no one save me

By coincidence, when I went back, Jiang Yihang was at the door of my house. He was wearing a white short sleeve and sat silently at the door. After my car was parked in the garage, he turned his head and looked at me.

"Brother Qi." He stood up, as if he wanted to say something to me.

"Zuo Lin's parents are back." After getting off the car, I glanced at him and told him, "Zuo Lin passed away."

I don't know if he knows the news, maybe he knows, maybe he doesn't know, but I can see a trace of blankness on his face, at this moment I just want to sigh deeply, the most unfortunate things are basically given to me Encountered, I should really pray to God and worship Buddha.

"What are you talking about?" He looked at me and forced a smile on his face: "Brother Qi, what did you mean just now?"

"You know Zuo Lin, do you know that he is my younger brother? I should have told you about it." I leaned against the car door and wanted to light a cigarette when I was upset, but my hands trembled a little, so forget it: " Before, when I pursued Ye Yuwei, you also pursued her, you can tell yourself, were you straight or curvy at that time?"

Jiang Yihang didn't answer my words, his smile gradually faded from his face, and he became expressionless.

"Angry? Why? Is it because I know something, or is it because I told you that Zuo Lin died?" I knew the answer, but I couldn't help but say it, my heart felt like a knife Crushed inside, pierced repeatedly, the pain made me almost numb: "You can't accept it, can you?"

"Who told you that he's dead?" Jiang Yihang lowered his lips and stared at me. Time seemed to turn back in an instant, back to the time when the two of us didn't like each other. He said softly: " Take that sentence back."

I think if there was a previous life, then I must have killed a lot of people and committed a lot of sins, only to meet Jiang Yihang and Lu Qiao in this life.

It's ridiculous to say that I can't get what I'm after, and I can't keep the people I want to keep. It turns out that I have been losing the same thing in my whole life.

"I said, Zuo Lin is dead—"

"boom--"

He stepped forward suddenly, and even though I was on guard, I still slammed my back against the car door. It hurt a little, but it was expected.

"Don't you know? So no one told you that Zuo Lin is dead, and the grass on his grave is almost taller than a person, don't you know?" I saw my current appearance in his pupils, I know that I shouldn't have said these words, at least it shouldn't have come from me, but after these words were spoken, I actually felt a tinge of revenge.

"Who told you this?" I could no longer see any apology or emotion on his face, only anger.

"His mother told me that Zuo Lin died. I heard that he acted bravely. His parents are back. If you don't believe me, you can ask them for proof." But the laughter became more and more unbearable, this incident is like a joke, it's so fucking ironic.

If the Oscar statuette is not awarded to Jiang Yihang this year, I will doubt whether there is any inside story.

"I just want to ask you, what were you thinking when you and I were vying to chase after Ye Yuwei?" I looked into his eyes and felt it was hard to breathe: "Thinking about how to lie to me, how to act, how to make him I'm dead set, foolish enough to trust you, and then? Huh?"

"..." Jiang Yihang didn't speak.

"I originally thought that your cheating...is already the greatest humiliation." My teeth were chattering, my breathing was painful, my lungs seemed to be filled with water, and tears fell without warning: "It turns out that from a From the beginning, it has been lying to me, and from the beginning, it has been false."

"Qi Brother Qi." His voice trembled.

"What have you thought of me these past few years? Jiang Yihang, where did I provoke you? You want to hurt me so much, you want to drive me to death." His hand loosened, and my whole body was moving Sliding down, the clenched fist has no strength, not even the strength to swing it out.

Really worthless Zuo Qi, why is it like this? I didn't do this when I fought him to the death before, and I didn't do this when I saw him cheating. Why can't I even stand up now?

"Don't you dare to say it? Do you dare to do it or admit it?" My throat hurt badly. I looked at him and said word by word: "Shall I tell you for you that your tattoo is not at all related to that person in the university?" Couple tattoos, but with Zuo Lin, I saw the photo... Or, from the first moment you saw me, you knew who I was, lost Zuo Lin, and you were ready to use me as a substitute , Lied to me all the time, but apart from this face, Zuo Lin and I have very different personalities, so you found a person with a similar personality to him in college, and you took him back to our residence, and you slept together, I had a lot of fun... Hahahahaha, I laughed so hard, what the hell am I? Hahahahahaha..."

I said all the most embarrassing words, those tears just couldn't be controlled, and the last line of defense in my heart suddenly collapsed. I don't understand what I have insisted on all these years, and I don't understand what happened to this world.

i miss grandma...

