don't like me

I called Tong Jin and asked her if she was free now.

Tong Jin was in the hospital. I said I had to go there. She looked at the time and asked me if I should not go to work today.

Behind me is the office building where the company is located. I look very small in front of it. I just experienced a verbal dispute. I didn’t say too much. It was just those few people who talked about it. , the mind has been decided.

I am very relieved that no one is acting like covering the sky with one hand.

Zhao Yin, Wang Xu, and my supervisor are all on the same front as me. They really want me to stay, and their persuasion is sincere. They never threaten or lure me. That's all.

He sat silently on the sofa chair, thinking about something, his mouth wriggling, looking like he had something to say, I dare not guess what he wanted to say, don't be sentimental, it would be ugly.

In short, everyone didn't keep me, and the boss only said two words in the end, "Go."

That's what he looked like after he regained his sanity.

The vice president had a look of disbelief.

If the company is missing, no one will stop operating or close down, but the performance will always be affected a little bit. If nothing else, our department will be a little difficult.

I am afraid that the days after I am in charge will be difficult.

But that's not my concern.

I took a taxi to the hospital and made an appointment with Tong Jin.

Wen Zhixu hasn't been in touch these few days, and I don't know whether he is dead or alive. I have a big heart as a brother.

I haven't been to the hospital for a while. Tong Jin told me that my mother's condition is not optimistic. I am not surprised or worried. She will die sooner or later.

When I went to see her, she was still asleep, quietly, and put on the drip again.

It was like a dead man, pale and lying there motionless.

I stood by the bed and watched for a while, she didn't intend to wake up, she was in a deep sleep.

I'm not here to wait for her to wake up, go outside with Tong Jin.

"She keeps asking about us recently, and I can't bear it, so I don't come to see her very often." Tong Jin said apologetically when she saw my mother's appearance.

Her heart is narrow, and I comforted her: "Don't come here again, hold on tighter until you die, you are right."

Tong Jin said, "You can't say that..."

She sighed, looked back at the ward, put her hands into the pockets of her white coat, "I really hope that Auntie is well, and I also hope that you meet a lover who can fulfill Auntie's last wish and let her..."

Let her go in peace.

She didn't say it, and I understood what she meant.

Why worry about me.

I didn't care about these things about myself, she did too much, I said coldly: "She still wants to see Wen Zhixu before she dies, and I don't plan to let her see her, to fulfill her wish? I think it counts." Now, what is there to care about the wish of a dead person? I didn’t love her daughter well before I was alive, and when I was about to die, I expected my daughter to be intimate with her. Is death such a great thing? It’s such a great privilege.”

The first time I made such a statement in front of Tong Jin, she expressed that she couldn't understand it, not only her, but no one standing in front of me could understand my ruthlessness.

Although Tong Jin couldn't understand, she knew that I must have my own reasons for saying this, so she could only ask: "Auntie and Xuxu...what's the matter?"

"I don't know," I answered lightly, "I don't know where to start. You should ask what happened to our family."

Tong Jin's eyes darkened. She didn't understand, and I didn't give an answer. I didn't want the atmosphere to continue to develop in a serious way, so I asked about her relationship.

"How do you know?" Tong Jin was quickly distracted by my topic, a little surprised, "I haven't told you about this yet."

"I ran into it by accident. I was in the hospital that day." I said.

"When? When did you come? I didn't even see it."

"I just don't want you to see it. If your boyfriend bumps into me, wouldn't I have to be beaten?"

Tong Jin said, "How could he, he's not such a violent person."

After that, Tong Jin told me how I met her boyfriend and what kind of person her boyfriend is. According to her, I have a good impression of his boyfriend, but I don't plan to ask him out for dinner. to self-harm.

I'm old, but I can't beat young people.

If the other party cares about my relationship with Tong Jin, I will fight on the spot, and I will not take advantage of it, and I will not do it if I do not take advantage of it.

"Does he know about us?" This is what I have to ask.

Tong Jin said: "I don't know, I don't know how to tell him yet, I just got together, I want to wait."

"Needless to say, let's break off the relationship today," I said, "My mother will wake up in a while, and I will go over and tell my mother not to harass you."

Tong Jin became nervous, and hurriedly said, "Don't, brother Xing, you can't do this. Auntie's condition is not good, so don't go stab her at this time."

"She's always going to die," I said calmly. Talking about death in the hospital is very taboo, but I'm too casual, and I don't feel deeply about these taboos. "Sooner or later it will happen."

"That's not allowed." Tong Jin is kinder and more humane than me, "Don't talk nonsense in front of Auntie, I will explain it to Zhou Lang, he can understand, you can rest assured about this."

