Calculation rules for second-hand goods and second-hand forces

"Did I have any friends before?" Zhao Xiaofu couldn't help saying, "Girlfriend."

Yan Luoqing seems to have been fired these few days, and now he is nestled at home every day, with a calm and silent expression on his face, and the atmosphere is a bit cold if he doesn't find anything to say.

Yan Luoqing raised one corner of her mouth: "Yes."

"Ah?" There really is.Zhao Xiaofu was secretly taken aback. He was just looking for the atmosphere to ask casually. He thought that the surname Yan would complain about him like before, and he became even more suspicious: If it really happened, he didn't see him in the hospital for a few months. People come to see?No contact now!Can't help but ask again: "Have you seen it?"

Yan Luoqing took a sip of porridge expressionlessly, "Are you asking Xiao Li, An An, or Meier?"

Zhao Xiaofu said "Ah?" again.

Yan Luoqing glanced at him indifferently: "If you ask anything else, I really haven't seen it before."

Zhao Xiaofu was a little startled at first, but after he realized it, he was overjoyed, and later he turned into complacency: I never thought God would treat me well! I couldn't help but ask: "What kind of kind? Why are they so long? Didn't come to contact me?"

Although the question is on the lips, multiple plot versions have already emerged in my mind: what is the contemporary Wei Xiaobao story, what is the story of the good son in troubled times, etc., etc.

Yan Luoqing laughed sinisterly, "Want to see it?"

Although Zhao Xiaofu had an ominous premonition, he couldn't help but nodded vigorously driven by curiosity.

"Let's start from Xiaoli," Yan Luoqing took the mouse and clicked on a file named "HONEY" in the hard disk, "This is something you saved before, and almost all the people you contact frequently are in it, but I really haven't read it. Pass……"

If you haven't read it, you won't believe it.Zhao Xiaofu secretly sneered a few times, his eyes gradually widened as the photo was opened and displayed:

"This……"

In the picture, Yi Ren's eyebrows are like distant mountains, her eyes are like water, her small cherry mouth is slightly annoyed, and her black hair is as soft as silk.The people beside Lu are like the moon, and their bright wrists are covered with frost and snow.

This is indeed an out-and-out beauty.

It would be more perfect if there were not too many wrinkles on the face.

"This is Xiaoli's mother?" Zhao Xiaofu finally said "this" for a long time.

With a blank expression, Yan Luoqing pointed to the name at the bottom of the picture with the mouse - "Alice".

Zhao Xiaofu turned his head around twice—Xiaoli=Alice=Xiaoli, and finally turned back to the original place: "No way!"

The next An An and Meier are also Obasan who are over [-] and under [-]. Zhao Xiaofu is so depressed that he wants to vomit: "Damn, Yan, are you kidding me?"

Yan Luoqing leaned back on the chair, grinning her teeth: "Yeah, I'm going to trick you, what's the matter." The last few words were bitten very hard and dragged on for a long time, especially the last word that was written by Zhao. Xiaofu's scalp was numb.

Zhao Xiaofu reached out and turned off the computer in a rage, and went out angrily.

After Zhao Xiaofu slammed the door and left, Yan Luoqing finally read the magazines all morning on the sofa in peace.

His eyes were a little tired from watching, and he suddenly realized that the days without work were too leisurely: Yan Luoqing unexpectedly had a day of unemployment!This is the first time he has this cognition since he came out of the womb.

From kindergarten to elementary school, middle school and even university, the word "excellent" is almost written all over the clothes.

My smooth sailing life hit the rocks here.

Forget it, with his ability, where can he not be a fool?When the time comes, let the old lady take a good look at whether her grandson is really good.

Yan Luoqing remembered that Zhao Xiaofu didn't seem to have brought the garbage last night with him when he went out, so he thought he had done it by himself.

Unexpectedly, when I turned over the trash can, a black object suddenly fell out.

Yan Luoqing didn't care too much at first, but the point is that this object looks familiar.The eyes are so familiar that they seem to have seen and touched them last night.

He wrapped it in a napkin and spread it out... After seeing it clearly, he was startled and then suddenly realized.

