Spring is coming

"Then I'll go?"

"Let's go."

Xueli walked out of the room, holding the cup in her left hand and the doorknob in her right hand, tapping lightly with her fingertips, "I'm really leaving."

Chun Xin opened his lips, hesitated for two or three seconds, and then thought that this man had neglected her for 24 hours and was still unwilling, so he decided to show her some color.

"Let's go, why don't you miss me?"

"Ok."

Xueli went back to the guest bedroom and lay on the bed. Sure enough, within half a minute, she heard the rustling sound of the duvet in the opposite bedroom.

Chun Xin crossed his arms, walked slowly into the room, and snorted coldly, "Why don't you close the door? This time, continue to lock the door."

Xue Li smiled without saying a word.

She was like a leader inspecting, "There is no air conditioner, no hot water bottle, no blanket... nothing, how pitiful."

Xueli is very cooperative, like a cadre secretary in a township, "The conditions are a little rough, but they will get better in the future."

"How did you get better?" Chun Xin asked.

Xueli said, "Bring the things in that room over here."

"Ha! You have a good idea!"

It's really indestructible, let her fend for herself!Chun Xin stormed away.

After 2 minutes, she came out of the bathroom and found that the door of the second bedroom was closed. She couldn't help but let out a "huh" and opened the door to see that there was no one inside.

"You are such a thief!" Chun Xin yelled, "You are such a big rat! You are sneaky in everything you do."

Xueli had settled herself down a long time ago, lying on the bed in the bedroom with a smile on her face, glasses, books, water cups, and chargers were placed on the bedside table.

Xueli said: "I'm afraid you will get sick at night, I will go back tomorrow after watching you."

"I don't like you watching."

However, after lying on the bed for 2 minutes, Chun Xin couldn't help sticking to it again, "I really hate you, why did you treat me like that."

She climbed onto the snow on all fours, like a frog, her legs clamped on the outside of her thighs, her arms wrapped around her neck, her head rested in the hollow of her shoulders, and the tip of her nose gently rubbed the warm skin of her neck.

Needless to say so clearly, just a look, a gesture, a movement, you can understand.

Chun Xin lay quietly in her arms, blinking his eyelashes slowly, tears streaming down his face.

She was too thin, with ribs on her chest, and her body and hair were so soft, Xueli felt like hugging a weak kitten, with her hands resting on her back, smoothing every now and then.

It's like this, it's an unweaned kitten with long and short fur on its body, its eyes are ignorant, and it's always curious to sniff here and there.When it feels threatened, it stands on its two hind legs, raises its front paws high, and will slap people fiercely.

If you must hold it and touch it, it actually has no ability to resist. The small mouth with half-teeth does not have the ability to bite through human fingers, and the sharp claws in the flesh pad have no deterrent effect.

——Why did you treat me like that, why did you abandon me, why did you neglect me.

Her questioning, her grievance, her helplessness, and her love are all in tears.

Why do you need to say more, just have a good cry.

But it still seemed to be a little strange, she was a little more cautious, and when she dazedly kissed the corner of her lips, she suddenly woke up, slowly raised her upper body, wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, drooped her eyelashes, and closed her eyes In the scorching heat, I slowly returned to my position and lay down.

The softness in her arms was pulled away, the solid weight in her chest disappeared, Xueli stretched out in vain to hold her back, there was a faint pain in her heart, and it continued to spread to her limbs, as if being lingering.

She said that she was young and ignorant, how much was true and how much was false, or was it a kind of self-protection?Hide love and unwillingness under jokes.

——I like you, it's my business, I hope you don't feel troubled by it, it doesn't matter if you don't like me, we can still be like before.

——Why tell you that I like you while saying that I don't want to disturb you.Maybe it's a fluke, what if you like me too?

The calm restraint of an adult may be interpreted as a tactful rejection. In terms of feelings, Yuri is not good at expressing, and she always messes up everything.

She really didn't know what to say, and now didn't seem to be the right time. If she could show her heart without any scruples like Chun Xin, the relationship between them would be much easier.

She has always understood that the feelings between girls are not different in this world, and all external forces are not enough to be a hindrance. She just can't face herself squarely, and she is simply ashamed to express her liking.

