don't like me

The two of us stood in the rain, silent to each other.

I wanted to light a cigarette, and the melancholy atmosphere was suitable for this. I checked my pocket, and there was a lighter, but no cigarettes.

I gave him the umbrella and asked him for one, which I knew he must have.

Sitting on the hood of the car, he held an umbrella for me, and I smoked wantonly.

"You know everything, don't you?" My voice sank. "About the shit that happened to me ten years ago."

Yang Xiao didn't hide it from me, and said frankly, "Xuxu told me."

When Wen Zhixu was able to speak, she told Yang Xiao all this. She supported Yang Xiao so much, she would rather keep it from me, pretend to be dumb for so long, and accompany Yang Xiao to deal with me.

I laughed sarcastically: "She really recognizes you."

Yang Xiao didn't respond to me, the umbrella in his hand was firmly grasped by him.

I breathed out: "How is it? Tell me about your feelings? After hearing such a dramatic story, you can't say that your heart is not disturbed, right? Tell me, you listen to my mother taking drugs, and listen to my mood after killing my father. "

Yang Xiao raised his eyes, those eyes were so sincere, "It's you that I feel sorry for."

I was surprised: "Oh, what else?"

Yang Xiao didn't speak anymore, he was very good at observing words and expressions, I'm not angry now, but it doesn't mean I'm in a good mood.

"No more?" I said disappointedly, "Is it that simple? Did you not say anything about your true feelings? Is it because you are afraid of hurting me if you say it, or is it too shocking and you don't know where to start? I didn't expect you to like Did that Wen Zhixing do such crazy things?"

"I haven't thought about it that way."

"Of course you don't. You love me, don't you? They all colluded with Gu Ming and tricked my sister into it. It's all for me, all for loving me." I said angrily, Yang Xiao's His lips moved, wanting to speak, but I didn't give him a chance.

I flicked the cigarette ash and changed the subject: "Where's Zhou Kai? He came to test me, what do you mean?"

"That's not what I meant, it's Gu Ming's." Yang Xiao explained, I know everything, he doesn't have to hide it from me anymore.

Gu Ming stood with Yang Xiao, and he actually sided with Yang Xiao, and even proposed to use Zhou Kai to test me?He can be stupid.

From the very beginning, I didn't believe that Zhou Kai would fall in love with Yang Xiao. He had already been punished by Yang Xiao once.The more Zhou Kai tested me, the more it meant that there was something wrong with Yang Xiao. If Zhou Kai didn't do anything, I really believed that Yang Xiao and that little boy might be real.

They've overdone it, and that's the loophole.

I'm not stupid.

I thought about everything he had done in the past few days, and said, "You want to know if I still have feelings for you. In fact, you don't need to be so troublesome. But you have done so much, so I will respond to you positively."

There is no one around, only him, he has a special status, his status is different from others, I tell him, listen to my true thoughts, listen to the most disgusting accusations.

Last time I didn't vent, this is the last chance, I can't let their efforts down.

"Do you know what state of mind I was in when I called you? I was thinking, we have no future plans, I don't think you have forgiven me yet, I think you have to come to see me this last time, but You didn't, you really didn't, what are you doing? I'm sorry, I don't want to make excuses for you, please forgive me for being arrogant and unreasonable," I looked at his chest, took a step towards him, came to him, looked up In the beginning, I have never been exposed so clearly at this moment, and my face reflected in his eyes is really terrifying. It is not a good feeling to bear it for ten years.

He should have been prepared, if I questioned him, he should respond to me with some plausible reasons, but he didn't, Yang Xiao just didn't say anything.

Didn't you prepare in advance?He is so shrewd, he wouldn't think that when I pretended to press him, he would be helpless and unable to answer, would he?

Well, since he can't tell, I understand that he has no reason.

It's better this way, I've forced him to question him, but he still can't say anything, so that's good, I really should hate him, there's no explanation at all.

His clothes were wet, and so were mine, and the rain never stopped, and we couldn't get close enough.

But people who wade through the muddy water are not afraid of how dirty it is.