In traditional Chinese terms, this is actually a pair of underwear.Specifically, a pair of used but fairly new sound black cotton underpants.

And if I remember correctly, it was Yan Luoqing who just took a shower last night.

According to the normal procedure, this pair of underwear should have been carefully washed and rinsed by his guardian or person in charge, Zhao, and then hung leisurely on the balcony with his colleagues such as shirts and socks to enjoy the sun.

So why did it get to this point?Was it Zhao who accidentally buried it by mistake as a broken rag, or was it led astray by Morrokaze Kuase from the balcony 20 meters away?

Yan Luoqing ran back to her room to check her clothes, only to find that most of her underwear was missing.

Although he didn't know exactly how many he had, but at least there shouldn't be only these dozen or so.

After learning about the tragic fate of her countless pairs of underwear, Yan Luoqing smiled, gritted her teeth while laughing: "Okay, Zhao Xiaofu, I have yours, I have yours!"

Zhao Xiaofu went out for a long time and found no place to go, so he came back in despair, sat in front of the computer in Yan Luoqing's study and logged into the Bagua forum that he often went to.

The water people on the forum have already been in a rage about all the silly and disgusting things.

Popular posts such as "Beautiful girl's breast enlargement story" and "It's so dangerous, little JJ was almost bitten by the dog at home" kept popping up one after another.

To put it aside, Zhao Xiaofu had already poured water into his head, but for some reason, facing the past appetizers, he was obviously not interested today.

After hesitating for a while, he couldn't help but open a post by himself.

While typing the title, I glanced back, for fear that someone would wander in by accident.

Fortunately, someone seems to be downstairs watching TV.

edit, submit.

Seeing that his post finally appeared in the topic list, Zhao Xiaofu breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, just wait.

and so on.

and so on.

Five minutes later, Zhao Xiaofu's post has been refreshed no less than 5 times by himself, and the response rate is actually 50.

What, is it because the title is not attractive enough?

Change and submit.

10 minutes passed, and the response rate finally increased to 3.

Excitedly went in to look, so depressed that I wanted to hit someone...

First post:

sofa.

Second post:

bench.

The third:

Wow, all the sofas and benches are occupied by you, so I have to sit on the floor.

Damn, when I am your house here, if you want a sofa, you can use a sofa, if you want a bench, you can use a bench? !Not even a rug for you!

After closing the forum, he simply went to the game to upgrade, Song Yizhou was not there.No one took it, so I had to fight monsters there alone. After fighting for 10 minutes, two more than 100-level monsters came to snatch it.

Not even allowed to play games?

Zhao Xiaofu became angry all of a sudden, even turned off the game, and sat there sulking.

Suddenly a black shadow flashed past his eyes, and he was startled.

Turning around, it turned out that Yan Luoqing's hair was dripping with water, she was not wearing any clothes, she was only wearing a towel around her waist and looked at him expressionlessly: "Why don't you take a bath?"

Zhao Xiaofu didn't know whether it was because he saw this person's "naked body" for the first time or because he heard this person's "gentle" greeting. Under the gaze, as if being manipulated, he actually walked towards the bathroom in his room.

At the end, he was dabbing bath lotion on his body while wondering: "What's wrong, he told me to wash it and I really took it?"

Yan Luoqing sat on the sofa and yawned, peeling bananas leisurely.

In Zhao XX's room, there was only the faint sound of water continuing, without any abnormality.

A banana, ditto.

Three bananas passed, ditto.

Yan Luoqing began to wonder if his skin was made of pigskin?He just clearly adjusted the water temperature to 75 degrees, and according to common sense, the water temperature of the water heater should continue to rise...

The fifth banana was half peeled, and the sound of water was still the same, but there was a sudden scream: "Ah~~~~~~~~~~~!"

He waited until the people in that room shouted his name and called for help before walking over with a grin.

I saw that the door of the bathroom in the room was locked by the handle on the outside with a chopstick, and the door was shaken almost out of the door frame by the creature inside: "Help~! Huh~! My skin... ...my skin! Ah!"

It seems that the game is a bit too hot, it won't be cooked.