It’s not that if you live a long time and experience a lot, you must be omnipotent. Many people are still mediocre and confused after entering middle age. They know a lot of truths and can’t arrange themselves well. They know how many problems are waiting to be solved, or choose to escape .

Adults are not synonymous with perfection, otherwise why use the law as the minimum standard to restrain people.

In this short period of repeated childhood and youth experience, in the ten years after Chunxin left, Xueli had stopped growing inside.She is still clumsy when it comes to emotional problems, and she has no chance to exercise.

There is no difference between men and women, they are not Chun Xin.

But from this moment on, she broke through the seal and regained her life.

Start all over and explore on your own.

Her cheeks were sorely stained with tears, and the skin on her nose seemed to be scratched, but Chun Xin didn't care about it, she was already very tired.

She had never felt so sleepy, like a missing soul finally returned to her body, she just wanted to sleep hard, but at this moment Xueli shook her shoulders behind her, "Talk to me, talk to me. "

"Prefer not to say."

"what happened?"

Xueli leaned over to look at her face, got out of bed and went to the bathroom to twist a hot towel, came back and squatted beside the bed to wipe it gently, her eyelashes fluttered slightly, she still didn't open her eyes, she just lifted her chin to cooperate to expose her face.

After wiping off her face, she dug some face cream out of the snow and spread it on her, saying in a low voice, "This way my face won't get skinny tomorrow."

Chun Xin let out an "um" in his throat, delicate and pitiful.

Chun Xin is really beautiful, with a delicate and lovely appearance, thick black eyebrows, but a very delicate shape, never trimmed much, and the small fluff around it grows in a messy and orderly manner.

The hair is thick, so the eyelashes are curled up, the tails of the eyes are flying, the bridge of the nose is not high, the shape is beautiful, and the nose is round and small.Of course, Xueli's favorite is her lips, that small, pouty lip bead must taste good when smacked.

Xueli thought wildly, why not make an exception so that she can feel at ease.Language is somewhat deceptive, no matter how much you say it, it is better to do it once.

Then give it a little kiss.

Just click on it.

She had never done this kind of thing before, and Xueli was very nervous. It seemed that her mouth was no longer a mouth, but two sheets of iron.She abruptly adjusted the curved shape of the two iron sheets, and when she was thinking about which angle to speak from, Chun Xin suddenly opened his eyes and shouted shamelessly, "What are you doing! You want to moleste me!"

Xueli panicked and raised her hands to cover her face, closing her eyes.

She took advantage of the victory and pursued, "Hmph, I really didn't wrong you by saying that you are a big rat."

Xueli was ashamed and angry, but helpless.

unacceptable!

The cub held grudges very much, "Go away quickly, I'm not ashamed to be so grown-up." Then he snorted, turned his back on her, "I'll talk about it tomorrow, I'm really going to sleep."

After a long time, after a very light sigh, Chun Xin heard her carefully asking in his ear: "Then you really have nothing to say to me?"

Of course, I have a stomach full of grievances and complaints, but I don’t think it’s necessary. What’s the point of talking about those things?Chun Xin doesn't like to think about unhappy things when he gets old.

But sooner or later she would have to say it, and if she didn't say it, there would always be a locked door between them.

"I don't want to talk about it now." Chun Xin replied in a muffled voice.

"Then will you tell me later?" Xueli asked.

"Wait until I'm in a good mood."

"Then when will you be in a good mood." It was almost a tone to coax a three-year-old child.

"I don't know." Chun Xin covered his head with a quilt and ignored him.

……

On Saturday and Christmas, Xueli plans to take her out to play, but recently her wallet is tight.Zhao Cheng went out to buy groceries in the morning, Jiang Mengyan was still sleeping late, Xueli went into the room, took a quick rag and pretended to wipe the glass there.

Jiang Mengyan lay on the bed and looked at her with half-opened eyes. The two children didn't know what conflicts they had recently. Looking at it now, they should have reconciled.

"What are you acting there?" Jiang Mengyan asked her.

Xueli said: "I see dust on the bay window, wipe it off."

"Your rags are dry."

Xueli took it easy, "If you wipe it wet, there will be marks, wipe it dry."

