the girl i had a crush on

During that time, I wondered whether I was a pervert all day long. I was in panic all day long, and I couldn't concentrate in class, and my grades dropped very quickly.

I still remember that there are 64 students in our class. During the entrance examination, my grades were ranked 17th, and I was still counted as the upper middle. By the end of the mid-term exam, I had dropped to 46th. When the parent meeting was held, my dad took my embarrassing The grade slips cannot hold their heads up among the parents.

Chen Jinliang and I haven't spoken a word for a long time.

During this period, I did something out of the ordinary: I went to an Internet cafe with the pocket money my parents saved me from between my teeth. I still remember my first search term on the Internet: "Can homosexuality be cured?"

The result is hopeless. The Internet says that homosexuality is not a disease and cannot be cured.

I'm very puzzled, isn't it considered a disease for a woman to like a woman?Why can't it be cured?I didn't even dare to tell my parents, for fear that they would know my abnormality.

I was not reconciled, so I went to the Internet cafe for several days in a row, trying to find out how to cure the disease of homosexuality, but unfortunately my dad caught me.

When I came out of the Internet cafe wearing my school uniform and carrying a schoolbag, I saw my dad blocking the door aggressively. I was startled. When my dad got angry, he suppressed his temper and said only two words: "Go home!"

I was waiting for a beating, but my dad didn't beat me. The air pressure at the dinner table was very low that day. After dinner, my mom went to wash the dishes, and my dad had a long talk with me, asking me if my grades fell because I was infatuated with him. video game.

I had a sore nose, suddenly felt aggrieved, and started crying.

How should I say it?Could it be that his daughter is a pervert to him?I couldn't say it, I could only cry and swear to him, saying that I would never go to an Internet cafe again.

He didn't say anything, just smoked and sighed. He had just returned from scraping cement at the construction site, and his nails were black.

I feel very sorry for him, and also for my mother.

After being caught from the Internet cafe, my dad started to take me to and from school. His motorcycle was waiting for me at the school gate every day after school to ensure that I didn’t have the chance to fool around in the Internet cafe.

In 2007, there were not as many people who could afford a car, but Nancheng No. 14 Middle School was the best middle school in the city, and there were many children from rich families. Generally, parents used cars to pick up and drop off their children. Only my dad’s motorcycle was parked at the school gate, on the hem of his trousers. There are also traces of cement mortar, and I am out of place among a group of beautiful cars. I feel ashamed. I am afraid that my classmates will see my dad driving a broken motorcycle. Or be the last one to leave the classroom, and come out slowly after everyone in the school is gone.

It was also from then on that I developed the habit of hating rainy days.

Sitting on the motorcycle, not sheltered from the wind or rain, the legs of the trousers were a lot wet, and the raindrops hit the face bitterly, and the whole day, the body was cold.

I don't want others to know that my dad came to pick me up from school on a motorcycle, especially Chen Jinliang, but she still knows.

After school that day, I dawdled in the classroom until everyone had left before I left. Unexpectedly, I ran into Chen Jinliang at the school gate. I was sitting on the back seat of the motorcycle wearing a helmet. I was afraid that people would see me and urged my dad to leave quickly. The old motorcycle bought second-hand suddenly gave up, and it couldn’t start. My dad tried hard to step on the pedals, and the sweat came out on his forehead. I complained loudly to him impatiently in the back seat. Chen Jinliang bumped into each other.

For a moment, I felt ashamed of being exposed in public, and I didn't dare to look at Chen Jinliang, so I could only loudly blame my father for being useless, buying a broken motorcycle that couldn't even start the fire.

How naive I was at that time, I felt that as long as I complained loudly to my father, I could reduce my inferiority complex and embarrassment in front of Chen Jinliang.