Zhou Lang is her boyfriend.

Can I rest assured that it's not just a matter of her words?

After Tong Jin said that, I didn't insist on going to piss my mother off.

When I went back to the ward, I was already awake.

My mother was very excited when she saw that I was about to sit up, but I walked over slowly, not in a hurry, to help her up.

"When did you come?" Her voice was weak, and it seemed that she was really dying.

"Just here." I said casually.

My mother looked very tired, feeling weak, and her eyes were not as clear as before. After meeting Wen Zhixu, the influence of both of them was not small.

"How does it feel?" I asked redundantly.

My mother pulled her lips and smiled, not worried about her illness, "It's good, I just dreamed about your dad, and he's coming to pull me away."

I sat in a chair and didn't speak.

My mother noticed my quietness, turned her head to look over, and stretched out her hand. I understood what she meant, and handed it to her. Relaxed, didn't ask some irrelevant things, and said: "He asked me to say sorry to you."

I could hear footsteps in the hallway outside, every step.

When the mind is quiet, nothing can escape.

Indoors, everything illuminated by the sun turns white, making everything lifeless, full of rendering of the atmosphere of life and death, and making the sound extraordinarily delicate.

I was silent for a while, and said: "Then you go down and take a word for me, and tell him that I am also sorry for accidentally killing him."

My mother's palms felt cold.

As long as she mentions this, no one can truly be peaceful. I don't know why she said this to me. Is it not disgusting enough?

My mother withdrew her hand and stared at the bed.

When a person is about to die, is the lacrimal gland more developed?Can anything be sentimental?She cried, in front of me.

And I have been so indifferent that I can no longer sympathize with or understand her tears.

The women around me are always crying.

My mother is crying, my sister is crying, even our neighbor who has been abused by domestic violence all the time is crying all day long. Instead, because I grew up in the sound of her crying, I am more and more insensitive to tears, even I I have lost the ability to cry.

It seems that I haven't shed tears for more than ten years, and I can't remember the more detailed years. In short, in my impression, I have forgotten what it feels like to cry, how to cry, and what makes me cry.

I allowed her to shed tears silently for a while, and she was fine without saying anything. After crying for a while, she said that she was tired, and I planned to leave. It was not worth the trip, but it was worth it.

It's not worth it because she told me about my dad, if I had known I wouldn't have come, it's worth it because she didn't talk too much nonsense and asked questions.

It's complicated, this trip is meaningless, I didn't come to see her cry.

Closing the door and standing outside in the hallway, I wasn't going anywhere.

The most devout prayers can be heard in the hospital, indeed, many people left the ward with their foreheads against the wall, making prayer gestures, hoping that God would spare their loved ones' lives.

I watched people coming and going, and I was thinking, life and death are such a simple matter, people are so weak that my mother is as pale and powerless, and people can be so strong that they can go through right and wrong and come out of the blood , still safe and sound.

How much is a life worth, after all.

Why live, what is the meaning.

No one can answer the difficult question of the century. Everyone has a different understanding, the answer is different, and the regrets about life and death cannot be shared.

After coming out of the ward, I felt restless for a while.

Yang Xiao's phone call saved me and gave me a foothold who didn't know where to go at this time.

He asked me what I was doing, I said I was in the hospital, I didn't chat with him, just let him drive to pick me up, and I didn't care what he was doing.

He is also willing to my request.

Soon, he arrived at the location I sent him and picked me up at the gate of the hospital.

After I got in the car, he asked me if I was sick, but I wasn't there when I came.

"It's not me, my mother." I didn't mention my family to him very much. I really couldn't do anything. I had nothing to talk about, and I didn't have any stories. Like him, I said indifferently: "Drive."

I just want to get out of this right and wrong place, and I don't feel comfortable listening to other people's prayers.

Yang Xiao drove the car and took me to his company. I have never been to the place where he works, and today is the first time to visit.

The partners of their company are all there, that is, those familiar faces, those who have met, and the few who almost fought before.

Their attitude towards me is lukewarm, that's fine, I don't bother to deal with it, I just pretend to be polite.

Yang Xiao took me all the way into his office. As I often go to the boss's office, I couldn't help but feel a little emotional. He chose this place very well, with a large space and a good view. It is more open than my boss's small office.

I sit down anywhere, the black leather sofa is soft and cool to the touch, and there is a coffee table in front of me, which is used for chatting while resting, and it is also a good way to entertain guests.

Yang Xiao put a cup of tea on the coffee table, he just made it, put it in front of me, and sat down on the sofa next to me.