"It's a pity, I'm so disappointed, I still love you, isn't it ridiculous?" I lowered my head, played with the cigarette in my hand, and said in surrender: "Your temptation was too successful. When I saw you with others, you said To be honest, I understand you. After so many years, why do you still hang around me? If I were you, with the current achievements, maybe I spend more time playing than you, but understanding you will not delay my sadness. , you want to hear me say this? Yes, I am very upset, feeling betrayed by you. "

I know that this is not up to date, but I have been tossing for too long, I am a little tired, I don't want to pretend, I don't want to pretend that I don't care about anything, it's better to use today's opportunity to make it clear.

"But, what can I do if I love you? What if I admit it? Can you go back ten years ago and make up for your mistakes? Or can I pick up the trust that collapsed ten years ago?"

"I can do anything."

"But I'm not rare, I'm not rare," I said: "You can do anything, but the timing is wrong, I can't have a sense of trust in you, how do I know what will happen to me next time, you Can you still talk to me?"

"Ten years ago..." Yang Xiao blurted out, seeming to have something to say, but he said the beginning and didn't continue, "You are right, that was ten years ago, now the explanation and compensation What is the use."

"It's good for you to have such awareness," I looked at him with relief, "What a high awareness, you understand what I mean? You are now the same as my dead parents, unless they are resurrected, Kneel in front of me and apologize to me, and I will forgive them, but unfortunately, they can't be resurrected, and you can't go back to that day either."

I'm stubborn, I'm not understood, it doesn't matter if I'm called hypocritical, I've experienced big things, I'm emotionally up and down, don't go through the same things like me, don't walk around in my shoes, I Why do you want to be understood?

"I'm sorry, but I want to love you," Yang Xiao said, "Brother Xing, one last time, okay?"

"Go back to ten years ago with this sentence, and ask Wen Zhixing, who couldn't contact you that night, if he would forgive you!" I didn't want to get angry, I thought that after so many years, I should be able to control it Yes, but the emotions that have been suppressed for so many years, how can it be so easy to explode?

"You, Gu Ming! Wen Zhixu! Didn't you force me? Well, I said, I, Wen Zhixing, are the most worthless! I love Yang Xiao, I can't forgive you, I still love you fucking! Is that okay? Ah! It's disgusting, fuck!" I kicked off the car, and I smashed the cigarette on the ground. I couldn't bear the sudden rush of irritability, and my mother chose to die today, so I squatted down , holding his head, with a splitting headache, "Can you go to hell! Can't you all go to hell? Why do you force me? I don't want to say, I let go, can you just pretend that I let go..."

Why are you still bothering me?

Go love others, be with others, anyone can, whoever you love, I am so disgusting, why should I be loved?All betray me, all betray me!

Anyway, my parents have done this, who else's betrayal I can't stand?

I can, I don't care...

Yang Xiao squatted down, I missed the emotion in his eyes, until he lifted my chin, held my face, squatted in front of me, and said to me with his injured eyes: "Sorry, no."

I looked up at him, I wanted to satirize him, but my mood was too low, laughing was uglier than crying, "You are so fucking disgusting."

"I will disgust you for the rest of my life." Yang Xiao looked into my eyes and said, he always said the most difficult words in the calmest voice.

I was like a straw that I could not escape, the only pillar on the sailing sea, I gradually calmed down, stared into his eyes, and confronted him, "Yang Xiao, please let me go, I I'm almost 30 years old, and I can't afford to waste time with you."

The great uncertainty between me and him has already made me exhausted. Ten years is too long, and I am about to be exhausted. For the rest of the time, I just want to live a life that I am not satisfied with.

Yang Xiao didn't answer me, but I boldly touched his face and said as if begging for mercy: "I beg you, please trouble someone else. I haven't lived a peaceful day. I'm afraid of you. I'm afraid of you." I don't want to see you either, I can't convince myself to continue with you, you let me go."

"Why can't it be that you need me."

"I do not need you."

