my sick white moonlight

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Shi Zhiqing was really stunned by the voice, he thought Zhang Youming was going crazy.

"I don't plan anything. With your body, it shouldn't be a big problem if you get knocked against the corner of the table. If you really feel uncomfortable, go see a doctor tomorrow." Shi Zhiqing got up after finishing speaking, not intending to confront Zhang Youming Wire.

He was afraid that when Zhang Youming took off his pants, his uncontrollable desire for prying would come out, and he couldn't help but glance at places he shouldn't be looking at. Zhang Youming's thing was extremely advantageous and attractive.

"Also, don't call me brother, call me by my name." Shi Zhiqing only liked Zhang Youming calling him by his name.

From the eyes of others, it is unfamiliar, but it has a different meaning to Shi Zhiqing.

"Aren't you my brother? You are one year older than me, so I should call you brother. Shi Niang also said that you are older than me, so you have to take care of me."

"That's right, I'm older than you, so I should be your brother, okay, I'll be your brother from now on." Shi Zhiqing was a little discouraged.

Knowing that he had that kind of thought about him, Zhang Youming called him brother on purpose.

Things really didn't develop according to what he wanted. He was so hesitant to break up with Chen Yan, and he also had selfishness in it. After he found that he and Chen Yan were together, Zhang Youming's attitude changed drastically.

At that moment, he was thinking, if he broke up with Chen Yan, would Zhang Youming be the same as before?

It's so annoying, before Shi Zhiqing didn't understand how someone could be trapped by love, love is love, not love is not love.

Now it seems that it is far from that simple, and the complexity and contradictions in it cannot be explained clearly with just a few words.

"You don't want to, I just don't call you." Zhang Youming said again, he wanted to make Shi Zhiqing laugh, and make him happy.

But really no talent.

"How long do you want to live?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

Zhang Youming felt guilty at this time, looked away, and said softly: "Not sure. Are you going to drive me away?"

There is no talent in being funny, but Zhang Youming is really good at revealing vulnerability.

He was downcast, and seemed to be saddened by what was to come.

"I'm just asking."

"What did I call you before?" Zhang Youming brought back the original topic, he rarely brought up the past on his own initiative.

Of course, he can't guarantee how many accurate memories of the past.

Shi Zhiqing was still depressed at first, so he glanced at Zhang Youming to make sure that Zhang Youming was not playing a prank, so he thought about it seriously, it seems that since then, Zhang Youming has never seriously called his brother.

"You always call me by my name. Sometimes you play tricks and call me Shitou." Shi Zhiqing said softly.

Sitting together at night and recalling the past, there will be a lot of emotion, but I still can't find the right adjective.

"I never thought of you as my brother."

"It wasn't originally." Shi Zhiqing rushed to say, he was afraid that Zhang Youming would say something hurtful.

Shi Zhiqing is like this, he is a little glass-hearted as others say, he is used to choosing to escape.

Before he knew it, there was already a strong wind blowing outside, Shi Zhiqing got up and pushed open the window, and saw Shi Zhenzhu collecting clothes underneath.

"I might have..."

Before Zhang Youming finished speaking, Shi Zhiqing closed the window, and there was a sound from the window, coupled with the whistling wind outside, Shi Zhiqing might not have noticed that Zhang Youming was talking.

"What did you just say? Hey, I'll go down to collect my clothes first. It's going to rain. Put on your pants. Let's put on a thick quilt tonight."

Looking at Shi Zhiqing's hasty pace, Zhang Youming thought, he almost said it just now.

I almost told Shi Zhiqing that I might have liked you back then.

To some extent, Zhang Youming doesn't know how to love.

He felt that he had never liked anyone, but at least he could feel that from then on, he treated Shi Zhiqing differently.

Not just friends, not just playmates.

When Shi Zhiqing came up, it was already raining heavily outside, and the black girl seemed to be frightened, so she also ran up and burrowed into Zhang Youming's arms.

"Are you still going back to your room?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

"I want to sleep with you."

Shi Zhiqing acquiesced, as long as she thought about the past, Shi Zhiqing would be extra tolerant towards Zhang Youming.

After lying on the bed, Shi Zhiqing remembered what Zhang Youming had said at that time. "What were you going to say when I went downstairs?"

Zhang Youming was silent for two seconds and said, "I forgot."

Shi Zhiqing didn't ask further, he listened to the sound of rain outside and thought to himself, this short half of his life has just passed by like this.

To this day, Shi Zhiqing doesn't know what he is obsessed with, he can't even figure out whether he really likes Zhang Youming, or the abstract "Zhang Youming" that he derived from his fantasy.

What did Zhang Youming think?If he is the kind of person who is irresponsible for feelings, then he has never seen him get together with other people, and Shi Zhiqing can't even name a person Zhang Youming has personally admitted to liking.

"Hey, are you asleep?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

"No."

"You said before that you have someone you like, can you tell me who it is?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

In fact, he also thought about whether it might be him, but Zhang Youming's indifference at that time made him dispel this idea.

"No." Zhang Youming said firmly.

Shi Zhiqing moved a bit, propped up half of her body and wanted to turn over, but when she turned her head, she realized that Zhang Youming was facing him.

He always thought that the two were back to back.

After the two looked at each other, Shi Zhiqing paused for two seconds, planning to keep her back to Zhang Youming.

"Don't turn around."

Shi Zhiqing didn't listen, since the two of them faced each other, there were many unknown things.

Zhang Youming hugged Shi Zhiqing from behind, and said softly: "The night we watched the starry sky in Shigatse, you also kept your back to me."

"Is there?" Shi Zhiqing thought about it carefully, after returning to the tent that night, he fell asleep very quickly, and didn't remember it at all.

"Actually, you can't remember many important things, can you?" Zhang Youming said again.

Shi Zhiqing had some doubts in her heart, what did Zhang Youming mean by saying this?A lot of important things like what?

"What counts as important?"

"What you can forget is not important, go to sleep."

There are too many things that have been forgotten, including those vowed promises when I was young, the jokes I said, and countless hesitations after evening self-study.

On the third day after that night, Zhang Youming moved out, bought wine, and had a big drink with Blind Wang.

He asked Blind Wang countless times, is there really no eternal love?

Blind Wang doesn't know what love is. He only knows that the price of hand-brewed sorghum wine on the street has risen again.

"My love for sorghum wine is forever. Duanmei Zhang's love for his broken broom is also forever. Luo Xing, Luo Xing...Luo Xing has someone he likes, but do you know? Luo Xing is He was killed by that person himself. What about you? You are a monster, hahahaha, how could you like him? How could it be?"

Maybe it was because he had enjoyed himself drinking that night. He didn't scold Zhang Youming that night. He even covered Zhang Youming with a small blanket and told about his life hundreds of years ago.

That same night, what was Shi Zhiqing doing?

He didn't even have anyone to drink with. He looked at the moon in the distance and thought to himself, next time, what reason will he and Zhang Youming meet again?