Yan Luoqing hurriedly pulled out the chopsticks, the door was slammed open, and Zhao Xiaofu fell on top of him naked and red all over: "Oh my god, it's hot!! What's the matter with the water, it can't even be closed, what a ghost! It almost took off my good skin! The door still can't be opened! Damn, damn..."

Yan Luoqing also knew that the game was over, so she pulled out a blanket and wrapped Zhao Xiaofu to dry off the hot water on it, checked and saw that his skin was red from the burn, and he was relieved that no flesh was hurt. It's troublesome if you really do it half-baked...

Glancing at the temperature gauge of the water heater outside the bathroom, a little sweat broke out on my forehead: 93 degrees...

It seems that this kid's skin is really similar to pig's skin, without a single blister... It's quite tender to the touch, I don't know how it grows.

Zhao Xiaofu lay on the bed for a while before recovering from his nerves, and when he thought of the danger that he almost became boiled pork belly just now, he cursed again.

What happened to the water?The thermostat is outside the bathroom, and it was set to 45 degrees before going in, and it reached nearly Baidu in just a few minutes. Isn't this water heater too powerful?It's almost as good as boiling water.

The same is true for the door, which cannot be opened at critical times!It seems like something is stuck outside...

Stop...?

A flash of light flashed in his mind, and Zhao Xiaofu couldn't help casting suspicious eyes on the person who just went out and now pushed the door in again.

Of course Yan Luoqing refused to see him, and was about to lift the quilt when she got to the bed.

Zhao Xiaofu firmly grasped the edge of the quilt: "What are you doing?"

Yan Luoqing shook the bottle of medicated oil in her hand: "If you don't apply this medicine within an hour, it is very likely that the whole skin will fall off tomorrow..." Speaking of this, the corners of his mouth curled into a sly smile, "Completed If you take a whole piece of paper, you might blow it up into a human-shaped balloon.”

Zhao Xiaofu originally felt burning pain all over his body, but after hearing what he said, his goosebone came out, he forgot the taboo of nudity for a moment, bravely pulled off the blanket on his body, and put his body in an inviting posture, And cast a wink at the situation:

"Meow, come~ let's go!"

Yan Luoqing controlled her lower limbs so as not to accidentally kick it.

Originally, I wanted to tease him, and I applied this medicine just in case, lest he would have to go to the hospital if he got blisters, but I didn't expect Zhao Xiaofu to be so good at belching people.

Forget it, I owe him the loss, hum.

Pour the medicated oil evenly on the towel, use the index finger to remotely control Zhao Xiaofu to turn over and rub it on his back.

Zhao Xiaofu let out a hiss: "It's so cold!"

Then every time you wipe it, the person under your hand will make a "hiss".

After more than a dozen hisses, Yan Luoqing finally couldn't help kicking him: "Be honest with me, why are you arguing!"

Zhao Xiaofu looked back at him resentfully, squeezed his throat and said, "You, you hurt him."

Yan Luoqing took a deep breath, gained momentum and gave another kick, grinning: "Does it still hurt?"

Zhao Xiaofu covered his swollen calf with a blue face, and hurriedly apologized with a smile: "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt, how can it hurt, hero, your kick is just the magic point."

After all the twists and turns, she finally wiped the medicine all over the pig's body. Yan Luoqing's sense of guilt finally disappeared, and she yawned and was about to go out.

A certain pig who has been treating the process of rubbing the medicine as a massage and enjoying it suddenly feels light on his body, and the comfortable feeling is gone, so he can't help but raise his head: "Hey? It's over?"

Yan Luoqing raised her eyes: "Is it over?"

Zhao Xiaofu said sternly: "Yes, it's endless." The surname Yan has no advantages, except that his massage skills are top-notch. Since God has given this opportunity, it would be a waste of talent if he doesn't take advantage of it.To make the best use of everything is in line with the laws of nature.

Yan Luoqing sized him up from head to toe with ill intentions, and finally fixed her eyes on a certain place grimly: "Yes. I was negligent, there is a place that I didn't wipe."

Zhao Xiaofu followed his line of sight, stared blankly, then blushed and covered his vitals with both hands: "How can anyone else get their hands on this place!"

