my sick white moonlight

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As Shi Zhiqing expected, it was already May when he and Zhang Youming met again, and it was because of Shi Zhenzhu that he was hospitalized again.

This time it was more serious than the previous hospitalizations. Apart from the seriousness of the illness itself, after Shi Zhenzhu was hospitalized this time, she didn't talk to anyone.

Staring at the ceiling of the ward every day, I don’t know what I’m thinking about. As long as Shi Zhiqing is on vacation, she will stay by Shi Zhenzhu’s bed all night, telling her things about her childhood, or anecdotes in the department, and Tell her that Guo Li is already pregnant with a baby.

After hearing that Guo Li had a baby, Shi Zhuzhu turned her head to look at Shi Zhiqing, moved her lips, but still didn't say a word.

After she got sick, the only thing she said was the day Zhang Youming went to see her.

Xiaozhang is here.

When Zhang Youming came that day, it was still raining outside, he didn't have an umbrella, and when he entered the ward, he was still air-conditioned.

The bottom of the black trousers has been wet a lot, and the place where the water is soaked is an irregular arc. Because of the material of the upper body, it is not obvious that it is wet. The hair on the front was randomly grabbed by Zhang Youming, like 90s hair style sprayed with mousse.

There are still a few drops of rain on her face, her lips are pale, and she has a sickly beauty.

Shi Zhiqing stared at him who hadn't seen him for a long time, and felt that strange feeling in her heart again.

Angry and distressed.

"Aren't you cold?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

Zhang Youming shook his head, then asked softly, "What's wrong with Shi Niang?"

Shi Zhiqing took a look at Shi Zhuzhu, pulled Zhang Youming's forearm and walked out, saying, "Go out and talk. Hey, why don't you change your clothes first, what's wrong, why don't you take an umbrella when it's raining outside?"

"No, I'm used to it." Zhang Youming said softly.

He likes to get in the rain very much, Shi Zhiqing knows this since he was a child, but when he was in good health when he was in school, he let it go.

People who are all 28 and [-] now, if they still come like this, it's a bit of a nonsense.

"My mother doesn't know what's on her mind, and she hasn't spoken since the day she was hospitalized." Shi Zhiqing sat on the bench, touched her trouser pocket, and wanted to smoke. "Have you got a meal yet?"

Zhang Youming shook his head.

On the way to the restaurant, Shi Zhiqing bought a pack of cigarettes along the way, and smoked directly in front of Zhang Youming. The first two puffs were a bit violent, and he choked. Zhang Youming patted him on the back lightly.

In fact, slapping the back didn't have much effect, it was useless, but it was quite effective for Shi Zhiqing, he held back and blushed.

"Who takes care of Shi Niang when you go to work?" Zhang Youming asked.

"Xifeng will come, and Xifeng will stay with her all the time, and she can talk for hours." Shi Zhiqing smiled, and used to think that helping Xifeng was futile.

Now it seems that people redeem each other.

Shi Zhenzhu helped her before, and Xifeng is the only friend accompanying Shi Zhenzhu's hospital bed now.

"Why is she acting like this all of a sudden?" Zhang Youming asked.

In everyone's eyes, Shi Zhenzhu is a very positive and optimistic person, with a smile on his face all the time, it is really puzzling that he is suddenly like this now.

According to Dr. An's speculation, Shi Zhenzhu had something on his mind.

Shi Zhiqing's first reaction was whether she knew that she liked Zhang Youming, but when she thought about it carefully, her things were well packed, and Chen Yan would not even take the initiative to tell Shi Zhenzhu.

After getting rid of it, he really couldn't think of what Shi Zhenzhu would have. When her father passed away, she didn't shed tears.

"I don't know, I thought I knew her well enough, but now it seems that I'm all self-righteous." Shi Zhiqing laughed at herself.

"No one can fully understand another person." Zhang Youming said.

That's the reason, but Shi Zhiqing thinks that there is no need for those closest people to have secrets that can easily cause estrangement.

Obviously, Pearl Stone has a secret.

Shi Zhiqing also knows that people can't selfishly want to know other people's secrets, even though that person is your mother, how can Shi Zhenzhu's behavior now not be called selfish?

The closest people are the ones who bring the most pain.

Shi Zhiqing was indeed in extreme pain, she didn't know when such a day would end, and the person in the hospital bed always had the greatest choice.

Shi Zhiqing didn't know what to do, he couldn't complain because it was his mother.

But he wants to complain again, but after complaining, he will fall into deep self-blame again. This is how the vicious circle comes.

Always wears people down easily.

Right now, Shi Zhiqing really wants to have a good night's sleep, watch funny talk shows, and laugh out loud.

Can't do anything.

After arriving at the restaurant, Shi Zhiqing ordered chicken offal with pickled peppers, and specially asked the boss to add more peppers. After eating two big bowls of rice, she hasn't eaten well recently.

Zhang Youming didn't move his chopsticks much, he kept staring at Shi Zhiqing as if he couldn't see enough.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

What's so good about eating with such a big mouth?

"Not hungry."

"Oh, so why are you staring at me all the time?" Shi Zhiqing finished the last bit of rice in the bowl, put down her chopsticks, tilted her head slightly, and tried to get an answer from Zhang Youming.

Shi Zhiqing finally understood that in this situation, it is best to be by her side.

No matter how bad Zhang Youming is when he treats his feelings, he is the only one who is by his side at a time like this.

Guo Li has her own family, and the focus of her life is on the family. Even if she has something to say, she can only talk about it on WeChat. Sometimes she may not be able to catch up with her. I don't send messages much anymore.

As for Chen Yandu, Shi Zhiqing hasn't contacted Chen Yandu for a long time. The most recent call was from Chen Yandu's "new friend", and Chen Yandu snatched him to answer it. He kept explaining , Shi Zhiqing said that he believed him unconditionally, but in fact, he had already put an end to this relationship.

You see, other people only appeared in a time node for a short time, but Zhang Youming was different. He disappeared and appeared, appeared and disappeared again, and it was as if he was by his side all the time.

Of course Zhang Youming would not answer Shi Zhiqing's question, he turned his head to look at the street, and said softly, "Are you and Chen Yan all right?"

Shi Zhiqing paused for a moment while pulling out a tissue, and asked, "Why do you care about this?"

"Has he come back?" Zhang Youming asked again.

Shi Zhiqing shook her head, and said, "Contact me by email."

Zhang Youming laughed, obviously there was no blood on his face, but it gave people the illusion of a monster.

The evil smile is very heart-catching.

Seeing his smile, Shi Zhiqing fell into a trance again.

He seems to understand the way of loving someone that Marquez described. There are a million possibilities for him to idealize Zhang Youming and pour all his beautiful emotions on him.

Zhang Youming is indeed a perfect lover.

But the premise is that Shi Zhiqing doesn't know the quagmire Zhang Youming is in.

He didn't know how many nights Zhang Youming went crazy because of his disabled body.

He also didn't know Zhang Youming's morbid desires that had been reversing after he fell into the dust.

"What are you laughing at?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

"Laugh at myself."