no one save me

When grandma was alive, no one gave her a birthday. I remember her birthday, but I couldn't afford a cake. By the time I could afford a cake, she was gone.

After all, it was a little bit close, but it's a pity.

I drove around the city, and finally bought a cake that I liked. Cakes cannot be stored for a long time, and they are easy to deteriorate. After I got the cake, I drove to my hometown immediately.

The weather happened to be fine. When I went back to the town, I met Uncle Wang. He was growing vegetables in the vegetable field next to the dam. When he saw me, he shouted, "Xiao Qi is back!"

"Well, I'm back." I responded with a smile.

"What are you doing?" Uncle Wang asked.

"To see my grandma!" He heard it only after I raised my voice: "Uncle Wang, I'm leaving first, and I'll come back later, slow down!"

The dam is close to the water, and people have been drowned, and many people have drowned. I heard that two years ago, a fool fell into the water in the middle of the night, and it took two days to find him.

I took the cake and went to the cemetery. Grandma’s tomb is not too far away. It’s only a few steps around the mountain road, but there are a lot of weeds here. some.

The cake was placed in front of the grave, I got my hands dirty, rubbed it on my clothes twice, opened the cake box, put a candle on it, lit it with a lighter, and watched it dance with orange flames.

"Happy birthday." I whispered.

I also bought some paper money, knelt down in front of the grave and burned it, kowtowed a few times, then cut the cake, put half in front of grandma’s tombstone, and took the other half down the mountain. I loved eating these rare things when I was a child Stuff, when someone celebrates their birthday, they will cut the cake into small pieces and give them to the neighbors. Although I am not welcome, I can still receive some.

I left some cakes for the few remaining widowed and lonely old people.

"Today is just a coincidence. I caught a big fish yesterday. I made fish soup for you tonight. Drink more to replenish your body. You look so skinny." Uncle Wang patted my back with a smile. Back: "How did this kid lose so much weight?"

I heard from Uncle Wang that Grandpa Hu suffered a heart attack last month and went to the hospital. Later, his son and daughter came back. Before he was dead, he began to fight over how to distribute the family property. Then he forced Grandpa Hu into a rage. died.

Uncle Wang became angrier as he spoke, and wiped the cloudy corners of his eyes.

"Hey, let me tell you, this is not the way to do it." Uncle Wang sighed, "Lao Hu has never done anything wrong in his life, so why did he end up with such a pair of children? But I won't say anything." He's gone, and I have a lot of bad things of my own."

Uncle Wang sat on the small bench by the door and chatted with me. He pulled out a cigarette and let out a long sigh.

"When is the burial?" I asked.

"I've already been buried, so I'm not here." Uncle Wang shook his head: "I've been an old neighbor all my life, and I didn't even see my face when I got here. People in the city talk about cremation. Once the cremation is burnt to ashes, who can tell me?" Who do you still remember, when you think about it, you can’t even see a coffin or a bone frame.”

When my grandma passed away, I could still be buried here. I remember that the couple didn’t come back. I organized the funeral myself. It was a very simple funeral. I knelt in front of my grandma’s bed for a long time until my legs became numb. stand up.

After a period of time, I kept having a fever. Some people in the village said that my grandma was reluctant to bear me. Later, I didn't have a fever, but I never even dreamed about my grandma.

"By the way, the kid who came back with you last time." Uncle Wang asked me with a smile: "Are you a friend, a good friend?"

I responded with a cigarette in my mouth, I don't want to tell other people about those bad things.

"Why didn't you come this time? That young man is nice." Uncle Wang patted me on the shoulder: "Make more friends, bring him here next time, and I'll make you some food."

"En." I responded, took out a lighter from my pocket, lit the cigarette, and said with a smile, "Uncle Wang, have a sip tonight? I brought some wine."

"Okay! Hahaha." Uncle Wang has nothing else to like, he likes to drink, he said with a smile: "Have a sip!"

I got up and stretched, then went out to my car, took down the wine and cigarettes, and carried them to Uncle Wang’s house, the little white dog always followed me on the road, biting my trouser leg whenever he had nothing to do, I laughed After half squatting down and rubbing its dog's head, it ran away again.

"Oh, birthday cake." Uncle Wang took a bite of the birthday cake I brought back, and then said with a smile, "Your grandma left early, I remember when she left, you were only a little older..."

"Grand one." I said.

"Oh, that's right, freshman year of high school, and then you dropped out of school." Uncle Wang rolled his own cigarette, leaned on the wooden chair and said, "You didn't shed a single tear at that time, and others caught you You scold, I know you, you and I grew up watching you, how could I not understand you. "

Uncle Wang took a deep breath of the cigarette, then let it out slowly, he said: "Why don't you want to cry, you're just dumbfounded, you don't know what to do, you can't cry anymore."

I lowered my eyes slightly and did not refute.

