that bastard i love

I ran home in horror, wanting to hide and escape from this cruel society.

When I got home, I found that the two fathers were not at home, and I was a little disappointed.

Rather than holding back by myself, I want to tell Papa Wen what I think in my heart, and then listen to Papa Wen's opinion.

I went back to the room in despair, lay on the bed, stared at the white ceiling and walls, feeling depressed, as if something had been stuck in my heart.

Suddenly, I thought of Chen Yao.

Everyone panicked at school just now, so he left Chen Yao alone in the school, and he didn't know what happened to Chen Yao now.

Turning on the phone, just about to send Chen Yao a WeChat message, but saw a news item appearing in the phone news.

It was the incident at school just now.

I frowned and clicked on this news, and involuntarily scrolled to the bottom comment area.

And the content in the comment area really makes people even more angry.

If you just saw it for the first time: children nowadays really can't bear it, and they commit suicide at any trivial matter.

Lonely: I really don't understand the current little baby, if you want to die, you just die silently, why do you want to attract everyone's attention and find a sense of existence?

Zhan Xinmei: I heard that the girl who jumped off the building was the butcher who sold her a while ago. She didn't learn well at a young age, so she doesn't deserve sympathy.

This user does not exist: everyone has left, so please stop talking about it upstairs.

…………

Such comments are not uncommon.

I sat up, crossed my feet, and gritted my teeth to refute these people, but when I opened the keyboard with my hand, I found out.

I do not know what to say.

Criticize their cold-bloodedness, I don't seem to be qualified to teach others.

It is simply unrealistic to criticize them for spreading rumors without knowing the truth.

People will only believe the truth that they see, and they are only willing to believe the "truth" that they want to see. If the whole world regards a deer as a horse, then whatever you say is wrong.

I thought a lot, but in the end I still put away the keyboard and forked the interface.

It's ridiculous, I didn't have the courage to save that girl, and I couldn't defend her.

I can only be a bystander watching all this happen, unable to save anyone, and unable to do anything.

Can only watch silently.

Watching those things happen without the power to change or stop them.

Be an indifferent bystander.

In fact, when I was in school just now, there was a voice in my heart that told me to persuade that girl and pull her down.

But my feet seemed to be tied to a heavy weight, and I couldn't move.

In fact, I also know that it's just my cowardice at work.

There were so many opportunities, I could have run up and dragged her down, but all I did was stand and watch.

I didn't have the courage to stand up, but I didn't have the courage to save her. I could only stand below and watch all this happen silently.

So... what right do I have to blame others, I am nothing but a coward.

So confused...

So sad……

————————————————————————

In the evening, the two fathers came back, as if they had gone out shopping, looking at their smiling faces, I swallowed the words I had prepared.

Because I don't want to spoil their good mood.

Let's talk about such an uncomfortable thing another day. The two fathers are so happy, so let's not spoil their good mood.

I thought so.

But I have forgotten that I am their child, and they are paying attention to every expression and every movement of me all the time.

After pouring dinner, Dad Wen saw that something was wrong with me and asked me what was wrong.

I really want to pull out a smile and tell them nothing, but the smile is uglier than crying.

When I met Shang Wen's father's nervous and concerned eyes, I still couldn't hold back and cried out.

I don't know why I cry.

It is obvious that I am not the one who encountered this kind of thing, and this tragedy has nothing to do with me.

But why, it's just uncomfortable.

It's as if... I hurt that girl.

I know that on the Internet, people call me Madonna's disease, a kind of mental illness. I am sympathetic all day long, as if I am merciful. In fact, it is just to make up for my uneasy conscience.

I do not deny this.

I do have a disturbed conscience, and I condemn myself in my own heart for my cowardice.

Many people say, you have the Madonna disease for others, have others thought about it for you?

If you change your position, will someone pity you?

wake up.

I also wanted to put this matter aside lightly, but I found that I couldn't.

I told Papa Wen and Papa Zhang about this matter and what I was thinking, and they were silent for a long time after hearing this.

After a long time, Dad Wen thought about it and said to me: Go and send a bouquet of flowers to that girl, and give her a ride at the end.

I nodded.

After a while, Zhang's father told me, don't think too much, it's not my fault, many people have the same idea as me, want to save it, but they don't have the courage.

Not everyone has the courage to run up to a high rooftop and pull people down from it with all their strength.

Father Zhang said that even if he was on the scene, he might not have the courage. After all, we are just ordinary people, not heroes.

Not everyone can be a hero.

And for those who watched with a cold eye, or those who watched the excitement and took photos and videos, there was no way.

Because this is the human heart.

Many things can be changed, but people's hearts can never be changed.

The only thing we can change is ourselves.

Dad Zhang asked me what I think of those keyboard warriors on the Internet, and I said: It's disgusting.

Then he told me: Then you should not become such a person in the future.

In the end, I asked Zhang's father whether my mentality of "the Madonna's disease" was really my own mental illness.

Father Zhang raised his hand and gently rubbed the top of my head. He said that it was not a mental illness, but just an uneasiness in my heart.

Everyone will feel uneasy when encountering this kind of thing, because after all, this is a human life, and it is a person who really lived behind him.

Everyone is naturally sympathetic to everything around them. This kindness is not hypocrisy. Being able to have such thoughts proves that I am still a normal person, and my heart has not been distorted.

But in everything, you should think about yourself first, and you must first consider yourself. You can pity others and those poor lives.

But you can't let your kindness become a burden in your heart, and put other people's misfortune on yourself.

Don't always try to save others.

Not everyone can be a hero.