Jiang Mengyan couldn't help laughing when she heard it, she propped her palms up and leaned against the head of the bed, she couldn't close her mouth from the smile, "If you want money, just say it, what is this for?"

"Okay." Xueli stopped acting, "Mom, give me some money."

Jiang Mengyan asked: "Why do you want money?"

Xueli said, "Take Chunchun out to play."

Jiang Mengyan: "Oh, coax a woman."

Xueli: "...it's a girl."

Jiang Mengyan: "Anyway, it's the little daughter-in-law, coaxing the little daughter-in-law, isn't it?"

Xueli: "..."

Jiang Mengyan: "You said why bother, you provoked it yourself, you have to coax it yourself, if you knew this, why did you do it in the first place?"

Xueli lowered her head and pulled a thread on the rag, "Then will you give it?"

……

When she got the money, she had to ask for a derogatory meal. Her mother asked her to learn from her father how to coax women, how to be romantic, and how to do things according to women's wishes.

Xueli asked what she was doing, and Jiang Mengyan said that she had to stop and live.

Xueli still doesn't understand.

At noon, after they had dinner, they took the bus to the amusement park. On the way, Chunxin asked her, "On Christmas Eve, you said you were busy. I want to know what happened to you afterwards."

Xueli's face was a little stiff, and a shameful red began to spread from the pinnae of her ears,

"At the invitation of my classmates, I'll go and play." Xueli hesitated.

She turned her head to look at Chun Xin, she raised her eyebrows to signal to continue, as if she didn't mean to blame, did she just want to know what she did later.

So Xueli continued: "My classmate, her father runs a law firm. I thought, if there is a chance to meet seniors in the industry, I went and drank a little wine that day."

That’s when I learned how to drink. I drank in the dormitory when I was in school and went to the bar after work.The owner of the bar I frequented was a college classmate, and he got her a camp bed in the bar storage room, and when she passed out, he threw her on the bed like a broken sack to rest.

Chunxin shifted his gaze to the sycamore tree outside the window, Yuli took her hand and closed it in his palm, "Actually, I called you later, but your phone was turned off, and I don't know where you live. I want to see you Yes, but I don't know where to find you. I didn't realize until then that I didn't know your address, and I didn't know that you were so close to me, you were just behind the school..."

"I'm not quibbling..." She suddenly blushed and choked up, "I, I'm just... sorry."

Xueli, who has always been self-confident and decent, covered her face with her hands on the overcrowded bus leading to the amusement park on Christmas, suppressing and weeping.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry, I..."

She couldn't help crying, and couldn't help crying.

This was the second time Chunxin saw her cry. The first time was in the mountains. She said she didn't want to go back, no one wanted her anymore, so why go back? At that time Xueli almost knelt down and begged her.

Xueli didn't dare to let go of crying, but shed tears under the moonlight, hugged her, and said: "I want you, I want you, I will definitely find a way, I will definitely work hard this time, you believe me, if you don't give up again Trust me once..."

Then she really figured out a way.

In the past so many years, this is the second time she cried.

In Xueli's life, apart from Chunxin, nothing can touch her heart, and no amount of grief can hit her. She has already experienced the heart-wrenching despair of losing her true love.

So Xueli is indifferent, she is indifferent to everything, she is firewood wet by rain, without sun, it will never burn, and eventually rots into a bundle of rotten wood.

She is eager to embrace the sun, to be her devout believer, and to die passionately.

Two stops away from the amusement park, Chun Xin took her out of the bus and sat down on the bus stop where no one was waiting. Chun Xin took out a tissue from his bag and wiped her tears.

She couldn't stop crying and kept making vague apologies. Chun Xin hugged her, leaned the handful of soft long hair gently on his thin shoulders, and imitated her usual way to clumsily smooth her back.

"I really don't blame you." Chun Xin said in a relaxed tone, "It just feels like we were not doing well at that time. You were in school and I was in the studio. It's rare to see each other. I hope you make more friends. I'm happy every day. I'm just curious, I want to know what you're like when we're not together, I just want to know what you did, what you ate, such boring things..."

"I just want to get to know you, I don't mean to blame you." Chun Xin said.