"Don't you encounter any difficulties outside?" Uncle Wang drank a lot of wine, and I also drank a lot. I was a little dizzy before my eyes, so I heard him say: "There is no obstacle to overcome, what obstacle is there?" My son, as soon as I gritted my teeth, I stepped over."

"Yeah." I replied.

"I miss your grandma. Alas, your parents came back a few days ago and said that your brother is gone." Uncle Wang sighed: "It's younger than you, young, and it's gone. They said it was to save people and It's gone, why is a good child gone?"

"Well, it's a pity." I took a sip of wine, and I happened to sit in the air vent, a little cold.

"I remember your younger brother, who is good at studying. At that time, he joked that when he passed the college entrance examination, he would come back to give my grandson a tutoring session during the summer vacation, and then your parents took him abroad. It's a pity, alas , It would be nice if it was still in China, at least alive, right?" Uncle Wang turned his head to look at me, and said with a smile: "It's not easy for your parents, please be considerate. Black-haired man, your mother can't stand up crying, who can bear it?"

In fact, I don't really want to hear this, but the old man wants to talk about it after drinking too much, so I will let him.

"He's a nice kid, good-looking, good-natured, and good grades, why is he gone?" Uncle Wang is getting old, and he likes to ramble on about this topic when he drinks. He brought up other topics, but there was nothing he could do about it, so he could only say, "It's a pity."

"If your grandma is still here, she will be blind from crying. Where can I find such a good grandson? Fortunately, she went early, otherwise..." Uncle Wang's voice became weaker and weaker, and he could see that he was a little sleepy. I got up, glanced at him, took the blanket next to him and covered him, and then went out.

There are almost no people in the small town, all of them have been demolished, and the people left behind are all old people. At a glance, the alleys that were still prosperous when I was a child have been dilapidated, and the dam is deserted. The sunflowers grown at my grandfather's house are gone, and I liked to stay there when I was a child.

I wrapped up my coat and wore black broken sleeves inside. When I walked to the pond, I squatted and smoked. I didn’t dare to do this before. I was a little afraid of water and heights, and I was also afraid of ghosts at night. Now it doesn’t matter. You let me go now. Walking around the cemetery, I guess I can hum two songs.

I don’t really want to mention Zuo Lin, maybe it’s because of jealousy. I’m jealous that he’s better than me in every way, and he gets more than me in every way. Others remember him but not me. I’m jealous that he got the money from his parents All Jiang Yihang's love, even the stranger Uncle Wang felt very sorry for him.

But I hypocritically feel that I am not a good brother, no wonder my parents don't like me.

I grabbed two stones at random and floated in the water. The big fish pond was quiet and there was no sound at all.

I drank too much at first, but now that the wind blows, I basically wake up from the wine, but my nosebleeds started again. I really have no choice but to wipe it with my sleeve twice, then reach out to cover my mouth and nose and stand up, shaking slightly After a while, he almost staggered and fell into the water.

It's about to fall in, and I'm probably the one who floats up in two days.

I turned my head and walked towards the house. I put all the medicines in it. I took the medicine and drank water as usual, but I was bleeding a little tonight. I sat on the sofa and there was a trash can in front of me. I wiped the tissue I used to wipe the blood, and the blood trickled down my arm.

"Ugh." My stomach was churning, and I supported the table and started to vomit, overwhelming, bursting up my throat until I vomited all the wine. I couldn't say it smelled good, so I piled up the garbage, covered my mouth and nose, went to the sink in front, and rinsed my face with cold water, which made it better.

After the bleeding was stopped, I was still in a state of insomnia. I might be a little resistant to sleeping pills. I opened my eyes, and then began to touch the cigarette case restlessly, leaning on the sofa and smoking one after another.

"Oh." I couldn't explain why, so I wanted to sigh, and then I looked at the photo of my grandma hanging in the living room. Give you a face, your little grandson will give you a face, alas... he is a top student, just like..., I really didn't have the heart to study at that time, and I couldn't continue to study. I got into fights at school. There was nothing I could do. Everyone bullied me Me, they beat me in groups, I had no choice but to fight back, and then their parents could make a fuss, and I was fired, and now those two teachers who turned black and white looked at me and wanted to avoid it."

"Fucking trash, if I can't beat it, I'm still rushing to find a cigarette." I took a puff of cigarette, and slowly exhaled: "Still cuddling, cuddling the fucking clique, playing school violence on my head, counting them kicking me!" Iron plate..."

I paused, then lowered my voice again: "But it doesn't count. Anyway, I was expelled, and they made a demerit. The teacher said that I picked quarrels and provoked troubles, and refused to change after repeated admonitions. ...fucking shit."

I leaned on the sofa, raised my head, put my arms on the back of the sofa, and held a cigarette in my hand. The ash burned to the back of my hand, and I basically didn't feel much.

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乖巧蹲，各种姿势蹲！感谢在2022-03-2723:23:38~2022-03-2819:59:45期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who irrigate the nutrient solution: Mo Xiaoran, 1 bottle of Xiaoyu;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!