"You love me, you need me." Yang Xiao said stubbornly: "Wen Zhixing, you are not feeling well, and I am not feeling well either. Do you know what has kept me going for the past ten years?"

Yang Xiao took my hand and took it off, "Today's conversation was not pleasant, I just want to tell you that I have done so much to force you to admit that you love me, not for us to have a better ending, Rather, I want you to be honest with your own heart."

"I admit, what else do you want..."

"Yes, you admitted that you love me, and so do I, so why should we separate? Love is love, and those messy things can't be denied."

"But I can't accept you anymore!"

"That's not what you want to consider!" Yang Xiao grabbed my wrist and made me look directly at him. He said forcefully, "That's what I have to do. If you love me, stay with me." , the rest is my problem, I will deal with it slowly, indeed, I can't go back to the past, I'm damned if I didn't answer the phone, I will make it up, I will pick up your collapsed trust, build it up little by little, Whether it is useful or not is not what you say, if you didn’t give me a chance, let alone say it’s useless, you’re not qualified.”

I blurred my vision, and felt that he was terrified, he was stubbornly terrified, he didn't even say nice words to coax me, and even threatened that I had no right?

"Sophistry." I gritted my teeth, hating his stubbornness and obstinacy.

Yang Xiao is so stubborn and unreasonable. He clings to me and has no intention of letting me go, "Don't try to convince me today, Wen Zhixing, I've been waiting for you for ten years, not to hear you talk about us in ten years. You two can't be together, as long as you still love me, you have to be with me."

"Why?!"

"Because you can't let me go at all!" Yang Xiao pulled back his strength and said loudly: "Why? You and I have been tossing about for ten years. Since ten years, the most important thing in our hearts is each other. If you can't let it go, don't let it go. No one is forcing you to let go, you are forcing yourself, it is you who are awkward."

"Bastard!" I was about to hit him with a punch, and I didn't show any mercy. I couldn't listen to what he said, he was the one who was arrogant and unreasonable.

Yang Xiao didn't stop me, after receiving this punch, he turned his face sideways, and my murderous intentions didn't diminish at all, Yang Xiao turned around, unrepentant, "Hit, go on, do you think you can beat me well?" If so, don't stop."

The movement of my chest rising and falling became bigger and bigger, my face must be horrifying now, the fire in my chest was blocked, and I bit down hard on every word: "I just won't give you this chance."

Want to have it?Make up for mistakes?If it is so simple, I should go to him when I get out of prison and let him make up for me, instead of struggling in the mud.

Yang Xiao raised his head slightly, I seemed to have irritated him, his eyes were the coldness of a leopard locking its prey, he slammed my hands on the car hood behind him with one hand, and locked me with one hand wrist, threatened me and said: "Then continue to wear it."

After saying that, he raised my chin with one hand, grabbed my neck, blocked me in front of the car door and him, and oppressively stopped my breath.

My ups and downs have not completely stabilized my emotions. After being in the rain for so long, his rough kisses did not give me any room to breathe. I reached out to stop him with limp strength. I beat him, but I really had no strength. The feeling of weightlessness and lack of breath all over my body collapsed. I didn't fight him a few times, and I suddenly went limp.

"Yang Xiao, I fucking killed you..."

His kiss was too heavy, I was so uncomfortable, as if I couldn't breathe, even so, with red eyes, I still grabbed him and threatened him.

"Kill me when you wake up." Yang Xiao hugged me and stood up. He realized that something was wrong with me earlier than I did.

I clutched at his clothes, unable to speak because my consciousness was fading, and before he could take a few steps, I passed out.

A hand hit my forehead and pressed it down heavily. Yang Xiao tested my body temperature. I didn't care about the hot skin. Han, the nasal voice is very heavy when he speaks. After tossing in the rain until now, his body finally couldn't bear it anymore, and finally passed out.

The last thing a person loses before death is hearing.

The same is true when you are in a coma.

He landed heavily and forcefully on the side of the ear, shuttled from the eardrum, and sent it into the mind.

"A day is mine, and a lifetime is mine."