.

The outside world is completely different from Penglai.

You fell in love at first sight with that man who saw your most embarrassing face but still had a gentle expression.

So you married him.Even if at first you don't even understand the language of their place.

Now is the Heian era, more than 1000 years after the era of your birth, and here is another country thousands of miles away from your homeland.

When you know nothing about everything here, his appearance is simply a life-saving straw for you.

He taught you the language here, listened to you talk to him about your past, you have never met anyone like him in the past 1000 years.

When he held your hand that day and poured out his feelings to you, you also looked deeply into his eyes and made a vow to him that you would always love him.

You say, "I'd do anything for you."

You are willing to do anything for him, including trying every means to resurrect him after he dies.