Yan Luoqing raised her eyebrows and smiled: "Give me 100 million, and I can consider letting it touch my hand."

Back in her study, Yan Luoqing patiently disinfected the computer.

Since Zhao Xiaofu lost his memory, he has forgotten everything, but he has not forgotten how to surf the Internet. Unfortunately, his technology is not as good as before, and he gets a bunch of viruses and Trojan horses every time.

I log in to the forum I often go to with ease, and after a glance, there are many hot posts:

"Flower Girl's Breast Enlargement Story"?

The full text is as follows:

"Once upon a time there was a girl named Huaji, one day she had breast enlargement, and it was over."

Bricks are thrown all the way down the post, and those who don't throw bricks are committing suicide.For a while, the building was full of corpses, those of the landlord and everyone else.

Yan Luoqing smiled while drinking coffee.

"It's dangerous, little JJ was almost bitten by the dog at home"?

I clicked in and found that the full name was "It's so dangerous, little JJ was almost bitten by the dog at home!"Very serious consequences!Really serious! !cry

There are at least 1W words in the full text, and Yan Luoqing's eyes were dazzled before she could barely understand it, to the effect that, LZ himself (note: male), how talented, beautiful, beautiful, charming, extraordinary, up to the aunt I met by chance on the road , down to the dog at home (note: the gender is male), they all have a soft spot for him and dream about him... Even when he was taking a bath one day, the dog couldn't help but broke into the door and wanted to treat him... How should I put it, what happened The thing is as the title says.

The last paragraph of the article is really the finishing touch: "Huahua (the dog above)~ I know it was my fault that I cut your dick, but I did it for your own good. Being a eunuch dog is no big deal! I won't discriminate against you .Besides, even if this is the case, I am also your master. How can you have a heart of revenge and want to punish others in the same way? You have become Dongfang Bubai, so you want me to be Yue Buqun?

How do I usually teach you?Repay grievances with virtue, be loyal, and do nothing to two masters. .Have you forgotten all this?You are so unworthy to be my dog!The master is very sad, the master is very sad, the master is heartbroken, SO, when I sent you to Boss Mei, I just wanted to teach you a lesson, absolutely nothing else.I just didn't expect that Boss Mei would like to eat dog meat stew, and would even invite me to eat it... I didn't know it was you until I finished eating. I'm sorry, Huahua.tears. ——I would like to commemorate my lovely Huahua with this article. "

Yan Luoqing just got goosebumps after reading the first few thousand words, but she was really defenseless after reading the last paragraph, and accidentally spit out her coffee laughing.

While yawning and looking at the post, I suddenly saw a strange ID: "Ginseng, chicken soup".

The post this person made was called: "What is life?" "

The click-through rate was low, and the response rate...even lower.The legendary cold paste.

Yan Luoqing walked in curiously, the full text is as follows:

"I have a friend (Yan Luoqing disagrees: usually people who say this are talking about themselves), one day he woke up and suddenly found that he had no education, no job, no house, no banknotes, no women, and even the only one. Friends, it's almost like nothing. (Yan Luoqing shakes her head sympathetically.)

Everyone said, isn't it a bit of a failure for a seven-foot man to mix like this?Give him some guidance for his future! Thanks. "

With such a cold subject, it's no wonder few people responded.

A quick glance at the replies, 5.

1nd Floor: Sofa

2nd Floor: Bench

Floor 3: Wow, you guys have taken up all the sofas and benches, so I have to sit on the floor.

Floor 4: It's okay, I still have a sewer.Drill, drill.

Floor 5: (with a cold expression)... Idiom Solitaire?I can't take it anymore.In addition, the landlord, mixed up like this, jump off the building.

It was really ridiculous and pitiful, Yan Luoqing shook her head, originally wanted to go out, but after thinking about it, she replied and left.

Exit the forum, go to the D drive to search for information, saw the photo folder, and remembered Zhao Xiaofu's expression when he took a few photos of his aunt today to trick Zhao Xiaofu into saying she was his ex-girlfriend, he was so shocked like something, fucking funny , shouldn't it be true?

Hahaha……

People have no brains, and there is nothing they can do.Shaking his head, he continued drinking his coffee.