no one save me

I dialed the driver's number by myself, and then took me to the hospital. When I was in the car, I could see the driver's hands shaking the steering wheel, so I could only comfort him weakly: "It's okay, it just fell on the debris. Now, just go and treat the wound."

The hysteria seemed to be a hallucination before, and I wondered if I really pressed the wound just now, and if the fragments left in the wound on the palm were real... I squeezed my palm carefully and vigorously, and saw Seeing more blood gushing out, it was confirmed in my heart.

The real crash never comes silently, and by the time I realize it, it's almost too late.

I was admitted to the emergency department. It seemed that because of the rain, there was a large car accident somewhere, and all the students were sent in. I sat on the bench next to me and saw the ambulance coming, and I ran away pushing stretchers one by one. In the past, some parents were inquiring, some parents were paying fees, and many of them were crying and could no longer stand up.

I got up and walked to the side to make room for them to sit for a while.

"Hello, is your emergency call here? Is your hand injured?" The nurse ran over and saw my hand, and said, "Can you open your hand? Let me see how the injury is on your side." Sample."

I responded and opened my hand. There was almost no good place in the palm of the hand. The remaining glass shards were stuck in the texture of the flesh, and the bones could almost be seen. The nurse's face changed slightly and she took a breath.

In fact, the injury to this extent has already become numb. I don't know if it's because of too much bleeding or other reasons. All in all, I can't feel the pain anymore.

"Zuo Qi? Is it Zuo Qi?" When I was sitting in front of the doctor, he called my name. I was slightly stunned, and it took me a while to realize that it was me. The doctor wrinkled tightly while examining the wound. Frowning: "Why did it become like this, the wound is too deep, there are too many broken glass inside, the wound needs to be washed, it seems that the tendons should be damaged, and the bones can be seen..."

The more he talked, the closer he frowned, and he shook his head and said, "You may need nerve repair surgery, and I may not be able to do it here."

"Just watch and clean it up, just suture it." I don't know what my face looks like now, but I must have lost so much blood, it should be because my face is not pretty.

"Nonsense, how can this be cleaned up, don't you want your hands?" The doctor got up and opened the hospital, the driver went to pay the fee, and then he arranged for me to clean the wound first.

"Broken glass is difficult to clean up. If it remains in the flesh, it will affect your life." The doctor said without raising his head, "How did you make it like this?"

"It fell." I paused, and added, "Then it fell on the glass."

The doctor raised his head and glanced at me, then lowered his eyes after a while and continued to clean the wound.

I don't know if he believed me, but the wound didn't feel anything, it just looked scary, with a lot of blood flowing out, bright red and sticky, it made people feel sick.

I am now somewhat formally considering Dr. Xu's suggestion, whether to apply for a VIP annual card membership in the hospital, and I think it is funny to think about it.

When I met Ms. Lin again, it was already half a month later. During this half month, I worked hard to recuperate in the hospital and treat my illness well. I even made an appointment with a psychiatrist. To change something, no matter how disgusting or uncomfortable, try to save yourself, maybe after I survive these few years, the later me will thank the present me for my persistence.

Just like the 3000 meters in our long-distance running, we will thank us who have been suffering but persisted on the runway after running the whole distance.

Ms. Lin and the others wanted to pay homage to grandma, but because of my affairs, they missed the anniversary of grandma's death. In fact, the two of them were a little dissatisfied. I knew very well that I made an appointment after receiving their call and asked the driver to go Pick them up and go to the small town.

"Your hair...your hands, what's going on?" When Ms. Lin saw me, there was a trace of surprise on her face. I didn't answer, but my eyes fell on the black and white photo in her hand. , the person in the photo has a handsome face and a smile on his lips. You can tell from the photo that this is a person who loves to smile.

I looked away, pursed my lips slightly and asked, "Where is his grave?"

"The ashes have been brought back, but they haven't been buried yet. I plan to choose a time for burial." Ms. Lin hesitated before saying, "Falling leaves return to their roots. I want to bury him on the Zuo family's grave, and find a place close to his grandparents. When we get old and die, we will be by his side, so he won't feel lonely."

"Yeah." I answered.

"Zuo Qi." Ms. Lin suddenly stopped me, I turned my head, she looked at me and said, "What's the matter with your hair and hands?"

I have been hospitalized these days, and I tried my best to put everything on the right track, and even started to delegate power to the board of directors. I tried hard to ask, how can I get rid of this state, and I also spent hundreds of thousands to open a golf course membership. I have booked a new car, and I am ready to go out for a self-driving tour when I feel better.

I calmly looked back at Ms. Lin, and after a while I said, "Dye it, fall it."

"Pa——" a slap hit my face, it was hot and painful, my face was slightly turned away, there was a faint buzzing in the eardrum, and a bloody smell slowly overflowed from my mouth, I raised my hand to wipe After a moment, he glanced at the faint bloodstains on the back of his hand.

