my sick white moonlight

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Speaking of Zhang Youming's fear of water, we have to start with his death.

Most young people have an idea when they are alive that they want to scatter their ashes in the sea after death, which is a beautiful longing for the romantic blue sea.

But most people only see the positive side of the sea, ignoring the physical characteristics of the sea. The water in the deep sea is always cold, there is silent silence, and a sense of loneliness without borders.

It wasn't quite blue either, it was all but dark down there.

Zhang Youming's body was soaked in the sea for two days, the separation of body and soul made the feeling of fragmentation more violent, floating in the water without purpose, the whole world was abandoned by Zhang Youming, and the world was also abandoned he.

It was at that time that Zhang Youming met Blind Wang.

After eating the noodles with scallion oil, Zhang Youming felt refreshed. He called Ah Guang and asked if he had visited the old house during the day.

A Guang said that the old Taoist saw it and found something on the beam. I don’t know who killed it. He put a pair of broken bowls and chopsticks. Someone said before that if you put bowls and chopsticks on the beam, that family It will soon be ruined.

Ah Guang thought, hey, isn't this right?

The first thing started was that the business in the store was not good. Ah Guang was still rejoicing that he found out early. Zhang Youming heard that something was wrong. How could this matter be so mysterious? He asked again, how did the old Taoist find out?

A Guang said that the old Taoist priests can rely on calculations, saying that the old house has been tampered with, and if they have experience, they can guess right.

Zhang Youming chuckled twice, and then said, I'll go and have a look tomorrow, maybe there's still something wrong.

Ah Guang was not in a hurry to leave anyway, thinking that since Zhang Youming had come with him, he would go and have a look again, and made an appointment with Zhang Youming at three o'clock in the afternoon the next day.

After hanging up the phone, Shi Zhiqing asked, "You just came to see that house?"

Zhang Youming nodded and said, "You think I'm chasing you?"

"I won't pretend to be affectionate." Shi Zhiqing whispered.

It's not so sad now, Zhang Youming is in front of him now, and he can still talk to him.

As for the question Zhang Youming asked him, if he had to choose one, he hoped that Zhang Youming would live well.

To say sorry to Chen Yandu, Shi Zhiqing thought in another direction, maybe after saving Zhang Youming, he and Chen Yandu died together.

There is never an absolute winner or loser in the struggle between sensibility and rationality, and the same is true for Zhang Youming and Chen Yan, but Zhang Youming doesn't seem to understand this truth.

"If I died today, what would you do?" Zhang Youming asked tentatively.

Shi Zhiqing's answer is very important, it directly depends on Zhang Youming's attitude in the future.

"You are not dead." Shi Zhiqing said.

He didn't dare to make this assumption at all. He used to think that two people had to be together, even if they died for love, it would be beautiful, but now it seems that Shi Zhiqing would rather both of them live well, even if they are not together, it doesn't matter.

Just remembering that he is still in this world makes me feel warm.

"I mean what if?" Zhang Youming asked again.

"For things that haven't happened, I can't express my opinion." Shi Zhiqing emphasized again.

In a daze, Zhang Youming seemed to understand Shi Zhiqing's thoughts, he couldn't imagine that he was not in this world at all.

But the fact is that he and Shi Zhiqing are indeed not in the same "world".

"I want to go out and have a shower." Zhang Youming didn't ask again.

After knowing the facts, what he did will become more meaningless. Zhang Youming is not a person who loves to pursue meaning, but in this matter, Zhang Youming has no way to let it pass lightly like that.

This is a knot.

At the same time, he also knows that all choices in life are self-inflicted risks, and he must be responsible for his own choices.

When he chose to abandon the world, he should have thought that this day would come.

"There's no wind outside." Shi Zhiqing whispered.

But still give the coat to Zhang Youming, and go out with him.

The night in the countryside is quiet yet lively. People mostly watch TV in the main room, or lie on the bed and whisper, while the small animals in the pond start to make noise.

In fact, Shi Zhiqing likes this kind of country life very much, there are not so many things to think about, and he is not anxious about the house and car, but in the city, everyone is in a depressed state, so naturally the mood will not be much better, let alone Don't talk about taking a walk with the person you like on a night like this.

"When I get old, I will come to the countryside to settle down, build a big villa, surround a big vegetable garden, and raise two rural dogs to guard the house." Shi Zhiqing even began to look forward to it.

If he and Zhang Youming had a future, such a life would be perfect.

Zhang Youming is not in the mood to listen to what Shi Zhiqing said, these things have zero possibility. "Aren't you considering getting married?" Zhang Youming asked.

"You're very disappointing, you know?" Shi Zhiqing said softly.

"For someone like you, if you have a good marriage, then it will be a perfect life." Zhang Youming seemed to be intentionally making Shi Zhiqing angry.

The way he finds a sense of presence is incredible.

"There is no perfect life, life is painful, everyone has everyone's pain." Shi Zhiqing said lightly.

Why doesn't he, Shi Zhiqing, know which road is easy to walk and which road is difficult to walk, but sometimes he can't make a choice at all.

Zhang Youming didn't answer any more, he and Shi Zhiqing just walked silently on the cement road in the countryside.

Neither of them noticed, but when they looked up, they could see that the full moon was slowly being covered, as if covered by a veil.

When returning to the place where she lived, Chen Yan called Shi Zhiqing, but Shi Zhiqing didn't consider Zhang Youming's feelings, and answered the phone generously.

Chen Yan over there seemed to have drunk a little wine, and Shi Zhiqing blushed when he heard the ambiguous words.

He didn't know whether it was because what Chen Yan said made him blush, or because Zhang Youming could also hear those words in the quiet night.

Shi Zhiqing didn't say much, he always felt that Chen Yan's understanding of love was a bit superficial, he always talked about "I love you, I like you, I miss you", but in fact, it was somewhat true, Shi Zhiqing Not sure.

After all, there are other men on the other end of the phone calling Chen Yandu, asking him which one is the shower gel.

"Are you at home?" Shi Zhiqing asked.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for two seconds before he said, "Well, a friend is coming to stay tonight."

The two chatted about other things, and they didn't hang up the phone until the place where Shi Zhiqing lived. Tonight Zhang Youming is temporarily staying at Shi Zhiqing's place. Shi Zhiqing found towels for him and went to the yard , Continue to chat with Chen Yan.

When Zhang Youming came out of the shower, Shi Zhiqing was sitting by the bed in a daze.

"What? Missed him?" Zhang Youming said again in this beating tone.

Shi Zhiqing looked up at him, smiled lightly and said, "I can't help it."

Zhang Youming stopped what he was doing, stared at Shi Zhiqing for a few seconds, without saying a word.

The bed the two of them slept in was smaller than the one at Shi Zhiqing's house. The two of them were so tall, squeezed together on such a bed, they had some contact with each other, but Zhang Youming was naked without pajamas and pajamas. legs.

Shi Zhiqing was lying flat, with her hands on her sides naturally, and she accidentally touched Zhang Youming. The first time was okay, Shi Zhiqing moved a little, but the second time she touched her, Shi Zhiqing's hand , was held by Zhang Youming, and he said: "Move further outside, and you will fall."

"I knew I would let you sleep at the rice roll boss's house." Shi Zhiqing complained.

"You won't."

After Zhang Youming finished speaking, he put his hand elsewhere, Shi Zhiqing froze, and he didn't dare to move at all.

"Take it away." Shi Zhiqing's voice trembled a little, he didn't understand what Zhang Youming was doing.

Zhang Youming ignored it.

"Zhang Youming, take your hands away."

"Please, Zhang Youming."

[The author has something to say: I didn't expect it, there is another chapter]