I seem to have arrived at my own home, the shelf is placed higher than anyone else, and I sit with my legs open.

"I resigned." I explained the situation, which was agreed a few days ago, and I took action today.

He also felt uncomfortable.

"It's been dragging on for two days," Yang Xiao leaned on the sofa with one hand, facing the floor-to-ceiling windows, under the bright sunlight, the outlines of his brows and eyes were clearly highlighted, there was no blemish on his face, even the edges and corners of his jawline were exposed Bewitched, that mouth opened and closed, and whatever it said made me feel good, "Want to rest, or come here directly?"

I had a plan in my mind, so I had a showdown with him: "Take a rest for two days, I have something to tell you, I don't plan to come to your place."

Yang Xiao was not surprised, he just tapped his fingers on the sofa, looked at me and asked, "Why?"

I shrugged, picked up the cup of tea, and said frankly, "There are better places to go."

Yang Xiao continued to ask: "Is it convenient to disclose?"

He couldn't hide it, he was too polite.

I tasted the tea he brewed by himself. If I don’t drink tea often, I can’t understand it. I feel that the tea smell is similar. I put the cup back and said generously: “Go and help Gu Ming’s father for two days. Their treatment is good. , invited me no less than three times."

"Why don't you go before it's so good?" Yang Xiao was puzzled by this.

"I don't mind, I don't want to pursue Gu Ming's relationship, now I want to open it." I should have gone, to have fun, to see the big world, I have to leave my comfort zone.

Yang Xiao finally confirmed: "Decided?"

I said um.

He didn't make it difficult for me, as if he knew I would make such a decision, "Then go, think about the happiness brought by friendship for two days."

"Don't keep me?" I tried to see the real emotion in his eyes.

"You've already made up your mind, what are you going to do with me?" Yang Xiao stood up and walked to the side, which was his desk. He picked up a jewelry box next to the computer, turned his head and said, "I also have a cooperative relationship with them. Just in time, there is a reason to run there more.”

He thought well.

Yang Xiao walked back. The gap between the coffee table and the sofa was large enough to not hinder his movements. He walked back, walked up to me, opened the jewelry box, took out a ring from it, and then threw the jewelry box on the coffee table. Come hold my hand and put it on.

I curled my fingers to stop him from moving.

Yang Xiao looked up at me.

I said: "This thing can't be worn casually."

How precious and meaningful, it carries the world's innocent love wishes.

Yang Xiao held my finger, took my words as nonsense, with firm eyes, and arbitrarily put the ring on my hand.

There are no small diamonds on the ring, just a ring, very simple, more like an ornament than a wedding ring or something.

But there is a circle of words inside the ring. I just saw it, but I didn't have time to see it clearly. It is not in Chinese and English, but more like a symbol.

After Yang Xiao put it on, he didn't say much, not a single romantic love word to match the atmosphere, it seemed that he just put on a small accessory for me, he sat back in his seat, lit a cigarette, but never entertained me.

I didn't criticize him either, I admired the ring on my hand and said, "The action is pretty fast."

Just said to wear things, so it's ready, action, yes, I like it.

Yang Xiao smoked a cigarette and didn't say a word. He actually could talk about love. Although it was rough, I thought it was very romantic, but he didn't like to talk, so there was nothing I could do.

Under the blue sky, I admired enough the gadgets in my hands, and thought about what I should respond to him. I stood up and walked to his sofa. He was smoking, and I suddenly raised my chin without giving him a chance to ask back. , I lowered my head and bit his lips.

It's all the smell of tobacco, this second-hand smoke is much more fragrant than just smelling it, and so are others, it's much more refreshing than looking at it.

After kissing fiercely for a while, I let go of his lips, and he opened his eyes full of passion, put one arm around my waist, raised his head and asked me, "What do you mean?"

He is still very suspicious of my throwing arms.

I touched his hair, rubbed it in my fingertips, and said softly: "Your reward."

He still didn't understand, I scratched his charming face with my ring-wearing hand, and said badly: "Zhao Yin has it, and you, as a boyfriend, should have it too, it's fair."

Until now, I still haven't let Zhao Yin go, dragged him into the water, and carnival with us.

Ah...how can I be so bad?

Seeing Yang Xiao's dim eyes for an instant, my heart pounded, it's so beautiful, his emotions.

The author has something to say:

Let’s read the last chapter after it’s unlocked, I really don’t think I wrote anything, it’s been locked all the time (tears)

Brother Xing is still unwilling to be a man today, I try my best to do ideological work for him...