"Do you know why you hit you?" Mr. Zuo, who had been silent all this time, stood up at this moment. He hasn't spoken much since he came back. I don't know what he is thinking, and I don't want to understand. He looked at me, and I looked at him. , he said: "Do you know who is in this photo?"

"Yes, Zuo Lin." I said.

"He is your younger brother. Are you so indifferent when you look at his photo?" Mr. Zuo's eyes showed doubts, and he looked at me with such strange and strange eyes: "A normal person, even when facing a stranger You wouldn't be so indifferent, let alone this is your younger brother."

"A normal person wouldn't come back after his mother passed away? Wouldn't his son have been homeless for more than 20 years and turn a blind eye to it? He wouldn't—" Before I could finish my sentence, I was punched in the face , He smashed a little sideways, and I was a little unsteady on my feet. I barely stabilized my figure by leaning on the tree. The figures of him and Ms. Lin in front of me shook a little, and I couldn't see clearly.

"What are you talking about? People in their twenties learn these words!" He snapped.

I don't know if Mr. Zuo is really in a bad mood today, or because of other reasons, he is obviously a lot more irritable. I looked at his red and bloodshot eyes, and at Zuo Lin's posthumous photo, and suddenly understood why this happened. I couldn't help but want to laugh. I leaned against the big tree and laughed trembling all over. It was so funny.

The son you like is lying in the urn, and the son you hate is alive and well, Dad, are you particularly disappointed?

Mr. Zuo looked at me and clenched his fists. He seemed to want to go forward but was stopped by Ms. Lin. I couldn't hear what they said, only the constant buzzing in my ears.

"Crazy, really crazy!"

I could faintly hear this sentence, looked up at him, grinned after a while, and said in a hoarse voice: "Yeah, I'm crazy, I'm fucking crazy, what were you doing before?" Go! What are you doing! Hahahahaha... now I think I'm crazy, hahahaha... I died from laughing."

I know my voice is trembling, I know I'm crying, but I just can't help it. When I look at the black and white photo held in Ms. Lin's hands, I can't tell whether I am disgusted or sad, but I just feel like a joke. .

Since you don't want me, why did you give birth to me.

Since everyone doesn't want me, why are you with me?

Am I so fucking cheap, because everyone wants to step on me, cheating again and again... I am not a wooden person, nor a fool, don't I feel sad?

"Why didn't you say you were going to bury Zuo Lin next to grandma before today? Why did you say it when you got here...why didn't you tell me everything until it was here? Why did everyone do this? I was wrong Is it?" I looked at them, choked up, and tears kept falling: "Am I wrong? I was wrong...Is it?"

The two of them are holding the posthumous photo. The person in the posthumous photo is younger than me, younger than me, looks easier to get along with than me, and has a milder temper than me. They are holding their beloved son. The family of three looked at me like this, like Watch a strange madman.

I let out a long sigh, lowered my head and quickly wiped away my tears.

The emotions collapsed in an instant, and it took only a few minutes to put them away.

"I'm sorry." I whispered: "I've been... under too much pressure recently, I'm sorry."

My breathing was still a little rough, I tried my best to press down, the back of my head hurt, my internal organs seemed to be pressed by a large stone, something was churning inside, and there was a bloody smell in my mouth.

"We're going back first. We can't do it today." Ms. Lin pulled Mr. Zuo. After the two of them took a deep look at me, they turned their heads and walked down the mountain. on the ground.

The driver didn't keep up and was waiting for us in the small town.

I watched them walk away until I could no longer see any shadows. I supported the tree and got up and walked up the mountain. Grandma’s grave is actually not far from here. I don’t want to quarrel in front of grandma. For a moment I couldn't control my emotions.

I didn't expect her old man to worry about me when she was alive, and now that she is dead, I let her see such a terrible thing.

"I'm sorry, grandma." I sat in front of grandma's tombstone without bringing anything. I thought those two were going to visit grandma, but I didn't expect to bury Zuo Lin here. I didn't have time to prepare anything. In front of the old man, such a terrible thing happened.

"I don't want to, but I can't control it. You are right. I should control my temper more." I lowered my head, wiped the dust on the tombstone lightly, and said in a low voice, "I have no future. I haven't found someone I like so far, I wanted to show it to you, but I was deceived...just now my parents came, and brought Zuo Lin, I...um..."

I was silent for a long time, then leaned against the tombstone and said in a low voice, "Grandma, I don't know where I went wrong, but I seem to be... just wrong."

The author has something to say:

This article is going to be renamed, I am wondering what to change it to hahaha!

The last straw that overwhelmed Zuo Qi may be the person you didn't expect...

（又是蹲评论的一天！）感谢在2022-03-2300:09:08~2022-03-2320:26:45期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who cast the mine: perfeit 1;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：曦暝22瓶；寻人归3瓶；554454802瓶；2号子1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!