I couldn't speak at the beginning, and kept choking, I knew I was very embarrassed and ugly, a man who was 1.8 meters tall was sitting on the ground, crying like this, stupid and cowardly.

"I'm sorry, Brother Qi." He squatted down and looked at me: "I'm sorry."

"I have worked hard to live, why can't I live a life that a normal person should live, why do you keep giving me another knife when I finally come out." I grabbed his shirt. , Staring at him, tremblingly said: "Do I have a blood feud with you? What did I do to make you hate me so much? Before I went to the city, I didn't know you at all. Why... What...what do I owe you in my life?"

I am really not reconciled, I hate.

"sorry."

He only knows these three words repeatedly.

"Zuo Lin is dead." I looked at him and said the words he didn't want to hear the last time. They were my relatives who were connected by blood, but they became my tool to stab him. At this moment, I admitted that I was despicable .

"..." He looked at me, and said after a while, "He is your younger brother."

"Yeah." I tilted my head slightly and said in a low voice, "Let's go."

I don't want to say one more word. It turns out that it is useless to fight fiercely. At this time, people feel like their bones have been smashed, and they can't stand up. , I can feel my hands and feet go limp, but my heart has gone from crazy to calm.

Like a pool of stagnant water, no matter what you say, I may not even respond.

He seemed to want to say something to me, but he left in the end. I don't know if he was looking for Ms. Lin, and I don't know what all this has to do with me. I only remembered one more thing later. I didn't ask about the matter, it was his parents. According to the current situation, his parents are very likely to vent their grievances against Zuo Lin on me. Not only have I become a substitute, but I have also become a living target.

As for him, he has been watching and watching, thinking that the reason why he has been lingering beside me these days and doesn't want to break up is probably because he doesn't want to lose me as a substitute.

My stomach was churning, and I was so sick that I wanted to vomit, but I retched several times, and there was nothing but a little acid water. I stood up slowly while holding the car door, trying to walk home, but it didn’t take me long. As soon as he took a step, he fell, and his arm hit the stone wall next to him sharply, and a long cut was drawn out, and blood gushed out instantly.

Today I wore a white shirt with my blood on it. I staggered open the door and went home. After locking the door and closing it, I leaned on the sofa.

Except for me, there is only one dog left in the house. This husky, as always, doesn’t know how to read people’s eyes. When I am not at home, people come to feed them. It was a big circle before.

"Come here." I beckoned, and the dog happily came to my side. I hugged it and murmured in a low voice: "I fell down this time, and it's a big deal. You may not understand. what was lost..."

There is something in my heart that I can't see. Today, it suddenly collapsed with a "boom--" and there was no smoke and dust.

"It would be nice if there was no next life." I hugged it and whispered, "There's nothing good here, it's not worth coming here again."

I smoked a lot of cigarettes, and the ashtray could barely hold it. I bit the cigarette butt, half-closed my eyes, and sat on the ground against the sofa. black.

"It's dawn." From my angle, I can see the light from the outside coming in through the gap in the curtain, falling on the back of my hand a little bit.

"I'm so tired." Indescribable exhaustion filled my body, every inch of my muscles and bones seemed to be stiff, I was tired even opening my eyes to look at the sun, very tired, so tired that even breathing was hard, I wanted to give up.

"Wooooooo." This husky named Sesshomaru stayed with me all night. It lightly rubbed against my neck. I moved my stiff body and tried to stand up while supporting the sofa with one hand, but almost fell to the ground. , probably because I didn’t sleep all night, I was so exhausted, I sat on the floor for a while before going to the bathroom, ready to take a shower to catch up on sleep.

But when I saw the person in the mirror, I stood where I was and didn't even notice the towel dropped on the floor.

The person in the mirror was thin and thin, the white shirt was stained with blood, and there was a hideous wound on the forearm where the left hand was exposed, but... these were not the point.

I saw my hair, half white.

Overnight, a little bit of whiteness.

I couldn't help laughing, raised my hand to touch the white hair, and probably understood why some people can turn gray overnight.

"Hair is white." I took a deep breath and sighed helplessly.

After I got out of the shower, I saw two missed calls on my phone, both from Shen Jiajia. I suddenly remembered that today was the weekend, and agreed to take Shen Jiajia to the playground.

I immediately called back, but Shen Jiajia answered quickly, she deliberately said: "Brother, you didn't answer my call."

"I was in the bathroom just now, I didn't hear it." I laughed, and then said: "Which playground do you want to go, brother will take you there."

The author has something to say:

感谢在2022-03-2016:18:48~2022-03-2100:46:29期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 3 bottles of missing person;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!